Just one kid.

[Carrie12345]

Please don’t criticize me, lol.

I’ve come to a stage of life where I am more frequently alone with just one kid (10).  And I find I no longer naturally know what to do with just one kid!  It’s been more than 19 years since I’ve had this much time with just one kid, and that was just a baby/toddler/preschooler!  I am so out of practice.

We’ve watched a couple of movies and some YouTube clips together.  We’ve cooked a few things together.  We could do some games, but he’s not as into 2-player board games as my 14yo, and he’s definitely not into the kinds of video games I used to play with the 3 oldest. I’ve tried so hard to get into Minecraft and Roblox, but it just doesn’t click for me.  We do both like puzzles, so I think we’ll start one on Tuesday, but it gets frustrating because we don’t have much space to keep puzzles open. (We will in the future!)

I feel like a total dunce.
What do/did you do with your 10yo?

[Katy]

1 minute ago, Carrie12345 said:

Please don’t criticize me, lol.

I’ve come to a stage of life where I am more frequently alone with just one kid (10).  And I find I no longer naturally know what to do with just one kid!  It’s been more than 19 years since I’ve had this much time with just one kid, and that was just a baby/toddler/preschooler!  I am so out of practice.

We’ve watched a couple of movies and some YouTube clips together.  We’ve cooked a few things together.  We could do some games, but he’s not as into 2-player board games as my 14yo, and he’s definitely not into the kinds of video games I used to play with the 3 oldest. I’ve tried so hard to get into Minecraft and Roblox, but it just doesn’t click for me.  We do both like puzzles, so I think we’ll start one on Tuesday, but it gets frustrating because we don’t have much space to keep puzzles open. (We will in the future!)

I feel like a total dunce.
What do/did you do with your 10yo?

So much depends on his personality.  What does he want to do?  At 10 i wanted to spend every afternoon at the community pool with friends.

[mommyoffive]

28 minutes ago, Katy said:

So much depends on his personality.  What does he want to do?  At 10 i wanted to spend every afternoon at the community pool with friends.

Yeah I agree.  It would depend on the kid.  

Mine pretty much want to do anything as long as they are doing it with one of us.  But also they like to be on their own reading or building legos. 

Walk, bike ride, hike

Crafts

Home project

Games- we don't play video or board games much at all in our family.  But sometimes chess or checkers

Movie or tv show

Go out on a date for ice cream

Garden

Go see shows (musicals, ballets, operas)

Museums 

Any fun activity, so much cheaper with one kid.  Waterpark, amusement park, ropes course

tennis, golf, swimming

Canoe or Kaykaing?

Geocache 

Beach

Baseball (or other sports) game

Volunteer work

Painting together.   My kids love Painting with a Purpose on Youtube, but others like Bob  Ross

Drawing

Building something from scratch 

Go to the library

Edited June 12, 2021 by mommyoffive

[Carrie12345]

18 minutes ago, Katy said:

So much depends on his personality.  What does he want to do?  At 10 i wanted to spend every afternoon at the community pool with friends.

What does he WANT to do?  Play video games and watch YouTube alone, without his brother bothering him, lol.  They share a room and are normally on each others’ nerves, so some alone time is definitely good for him.

In his dream world, I think he’d like to spend 4 straight hours talking about video games I don’t understand.  I can last about 15-20 minutes there and grasp about 10% of it.

On a nice day, I’d bet he’d be thrilled to go get ice cream or some other treat. Strangely, we’ve mostly had crummy weather when it’s been just the two of us.  

Your post made me remember that one of his friends did recently move nearby, so the pool thing could be possible! (Weather permitting.)

[Kebo]

Finding a series you like (The Middle, The Office, MasterChef Jr., etc) can be a real bonding experience if you have similar enough tastes.  

Trips to the Zoo, the Library, Nature Preserves, hiking in general ...

I bought subscriptions for my youngest (we are currently using EurekaCrate and Raddish) and they have been great at providing something to do and for learning new skills.  

Picking up a hobby (like photography, pottery, painting miniatures, woodworking) that you can do side by side. 

[Indigo Blue]

Packing a lunch and a backpack with everything you need for a nature hike. Field guide, binoculars, etc. 

Doing math workbook pages (those little workbooks they used to have at Walmart). My kids were obsessed with those. They did them in the summertime. 

Playing video games together.

Playing chess. Actual games and spending time on chess software.

Taking swim lessons. Then ice cream.

When the day was done, snuggling in the bed with the dogs and cat and choosing a movie to watch in bed on the laptop.

Edited June 12, 2021 by Indigo Blue

[Katy]

Have him teach you to game with him. 

[elegantlion]

At 10, I would take ds hiking, play outside with the dog, we still did read alouds in the summer, cooking, and a lot of nature study. We also had a lot of down time. We would have structured mornings and then part of the afternoon was his to do as he pleased. He would often go play at the neighbors. Then he'd help me get dinner ready. 

[pinball]

Based on the title, I thought this was going to be about having just one more kid.

[Carrie12345]

16 hours ago, Katy said:

Have him teach you to game with him. 

I wish.  I swear, it’s not for a lack of trying. I actually tried to get the hang of Minecraft before I let the kids go at it. There’s something about 3-D gaming that my brain can’t manage. And he only tolerates old school Mario for a little while, lol.

40 minutes ago, elegantlion said:

At 10, I would take ds hiking, play outside with the dog, we still did read alouds in the summer, cooking, and a lot of nature study. We also had a lot of down time. We would have structured mornings and then part of the afternoon was his to do as he pleased. He would often go play at the neighbors. Then he'd help me get dinner ready. 

I think the dog aspect is going to be a big deal next year. We love our tiny dog, but he’s kinda useless, lol.  We’re looking into serious training programs for a big dog once we move, and hoping to do lots of fun stuff with it.

 

Part of my issue is working on getting over the idea of saving things (movies, “field trips”, etc.) for The Whole Family.  I think it’s a holdover from when my oldest would spend every other weekend at his dad’s, so we scheduled all the fun stuff around that.  Now I’ve got one kid out of state, one in another town, one with her own work/social life, and another that just started volunteering with his dad. If I do something “too” cool, I feel guilty for leaving the others out.  Which, for most of them at least, is just silly.  And yet... Guilt.

[Carrie12345]

6 minutes ago, pinball said:

Based on the title, I thought this was going to be about having just one more kid.

🤣😝😱

There may or may not be other kids passing through in the future, but there are zero plans to start another lifetime commitment from scratch!

[Tanaqui]

Sometimes I spend time with family by literally just sitting in the same room while we do our own things. One person might be doing homework, another chatting with a friend online, a third eating, and we don't need to interact to be together in a companionable way.

[Katy]

3 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

I wish.  I swear, it’s not for a lack of trying. I actually tried to get the hang of Minecraft before I let the kids go at it. There’s something about 3-D gaming that my brain can’t manage. And he only tolerates old school Mario for a little while, lol.

Have you tried googling the game first?  Watch all the youtube cheater videos so you can learn about it before you do it?

[Spryte]

My brain can’t process Minecraft either, despite many attempts.  It’s the running joke that I get seasick playing Minecraft.  I think it’s my eyes, which don’t function quite right after a prolonged illness.  TBI is a thing after what I had, so we know I need vision therapy.  (Grrrr, Covid!  I was all set to start when lock downs happened!). Anyway, Minecrafting is out here, too. 

Crafting is not out, though, and we have made some really cool Minecraft paper crafts. Also - crafting of any kind is fun.  Sometimes we need a book of ideas to get us going, sometimes not. 

And Minecraft stop motion.  Well, any stop motion is fun.  We do a lot of that here.

Also, Lego - Minecraft theme and then set the scene for stop motion.

Really, current ten year old can’t get enough of the above.  Lots of clay work, too.

Movies.  Books.  Audiobooks while crafting. Sewing little critters - doesn’t sound exciting till you find the right critter, but fun.

At 10, our older kid got into cosplay on a low level. We made pvc and pool noodle swords with duct tape.  Started learning foam armor making.  Bought books of duct tape crafts to make.  

Rube Goldberg machines.  We watched tons of YouTube videos and made giant machines in the basement, filming over and over.  Years later, kid edited those videos into some really funny short films.

Our kid, at 10, wrote a script for a short film and we spent loads of time cajoling relatives into acting in it, and filming bits of it.  He used an iPad, mostly.  It wasn’t finished till Covid lockdown, in that he never took time to edit it all together.  It’s now a short film with credits and all his 10 - 11 yr old creativity, and it’s so cute.  Really funny.  There are some great, easy movie apps for that age, to add in special effects.

 

 

[Carrie12345]

3 hours ago, Katy said:

Have you tried googling the game first?  Watch all the youtube cheater videos so you can learn about it before you do it?

It’s almost all 3-D games. The closest my brain/eye situation can handle is early 2000s skater games, and I even had some limitations with those. Dh has gotten me all sorts of apocalyptic games that I want to play so badly, but I have neurons missing or something!

[fairfarmhand]

7 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

I wish.  I swear, it’s not for a lack of trying. I actually tried to get the hang of Minecraft before I let the kids go at it. There’s something about 3-D gaming that my brain can’t manage. And he only tolerates old school Mario for a little while, lol.

I think the dog aspect is going to be a big deal next year. We love our tiny dog, but he’s kinda useless, lol.  We’re looking into serious training programs for a big dog once we move, and hoping to do lots of fun stuff with it.

 

Part of my issue is working on getting over the idea of saving things (movies, “field trips”, etc.) for The Whole Family.  I think it’s a holdover from when my oldest would spend every other weekend at his dad’s, so we scheduled all the fun stuff around that.  Now I’ve got one kid out of state, one in another town, one with her own work/social life, and another that just started volunteering with his dad. If I do something “too” cool, I feel guilty for leaving the others out.  Which, for most of them at least, is just silly.  And yet... Guilt.

I can't do it either. Left to right across the screen please.

So with your older kids, do they feel guilty if they go see a movie without the rest of you? Likely not. So, go take your kid to a movie.

Also, I found that having "days" helped structure stuff better for my younger son. We'd do chores in the morning and do a fun thing in the afternoon. 

Pool day was always Thursday, Library day was Tuesday. Movie Day was Friday, etc.

Suggestions: 

Bowling

Hiking

Parks

Cooking Day

Shopping

Etc.

 

[LMD]

Have you guys tried Terraria? It's kind of 2D Minecraft...

[Amethyst]

This is a good age to start learning tennis. My dh and son did this for years and eventually played in a doubles league together during his teen years. Do you do tennis by any chance?