Just briefly— I would lean strongly towards options closer to campus. He is more likely to find friends if he stays IN the university bubble. I grew up in the Chicago area and lived in the city itself in a terrible neighborhood for many years. I have close relatives who relocated from Chicago to Houston and who have been happy and comfortable in an apartment there for more than a decade. Don’t let the horror stories overwhelm—city culture is vibrant and human. The key is to join stuff (school or church or athletics or hobby) to get to know people.

How wretched! Praying.

They have really good food if you like seafood. I have kids in my class that find the word "juicy" more disturbing than "moist" so that seems an unfortunate name.

Praying for it to be passed soon and a wonderful safe pain-free/kidney stone-free trip.

They are the very best! Mine is under the covers snuggled up to my hip/leg as I type this.

Will there be any other interns that he could see about sharing an apartment with? I would reach out to the department and see if they know of anyone looking for a roommate or if they have a communication network on which a roommate request can be posted. Many universities will have some electronic bulletin board where those affiliated with the university (perhaps a grad student) can post things like this. Also, they may have some ideas of areas where previous interns have lived. If there isn't someone he kind find through a university or some other network with which he has an affiliation (sports interest, church, etc.) I would favor living alone than finding a random person to live with. Is the internship for any set length of time? That might impact the type of living situaiton to look for. Bad things can happen in Houston, just like any place else. But, many people go about their business day-to-day with no issues. My cousin has a condo near the University of Houston and has never had a problem. I have gone to a number of conferences and stayed in a number of hotels within 15 minutes of the campus and never had an issue. I don't want to live in that large of a city, but if I were going to Houston would be a city I would prefer. I would check and see what the traffic is actually like from the various apartments/condos. Is it 15 minutes of side streets? Or is it mostly highway driving? Does the commute vary greatly by time of day?

Oh I am so sorry. I hope you feel better soon. Do you have any thoughts on what causes yours? Is there anything that works for you normally? Migraines are horrible I am so sorry.

Well he is even cuter than I imagined! What an adorable little monster. I hope your nap was wonderful with him.

This is another thing that is rarely talked about. I'm not anti-pet, but we can't pretend that our billion+ companion animals (and their feral relatives) aren't putting yet more strain on the planet's resources.

Hopefully they can get her cultured and get an antibiotic sorted up. Heads up that typically after you have cellulitis 3x in a year they will usually suggest a low dose daily antibiotic. If she's not there yet, treating under her fingernails and her nasal passages with antibiotic cream + washing with Hibiclens surgical wash can help her try to clear her colonies. We had elderly family who had chronic cellulitis; it's so frustrating and so difficult to control. Hugs for her!

Yes. In Australia, we will continue to fill needed positions through immigration, which I don't think is a bad thing if it's done properly. Our current culture is a pretty rich mix of different backgrounds, and I think it leads to secularisation, because when you have such a mix, you can't privilege one religion over another - which again, I think is a good thing. On the other hand, I agree that we should be strengthening resources in people's own countries so they don't need to immigrate, because you lose so much - family, culture, language - when you leave. I wonder though whether people having fewer children leads to an increase or decrease in valuing children. You'd think that if they were rare, they'd be valued, right? But I don't know - I feel like often in the media parents are portrayed as selfish for even having kids, and selfish for wanting them out in public at all. On the other hand, pets seem to be filling that gap, and people are starting to bring pets into places they traditionally wouldn't (eg stores). There's a lot of complaints about vet care being so expensive (which it is!!) and I was imagining one day that the government would set up some kind of medicare for pets, where the whole population pays in so that people can take care of their five dogs. I mean, it isn't the fault of the dogs, right? Because it's the rich minority who do most of the damage, and who can still have kids (look at Elon Musk). Just 60 companies are the source of almost the entire world's plastic problem.

Ironically, despite eating my own food in my own house tonight....I am having an allergic reaction to a meal I've eaten lots of times. So dang frustrating.

@prairiewindmomma, I pray you feel better and can enjoy some of the weekend! My sister has cellulitis again and two oral antibiotics have failed. She is on a third and sees the infectious disease doctor on Monday. She was hospitalized a year ago with this after some unknown insect bite. It keeps coming back from the slightest scratches to her leg. She is scheduled for a vein procedure on Wednesday to try and help alleviate the bad pain she is having from a vein in her upper leg/groin area, and I am praying this won't delay it. Lunch with my friend was great! I went by campus and saw ds. I offered to bring a few things home since he moves home next week, so he sent some bulky items to make more room in his car. Daddy came down and took us to dinner, so it was nice to see him! We watched the newest episodes of Ghosts and We Were the Lucky Ones.

A program that worked well for my kids was I See Sam readers www.iseesam.com or www.beginningreadinginstruction.com

This is a good idea, and you don't have to wait until it is actually rush hour to check it. Ask Google maps to route you from the apartment to his office, then click the 3 dots by the start address. One of the options that's comes up on the list is "set depart or arrive time". You can choose and it will return estimated trip durations.

If possible I'd talk to people in the area(s) and see if the commute time is realistic during rush hour; if you can't talk to people, I'd check Google Maps during the rush hour to/from to check the times (mapping the route from the various addresses to his job) - around whatever times his start/end times are. that said, I'd also not focus on the horror stories. Yes, there's crime, but....also, there's a lot of not crime. It just doesn't make the news, ya know? If he can afford any of the options w/o a roommate, I'd just look at them and figure out which one you guys like best; I'd probably personally lean towards the 4th option just based on what you wrote here, but w/o seeing them, knowing what area of town, etc., it's just a guess. Encourage him to find a church family, or other social outlet, where he might meet like-minded people (whatever thing it is that will be a connection for him). That will help him settle in; most of all, relax (I know it's hard! Parent of a young adult, not yet launched, not dx'ed Aspie as well). Houston isn't as bad as the news sometimes makes it sound.

My son lived in Houston after college for his first (and only so far) job. He lived in three different apartments complexes, all gated. He never had any trouble at all. He didn’t have a roommate. Now, having said that we of course all know that Houston can be unsafe. But there is that…my son had no bad experiences. He was there for maybe five years or more. What about other interns? Could he arrange to room with another intern where he will be working? Yes, the intern will be a stranger, but an intern would very much likely be a safe bet for a roommate. There may be one hoping for a roommate situation just like your son. I think all of your living arrangements sound pretty safe…as safe as you can get for Houston. They sound pretty secure and in nicer areas. These are the types of areas where ds choose to live, and he did fine. He moved twice, to different apartment complexes. I’ve never asked him about this, but I did notice he always choose the upper floors instead of ground level. Not sure if it was for safety, but that’s what he did.

Housemates can be great for company and helping you transition to a new place. And they can be annoying people who are okay with mouse dirt all over the dishes and let their boyfriends eat your food. I live alone and it sucks, and I'd rather live alone than return to my house sharing with strangers days. Eventually you have to learn to detach because when they move out because there's nothing you can do to control anything. I'm saying that as an Aspie someone who has been empty nesting since my eldest Aspie was 9, so I am quite aware that that is easier said than done and takes a lot of practice.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/22/podcasts/the-daily/bird-flu.html

Actually, I was just doing some google searches, and the traditional pilrimages to Santiago de Compostela started from where ever people lived in Europe. The longest distance I can see is from Zagare, Lithuania, and the distance is 3262 km (approx 2026 miles, comparable to the Appalachian Trail). I had no idea that there were routes from many different countries (Ireland, England, Holland, Germany, Poland, Italy, Slovakia, Portugal, Malta, Switzerland), with France being the most common. You can definitely pick a distance/route that fits any timeline. (source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camino_de_Santiago_(route_descriptions)

Thanks!! I’m looking through all the suggestions.

My DS22 is graduating from college in two weeks 🥳, and he just landed a paid research internship at the University of Houston! Which is amazing, but to be very honest, I'm pretty anxious about him moving to the fourth largest city in the country alone. 😲 He lived at home for college to save money, and he's on the spectrum, so he was pretty comfortable having a safe home base and just gradually spreading his wings over the past four years. He's very high-functioning and responsible and has held a job for the past year, so I'm not super worried about him paying bills, getting to work on time, or things like that. But Houston appears to be a very, very urban city (and I've read the horror stories about car break-ins and muggings), and I'm just having trouble wrapping my brain around the concept of my sweet Aspie guy toughing it out in the big city without family or a group of friends. I've gotten very little sleep in the past few nights (less than three hours per night), as my brain is actively worrying and won't let me sleep. DS bought a brand new car (Toyota Corolla Hybrid) In January before he had any thought about applying for this internship, and we're all nervous about finding a safe parking situation. He was really hoping to find a roommate (safety in numbers + lower expenses), and if he could split the rent with someone, he could get potentially into a much nicer apartment complex with secured parking. (I've since learned that there may really be no such thing in Houston, as there has been a major increase in car vandalism, mostly in apartment parking lots and parking garages. Apparently they smash all the windows in with golf clubs, supposedly to search the cars for weapons. 😒) But we're striking out in finding a roommate of any kind, let alone one that might be a good fit for DS to live comfortably with. So that's my first question: would you encourage your child to continue pursuing a roommate in this scenario if it meant they might end up living with a complete stranger, or would you just help them find the safest solo living situation you could? And my other question: which of these scenarios seems like the safest (or best) choice to you? 1) Living in an apartment (1 bed/1 bath) in a community that's known to be safe with a gated entrance (but one where the reviews say that the gate is often broken or left open by the residents). These apartments are a moderate distance away from the university (16 minute commute), and there would be many other residents living on the property (300+), so there could be an element of safety in numbers? 2) Living in a slightly less expensive, privately-owned condo (2 bed/ 2 bath) in a similarly safe neighborhood but with no security gate—gambling on the idea that a smaller community is less likely to be targeted by these individuals. This condo is farther away (22 minute commute). There would be three other residents on the property. This is the only scenario where a roommate might be able to be added to share the space/expenses , but that would be up to the landlord. 3) Living in a more expensive condo (1 bed/ 1 bath) in a similarly safe neighborhood with a private parking garage. This condo is the closest to the university (less than 15 minute commute). There would be eight other residents on the property. 4) Living in a similarly (to choice two) priced condo in a similarly safe neighborhood with a gated entrance with a security guard. This condo is around a 16 minute commute to the university, and there would be a moderate number of residents on the property (probably 50-80). We haven't seen any of these in person yet, but they all look like good possible prospects, and we will be going down to Houston next weekend to see them. (There is the possibility that we could go this Sunday if we needed to view something sooner, but we'd have to do the drive there and back (so at least 9 hours) in one day, with just a couple of hours to view places. And we couldn't see the apartment, because they're closed on Sundays.) DS is very much on board with us helping him make this decision. Can you help me think this through, and do you have any words of wisdom for me on how to frame this situation in my mind so that I can get some much needed sleep?

Lexapro was horrible for me. Just FYI. A different med helped in the short term. Therapy. Not helpful at all. They just listened to me talk for an hour.

Ridiculous amounts of sugar-free lemonade because I can't stand plain water (I know, I know...) No luck yet! It may be a long night. Thanks so much for your prayers and good thoughts. Love you all.

The other piece to this puzzle is aside from aging, what percentage of the population is healthy and well enough to keep things running. I know percentage of long term sick has increased a lot in UK since Covid, I think we’ve been somewhat shielded from those effects in Australia. But we still have an increase in disability etc over the last few years from various factors