dirty ethel rackham Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 I feel so bad for dd. Probably worse than she feels herself (yeah, still working on that whole "getting my own life" thing.) Dd has been talking to several people about rooming together next year. She has to live on campus next year, which could be a dorm or a college-owned apartment. This has been a discussion for the last 6 weeks or so. It can be sort-of high stakes because sophomores get the lowest priority when it comes to housing. She was all set to get a triple with two girls on her floor, but one girl stopped talking to dd and the other girl. There has been a lot of drama on her floor and, even though she is friends with all these people who seem to be having lots of drama with each other, she has been hunkering down and finding quite places to study instead of participating in this drama. Her backup plan was to room with another friend and her roommate. They were going to get either a triple in the dorm or one of the campus apartments. Well, she found out that this friend and roommate are selecting a dorm that doesn't have triples. And, now all of the other people she had been discussing rooming with have their own plans. Housing contracts for sophomores opened today, and dd doesn't have anyone to room with and will have to go random. I know its not the end of the world, and I am hoping that she gets someone good and all the immature roommate stuff might be outgrown. I just have a bad feeling about this. 1 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch at Home Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 I am sorry that your DD is having troubles putting together a room for next year. I have no advice as my DD has had similar problems. She has gone potluck 3 times and after her first abismal roommates she has had decent luck. Her roomies though not her best friends have been communicative and civil. In fact, I would say that the maturity level of her potluck roommates has been higher than that the average student in her year. I hope that things all work out for your DD. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodGrief Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Ugh, roommate stuff can be so stressful. I'm sorry your daughter has been going through this. My oldest was never particularly close to any of her roommates, and was better off when she could just be in a single room in a college-owned apartment. The college chose the other roommates, so people moved in and out, but she did not need to be involved in any of the decision making. My second daughter has been lucky as far as roommates and housing options, thank goodness. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Hopefully it will all turnout well. In my experience there can be a great deal of changes in housing by the time the fall semester begins, even though housing decisions have to be made now. Students get RA positions, decide not to return to that school, get accepted to study abroad programs, etc. and a domino effect occurs with roommates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
easypeasy Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Ugh. Roommate stuff suuuuuuucks. I'm so sorry - and hopefully either plans will change for people that your dd knows, or that her randoms will be surprisingly great! There are probably a LOT of girls in her same shoes right now!!!! In my daughter's situation this year, it's funny (not-funny). We went through a TON of over-summer stuff with housing to get things switched around so that she could room with two other girls she knew. MY daughter contacted her randomly assigned roommates (the way this university does its housing assignments is asinine and nearly everyone is assigned a random and has to make crazy switches and deals with the devil to get it changed). So. MY daughter contacted her two randoms and asked if they would be willing to switch with those other two girls. They both protested a bit, but agreed (one of them turned out to be SO nice, I think she would have wound up being a good friend of dds). Then, weeks into the fall semester, the two girls DD knew started in with bullying behavior. O_O And DD wound up moving OUT of the room that was ORIGINALLY HERS! UGH. She would've been better off with the randoms! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 My ds connected with another incoming freshman via the social media groups and they decided to room together. It was a disaster. Random assignment could not have been worse. He finally just last week moved out and is with a random roommate and he thinks it will be fine. Now ds is planning to move off campus with three other guys he is friends with. It is much cheaper and he plans to stay all year so I am fine with it. But it is hard to get the other guys all on board to go look at apartments at the same time so they are dragging their feet. Campus isn’t in a great area so a desirable apartment complex is important to me from a safety standpoint. I have no idea when these apartments actually fill up but I’m worried they are waiting too long. But...I can’t do anything about it. And honestly ds can’t either. All I can do is nag him and all he can do is nag his friends. I’m worried about it but I’m biting my tongue. I’ll start nagging when it is time to secure on campus housing so he doesn’t miss out on that selection. He’s pretty responsible so it will probably work out. The housing thing is such a hassle. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 I wonder how the roommate thing for @KarenNC's DD worked out after all the hassle she had this spring/ summer. But, I don't want to bump an old thread. Maybe she'll pop in & let us know. @teachermom2834 I remember you had a roommate woe thread earlier, too! Thanks for updating. No idea how the random roommate thing will work out for dd. Two of her three college choices have single rooms within a 4 room suite (share a bathroom with one of those roommates), so she might be able to have her own room. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 7 minutes ago, RootAnn said: I wonder how the roommate thing for @KarenNC's DD worked out after all the hassle she had this spring/ summer. But, I don't want to bump an old thread. Maybe she'll pop in & let us know. @teachermom2834 I remember you had a roommate woe thread earlier, too! Thanks for updating. No idea how the random roommate thing will work out for dd. Two of her three college choices have single rooms within a 4 room suite (share a bathroom with one of those roommates), so she might be able to have her own room. That's right! I did post about it already. It got worse. Much worse. He kept hearing people say his roommate was telling people he was going to move out so ds was waiting to see if he would. I am aggravated ds waited so long to switch. He put in the request and had a cheaper room in the same building within 48 hours. Wish he would have done it sooner but it was one of those things. All we could do was make suggestions. I am really pleased that he managed to still have a successful and happy semester when his living situation was so messed up. But, his dorm has many lounges, game rooms, study rooms, 24 hour dining, etc. I think he utilized alot of common areas to minimize time in his room. Glad he has that behind him and honestly glad he was able to handle the adversity and still be happy and healthy. But a random match would have almost certainly be better. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Fwiw, my dd had mostly random roommates all four years. For the second, third and fourth years, she palled up with someone she met on the college roommate search board, so while she knew who the person was going in, she didn't really "know" them at all. It was easier in her situation to find someone to go in as a group of 2, and then they were matched with another group of 2. She had great luck with the random roommates. The worst was living with two who never took out the garbage, and that's not too bad at all! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanDiegoMom Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 My dd is in her second year and living with random roommates who are wonderful. But it was so stressful for her. She had bad roommates the first year (one was still stuck in high school mean girls mentality) and then during the whole six weeks leading up to contracts she searched and posted on fb looking for roommates. Very few people responded to her posts, leading to low self esteem issues (yikes) and then she just went random. And subsequently got changed three times before she got her current roommates - so each time she reached out and established a connection only to have it switched again! Her roommates now had roomed together last year and yet my dd fit right in and they are wonderful. Her room has become a safe place rather than a stressful one. Good luck to your dd! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted February 7, 2019 Share Posted February 7, 2019 On 1/29/2019 at 3:47 PM, RootAnn said: I wonder how the roommate thing for @KarenNC's DD worked out after all the hassle she had this spring/ summer. But, I don't want to bump an old thread. Maybe she'll pop in & let us know. It actually worked out fine. They did end up with two microfridges, but as they are in a corner room that's a bit larger, it worked out spacewise. They have gotten along fine, not best friends (which was never expected) but occasionally doing things together. The roommate is involved in dance team and likes to go to a lot of parties where my daughter likes more time in the room, so no big issues there and my daughter gets some alone time, something she's used to as an only child. They're in a class together this semester and sharing a textbook. They both have found friends to room with next year. Housing for next year has been a bit of drama, but not compared to last year (at least so far!). Evidently previously UNCW has opened housing applications by class, so with staggered times. This year, for some reason, they opened it up to everyone at the same time, resulting in lots of issues in being able to get into the system, getting booted out repeatedly when trying to pay the housing deposit, and all application spaces filling up in about 3 hours. Luckily both my daughter and her roommate made it in, though it took my daughter about 2 1/2 hours and a *lot* of stress. Some of her friends weren't that lucky and had to sign up for the waitlist. That was last week. Today, they have been given time slots to try to sign up for specific rooms. The roommate got in earlier, so hopefully they'll be able to get in at one of the apartments with individual bedrooms, which is what they want. They're shooting for a two-bedroom, but may end up paired with randoms for a larger apartment or in a traditional dorm. I'm just glad they'll end up somewhere on campus, even if it's in another traditional dorm. I did point out to my daughter that RA's are guaranteed a room on campus...... 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 (edited) So sorry. My oldest had a horrible roommate situation his first quarter. So much so, that he finally allowed his therapist to write a letter stating his need for a single room accommodation. His first roommate actually was on probation, kicked off the sports team he was on, and almost got kicked out while my son roomed with him. He was a NIGHTMARE! I am shocked he didn't actually get kicked out based on the threats (he actually threatened an RA at one point!). But the kicker was the time his mom told him to tell the school he was depressed so they couldn't actually kick him out, so he took an exacto knife and cut his arms, all while laughing and saying, "This will make them. think I am depressed!" and leaving blood all over the living room. After they made him go to counseling on campus, he would get on the phone with his mom and say, "Yeah, they believed me, I don't think I am getting kicked out now." That was a stressful quarter for us. Here's hoping she gets a fantastic roommate despite the situation (BTW: my son has had great roommates ever since.....) Edited February 9, 2019 by DawnM 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caraway Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 My “random” roommate was my best housing situation in college. We are still friends 20 years later. Maybe she will end up with a better situation and less drama. 😊 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
easypeasy Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 (edited) My daughter (who I spoke about above) just had the deadline for her room for next year arrive. She was talking with two different friends about rooming together next year (one wanted to live off-campus, and the other was staying on-campus, so dd was comparing her options). Then, she finally, wisely, chose to reserve the single again for next year. Hallelujah!!! (oh - AND - she wound up right next-door to one of the girls she was considering rooming with! So - best of both worlds, imho! Finally. Senior year - no rooming drama!) Edited March 28, 2019 by easypeasy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted March 28, 2019 Author Share Posted March 28, 2019 Update: So, when it came down to the wire, dd's friend and friend's roommate all requested each other and asked for either an apartment or a quad with a random fourth. Well, housing for next year was assigned ... dd is in a quad with 3 strangers (at least it is suite style so she shares a bedroom with one person.) And the girls she wanted to room with ended up in singles that they didn't want (and can't afford.) Dd said she is done fighting. If the other girls want to fight then she is happy to go along with them Otherwise, she will just stay put. The upside is that this saves us a ton of money since she is in a single right now. Plus, she is studying abroad in the Spring, so it is only for a semester. Next year, as rising juniors, they will have much better selection since they get to register earlier than the rising sophomores. So, they will request each other and will likely get an on-campus apartment. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 On 1/28/2019 at 5:32 PM, dirty ethel rackham said: I feel so bad for dd. Probably worse than she feels herself (yeah, still working on that whole "getting my own life" thing.) Dd has been talking to several people about rooming together next year. She has to live on campus next year, which could be a dorm or a college-owned apartment. This has been a discussion for the last 6 weeks or so. It can be sort-of high stakes because sophomores get the lowest priority when it comes to housing. She was all set to get a triple with two girls on her floor, but one girl stopped talking to dd and the other girl. There has been a lot of drama on her floor and, even though she is friends with all these people who seem to be having lots of drama with each other, she has been hunkering down and finding quite places to study instead of participating in this drama. Her backup plan was to room with another friend and her roommate. They were going to get either a triple in the dorm or one of the campus apartments. Well, she found out that this friend and roommate are selecting a dorm that doesn't have triples. And, now all of the other people she had been discussing rooming with have their own plans. Housing contracts for sophomores opened today, and dd doesn't have anyone to room with and will have to go random. I know its not the end of the world, and I am hoping that she gets someone good and all the immature roommate stuff might be outgrown. I just have a bad feeling about this. I'm so sorry -- roommate worries are at the top of my dd's list when it comes to colleges. I didn't have a great experience my 2nd year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 There are some definite advantages to rooming with people who are not close friends, imo. Friendships can be strained by roommate issues and you can just plain get tired of each other, lol. It's nice to have a break from your roommate by hanging out with friends and it's nice to have a break from friends by hanging out in your room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*LC Posted March 31, 2019 Share Posted March 31, 2019 12 hours ago, katilac said: There are some definite advantages to rooming with people who are not close friends, imo. Friendships can be strained by roommate issues and you can just plain get tired of each other, lol. It's nice to have a break from your roommate by hanging out with friends and it's nice to have a break from friends by hanging out in your room. Or the roommate's boyfriend/girlfriend if they spend a lot of time at your place. My oldest lived with the same person for 3 years in an on-campus suite with two-others and then off-campus apartment with one other for two years. By the third year, they had a bit of falling out due to the friend's SO, who my kid thought was all wrong, always being over. A few months after graduation the roomie called off the engagement and their friendship was back on track. My current high schooler has a friend who wants to room together next year, but I don't want it to impact their longterm friendship. I thought singles were sought after, so it seems odd to me that students are forced into them. I wouldnt be happy with that My sibling ended up in a triple freshman year for a few weeks. They liked each other so much, they stayed as a triple when a different solution was offered. They are still friends many years later Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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