HomeAgain Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 Say you were making a gift for someone, and it's supposed to be worn with pride and a winning attitude. Unfortunately, the outcome is that the quote you put on it really signifies a substantial loss. Would you want to know before you give it to the person? What if you didn't like the person who might be the only one to say it? Or is it on you to understand the context of the quote? I'm torn between being put off by the inappropriateness of this gift and being interested in how it is received if nobody speaks up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw4321 Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 I’m having trouble following. 15 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 I’m not following either. Is this something you are making to gift to someone you know? Or something you were asked to make for someone else to gift to another person? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 (edited) Maybe drop a hint to the maker, like, "Oh, did you enjoy [book/movie/song quote came from]?" Or, "Oh, I read this great book about [historical event/person being quoted]--it was called [title]." If interested, maker can look into it. Edited March 9, 2023 by 73349 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted March 9, 2023 Author Share Posted March 9, 2023 Apologies. This is something someone else is making. The quote she used is pretty inappropriate for the situation. The kids are going to a tournament they hope to win. The quote for the coach's hat, is "Talk to me, Goose!" From Top Gun. The problem is, about half the parents on the team were born after the movie, and they have no idea that the one time the coach said it, it was in reference to a large loss the kids faced, how devastated they were, and helping them to learn to come back from it. I don't think they've ever seen the movie or know what it's about beyond fighter planes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 So I'm guessing it's this type scenario (hard to tell): OP discovered that Person A is making a gift with words which, unknown to Person A, is likely to hurt the recipient. OP could give Person A a heads up before the gift is given, but Person A dislikes OP and that might affect how Person A hears OP's heads-up. I think that it if it's a really hurtful quote for the recipient, it would be right to tell Person A. Maybe like: "what a cute saying. Only thing, it might touch a nerve since ___ recently happened to Recipient." Then it's on Person A to decide what to do. wou If Person A decides to give the gift anyway, I would say nothing / only say something positive like "what a pretty color." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 I would want to know and would gently share my concerns with the giver. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 Oh I wouldn’t consider this a big deal assuming this is something the coach would appreciate. The coach can explain context to the team. I also googled this expression and what comes up is reference to is … At the end of the film, Maverick has to decide whether to run from an aerial dogfight or engage the enemy. He has kept Gooses's dogtags and grasps them saying, "Talk to me, Goose." Maverick finds the courage to engage the enemy, and saves the day. i mean it’s not hard to find the root of it. People can choose to be offended or not. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 I mean one of the biggest movies of the year was a sequel to the first, and many families watched the old one together. I would not assume or say anything. It might be different if it referenced the death of someone on the team or a family member of the team members. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted March 9, 2023 Author Share Posted March 9, 2023 2 minutes ago, Katy said: I mean one of the biggest movies of the year was a sequel to the first, and many families watched the old one together. I would not assume or say anything. It might be different if it referenced the death of someone on the team or a family member of the team members. To the second, it does not. To the first, I know it has not been watched. That much has been admitted. I don't have a lot of kind feelings about the person making the gift and I'm more apt to be blunt than focusing on being nice. But I can put a bug in the ear of someone a bit closer to them who is nicer. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 Now that I've seen the further explanation, I wouldn't worry too much about this. If the t-shirts haven't already been ordered, I'd just let the person know that there was an unfortunate reference to that line in the past. Otherwise, I'd just explain the meaning when the shirts are given out. I thought this was going to be about someone having died or something. An unfortunate sports memory shouldn't damage anyone. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 Honestly I don't think it's a big deal. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 So you are associated with a team, and another person associated with the team is making a hat for the coach, and you believe the quote that is going on the hat is inappropriate? If I have that right... is the hat a gift from the entire team, or just this person? If it's from the entire team, then the team and/or parents should have input on the quote that's going on the hat. I wouldn't want an inappropriate quote on a gift that I've contributed to. If the hat is a gift from the individual who is making it, then... I wouldn't involve myself. All that said, I'm not sure this is that big a deal. If the coach doesn't get the reference, he can ask the giver, or look it up? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 I'm confused by three things. One is that you seem to think of Top Gun as some movie that's so far in the past that no one has heard of it, but the new Top Gun came out a year or two ago. So, I think most people have heard of Top Gun. But, I also think that the only thing that matters is whether the person receiving the gift has heard of it, which if he's quoting it he probably has. The second is that it seems like maybe the coach used the quote when talking to the kids to bolster their spirits after a difficult loss on the sporting field. Is that correct? If so, that seems really appropriate to put on a hat, because it signifies the coach doing a good job in a tough situation. The third is whether you mean that this person it's being given to doesn't like Tom Cruise, or they don't like the character of Maverick, or that you don't like the coach who said it and is presumably the one giving the gift? 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 I’ve seen both movies very recently. I don’t think a hat or shirt with this phrase is problematic. Even if the coach said it after a loss to bolster spirits, I imagine it’s more like an inside “joke” between the kids and the coach. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted March 9, 2023 Author Share Posted March 9, 2023 2 hours ago, BandH said: I'm confused by three things. One is that you seem to think of Top Gun as some movie that's so far in the past that no one has heard of it, but the new Top Gun came out a year or two ago. So, I think most people have heard of Top Gun. But, I also think that the only thing that matters is whether the person receiving the gift has heard of it, which if he's quoting it he probably has. The second is that it seems like maybe the coach used the quote when talking to the kids to bolster their spirits after a difficult loss on the sporting field. Is that correct? If so, that seems really appropriate to put on a hat, because it signifies the coach doing a good job in a tough situation. The third is whether you mean that this person it's being given to doesn't like Tom Cruise, or they don't like the character of Maverick, or that you don't like the coach who said it and is presumably the one giving the gift? To answer: 1. Oh, no, I'm sure many have watched the movie. Not in this group. 2. The hat is for him to wear at a tournament, where they hope to win. 3. The hat is being given to the coach as a pre-game gift so he can wear it all over the arena. 2 hours ago, Rachel said: I imagine it’s more like an inside “joke” between the kids and the coach. It's really not. It was more like in an email from the coach to the parents, because he knew how hard that loss was for the kids (a season record flushed away in the last two seconds). The kids have no clue, the parents admit they know nothing more than the quote referenced and haven't seen the context. You all are right, though, and I just won't say a word. It's not my monkey, but I just didn't want to see anyone embarrassed when they put 2 & 2 together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danae Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 1 hour ago, HomeAgain said: You all are right, though, and I just won't say a word. It's not my monkey, but I just didn't want to see anyone embarrassed when they put 2 & 2 together. I’m still not seeing what you think would be embarrassing. After a big loss the coach made a movie reference about triumphing after a big loss and someone wants to include that reference on a hat he would wear at the upcoming tournament. Which they’re hoping will be a triumph after their previous loss. It sounds like you’re putting 2 & 2 together and getting negative 4. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted March 9, 2023 Author Share Posted March 9, 2023 4 minutes ago, Danae said: I’m still not seeing what you think would be embarrassing. After a big loss the coach made a movie reference about triumphing after a big loss and someone wants to include that reference on a hat he would wear at the upcoming tournament. Which they’re hoping will be a triumph after their previous loss. It sounds like you’re putting 2 & 2 together and getting negative 4. It's not exactly customary to walk into a competition with the assumption that you will lose big. Focusing on losing seems..........odd, at best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 "Remember the Alamo!" Let's name our stadium where we hope our team will win "The Alamodome".... People do not always use quotes to reference a similar situation or in the same context. This sounds like one of those situations and not really something that I would consider inappropriate or harmful to someone. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 27 minutes ago, HomeAgain said: It's not exactly customary to walk into a competition with the assumption that you will lose big. Focusing on losing seems..........odd, at best. I don't see the quote as focusing on losing. I genuinely don't think many people would see it as focusing on losing, given the context you have shared. It's more about courage going forward. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 I don’t understand. If the coach doesn’t want to wear the hat, he doesn’t have to. He can thank the person for the gift and use it or not as he wants. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted March 9, 2023 Share Posted March 9, 2023 If anyone is thinking this hard over a movie quote in relation to a kid's sporting event, I'd think that no one is going to quite be able to guild the world to their standards anyway. Even as a parent of a kid that has had no shortage of disappointment in extracurriculars. If I didn't get it and didn't have the bandwidth to look it up, I can't imagine holding onto it. I wouldn't use the word devastating in relation to youth team sports unless someone was critically injured during an event or something. I just really don't see the big deal at all. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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