No, I don't wash ground meat!! I don't think that's feasible. Also, that's why it's important to cook ground meat throughly -- no pink!! Whereas steaks, etc, can be rare, burgers should always be well done. The bacteria, gross stuff/contaminants from the processing plant, etc are generally on the surface of the meat, which is why you want to cook the surface of all the meat . .. and since ground meat is infinite surfaces, you gotta' cook it all the way through. At least, that's my understanding. (I prefer my meat burnt, so that's fine with me, lol.) I do wash all other not-ground meat, though. (And, yes, I know experts now say the risk of contaminating other surfaces is greater than the benefit of washing the meat . . . but I'm a meat-safety lunatic and segregate all meat-handling tools, use a dedicated empty and clean (before and after) sink (not contaminating a sink-full of dishes, etc.) and sanitize everything like mad after meat handling, etc, so I'm not worried about that personally. ) And, I buy my (grass fed) meat from a local source, so it's just ONE cow in that package of ground beef, not hundreds/thousands all mashed up together. :) I believe the risk of various contaminants is lower this way. Meat is icky. But it is also tasty, lol.

So horrifying.

$30 for regular doctors (including mental health). $50 for specialists. $0 for ER. $0 for wellness visits.

I guess orange tinted-ness is nothing to joke about. :( I was glad you enjoyed the humor, though. And, I'm glad your pot came clean. Happy cooking!

Since you can afford it, I totally advise moving first, selling empty. It'd be a nightmare any other way. Most folks don't have that option, but you do, so TAKE IT!!

nm

Life's turned out beautifully for me. I'm very fortunate and thankful. No regrets. That said, my life being fabulous is very dependent on my very fortunate choice of spouse. :) I take no credit for that whatsoever. Pure, blind luck, lol. I don't think anyone should be entirely dependent on a spouse's sanity or kindness for their own welfare. Death and disability can be insured against (and MUST be, IMHO, in a situation like mine which is very dependent on one high earning spouse) . . . but craziness or midlife meanness, etc. can't be insured against. So, everyone should have a back up plan, which in my mind means a good education preparing for some sort of reasonable job, and being financially assertive and responsible from Day 1 of the marriage as well. I got my education and a back up plan, so that was good. I'm glad I didn't need to use it, but I had it, and I think everyone should have that before having kids. And I did always make sure to be responsible and assertive financially, making sure we had the insurance needed, taking responsibility for financial strategy/planning/investing, and getting the financial and estate planning needed done, etc. Just because you are not a main wage earner does NOT excuse you from being financially responsible. IMHO, it is imperative for a non-earning spouse to be very active in finances. I hope my kids can all have a choice to have a parent at home full time or to have one or both parents working reduced hours for at least the years while their kids are young. I'm encouraging them all to pursue careers that offer good pay, flexibility, and meaningful work. We have lots of honest conversations about finances and career choices and how those things impact quality of life and family happiness. I hope they make good choices. My girls both are very determined to homeschool their kids as they have very positive feelings about our homeschooling journey (my boy is grouchier and more noncommittal about having kids at all, lol), and we'll see how that turns out for them . . . If they live near me (or we live near them!), then I'd definitely love to be able to support and assist them in that. I have dreams of being the helpful grandma who comes and snuggles or strolls the babies while Mom teaches her older kids . . . and the helpful grandma who takes over teaching a topic or two when helpful . . . or who handles the dishes and laundry a couple afternoons a week so Mom can get some quality time in with the kids . . . I hope I get to be that helpful grandma someday, whatever schooling option they choose for their kids. I just really look forward to squooshy grand babies, lol. (It's been too long without a baby in the family!) I agree that homeschooling high school is a big challenge and not for everyone, at all. We have been able to afford to outsource a lot of high school, which is a huge convenience. I think if I was "fresher" to homeschooling, maybe I could have enjoyed jumping in and really doing high school with my kids, but after 20 years of FT parenting and homeschooling for 15+ of those years, I'm worn out enough to be happy to be able to outsource many courses. If I couldn't afford to outsource and "buy" convenience that way, I think I'd have had to send them to a regular school.

Consider shopping around now that you have your essential needs met. Dh's 500k 20 year term was under 80/mo, IIRC . . . (bought at age nearly 50).

I'm with you. I'm terrified. As the days progress, I get more and more frightened. I remember the bomb drills (hiding under the desks) and living under constant fear of nuclear annihilation. Growing up in the DC suburbs during the Cold War amplified that fear. For decades, we had a firm plan of what to do in case of nuclear war . . . Drive TOWARDS D.C. for a rapid death as opposed to living through the slow death in the suburbs. The fear itself is dangerous, too, as it can be used to control the population. This is something we need to remember every day and as politics evolve. Who is using our fear? For what ends? Will a coup occur? Is that coup being planned already? What happens after the coup? What state of emergency actions will be taken and with what impact for how long? I'm rethinking the wisdom of living in the US. New Zealand is looking better all the time. I've never been a conspiracy theorist . . . but . . . ((((hugs)))) and sympathy.

FWIW, there was a definite mountain lion tracked very near a local school a few weeks ago. Officially, there are NO mountain lions in our region. However, there WAS definitely a mountain lion nearby just a few weeks ago. I know about it just because I happen to be close friends with the expert who tracked it and my child attends activities on the property . . . Even here, locally, this info is super secret . . . as the officials who were notified don't believe it . . . and the locals who tracked it don't want the publicity/fear/panic that announcing their finding would create. So, maybe a dozen of us locals who are close to the people who tracked it know about it, and another dozen or so families who were impacted by the change in activities at that school might have some suspicions . . . (activities in the woods were stopped for 3 weeks . . .) but zero press release/coverage, etc. Mountain lions are very hard to spot/track/photograph, and until there is unambiguous proof, which would take a lot of time and effort and luck to obtain . . . the mountain lion(s) in our region will remain secret . . . Mountain lions are expanding, for sure. If it's a mountain lion, supposedly (according to national mountain lion experts consulted in our local case), they tend to visit a particular area just for 2-3 weeks and then move on . . . (at least in our region where they are not common . . . this might be different in other regions . . .) . . . So, if that'd the case, maybe it will move on?

Awww, that's so sad!!! Are there any "guard animals" that could protect your sheep? Like llamas or dogs or whatever other guard animals work against coyotes? :( So sad!! (((hugs)))

St. George Island. The entire island is very nice, but we preferred either tip -- which are more sparsely developed, generally staying in the Plantation which is on the west end or, occasionally we stayed in the East End which is also lovely. Each end has its own pros/cons. :) The middle part of the island is more heavily developed (but still very low density compared to most beaches!!), but it is cheaper, too, if price is a big issue. VERY highly recommended if you like perfect beaches and few crowds. :) In the winter, I'd choose a house with a hot tub. :) Some even have heated pools, but a hot tub would be enough for me. If you look hard, you can find houses that offer steeply discounted monthly rentals. Some monthly rates are about what 2 weeks would cost . . . Many houses offer monthly rates in Jan-Feb, and a few in the Fall. There were only a very few nice beach front houses that offered great monthly rates in October . . . so we always booked 12 months in advance, lol. But, in the winter, you'll have lots of choices. If you don't require being right on the beach, you'll have TONS of choices.

While my kids were small, the only vacations that I considered actual vacations were beach rental houses ON the beach. Close enough that I could run in to the house for a diaper change or a child's nap but still be able to sit on the deck watching the dolphins . . . And close enough that I could holler from the deck for the kids . . . We ate all breakfasts and lunches at the house as well as 80% of the dinners. Once or twice a week we'd go out somewhere for dinner that we loved. As the kids got older, beach toys evolved from buckets and shovels up to kayaks and paddle boards . . . But the general idea is the same. Those are STILL my favorite vacations. :) We spent a month at the beach every fall for a decade . . . can't do it anymore with college/etc schedules . . . but those were the BEST DOLLARS we've ever spent. BEST. I wouldn't trade one of those months for a whole heap of cash. They were precious. As a homeschooling family, you have the treat of being able to vacation off season when rates are lower and crowds are small. Our favorite spot is the FL gulf coast, which is divine in the fall. (Our MONTH rental would cost less than a week in the summer at the same house . . . and temps were in the 70s/80s instead of 90s/100s!) Oh, also, I'd freeze dinners in advance, and stock the house with groceries at the outset (carefully planned to make sure we had plenty and didn't have to run to the store anytime soon). Lasagnas, casseroles, marinated meats, OAMC meals, etc . . . all made ahead of time for really simple and fast meal prep. And, of course, paper goods for snacks/etc other than main meals minimized clean up.

Welcome to my world, and the same world many of us live in, lol. Kids work around rules. That's their mission in life, so far as I can tell -- to outsmart their parents. Is this your eldest child? I'm guessing that either this is your eldest, thus your inexperience with this, lol. If you have other kids who don't/didn't do this sort of thing as a preteen/teen, then you're really, really lucky!! I've got 3 kids. First one didn't do this sort of thing. She's an angel. Full stop, lol. Both #2 and #3 have done this sort of thing routinely. #2 made it his life's work to evade my rules. #3 does it more just to get what she want as opposed to #2's doing it for the pure joy of disobedience (read: independence in his hormone addled brain) Drastic things will not help, in my experience. (And, I have a lot of experience, lol) For your example, I'd simply impose whatever consequence you would for breaking the rule. His "2AM does not equal night" is nonsense, and you don't need to argue it. Your rule, you are the judge, your definition, not interested in debating it. You can try to be more specific on that sort of rule. That'll help some for the future. I've learned not only to be very specific but also sometimes to make my son write the rule in his own hand (or text it to me!) and sign and date it . . . My electronics rule was "No laptop or phone in the bedroom or bathroom between 9PM and 5AM" Another electronics rule was "Laptop and phone must be plugged in on the kitchen desk between 9PM and 5AM. No exceptions." Get used to being exhausted. Try not to get crazy. Just set the rule, STAY CALM, and enforce the rule according to your best judgment, consistently, tweaking as needed. Don't bother debating the specifics of the rule. If the kid seems genuinely confused about the rule, then clarify . . . But go ahead and enforce your most reasonable interpretation of the rule at that time . . . (I.e., clearly 2AM is breaking the rule, so enforce the consequences accordingly, no matter what nonsense the kid argues . . .) ((((hugs)))) This, too, shall pass . . .

We've got 4 cats and *many boxes* including one of these boxes. The cats seem to use it fine. it's great!!! We have it in the home office where I really don't want litter scattered around. LOVE it!!

PSA:: Disability insurance needs to be carefully studied and selected . . . It is a LOT more complicated than life insurance. If you're dead, everyone agrees you are dead. But, if you are disabled, there are about a million ways to define whether or not someone is disabled. Typical disability insurance, including gov't disability coverage, has a very narrow definition of disabled. You're only disabled if you can not work in ANY JOB. So, if you are a veterinarian who earns 100k a year, and you get a brain injury or other injury that makes it so you can no longer be a veterinarian, but you COULD be a just fine greeter at Walmart earning $9/hr . . . NO PAY OUT. If you have a better income, you need "own/same occupation" rider on your policy. That, generally, dramatically increases your costs for the policy. But, it's essential . . . IMHO. I would never have known such a thing if my mom hadn't been a family attorney and coached us on these things early on in our professional lives . . . But, it's super critical . . . Otherwise you're paying for a fairly meaningless policy . . . There are lots of other factors . . . Obviously, you have to decide how much $$ per month pay out you'd require/want (costs increase pretty directly proportionately with coverage) . . . IIRC, they generally will write coverage for up to around 70% of your monthly earnings . . . One interesting thing is that since disability insurance generally only pays you until you hit 65, it doesn't generally become more pricey as you age (unless you've got some ailments that make it apparent that you're more likely to get disabled) . . . Some (many) policies will have maximum pay outs in $$ amounts or in # of months or years . . . Anyway, I do agree that disability insurance is critical. We spend a LOT on disability insurance because of it . . . Not only would we lose Dh's earnings if he would be disabled, but we'd also have HIM to take care of!! So, our $$ needs would be much higher having a disabled adult to care for in addition to taking care of the "survivors" . . . Disability coverage will cost you a pretty penny, but IMHO, it's critical . . .

Yes, I think your plan is excellent. As long as you can afford/manage it, then it's great to me. The parents probably don't care about the $$, so they said whatever. They have the fixed cost anyway and don't want to be greedy. If the cost you are offering is tough on your budget, then I think it would be acceptable to ask if less would have been OK, but since you've already offered, I'd stick with what you offered without reduction. Most important thing, to me, is that you always have your kid there when he's supposed to be (likewise picked up on time) . . . When I do favors like this, the convenience/inconvenience issues are BY FAR the most important to me. So long as you don't inconvenience them, then it's a win win for everyone. And, FWIW, if my kid were the driver, I'd be happy he had company on the drive.

Yoikes, that's tough!! Do try vinegar though if you have some around, on a small section if nothing else. Especially with a little dish soap added in . . . It quickly annihilates the pink/red mold that likes to grow on the grout in my shower . . . Shocking how well it works, lol. I think the soap makes the vinegar stay in the spot and in contact longer . . . Do turn on the fan and open the window . . . it really stinks up the place more than you'd think!

I have no idea, but . . . Have you tried straight white vinegar?? It smells terrible, but I figure it's very safe . . . and it works wonderfully . . . (I use a 80/20 mix of vinegar and Dawn soap . . . Stinks but works and is safe. . .)

I agree that this varies hugely with family culture, family finances, family personalities . . . In my family of origin as well as dh's family of origin, our parents were comfortable financially and supported their kids fully through undergrad and then helped to a smaller degree during grad school. The adult kids lived frugally, worked summers from high school onwards, worked during school months to varying degrees (none to half time) during college and a bit more during grad school. None of us expected support after undergrad but appreciated the partial supports that were given. By the time we graduated college, we'd taken full responsibility for our financial lives, and appreciated whatever partial helps our parents offered. If we needed/wanted help as young adults, we asked for it humbly and appreciated offers of help. Post-college help was often in the form of direct parent-to-child loans or co-signing loans. All the adult "kids" were appreciative, humble, hard working, diligent, and responsible. . . As parents, we expect to do the same for our kids -- full support through undergrad and partial support as needed and as we are able after college. In my mind, we have a duty to our kids to get them through undergrad w/o loans (as our parents did for us), as long as they are cooperative, diligent, and respectful of both our finances and our contributions (i.e., not wasteful and being respectful of our financial limits). I don't feel a duty to support them post-undergrad, but we would be very happy to help them however we are able should they benefit from our continued help. Our financial limits for post-college support will be determined at that time, depending on how frugal they are during undergrad (i.e., taking spots at schools that offer them large merit awards and then using them wisely) and how our investments/businesses do meanwhile. We have certain things we expect to be able to offer them, but we don't feel obligated to do so should circumstances change. . . whereas we do feel obligated to get them through undergrad debt-free, as that feels like a pay-it-forward obligation that we took on when we accepted help from our own parents. What each family does is up to them . . . But in the typical American household, the way our economy is set up . . . I do feel that parents have an obligation to help their kids attain a college education (or a comparable career-track training program of some sort) in order to help the child be able to support themselves and their families -- before flinging them out the door and washing their hands of the responsibility for the kid. I do NOT think parents should go into debt for their kids' educations . . . but I do think parents should do all they are reasonably able to do to help their kids get enough education and/or training so they can get a decent job . . . I do think it's fair for a parent to work extra (say a non working spouse take a job) to help pay for college years . . . I'd have done that if needed . . . In all cases, I think responsible parents should ease their kids toward self-sufficiency over a period of months-to-years . . . not decades, lol. Parents should help enable their kids to manage money, pay bills, etc, independently . . . I do find that giving my young adult kids set amounts of $$ instead of simply covering all bills makes for LESS total $$ spent as well as a better training ground for the young adults. . . So, I've transitioned to giving a budget of $xxxxx for the 9 month school year for college girl . . . with all the incoming and outgoing $ values in a spread sheet, which calculates monthly budgets for utilities/food/gas/etc. . . So, college girl gets $x from us and $y from other sources and must manage it to cover all the expenses . . . We reviewed the budget every so often and adjusted it as needed . . . this has been a HUGE help and gives me much more confidence that college girl will be able to responsibly manage her own earnings . . . which came just in time since she's accepted a well-paying co-op position and will get FT earnings this summer and then for a couple more semesters over the next 2 years . . . Now that she's SEEN how much mom and dad $$ it takes to cover her living expenses . . . She can SEE ahead of time, that those big pay checks will actually need to mostly go to her living expenses . . . and not to purchase frivolous things . . . I am pretty sure that her just SEEING the $$ spent for her living expenses (even though dh and I were underwriting it 100% beyond scholarships) . . . has been invaluable financial training for her for her future.

WOW, how low can you go??? Really?? Katie's surgery and health care is not for you (or anyone!) to question or debate! WOW!! I'm really nauseous that someone would say this. And, FTR, yes, yes, yes, we, as a nation, should pay for someone's surgery so they can be as healthy and as whole as possible. Certainly, for a young, fertile woman, being able to healthily bear children is an integral part of her health. I am pretty certain that every one on this board can relate to that!! I know I sure can!!! Unless a procedure is purely cosmetic/vanity related (i.e., face lift, boob job, butt lift, etc, that are not directly related to reconstruction or functional/health issues) -- those should remain out of publicly financed medicine (as they already are left off of insurance, etc.) . . . but beyond that, IMHO, our nation can and SHOULD and MUST provide health care for all our citizens. I am constantly shocked that so many good hearted people, who love God, who love Jesus, who focus much of their lives on religion and doing right by their families and others . . . do not rise up together and demand that our nation do the right thing by our people with respect to providing health care for all. RISE UP!! Be the change!! Please, people, let's come together on this and make our nation a safe and healthy place for our children, and their children, to grow up and make their futures.

((((hugs)))) Personally, I think it's totally natural to be off-balance when you have so much going on!! You're growing a new life, and you're momma-ing your kids, and you got a new pup, and I'm sure you have lots of other responsibilities, too. It's totally normal to have a rough time balancing all that! And your hormones are out of whack!! My general advice when folks are facing high stress times like pregnancy or grief or other rough times . . . is just to minimize the demands you make on yourself. Get help with household duties, defer projects, go easy on yourself with meals/etc, take a vacation from your volunteer activities, accept every offer of help for ANYTHING . . . and take that extra time to get extra rest, take a bubble bath, watch a funny show, etc. Just be KIND to yourself. And to those who love you. When your kid drives you crazy, count to TEN, turn around and walk away . . . Bite your tongue. Acting too fast or too harshly will just leave you with more mess to clean up and angst to deal with. Walk away. Let it go. Let her watch too much TV. It's OK. This too shall pass. I'd definitely check with your health care team about the Benadryl. It's been a long time since I was pg, but it was on my no-no list back in the dark ages when I had my babies. :) (Then again, EVERYTHING was on my no no list!!) (((hugs))) SOON you will have an amazing little pink precious bundle of snuggles to enjoy . . . it'll all be worth it!

If this is a teen boy, or a preteen boy, I'd bet dollars to donuts that he's doing all sorts of bad things on the internet. I went through this with my boy . . . and I lived to regret giving up on parental controls. I would move the only computer your son is allowed to access into a public space. And I'd reinstall new parental controls. Or buy a new computer and hire a pro to set it up for you. Honestly. At any price! If I had it to do over again, I'd have gone computer-less before I'd let my young teens have unrestricted internet access. If he can't play minecraft, SO WHAT? And search his stuff, room, etc for vaping paraphernalia. It's very easy to hide vaping . . .And buy some nicotine urine test strips off Amazon, and test him. I lived to regret not being more aggressive on this topic, too. Girls waste time on the internet . . . Boys find trouble on the internet . . . at least in my house, lol. Just my 2c. Ignore it at your peril, however . . .

Could be . . . a married man . . . a rapist . . . some other "bad" person who is now in jail or otherwise gone and she doesn't want her kid associated with . . . a relative . . . her priest/pastor . . . some other professional who would be criminally or ethically exposed for having been involved with her . . . or some other unpleasant thing . . . Could have been a sperm donor, too. That definitely happens, both formally (at a clinic) and informally (a friend who agrees to impregnate but not be the dad). I'd just avoid bringing up the topic, for sure. If/when she wants to talk about it, you'll be there!

I grew up in Reston, VA (so, also NoVA), and we had a number of small residential lakes that sometimes froze well enough to skate/walk on . . . but, of course, other times, they were dangerous . . . At least once every couple years, some teenager died on a semi-frozen lake . . . We were trained early and carefully NEVER to go on frozen lakes/ponds unless someone who knew what they were doing had verified the ice was plenty thick enough . . . If I were you, and I saw what you saw, I'd be out there yelling at them to get off the pond and off your property . . . If the kids "belonged" to a neighborhood house, I'd march over and ring the bell and be sure the adults in the house knew what happened. If the kids resisted leaving, I'd call 911 in a heartbeat. I'd have my cell phone out the entire time, ready to call 911 if the kids resisted or there was a crisis. I'd be obnoxious and demanding and make the kids very reluctant to ever pull a repeat performance. Teens are stupid, but there's no reason to WATCH them do something that could kill them. Watching and waiting to call 911 is NOT responsible, IMHO. Once they go under the ice, it's very often too late to save them, even if someone is right there when it happens! Besides all the "right thing to do" . . . you own the pond . . . You could easily be hit with legal and financial liability if someone drowns out there . . .