me, too

You can enroll and pay the housing deposit . . . even if you aren't sure you're going to that school. It's not a binding commitment. I paid the housing deposit for both my kids as soon as possible (the minute housing opened for my current soon-to-be grad), to secure good housing for their likely college . . . To me, the deposit is a $200 insurance policy on having the best possible housing. If my kid had been applying to other more competitive schools, I'd still secure housing at their most-likely back up if possible.

Here's another great place to ask questions and browse for ideas: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/national-merit-scholarships/ (This board is where I learned about the generous NM schools 2-3 years ago when going through it with college girl)

We got our official National Merit Finalist letter today . . . YAY!! I've been through this rodeo before (college girl, also a NM Scholar), and I thought I'd start a current thread to discuss some things that are specific to NM students (scholarships, etc.) If your kiddo is in this spot this week (yay!!), or if you anticipate maybe being in this spot next year (yay!!), then I thought I'd share a couple tips: This is a pretty comprehensive listing of colleges that offer generous scholarships to NMSF and NMF: http://nmfscholarships.yolasite.com http://nmfscholarships. yolasite. com (omit the spaces -- for folks who can't follow the above link) It's great for brainstorming schools to consider. A little late for some this year, but important to look at for the Class of 2018 kids. Also of note, many of the schools that recruit NM students will *gladly* accept late applications. My son is already committed to attending U Alabama (joining his big sister), so he's not tempted by the other schools. . . But, nonetheless, many schools are still soliciting him to apply and advertising their NM scholarships. Specifically, U Oklahoma and U KY have sent him emails in the last couple days (he hasn't applied to either, but both offer very generous scholarship packages). I think it's really smart to go ahead and apply to one or more generous NM schools even if your kid has their sights set on another school or an elite school . . . It can be a sad spot to be in as a stellar student to get turned down from the Ivies and then "only" have the local in state school as an option . . . Go ahead and apply to a couple of the NM schools (Alabama, Oklahoma, Kentucky, UT- Dallas, etc, etc.) -- the applications are quick, cheap, and painless. Then you can make your final decision later. Worst case, you've wasted $50 and an hour of time. And, I'll make a plug for U. Alabama. My dd has been very happy there and my ds is excited to be joining her. They give NMF 5 years (10 semesters) of free tuition (along with other money, too) and allow students to apply it towards grad school . . . A million opportunities to do a million super cool things. Very wonderful. Anyway, hope this info is helpful to others. Feel free to add more tips/links/insights!

Some people are just not very considerate. The rest of us are considerate in general, but sometimes stuff happens or we miscommunicate and so our actions aren't very nice, even though we really do have good intentions and manage to be nice the vast majority of the time. This is your friend, so only you can judge if this is out-of-ordinary behavior for her, and she's really a great friend nearly all the time. If that's the case, then I'd go, pay for the uber, and not think about it again. Time will tell if this was a one-off or is a pattern. The easiest way to know is to show grace and ignore this lapse of consideration . . . For a long term, dear friend, that's a small investment of grace. If she's often a self-centered dork, then cancel your plans, stay home, and invest your time and energy into relationships that are more positive. All that said, it seems to me that the vast majority of times, it turns out that there were misunderstandings or simple lapses of judgment that make people behave in rude ways. Also, sometimes there are explanations you can't know yet and/or ever. I.e., a creeping up illness (early dementia caused these sorts of seemingly inconsiderate behaviors in my always-generous-and-kind mom), or a secret ailment (is she having back pain or dealing with incontinence or some other issue that she just now realizes would make the long drive during rush hour very stressful?), or a family issue (argument with spouse or adult child who now insists that her plans to drive around during rush hour are unwise/not ok) . . . Oh, there are so many issues that can explain bad behavior. So, if you want to keep the friendship, go on the trip, use uber, and don't sweat it. Be extra kind and tell yourself that there are things you don't know that explain the behaviors. If you skip the trip, I'd consider the friendship toast. The final option is to speak frankly and kindly about the issue . . . This always *seems* like a good idea to me, but in practice, because of the paragraph above explaining possible explanations that may not be explain-able . . . it's not always a great idea.

Personally, I'd think that the choice of which event takes priority would depend on the relative importance of your careers and the relative importance of the events. If both of your careers are significant to your family economy . . . then . . . assuming equal importance to the careers and equal importance to each event . . . If both events are relevant/important to your respective careers, then it's your turn. If neither event is relevant/important to your respective careers (so it's just a fun thing or a minor thing), then it's your turn. If one of your careers is more of a fun-thing and not very relevant to the family economy, then the financially vital career takes precedence, IMHO. Of course, all this goes out the window if one or both of you just has some personal very strong reason for wanting to go to your particular event. Not everything boils down to money, of course. +++ But, for sure, I'd spend the $$ and ask Mom to come stay in the hotel before I'd fight about it with my dh.

We drove one from about spring, 2011 (so a 2011 van, I think, as we bought it new) to fall, 2016. We got about 160k miles on it, in a bit over 5 years, so, yes, we drove it hard! We had zero problems. No repairs other than the standard oil changes, tires, etc. The only reason it was killed at that point was because my young adult daughter delayed addressing the "oil pressure" light . . . If she'd done what she should have done (had it immediately evaluated before more driving), it would have been a 1500-2000 repair, but delaying meant she drove it dry and killed the engine, so we sold it for parts/scrap. I have no reason to believe it couldn't have gone for many more miles and years if dd hadn't killed it before its time. The Kia was reliable, cheap, safe, and just fine. Worked great for us and was *such* a bargain. I knew we'd be driving it hard and we had 3 kids coming of driving age when we were in the market, and so I knew we'd both "wear it out" quickly with all the miles plus we'd be buying a *lot* of vehicles in the approaching years (yes, very true!), so I was not inclined to spend anything more than needed to get the job done. The Kia van fit the bill perfectly for us. ps. Before the Kia, we'd had a Ford minivan and then a Toyota minivan. (All bought new.) The Kia was MUCH less trouble than either of those!!! Both the Ford and Toyota were retired around 125k miles IIRC (and about 5-6 years each), but those two had lots of expensive mechanical issues towards the end of their life times, not due to abuse, just due to bad luck. The Kia lasted longer problem free and never did have a problem that wasn't due to abuse.

You get a trophy from me for not locking him in a closet for the rest of the day. (just kidding . . . of course . . . ) But, really, that's bad behavior, and I'd be MAD MAD MAD in your shoes. BTDT, that kiddo is working the system. Since you feel bad for having a fit, then go ahead and let THIS one go . . . Once you're feeling calm about the whole thing, make it clear whatever your expectations are (bring your dang backpack, etc, etc) AND what the consequences are if he doesn't fulfill them (read the book that I've put in my glove box . . . which is very academic and utterly extra school work . . . AND no FIOS, etc, AND do the rest of your regular work later that day/week before you're allowed to do whatever fun stuff you like to do) . . . (or whatever variation works for you). You're in the right. Kiddo was being naughty, to get out of work, which is completely normal but also completely not acceptable. My sympathies lie 100% with you. And I *totally* get being sick and tired of the whole dang thing by the third time around. I'm just worn OUT!

I would absolutely see a doctor TODAY. First off, cat bites are very prone to infection. Second off, cat bites to the HAND are the very, very worst kinds. Super prone to infection and super prone to do very serious damage. You MUST start an appropriate antibiotic NOW. Third off. many times, cat bites get so severely infected they require in patient treatment with IV antibiotics. Catch it IMMEDIATELY and get on a good ABX, and you can probably avoid that. Fourth off, rabies is SERIOUS. You MUST contact animal control and follow the protocol they recommend. Most likely, the first step will be get the cat TODAY into a vet or shelter and check for a microchip. If you are very lucky, the cat will be chipped and then you can track down rabies vaccination info and avoid having to get prophylaxis injections. Fifth, if you can't get confirmation of up to date rabies vaccination in the cat, you REALLY REALLY should get the full course of rabies vaccinations (prophylaxis). In general, these are handled by health departments. DO NOT DELAY and DO NOT LOSE THE CAT. CONTACT your own doctor, the health department, and animal control. TODAY, ALL THREE. If you have a good relationship with a vet, you can call them and they can walk you through the process in your locality. Dh is a vet . . . and I know just enough about rabies that I am 100% certain that in your shoes, I would absolutely demand to start PEP (post exposure prophylaxis) within 24 hours if you cannot confirm current rabies vaccination status on the cat. It is a small risk that you'll get rabies from this bite. But it is a 99.9999% risk that you will die if you do get it.

Expensive: + music, especially harp (*especially* harp), and in general, serious music study of any sort that involves private lessons and instrument purchases + gymnastics, ice sports, any sport that involves a lot of travel or are in the special travel/private/fancy leagues + down hill skiing/boarding Cheaper: + folk music study, + Scouting + local sports with the county/city volunteer-based league + FIRST Robotics (also, FLL Robotics) . . . at least in *our* area. This varies WIDELY. Here, our local leagues get donors/sponsors and make the per-kid cost nearly free (really, all we pay are t-shirts . . . ) In other places, this can cost thousands per year per kid . . . so YMMV + cross country skiing (especially if you can do it locally on free trails and buy your own equipment) + hiking In general, I think the key is to keep your eye open for local opportunities. I know some really awesome local activities that are *relatively* inexpensive that would be many times more expensive in most locales . . . For several years, our homeschool ski club made it so kids (and parents!) could ski (or board) for the day for $6 (if they owned their own equipment) or $18 for ticket+equipment+a lesson! That was about 85% off retail price! And it was every Tuesday all season long . . . It's about 2-3x that cost now, and still a great bargain. Likewise, I know a guy who gives great riding lessons for $25 for an hour, about half typical pricing . . . and a great old time fiddle teacher who teaches for $20/hr (about 1/3 typical charges). Anyway, I'm sure every locality has some great deals . . . I have tried to keep my eye out for them and let the kids take advantage of opportunities when they come up. We pay full rate for some very expensive things . . . but for "extras" that aren't our highest priorities, it's nice to find great deals to explore a new sport, etc.

When I was really into running, the (research based) rule of thumb was --- if it's above the neck, you're good to go (full workout); if it's below the neck, you need to rest. So, snotty head is fine to run (just be prepared to send snot rockets into the woods). Actually, exercise tends to do a great job of clearing sinuses. But, if you have a bad chest cold, take a chill, and get in bed! Likewise, body chills/fever, etc, is below the neck, and for sure requires "relative" rest, if not full on couch-ridden rest. That said, "rest" in these terms means "relative rest", not sitting on your butt. So, if you usually run 5 miles, maybe you'd run 2 or 3 at a slower than normal pace. Scheduled for 40 miles this week . . . maybe do 25 and skip the speed workouts and shorten your long run. Or maybe you'd just go for a nice hike or walk some days in place of a more serious endeavor. In my general experience, a couple/few mile nice walk never hurt anybody unless you're really disabled by an injury or severe illness.

ps. If you are in the market for a private consolidation loan, I've heard good things about this company. A friend actually invests a lot in these loans, essentially lending his money to people in need of a loan . . . I don't know anyone who has used it as a borrower, but from what I have seen when I was investigating investing in these loans, it seems to me that the overall rates are substantially lower than the 18-19% you are paying. I can't vouch for it, but it is something worth considering if they can give you better terms than you are paying. https://www.lendingclub.com

First off . . . if your credit is improving/decent, then you'll probably get more 0 (or very low) % offers soon. (Nearly always, after paying off a major debt/card, immediately the 0% offers flow into the mail box, IME.) When we were broke and running balances on credit cards . . . I played the cards like a master, lol. When I'd get a 0% offer in the mail, they'd always be good for 2-3 months . . . So, I'd pay THAT card down to $0 and then I'd transfer the max I could to it for the 0% . . . Rinse, repeat. I ran a lot of debt that way for very low over all cost, for years. Not very comfortable to have that sort of debt over your head, but at least the actual "cost" of the debt was very low. Danger is always that you'll NOT pay off the balances and just accrue more and more debt . . . If you are diligent about NOT letting that happen, and actually making progress on your debt over time, then I personally am in favor of using the interest rates to your advantage. Pay off high interest debt first, etc. Also, when you pay off a card, I'd stash it away in a safe place but do NOT close it (for credit rating purposes). Watch for better offers on current cards (best option) and even for new offers from new cards . . . But, keep in mind that any NEW cards will ding your credit score. So, avoid opening new accounts if you plan to apply for a mortgage/car loan/etc anytime soon. If you carefully keep track, on a monthly basis at least, of the balance on EVERY debt and make sure you are truly going in the right direction, then you're in good shape. Debt sucks, and those are very high rates these days. If you don't see a way of paying it off in the next 1-2 years, I'd seriously consider looking for a debt consolidation loan or similar thing that is at a better interest rate. Worked for me . . . but YMMV.

I know tons of type A people, myself and dh among them. Being a driven, high stress personality type (type A) does not at all mean that person loves being driven and stressed. Most of us (self included) work hard nearly all the time to be mellower than we instinctively feel. We do this for many reasons, but most of it boils down to the fact that stress is uncomfortable and unpleasant to all the people feeling it and around it. And being driven will drive OTHER people crazy if you don't try hard to tone it down. In my attempts to tone down my driven nature and chill out my stressed nature, there's no desire or drive to fool anyone. I'm just trying not to be an asshole and trying not to give myself a stroke before age 60.

If you are planning on a major overhaul of your kitchen within 2 years, I would go cheap and quick (google up pantry cabinets, go cheap, plan to repurpose to the basement/etc after the remodel) for the purpose you state. Save the $$$ for the remodel, as you'll want all the $$ you can get for that!!! (You'd likely spend 2-3k for a custom cabinet that size, at least, with a custom cabinet maker . . . More like 3-5k if you get anything but the cheapest options.) (Just did a major remodel 2 years ago, and still recovering, lol)

Huh, no, I have very little idea of what you are talking about. Maybe I don't get out enough. Or maybe I'm too busy battling my own demons and those obvious demons that threaten the vulnerable around us to judge the internal contentment/peace/zen-ness of other women? The people who really drive me batty are those who negatively judge those who are going about their business trying to be the best person they can be. Most of us have aspirations and visions of what kind of person we'd like to be. I personally enjoy being around kind people who are seeking to follow the path they've chosen towards being the best they can be. I guess that's why I enjoy being around serious Christians who are devoted to walking their walk just like I enjoy being around serious humanists/atheists who are also devoted to walking *their* path towards being the best person they can be. And I enjoy being around people who are just confused as heck and struggling and have no idea what path they should be on, but are experimenting and struggling with a goal being to figure out what path they should be on and what they are even aiming towards (teenagers!! love them!) I've recently had a similar conversation with my 14 year old who was disheartened (judgy) about a friend who is going through a fit-in-phase with a particular clique at that kid's school. I tried to explain to her that "trying on" different personalities/preferences/styles/activities is not only normal but *healthy* as it allows people to explore what sort of person they want to be. It's not in-authentic to start dressing like a flower-child after making friends with some similarly-dressed kids . . . And it's not in-authentic to go for a lot of hikes all of a sudden when you get in with a crowd who likes to hike . . . And it's not in-authentic to suddenly start going to church twice a week when you've found a church group that is appealing to you . . . Some of these "try ons" might "stick" long term, while most of them will get discarded as the person evolves into whatever their long-term personality/spirit is going to be . . . That's all healthy and good. I don't enjoy holier-than-thou people who spend much of their time tearing down people. I don't enjoy people who spend much of their time finding flaws and weaknesses in others. Not only is that not helpful for the person doing the judging, but it's also just putting energy into a very negative space in relationships and the universe. We all have weaknesses. We all experiment. We all try to be better (define how you choose) than we are. That's all part of the goodness of humanity, IMHO. We try. We aspire. I'd rather be around someone who was trying too hard to be a good person than be around someone who is not trying hard enough to be a good person.

Sounds to me like your mom and dh are trustworthy and are looking out for your best interests. If you are at 128 (or 131), and that is at or near the very low end of a healthy BMI for your height, then, to me, the numbers agree with your dh and your mom that you are on the borderline of being too thin. This sounds more like an emotional/psychological concern, and I'd think you're best served by finding a good therapist to discuss the issue with. Gaining 5# to put you still at the lower to middle end of healthy BMI is certainly not a negative health-wise. As we age, our bodies actually generally do BETTER at somewhat higher BMI. There is some strong data that BMIs below 23 or so are worrisome as we age. Obviously, all BMI and similar "rules of thumb" are generalizations and not necessarily reflective of a problem with a specific individual. However, in general, I have come to understand that perhaps the generalization of healthy BMI ranges nudge upwards as we age, and that we should likely aim to be in the healthy range <45 or so and then nudge upwards a point or so every 5 years from then on . . . So, maybe if BMI of 19-20 was the *low* end of good for a 40 year old, 21-22 maybe for 50, 23-24 for 60, etc. That's just a guesstimate from a total lay person . . . but I did read up a LOT on this issue as my own mom lost weight in her old age, and I was her health care proxy / medical POA / etc, so I had responsibility to help assess what was best for her and how to achieve that . . . You obviously have a very good ability to manage your weight (well done!!). You know what you need to do to maintain it, and you can do the math to figure out how to gain a few pounds and then maintain that. I think you just need to figure out what's holding you back from doing that. It's likely fear of being heavier again, which is totally understandable, but should also be something you can overcome for your overall health and wellbeing.

How about the Salzammergut region of Austria? http://www.austria.info/au/activities/lakes-nature/salzkammergut-lake-district I'm not positive about the foodie-aspect of that area, as when I traveled there I was poor, lol. But, it's super beautiful (mountains, lakes, adorable villages) and I am sure you can google up info about the food.

Look at "pantry" cabinets at IKEA and similar. There are tons of options. A custom cabinet maker could totally do it, too. Just figure out what your ideal is, what your budget is, and go from there!! Alternately, you could easily find a nice antique cabinet of some sort. I have one in my hall that is just about exactly that size, with solid wood doors on the bottom half and glass doors up top.

My kids have flown solo quite a bit to visit relatives, etc. Tips: + Various airlines have very different rules re: unattended minors traveling. Some require staff supervision up until 16+ and you have to pay $$ for that. If you don't mind the $$, then that's an option. Personally, I use Southwest Airlines as much as I can, as they don't require it, and we don't need it. + Direct flights are MUCH less stressful and risky. When my kids were younger, I only would put them on direct flights solo. I'd drive 3-4 hours to a very major airport so they could fly direct. + You can accompany the child to the gate, and his dad can pick him up at the gate. You just have to bring your ID and be prepared to go through security (no drinks, knives, etc.). Go to the ticket counter for the relevant airline, tell them you'd like to accompany your child to the gate, and they'll give you a special pass to get through security. His dad can do this on the other end. You can sit there at the gate until they actually take off. + If you have to get a connecting flight, consider choosing a connecting city that is within an hour's drive of some trusted family member or friend. Having lived through 9/11 and the all-airlines shut down for 4 days . . . I'm paranoid about this sort of disaster. Similarly, winter weather/mechanical issues/etc, can occasionally require an overnight stay at a connecting airport. (Happened to my college girl this past fall break.) So, having SOMEONE within a reasonable drive who could come rescue the kid at the airport in case of disaster gives me peace of mind. + Aim to fly earlier in the day, and on an airline that has multiple flights per day to your destination. Airlines SUCK EGGS about flight sharing now. When dd's flight was canceled going back to school after fall break, there were a couple flights very early the next morning on OTHER airlines, but the (major) airline she was one would NOT book her a flight on those other airlines . . .only their OWN flights (not until the next day, too late to get back in time for an exam) . . . I ended up having to buy an entirely new ticket to get her back in time for her exam . . . Soooooo, anyway, point is that if the flight is early and there are more flights later . . . there's a much higher chance that your kid will get on a flight a bit later, but not stuck overnight. + Make sure the carry-on has all critical meds/etc and enough toiletries/clothes for at least 24 hours. + If you fly WITH your kid regularly, then take those trips as opportunities to teach them to navigate, etc. Once my kids were 12 or so, I started having THEM navigate me through connections/check in/etc. Also, do a lot of coaching on why you go to the gate early, when to use the rest room, etc, etc. I sorta' treated it like I do teaching them to drive . . . . Essentially talk them through every step and every issue as much as possible in advance of them doing it . . . then have them do it with you by their side . . .

Go to a bike shop! I have a huge head, and so does my son. I was surprised that the local bike shop had very reasonable prices, too. Just look at mens' helmets. Try them on, have a staff member help you.

Of course, grade it, and give him an A.

When kid #2 was 14 months old (still nursing at least several times a day), my dad had a stroke across the country, and my only sibling (only other close relative, as my folks were divorced and Dad was an only child with no cousins, either) was unreachable backpacking in a wilderness area, so, in a matter of hours, I was on a plane, alone, to go take care of Dad in the ICU. I was there 5 days that trip and 4 more a week later (rotating with my brother, once he got out of the wilderness). I had no prep time, and no planning time, and no pumped milk, etc. My baby was upset with me when I got home (wouldn't look me in the face for a few hours! It BROKE my heart.) BUT, my milk came right back, and he nursed for another year or two. Both times. No problems. No engorgement, either. I noticed that when I'd quit nursing (gradually, after months of 1-2 times/day nursing) after each baby, I still HAD some milk for MONTHS. I'm pretty sure I could've got my milk back easily, even after months of no nursing! Anyway, that's just my personal experience. No guarantees. And, FWIW, it really was the hardest thing I've done as a mom -- leaving my nursling and then facing his sadness when I returned -- it was clear he'd suffered even though he seemed fine to Dad and the grandmas who helped while I was gone. I wouldn't do it unless you have no choice, personally.

Meet up at an ice cream place for ice cream? Ice cream places are fun for the kids, cold and uncomfortable so no one would stay long, and quick in general. Easy to get in and out.

Pinworms are beat-able. I won't disclose how I know that . . . but I know it!!!! Tips:: take an appropriate dewormer on schedule. (pyrantel pamoate. . . google up the dosage . . . available OTC for animals . . . and people, but the animal stuff is cheaper and is readily available, just be sure you get your math straight on dosage. ) repeat the dewormer every 2 weeks. ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD. Repeat at least 3 times. (Pinworms actually reproduce on/in the human host . . . So you've got to repeat the deworming on schedule to really get rid of them.) wear (fresh) undies & PJ bottoms every night. clean jammies every night. bathe thoroughly before and after bed. Showering is best. single use bath linens. (including hand towels, etc!). Hot water wash between uses. Do NOT share linens!! Put paper towels in the bathrooms for a few months if needed. wash your bed linens daily in hot water and hot dryer (at least daily until symptoms disappear . . . ideally daily for 4-6 weeks through 3 doses) wash hands thoroughly and frequently and after ANY touching below the waist!! +++ Yes, that's a whole heap of annoying work. For a few weeks. And then, you are FREE FREE FREE. It's WAY worth the effort!!!! (If any signs recur later, re-do the regimen!) It's theoretically possible to get rid of pinworms without medication. Many human bodies fight it off themselves. Others might be good enough at hygiene (possible theoretically) to eliminate an infection. Some people are not annoyed or bothered by pinworms, which is why so many people have it unknowingly. Other people are more sensitive . . . Be sure EVERYONE in the household is on the regimen. They might be carrying them w/o symptoms and then re-infecting the more sensitive folks . . . Be SURE to re-dose everyone in 2 weeks (3 times total minimum) or you'll be starting all over again!!! Wash, wash, wash everything in the house that is washable. Over and over again. ESPECIALLY linens and sleepwear!!