Parrothead Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I just wanted to start the 11th page of the poot-poot thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I'll share a pregnancy story on the subject of fa@ting. When I was pregnant I was in the store shopping for baby clothes. While standing in line a silent one came out that was pretty strong, if you know what I mean. A little boy of about the age of 4 or so was nearby and said in a loud voice to his Mom "Mommy, that lady (while he was glaring at me) just pooped her pants." I suppose it was a good thing that I don't embarrass easily. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Isn't it a wonder that Susan Wise Bauer even puts up with us ? :lol::lol: I bet she doesn't read this thread. :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 words for fart A family I know is so repulsed by the word FART they replace it with the word ---- wait for it ------------ you really will not believe this -------------- b/c it is just so wrong --------------------- FARK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leah Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 This is priceless! This whole thread is too funny. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 words for fartA family I know is so repulsed by the word FART they replace it with the word ---- wait for it ------------ you really will not believe this -------------- b/c it is just so wrong --------------------- FARK Well, I certainly hope they caught on to why that was a bad idea and stopped using it as a replacement word. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 FARK! Oh boy oh boy they must be really sheltered to thing that that is a good replacement world ROFL!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I think giving anyone a look and expecting them to respond is playing games. welll, I disagree that it is "playing games" -- it's just one of many training techniques that MANY kids [who have been brought up w/ such a technique] are aware of. It is a quiet way to alert a child of appropriate age to correct themselves instead of vocally/publicly humiliating them into correction. ;) So i guess it depends on how you want to "play games" -- w/ either direct correction [giving them no opportunity to consider on their own the appropriate response], or indirect correction [which gives them some independence in practicing their responses to situations]. i can see pros and cons of both methods, and have used both methods depending on the child, age, and circumstance. all that being said, farts just don't bother us either. Comments to lighten the mood are welcome. BUT-- if you have the no-farting rule, then i think your action was absolutely spot on. i can't access the euphemisms that were collected on the Old Board, but here's a list of them for you: enjoy :) http://www.goofball.com/fart_list 1. Anal Salute 2. Beep your horn 3. Blast the chair 4. Blat 5. Blow Mud 6. Blow the big brown horn 7. Bottom blast 8. Bottom burp 9. Break wind 10. Butt burp 11. Butt trumpet 12. Butt tuba 13. Buttock bassoon 14. Cut a stinker 15. Cut the cheese 16. Cut the wind 17. Drop a bomb 18. Fart 19. Flatulate 20. Flatulence 21. Float an air biscuit 22. Funky rollers 23. Gaseous intestinal by-products 24. HUMrrhoids 25. Honk 26. Let a Beefer 27. Let each little bean be heard 28. Mating call of the barking spider 29. Mexican jet propulsion 30. One-gun salute 31. Pass gas 32. Pass wind 33. Poot 34. Puff, the Magic Dragon! 35. Rebuild the ozone layer one poof at a time 36. Rectal honk 37. Rectal shout 38. Ripple Fart 39. Shoot the cannon 40. Singe the [noun] (e.g. carpet) 41. Step on a duck 42. The colonic calliope 43. The gluteal tuba 44. Toot your own horn 45. Trouser cough 46. Trouser trumpet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I can't say any of it would have bothered me. Fart humour is common at our table. Whatever it takes for family enjoyment I say. We all would have laughed. However if you had guests that would be a different matter, but I daresay he wouldn't have done it.I think asking someone to eat in the bathroom is gross. I was beginning to think I was the only one.;) This just would not be any sort of issue at all in my house. I would have just reminded the offender that's it's not polite to make the comment and the meal would just gone on as before. Wow! I have never even considered this. How on earth did you train him not to do it in his sleep? :lol:Exactly!! Heather, I just can't imagine your success. I don't think it's possible around here but I marvel at your ability!;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
songbirdie Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Perfect! He'll never forget it! Good job! .... Did this humiliate your ds? If so (and I know it would our dc), I personally can't parent that way. You might "make your point" but at what cost? I think there are better ways is all. Share some better ways with us. I don't mean it sarcastically. . .I'd actually like to hear some better ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I have been thinking about this thread. I am amazed that people don't allow themselves or their children to use the word "fart" , as if it is an offensive swear word. How can that be? It is a word that describes a bodily function that is natural and very ordinary, if sometimes offensive smelling and often better done in private just so as not to offend the nostrils of others! An act of courtesy, if you will, but not an act of morality, surely! I am surprised that people would taboo a word like that. Banning the use of a word, and therefore any discussion of a bodily function seems to me to be.....kind of Victorian or something. Like a kind of repression. I don't see the practical or even ethical function of such a ban. Surely a sense of humour is a better way to go. Even the OP punished and shamed her son, who was enjoying his body, while posting a thread here and in the subject line wrote "LOL". Isn't that a double standard? I am just musing, not taking it all too seriously, but I just see a strange set of behaviours- children and men who are actually enjoying their bodies and having a sense of humour around farting, and a set of women who decide to get offended by it. Is it that bad? Couldnt the world do with a bit more laughter and a bit less rigid morals about things that ultimalty dont matter? Why do we get hung up over things that really dont hurt anyone? Farts dont hurt anyone. In fact, they are a good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I have been thinking about this thread. I am amazed that people don't allow themselves or their children to use the word "fart" , as if it is an offensive swear word. How can that be? It is a word that describes a bodily function that is natural and very ordinary, if sometimes offensive smelling and often better done in private just so as not to offend the nostrils of others! An act of courtesy, if you will, but not an act of morality, surely! I am surprised that people would taboo a word like that. Banning the use of a word, and therefore any discussion of a bodily function seems to me to be.....kind of Victorian or something. Like a kind of repression. I don't see the practical or even ethical function of such a ban. Surely a sense of humour is a better way to go. Even the OP punished and shamed her son, who was enjoying his body, while posting a thread here and in the subject line wrote "LOL". Isn't that a double standard? I am just musing, not taking it all too seriously, but I just see a strange set of behaviours- children and men who are actually enjoying their bodies and having a sense of humour around farting, and a set of women who decide to get offended by it. Is it that bad? Couldnt the world do with a bit more laughter and a bit less rigid morals about things that ultimalty dont matter? Why do we get hung up over things that really dont hurt anyone? Farts dont hurt anyone. In fact, they are a good thing. I was one who wrote that that 'word' was not used in my house growing up. To this day, I have a problem using that word. Fart. There, I wrote it. Not that we don't do it. We do, and it's absolutely no big deal. We joke about it. Even growing up, the act of farting was fine, it was just the word that was considered crude and not refined. So, here I am, with this hang up. And, by the way, I'm the only one in my family now that has a problem with the word. My dh and kids are just fine with it. But, to humor mom, we flewff. Pretty crazy, huh. Threads like this make me realize I haven't shed all my old hang ups. You're right: farts don't hurt anyone, and certainly something the body needs to do. My dh has gotten the biggest laugh out of this thread. He's just shaking his head. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 My DS (6) did this same thing at the table last night - DD (7) told him "You'd better watch out or Mom will make you eat dinner out in the dog yard." I almost laughed my head off since we'd never had an occasion to discuss an offense like that. This board thread was also never discussed. Obviously I love the OP's idea and clearly my kids have learned that grossness begets more clever grossness in our house. We had a good laugh over it and it's unlikely the kids will do it at the table again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 To this day, I have a problem using that word. Fart. There, I wrote it. ..... So, here I am, with this hang up. And, by the way, I'm the only one in my family now that has a problem with the word. .... But, to humor mom, we flewff. Pretty crazy, huh. Threads like this make me realize I haven't shed all my old hang ups. :) I believe we are each entitled to one irrational....fear/ hangup/ whatever. mine is those nasty huge waterbug roaches. i scream like a girl at the mere sight of them and run like crazy. it's pathetic, really. i can't even kill them. i have to get roach spray, aim blindly w/ my eyes closed from a ridiculous distance, and and spray futilely. yours is the word f@rt. i think we're even ;) :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 :) I believe we are each entitled to one irrational....fear/ hangup/ whatever. mine is those nasty huge waterbug roaches. i scream like a girl at the mere sight of them and run like crazy. it's pathetic, really. i can't even kill them. i have to get roach spray, aim blindly w/ my eyes closed from a ridiculous distance, and and spray futilely. yours is the word f@rt. i think we're even ;) :grouphug: And my ds, 8, who is uber-sensitive, cannot understand why I was so scared of spiders when I was little. Even now, although I'm good with little ones and can calmly watch a good sized one in a web outside, got nervous when I saw a wolf spider in the guest room at my parents' house last August, and had to remove it before I could go to sleep. Even though I know that there are no poisonous spiders there and I don't even know if they bite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 children and men who are actually enjoying their bodies and having a sense of humour around farting, and a set of women who decide to get offended by it. Is it that bad? Couldnt the world do with a bit more laughter and a bit less rigid morals about things that ultimalty dont matter? Why do we get hung up over things that really dont hurt anyone? Farts dont hurt anyone. In fact, they are a good thing. If the the smell didn't make me so sick, I'd agree with you. But that smell frequently gets me retching. Not mine, of course ;). It's the smell of others' farts that gives me the hang-up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 (edited) A wolf spider? OMG! I have only seen one of those in my life and it was on my driveway. It was so big that I felt strange just stepping on it. I ended up taking a huge piece of plywood and letting it fall down over top of the spider and then jumping on the plywood. I screamed the entire time I was doing it too...like a little girl. When it was over, I would not even pick up the plywood. I made dh do it when he got home. You should have SEEN the mess that spider made. OMG...I get sick just recalling that incident. Then there was the time I got my son to the doctor on to find a BLACK WIDOW hanging upside down in her web on his STROLLER in my trunk! I called dh who was an hour away at work at the time and made him come and kill it and then drive my car for a week because I was terrified that there were more and they would crawl into the back seat and kill the kids. :( Edited March 17, 2009 by Tree House Academy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 Remember that scene in Blazing Saddles? The cowboys around the fire after they ate their beans? I probably wouldn't laugh now, but at that time I laughed so hard... I laugh now. ;) I LOVE Blazing Saddles. I have seen it at least 300 times, but I find something new and hilarious each time I watch it! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I have been thinking about this thread. I am amazed that people don't allow themselves or their children to use the word "fart" , as if it is an offensive swear word. Peela, I agree that it's not a big deal. But I think that maybe it's a cultural thing. When I was brought up, my mother tried to avoid the use of any slang terms for bodily functions. So yup, as a 3 year old I would go tell her I had to urinate. People couldn't believe it. Anyway, we were also taught to refer to "farting" as "passing gas." "Fart" was considered to be crass. My husband wasn't really raised that way, and he uses the term "fart" more often than not. Our children do use that word, although I have also taught them to refer to it as passing gas. Oh well. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 i can't access the euphemisms that were collected on the Old Board, but here's a list of them for you: enjoy :) I have one! Hydraulic lift. As in the big fat 9 months pregnant lady got a hydraulic lift as she was getting out of her chair or bed.:lol: A semi-autobiographical example.;) If the the smell didn't make me so sick, I'd agree with you. But that smell frequently gets me retching. Not mine, of course ;). It's the smell of others' farts that gives me the hang-up. My dh says true love is when one of us toots and the other just notes the that the air smells of roses. possibly rotted and decaying, but it's the sentiment that counts. This entire thread is absolutely hilarious.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Instead of "fart" perhaps the use of the word "flatulence" instead? The use of "passing gas" procures visions rather of gasoline flowing from the rectum,kwim?! OP's son could have said: "Ah, nothing like some good flatulence in the afternoon." Kat who is also enjoying this thread much more than she should I expect Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtb1999 Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 A wolf spider? OMG! I have only seen one of those in my life and it was on my driveway. It was so big that I felt strange just stepping on it. I ended up taking a huge piece of plywood and letting it fall down over top of the spider and then jumping on the plywood. I screamed the entire time I was doing it too...like a little girl. When it was over, I would not even pick up the plywood. I made dh do it when he got home. You should have SEEN the mess that spider made. OMG...I get sick just recalling that incident. We used to have the occasional wolf spider in our old house. One time, I was walking past ds's bedroom where my dh was sitting on the bed, and noticed a huge wolf spider on the wall above the bed! It was bad. everybody was screaming, dh screamed for a broom, I was running around like a chicken with it's head chopped off screaming, "Broom!". Total chaos followed. He killed it, finally. It didn't want to die the first time he whacked it with the broom. :glare: No one wanted to even go in that room for quite a while. :o Then, a few weeks later, I found that spider's mother in the kid's bathroom. (It was actually bigger than the one in the bedroom, so I refer to it as the mother spider when telling my spider story.) I screamed, and screamed some more. I gathered up the courage to whack it to death with a shoe. Then I left it there till dh got home so he could dispose of the remains. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 We used to have the occasional wolf spider in our old house. One time, I was walking past ds's bedroom where my dh was sitting on the bed, and noticed a huge wolf spider on the wall above the bed! It was bad. everybody was screaming, dh screamed for a broom, I was running around like a chicken with it's head chopped off screaming, "Broom!". Total chaos followed. He killed it, finally. It didn't want to die the first time he whacked it with the broom. :glare: No one wanted to even go in that room for quite a while. :o Then, a few weeks later, I found that spider's mother in the kid's bathroom. (It was actually bigger than the one in the bedroom, so I refer to it as the mother spider when telling my spider story.) I screamed, and screamed some more. I gathered up the courage to whack it to death with a shoe. Then I left it there till dh got home so he could dispose of the remains. :tongue_smilie: Awwwww.....poor little spider. :(. In our house we even take brown recluses outside. Wolf spiders, jumping spiders....those won't even hurt you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Awwwww.....poor little spider. :(. In our house we even take brown recluses outside. Wolf spiders, jumping spiders....those won't even hurt you! This would be my son. He loves to play with the jumping spiders; thinks they have a lot of personality. Then he lovingly carries said spider outside. Ugh. Me: I'm the one screaming and running around yelling, "Kill it! Kill it!" My favorite weapon-of-choice for the killing of spiders is the vacuum cleaner; it's quick, efficient, leaves no mess, I don't have to climb up on chairs to reach them AND I don't have to worry that it will somehow get away and come after me. I worry about that using shoes/slippers. I absolutely refuse to use tissues! However, I've been know to grab whatever is within reach when in desperate straights. :tongue_smilie: Kat wondering what spiders have to do with farts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 wondering what spiders have to do with farts? :lol: Why, whatever do you mean? Surely you see the connection. LOL I think a wolf spider would easily clog a vacuum cleaner of normal size. UGH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 Look into my eyes.... (Ewwww ewwwwww ewwwww) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Put a warning on that, willya? I'm going to have nightmares! :tongue_smilie::D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Put a warning on that, willya? I'm going to have nightmares! :tongue_smilie::D My sentiments exactly! And, that little baby spider in the palm of the hand.....no probs for my vacuum. I sucked up a garden spider that was the size of my entire hand before! (and had nightmares for months that it came crawling back out.....) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 :lol: Why, whatever do you mean? Surely you see the connection. LOL Oh,.....um......yeah, sure.....I see now......:confused: It's so obvious! How could I have missed it before. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 You know whats funny about those spiders. Someone said they couldn't move to Australia because of the spiders. But your's are worse!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Me: I'm the one screaming and running around yelling, "Kill it! Kill it!" My favorite weapon-of-choice for the killing of spiders is the vacuum cleaner; it's quick, efficient, leaves no mess, I don't have to climb up on chairs to reach them AND I don't have to worry that it will somehow get away and come after me. I worry about that using shoes/slippers. I absolutely refuse to use tissues! However, I've been know to grab whatever is within reach when in desperate straights. :tongue_smilie: Kat wondering what spiders have to do with farts? I cannot tell my ds if I kill a spider, or he gets very upset. Spiders have to do with farts what elephants have to do with dust. Nothing. BACK to the subject at hand, I was telling dh about this thread and that apparently many men and boys enjoy farts and he said. "Ah, the toothless wonder speaks." Now that definitely has to do with farts. And if you were to meet him, he appears so quiet, gentle and refined... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Sherry Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Here is a bit of "passing gas" trivia for you. I read that in Japan there are underware available that have been made to filter flatulence. These are sometimes worn by business men to prevent themselves from being embarrassed in business situations. Sorry, I didn't find the article to link it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtb1999 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Here is a bit of "passing gas" trivia for you.I read that in Japan there are underware available that have been made to filter flatulence. These are sometimes worn by business men to prevent themselves from being embarrassed in business situations. Sorry, I didn't find the article to link it. Yes, but do they filter the smell and sound? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Probably not. Guess you have to squeeze it out slowly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtb1999 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Probably not. Guess you have to squeeze it out slowly. :lol: Or do a vice grip and hope that if it slips out, it's quick and silent. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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