Band of Brothers miniseries-- would you let your teen---

[Shellydon]

My 16 yo daughter has been assigned to watch the entire Band of Brothers mini-series and do a series of Q/A over it for a  4 week dual credit course (2nd half of American History).  I just cringe at 10 hours of violence and language plus sex here and there.  Would you let your student watch this?  if it was snippets (a couple of 30 minute episodes), then no problem.  I understand the idea of helping students visualize the horror of war, but the whole thing as as the spine of the class I don't love.

[JustEm]

Band of Brothers is a phenomenal mini-series and while my kids aren't near 16 yet I know I certainly would let them watch it by then if not a year or so earlier.  I was 15 when it first aired and watched it with no problem.  

[EmseB]

My kids watched it much younger. There is one sex scene that I can recall, we skip over it.

It is one of the best depictions of good and bad leadership, brotherhood, and war that I can think of. It's not just a visualization of violence, it's a much deeper retelling.

Now, I would not let my kiddos watch The Pacific which was supposed to be a similar series about that part of the war, but fell far short, IMO.

[Shellydon]

10 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

Band of Brothers is a phenomenal mini-series and while my kids aren't near 16 yet I know I certainly would let them watch it by then if not a year or so earlier.  I was 15 when it first aired and watched it with no problem.  

Oh good golly, that makes me feel really old if you were 15 when it first aired. LOL

[JustEm]

7 minutes ago, Shellydon said:

Oh good golly, that makes me feel really old if you were 15 when it first aired. LOL

ha, yeah I'm on the younger side of this board.  I'll be 34 in 2 weeks.

[Shellydon]

4 minutes ago, Plum said:

It is visual literature. It is such a compelling series with strong characters that I think is worthy of a spine. I plan to do a WWI/WWII year for high school. I can't imagine not including it. 

Interestingly, for these dual credit classes, the professor has chosen to focus solely on the Civil War for American History 1 and WW2 for American History 2.  I am fine with this since we have covered so much history previously.

[HS Mom in NC]

We watch it with all of our teens as part of our WWII studies.  We plan on watching it in the fall with out youngest, who will be 15.  We watch Episode 1, then Saving Private Ryan, then episode 2 through to the end. We also read Major Winter's book on leadership. My kids even reenacted the Baston(sp?) scene when we went up to the snow the following winter and insist there was no need for Patton to rescue them-they had it all under control.

I don't believe in sheltering teens from reality. Sure, there are limits to what I'd expose a teen to, but an excellent series on WWII based on the memoirs of a great man who was there is something I require my teens to watch. Yes, there is sex scene and yes, it's violent because it's war.  I recommend you read Camille Paglia and her article about younger generations not being able to conceive of the concept of evil because they've been sheltered from appropriate exposures to reality by nervous parents.  I get the intention behind the hesitation, but it's not a good policy., Teens need to be prepared for reality.

[MEmama]

Sure. We never censored anything.

[J-rap]

We were careful about what we watched at home, but we let our kids watch it as teens when we discovered it.  We watched it together.  I think our youngest were around 15 and 16.

[Shellydon]

5 minutes ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

We watch it with all of our teens as part of our WWII studies.  We plan on watching it in the fall with out youngest, who will be 15.  We watch Episode 1, then Saving Private Ryan, then episode 2 through to the end. We also read Major Winter's book on leadership. My kids even reenacted the Baston(sp?) scene when we went up to the snow the following winter and insist there was no need for Patton to rescue them-they had it all under control.

I don't believe in sheltering teens from reality. Sure, there are limits to what I'd expose a teen to, but an excellent series on WWII based on the memoirs of a great man who was there is something I require my teens to watch. Yes, there is sex scene and yes, it's violent because it's war.  I recommend you read Camille Paglia and her article about younger generations not being able to conceive of the concept of evil because they've been sheltered from appropriate exposures to reality by nervous parents.  I get the intention behind the hesitation, but it's not a good policy., Teens need to be prepared for reality.

I understand the idea of not over sheltering, but I personally refuse to watch things that are very violent, bloody or have really rough language.  I do not want those images in my head, once they are there, you cannot remove them.  My kids also do not do video games and TV is super limited.  Teens (and I) have read plenty of books that depict war, but it is very different than watching actors.  I don't have an issue with guns, my kids all shoot competitively, so guns are not an issue in our house.   I live in reality, but I don't need to see graphic images to live there.

[Shellydon]

Thanks for the input everyone

[DoraBora]

It was a fantastic series, but there was so much profanity in it, particularly the F-word, that I didn't want my son to watch it.  I just don't want those words to be repeated, even by actors, again and again in my house.  My sister chided me for thinking I could protect my boy from the language, but that wasn't the point.  He's heard it all.  We are Christians, and I hope he will continue to choose to keep the birds from buildling a nest in his hair, so to speak.  For myself, I avoid media containing bad language if I can, so I rarely watch movies or television, and I am choosy about the books I read.  It's not that I haven't heard it, or that I haven't used it myself in the past, it's just not God honoring, and I don't get to a place again in which is doesn't shock me (just a little bit).

The violence bothered me far less than the bad language because, as others said, it's a war movie.

We read the book instead.  The language is addressed in the book, though the profanity itself rarely makes an appearance.

Jmo.

[HS Mom in NC]

21 minutes ago, DoraBora said:

It was a fantastic series, but there was so much profanity in it, particularly the F-word, that I didn't want my son to watch it.  I just don't want those words to be repeated, even by actors, again and again in my house.  My sister chided me for thinking I could protect my boy from the language, but that wasn't the point.  He's heard it all.  We are Christians, and I hope he will continue to choose to keep the birds from buildling a nest in his hair, so to speak.  For myself, I avoid media containing bad language if I can, so I rarely watch movies or television, and I am choosy about the books I read.  It's not that I haven't heard it, or that I haven't used it myself in the past, it's just not God honoring, and I don't get to a place again in which is doesn't shock me (just a little bit).

The violence bothered me far less than the bad language because, as others said, it's a war movie.

We read the book instead.  The language is addressed in the book, though the profanity itself rarely makes an appearance.

Jmo.

The bolded is the same reason my former pastor's wife used to keep her teen sons from watching Les Miseables.  There was that cleavage, which doesn't honor God.  (Agreed, it doesn't honor God.) Never mind the story is one of the greatest life applications of Christian living ever on screen.  How could anyone get anything out of it if there is cleavage on display?

[Splash1]

My 14 yr old son loved it.  He and his dad watched it every night until they finished.  

 

[HS Mom in NC]

49 minutes ago, Shellydon said:

I understand the idea of not over sheltering, but I personally refuse to watch things that are very violent, bloody or have really rough language.  I do not want those images in my head, once they are there, you cannot remove them.  My kids also do not do video games and TV is super limited.  Teens (and I) have read plenty of books that depict war, but it is very different than watching actors.  I don't have an issue with guns, my kids all shoot competitively, so guns are not an issue in our house.   I live in reality, but I don't need to see graphic images to live there.

Graphic images, blood, violence and rough languages are reality older kids need to see in a controlled and appropriate context as part of their preparation for living in the world. That's why we have holocaust museums. No, those images can't get out of our heads, because we need them in our heads as a reference point for what human beings are capable of doing if we're not careful to avoid certain ideologies.  We need to feel that visceral reaction at the appropriate time in a developmentally appropriate exposure situation because it's a protective measure for society.

[DoraBora]

6 minutes ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

The bolded is the same reason my former pastor's wife used to keep her teen sons from watching Les Miseables.  There was that cleavage, which doesn't honor God.  (Agreed, it doesn't honor God.) Never mind the story is one of the greatest life applications of Christian living ever on screen.  How could anyone get anything out of it if there is cleavage on display?

You might well get something out of it.  That's great!  People have found ways to apply Christian ideals to their lives for centuries without seeing Les Mis.  

[Shellydon]

19 minutes ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

Graphic images, blood, violence and rough languages are reality older kids need to see in a controlled and appropriate context as part of their preparation for living in the world. That's why we have holocaust museums. No, those images can't get out of our heads, because we need them in our heads as a reference point for what human beings are capable of doing if we're not careful to avoid certain ideologies.  We need to feel that visceral reaction at the appropriate time in a developmentally appropriate exposure situation because it's a protective measure for society.

I completely disagree with this reasoning. That's like saying that 10-year-olds need to watch violent video games because everyone else does.  Rough language is not necessarily reality. I don't associate with anyone who curses a great deal. It is not my reality at all. 

Edited July 6, 2020 by Shellydon

[DoraBora]

3 minutes ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

Graphic images, blood, violence and rough languages are reality older kids need to see in a controlled and appropriate context as part of their preparation for living in the world. That's why we have holocaust museums. No, those images can't get out of our heads, because we need them in our heads as a reference point for what human beings are capable of doing if we're not careful to avoid certain ideologies.  We need to feel that visceral reaction at the appropriate time in a developmentally appropriate exposure situation because it's a protective measure for society.

See, I think hearing bad language repeatedly doesn't add anything to our learning about avoiding evil.  I think it just makes it more likely we'll repeat that language ourselves.  The graphic images, blood, and violence absolutely can help us maintain an awareness of just how evil any of us might become in certain circumstances.  

[DoraBora]

2 minutes ago, Shellydon said:

I completely disagree with this reasoning. That's like saying that 10-year-olds need to watch violent video games because everyone else does. 

I think it should be age appropriate.  I also think much can be accomplished through reading and discussion, but it doesn't sound like your dd has much choice.  I missed the detail that she's taking a dual credit class in which the whole series(!) is required.  (That's a lot of TV for a college course.  Sigh.)

It doesn't sound like she has much choice in the matter.

[Shellydon]

2 minutes ago, DoraBora said:

I think it should be age appropriate.  I also think much can be accomplished through reading and discussion, but it doesn't sound like your dd has much choice.  I missed the detail that she's taking a dual credit class in which the whole series(!) is required.  (That's a lot of TV for a college course.  Sigh.)

It doesn't sound like she has much choice in the matter.

We can drop the course. 

[Tanaqui]

Does your daughter feel comfortable with this? I mean... she's 16. She'll be an adult in less than two years. It's time for her to start having some say, don't you think?

[Shellydon]

13 minutes ago, Tanaqui said:

Does your daughter feel comfortable with this? I mean... she's 16. She'll be an adult in less than two years. It's time for her to start having some say, don't you think?

No, she does not feel comfortable.  She had to watch Dead Poets Society for a class in the spring and was appalled by the language. 

[EmseB]

Just for perspective, we are by all accounts very conservative and do not use swear words ourselves, and do not spend a great deal of time around people who do.

I used to swear a lot myself. I don't now.

Watching movies with or knowing and hearing those words is not something that makes me want to go around cussing up a storm.

I honestly don't want my kids to be shocked and appalled by people who use coarse language. I would like for them to have a strong sense of why they personally do not want to use it, but I think being shocked by it will not serve them well in the world.

I do have things I would like to keep out of their young minds for as long as possible, but swearing is just not one of them. Neither is violence, to a certain extent. I am more of the mindset that the world is R rated and I'd like my kids to be able to navigate that in a healthy way when they leave the house. If you expect, though, that your kids will be sheltered from it in perpetuity, that's a different story.

[katilac]

We would have left it up to them at 16. We would have been fine with them watching it, and we would have been fine with them deciding they weren't interested in the course. I do think it's a completely appropriate college assignment. 

If she was appalled by the language in PG-rated Dead Poet's Society in spring semester, then it might be really difficult for her to not only watch Band of Brothers but delve into it and discuss it. 

[WendyLady]

I watched the series about 20 years ago. I have no memory of the swearing, but I remember a friend saying she couldn't watch it because of the language. I don't generally swear, and my husband who is in the military absolutely does not swear.  The language was not the issue for me, but the very real portrayal of death and killing was extremely disturbing for me. There is one scene of death that has stayed with me forever and seems to haunt me. I feel sick and shaky when I think of it, and it was just in a movie that I watched, you know? 

Yes, I would let my high school student watch it.  First I would watch it again.  And then I would watch it with my child. I would also talk about how real it is and how it is also so much less horrible than the real war.  I might then see if we could watch some things about PTSD and the after affects of battle on people today.

[EmseB]

2 minutes ago, katilac said:

We would have left it up to them at 16. We would have been fine with them watching it, and we would have been fine with them deciding they weren't interested in the course. I do think it's a completely appropriate college assignment. 

If she was appalled by the language in PG-rated Dead Poet's Society in spring semester, then it might be really difficult for her to not only watch Band of Brothers but delve into it and discuss it. 

Yes, although the funny thing is that I have let my preteen boys watch BoB and would absolutely not want them watching DPS until they were older. The themes and messages are drastically different, in my mind. Again, conservative Christian household, FWIW.

[katilac]

4 minutes ago, EmseB said:

Yes, although the funny thing is that I have let my preteen boys watch BoB and would absolutely not want them watching DPS until they were older. The themes and messages are drastically different, in my mind. Again, conservative Christian household, FWIW.

I don't disagree with the assessment that DPS is problematic in other ways, but OP specifically said she was appalled at the language. Definitely more language in BoB!

[Shellydon]

42 minutes ago, WendyLady said:

I watched the series about 20 years ago. I have no memory of the swearing, but I remember a friend saying she couldn't watch it because of the language. I don't generally swear, and my husband who is in the military absolutely does not swear.  The language was not the issue for me, but the very real portrayal of death and killing was extremely disturbing for me. There is one scene of death that has stayed with me forever and seems to haunt me. I feel sick and shaky when I think of it, and it was just in a movie that I watched, you know? 

Yes, I would let my high school student watch it.  First I would watch it again.  And then I would watch it with my child. I would also talk about how real it is and how it is also so much less horrible than the real war.  I might then see if we could watch some things about PTSD and the after affects of battle on people today.

Per the bolded, this is another significant concern.  You cannot unsee things. 

[Shellydon]

46 minutes ago, katilac said:

We would have left it up to them at 16. We would have been fine with them watching it, and we would have been fine with them deciding they weren't interested in the course. I do think it's a completely appropriate college assignment. 

If she was appalled by the language in PG-rated Dead Poet's Society in spring semester, then it might be really difficult for her to not only watch Band of Brothers but delve into it and discuss it. 

I also think it is fine for a college assignment.  We'll withdraw from the course without complaint.  I always tell people to prepare to withdraw from dual credit courses if the coursework is inappropriate for a teen.  We both like the professor, he teaches high school during the day and does dual credit on the side.  He is the first online dual credit teacher that offers an actual lecture which is nice and he enjoys his job, which is a good change

[catz]

I always tell people that if your kid isn’t ready for adult content, dual enrollment humanities classes aren’t for you.  And yes I’d be totally fine with my high schoolers watching that.  I can’t think of a single dual enrollment class my oldest took other than lab science that didn’t have mature content.  (World music, literature, film studies, composition, etc.)

[Junie]

When we watch movies here, I pre-watch everything (with headphones) and take notes as to where the bad language is.  Then when we watch as a family, I use the mute button when we get to offensive words.

I know that my kids will most likely hear these words eventually -- the older kids have heard plenty at their jobs -- but I am uncomfortable with the words being said aloud in my home.  We never swear and our guests know not to swear when they are visiting here.

I know that it's a lot of extra work, and I know that I'm probably over-sheltering my kids according to the standards of many, but it's what I'm comfortable with.  YMMV.

 

 

[matrips]

6 hours ago, Shellydon said:

My 16 yo daughter has been assigned to watch the entire Band of Brothers mini-series and do a series of Q/A over it for a  4 week dual credit course (2nd half of American History).  I just cringe at 10 hours of violence and language plus sex here and there.  Would you let your student watch this?  if it was snippets (a couple of 30 minute episodes), then no problem.  I understand the idea of helping students visualize the horror of war, but the whole thing as as the spine of the class I don't love.

My kids are 15yo and we watched the series a year or two ago as a family.  It’s so well done.  I think it should be fine.

However, I will not let my kids watch The Pacific which is is a Band if Brothers type series that takes place in the Pacific instead of Europe.  No way.  It’s a whole different level of violence. 

[Shellydon]

Update:  I watched several sections of the videos and decided that they are not a good fit.  My eldest (current college student) watched with me and noted that she would drop a class that required watching this, so we decided that it wasn't for our family.  I contacted the professor and let him know and he kindly offered to let her read a historical fiction book instead.  Apparently this entire dual credit class is all high school students, not a single actual college student, which is a first for us.  Previous dual credit class (my eldest tool over 21 hours of dual credit) were all college students and she was the only high school. 

[klmama]

1 hour ago, Shellydon said:

I contacted the professor and let him know and he kindly offered to let her read a historical fiction book instead.  

Did he assign a specific book or offer her a few options?  Just wondering, as I'm planning our WWII studies next....

[Shellydon]

3 hours ago, klmama said:

Did he assign a specific book or offer her a few options?  Just wondering, as I'm planning our WWII studies next....

He has not yet told her which book. Band Of Brothers was first a book, so it would be fine if he assigned that one. 

[Tanaqui]

So it all sounds like it's working out well, or at least potentially.

[Chris in VA]

Just chiming in...we bought it for Christmas for our then-15 yo son who had a deep interest (Aspie) in WWII. 

He is a film graduate and is currently finishing a script for Paradise Lost. Classically homeschooled. Doesn't cuss or play violent video games. 😁

Edited July 7, 2020 by Chris in VA