Coaches Xmas gift?

[school17777]

Do your teams typically give the coaches a Christmas gift?  The team mom is asking each player for a minimum of $10 towards the gift.  I’m sure she’ll be asking for the same (or more)for the end of season gift.  I was the team mom in the past and never gave a team gift at Christmas, hence why I wasn’t asked to be the team mom for this year. 
 

This is on top of a required fundraiser due two weeks ago, tumbling fees unexpectedly going up $4 a class this month, and a required basket “donation” and paid tickets for the season showcase.  All of this is within a month and unexpected.

 

[Drama Llama]

Paid or volunteer?

[footballmom]

I personally haven’t experienced giving a coach’s gift for the holidays and my kids have done rec, travel and school sports.  

Do you want to contribute?  Is the money needed for something else right now? You are under no obligation to contribute and can let the team mom know “thanks for organizing, but we aren’t able to do this right now.” or “we’ve already picked up something for coach” and you could gift something you are able to do like a home baked good, etc (doing our own thing has happened when we’ve already gotten teacher gifts and then a room mom tries to organize the day before and we truly have something else).  

[matrips]

We’ve always just done end of season gifts/money

[HS Mom in NC]

No. We haven't done gifts for coaches/trainers/masters/instructors as individuals or as a group.

[Sneezyone]

2 hours ago, school17777 said:

Do your teams typically give the coaches a Christmas gift?  The team mom is asking each player for a minimum of $10 towards the gift.  I’m sure she’ll be asking for the same (or more)for the end of season gift.  I was the team mom in the past and never gave a team gift at Christmas, hence why I wasn’t asked to be the team mom for this year. 
 

This is on top of a required fundraiser due two weeks ago, tumbling fees unexpectedly going up $4 a class this month, and a required basket “donation” and paid tickets for the season showcase.  All of this is within a month and unexpected.

 

Not in public school or rec. In competitive/team gymnastics, the parents got together and gave the coaches high-dollar gift cards for the holidays. It was $300 for each junior coach and $500 for the senior coach but this was Hawaii, 6 years ago. The total per family was around $40/$50. It was worth every dime. They did all they could to keep costs affordable for families during the year and the coaching fees (given the quality of the training) were negligible.

Edited December 3, 2021 by Sneezyone

[MEmama]

We’ve never done anything for coaches for the holidays, but last year I organized nice gifts from the seniors at the end of the season. The seniors had been with the same coaches in one capacity or another for 10 or so years, all through rec league, middle school and then high school. They were true mentors and meant the world to us and the outgoing class. 
 

I think it’s fine to let the organizer you won’t be participating, no need to give a reason. 

Edited December 3, 2021 by MEmama

[school17777]

10 hours ago, Baseballandhockey said:

Paid or volunteer?

Volunteer 

[gstharr]

For private coaches and tutors , it has been a decent bottle of wine ($20).  We chip in with other families on a gift card for group coaches. Nothing for school coaches. This year I am off the hook.  Kid just broke his ankle and won't be doing any activiies until Juanuary.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

As a past coach and current tennis instructor(low pay, trying to begin a new program), I would have appreciated a small gift, like a gift card to Starbucks or Amazon. Christmas cards with handwritten notes (like a favorite memory) would be welcomed. Something small like that to know I was appreciated would be heartwarming. I would have felt awkward receiving $300-500; it would change the dynamic of the relationship between me, my athletes, and the athletes' families. Also, if it is a gift (and not a monetary gift), I don't know if I would like that. Unless my athletes and their families knew me really well and would get something I would like and could use, well, I just don't want kitsch to fill my office or home.

[AngieC]

We have always given coaches a gift, both private and high school.  Most of these people work very hard and are relatively underpaid so I always wanted them to know we appreciated their time and dedication.  Some people did a group gift, others nothing at all, so I think you will find it runs the gammut.

[TechWife]

I don't recall ever doing that. I may have just blocked it from my memory, though. I am against group gifts where there is 1) an expectation of participation and 2) a minimum amount. I especially don't like it when the person being given the gift is in a paid positions. I make an exception for  public school teachers who are notoriously underpaid for their primary source of income, although there still shouldn't be an expectation or minimum.

[Ailaena]

I hated doing that when dd was younger, but now I don’t mind too much.  I have $10 nowadays and I like our coaches - they dedicate a fair amount of time and mental energy to coaching - especially when they’re volunteer.

Your coach doesn’t receive direct money from the fundraiser, raise in tuition, or end-of-year events, so I wouldn’t generally blame the coach for those things, even if they’re required.  

[QueenCat]

For Christmas, it was more the norm for individuals to give a gift to coaches, Scout leaders, etc. End of year/season gifts were usually group gifts. 

[Selkie]

I would definitely give a gift to a volunteer coach. Having been a volunteer coach several times over the years, I can tell you that it is a mostly thankless task that involves lots of dealing with difficult parents (not to mention kids). So if they are a good coach, I would definitely make the effort to show appreciation.

[Clarita]

I gave a gift to my kid's volunteer tee-ball coach. It was a gift certificate to a nice dinner at a restaurant (we really like the coach), there was no mandatory gift from our team though. It was in the springtime so only one gift at the end of the season. 

I'd just do it not to be the odd person out. If I were in the position of controlling these things I may do just an end of season present (if we were in a well-to-do area). We don't do little league in a well-to-do area so if I were in control I would do a little card and a free contribute (if you want to and as much and little as you want; all confidential). 

[catz]

I think it's nice.  I try to remember to gift our favorite teachers, coaches, etc at the holidays.  Especially those that are volunteers or are paid minimally for what they are doing (our co-op teachers come to mind for that).  A lot of times I'd do like coffee gift cards with something handmade.  But I contribute to group gifts too if they come up. 

I've done a lot of volunteer work over the years and it is pretty thankless.  It does warm the cockles of my hearts when someone sends a card, maybe a little gift, or whatever.

I personally don't really like that wording requiring a certain amount if it was phrased that way.  When I've been in charge of group gifts, I requests donations diplomatically if people want to give them.  Not everyone has the same funds.  Some people may want to gift on their own.   And then choose a gift from what I get donated.  It is a bit obnoxious to send out  "I expect a minimum of X from each player" IMO. 

That said, if that financially doesn't work for you or you aren't a holiday person, it's fine to bow out.  

Edited December 3, 2021 by FuzzyCatz

[school17777]

3 hours ago, QueenCat said:

For Christmas, it was more the norm for individuals to give a gift to coaches, Scout leaders, etc. End of year/season gifts were usually group gifts. 

This has been my experience.  This is a first to be expected to give $10 towards a Christmas gift.

In a survey from the past season, parents wanted the player to player $10 gift exchange dropped for various reasons and now the gift exchange was replaced with a Xmas sock exchange and a $10 minimum Coach gift “donation”.  Still processing how I feel about it.