Bedtimes and tweens.

[SKL]

How do you get your tweens to go to bed?  Mine drag out bedtime to a ridiculous extent nearly every night.  They are too big for me to control where their body is going to be.

This wasn't an issue when my kids were younger.  I always felt blessed that they were such good sleepers.

[alisoncooks]

My 12 year old drags it out way too long. She has to be in her room at 8ish.  She's free to read/draw/listen to the radio until 9:30. Then she comes out to use the bathroom, say goodnight, etc. This is the part that takes too long and annoys me. It's often around 10pm before she's in her room for the night. I go to bed at 10:30ish, and I know she still is awake after I'm in bed. (DH is up late.)

[regentrude]

We never had fixed bedtimes after age 6. The kids had to be in their rooms at a certain time because *I* was no longer available,  but they were free to choose when to go to bed. Since they had to get up in the morning,  they figured out that staying up late means feeling tired the next day and learned to self regulate. Staying up late was not particularly attractive since they were allowed to, and nothing spectacular happened in the evenings. 

[mom2scouts]

11 minutes ago, HeighHo said:

Sports.  Cross country and swimming use lots of energy...

Ha! This doesn't work for us. DD12 does 14 hours a week of sports activity and she rarely goes to sleep before 11 pm. She wakes up as a happy morning person too. She just doesn't seem to need much sleep, so I just send her to her room at 10 pm.

[gardenmom5]

more physical activity during the day

I don't care if you don't go to sleep - you have to be in your room at ___ time (no computer) because ****I**** need adult time with no kids around!  bedtime snack first.

[SKL]

5 minutes ago, mom2scouts said:

Ha! This doesn't work for us. DD12 does 14 hours a week of sports activity and she rarely goes to sleep before 11 pm. She wakes up as a happy morning person too. She just doesn't seem to need much sleep, so I just send her to her room at 10 pm.

 

Similar here.  My daughter has at least one sport almost every day - sometimes 2 or 3.

I do feel my kid needs more sleep.  School is hard for her, especially remembering new stuff, and I think sleep would help that.  Even she thinks so.  But she keeps thinking of "one more thing" she just needs to do before bed - and even then, she needs to get up out of bed to do this and that before sleeping.

[Pawz4me]

1 hour ago, regentrude said:

We never had fixed bedtimes after age 6. The kids had to be in their rooms at a certain time because *I* was no longer available,  but they were free to choose when to go to bed. Since they had to get up in the morning,  they figured out that staying up late means feeling tired the next day and learned to self regulate. Staying up late was not particularly attractive since they were allowed to, and nothing spectacular happened in the evenings. 

Same here, except ours didn't have to be in their rooms. DH is much more of a night owl than me, so often the boys did things with him until they took themselves off to bed.

[lexi]

1 hour ago, HeighHo said:

Sports.  Cross country and swimming use lots of energy...

This. My kids swim. They are in their rooms at a certain time each night. They are free to read or color or listen to audiobooks for 30 minutes. After that it’s lights out. So we tell them goodnight before they head to their rooms. This gives us some quiet time. And then we go to bed really early too because we get up so early. My kids might not fall asleep right away but they have to hang out quietly in their rooms.  

[athena1277]

We are not night owls.  DH has to be up early for work, 2yo is up soon after, and if we don’t start school about 8am, it won’t get finished that day.  11yo DS has to get ready for bed around 8:30 and lights out at 9.  He would like to stay up later, but he needs the sleep.  I usually have to wake him up at 7 so he doesn’t sleep all morning.

[rebcoola]

We are a family of night owls but we do the in the room at 9:30 most nights with only lamp no overhead light.  They read or whatever until whenever.  DH sometimes lets them stay up all night when he is transitioning to night shift and that's their favorite thing ever.

[bolt.]

Early bedtime routine (so all the work is done) followed by TV episodes as an incentive. TV ends at a certain time no matter when it starts, so they move fast to start watching as soon as possible.

We watch these special episodes curled up in a bed in low light, using a smart phone as a screen. This builds up sleepy feelings. Once TV is done, they can do audiobooks or a bit of reading. Usually drifting off happens pretty quickly.

The more they say, “I’m tired!” In the daytime, the less I “say yes to” during the evenings.

[Farrar]

Take it from the mother of a kid who didn't sleep through the night regularly until age 12. You cannot force your children to sleep. Obviously when a kid has an early morning school routine that's not negotiable, they need sleep... but generally I think in your room, no electronics, and... you just have to let them be and hope for the best.

[solascriptura]

I tweens/teens are in bed by 9 most nights.  They're on a swim team so that helps.

[kiwik]

It is 7.50 and I have just given a 10 minute warning.  Ds9 will go to bed and read a while.  Ds11 and I will do 30 minutes of AOPS in bed plus talk and a cuddle (ds9 gets me all day while ds11 is at school).  9 to 10 is my time then I work 2 to 4 hours.

[SeaConquest]

My oldest will be 10 in January. The boys have to be in bed around 9. But, they are allowed to read or listen to audiobooks until they are tired enough for sleep. The 5 year old falls asleep before his brother does. I don't generally regulate beyond that.