4everHis Posted March 1, 2018 Author Share Posted March 1, 2018 I have a friend abt an hour away. DS17 is excited. Definitely not a 'sexual attraction' thing. When asked what it is abt this kid that he appreciates it is that they think alike, conservativly, about girls, work, etc. Like I said, this is my more mature/open kid. He'd be our pick for power of attorney if he was older. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4everHis Posted March 1, 2018 Author Share Posted March 1, 2018 (edited) Would you mind being an emergency contact? That I don't foresee needing? Pls feel free to say no. No harm, no foul. I don't live far from it.Would you mind be an emergency contact? That I don't foresee needing? Pls feel free to say no. No harm, no foul. Edited March 1, 2018 by connib Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 We were shocked when we found out that one of my son's friends had a new girlfriend, who he met online, and had driven up to visit, 4 hours away, and stayed with her family for several days. And he has now done it multiple times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4everHis Posted March 1, 2018 Author Share Posted March 1, 2018 Just talked to mom who, funny enough, had all the same thoughts and concerns as me. We have an exit plan, multiple ways to communicate and an offer to take him to airport at any time he asks. Deep breaths and letting go... 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arctic Bunny Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 (edited) My mom let me go to a different country to stay with a boyfriend I met on a school trip in yet a third country. Before internet or cell phones. Clearly she was crazy, but it worked out. ETA: I was in 12th grade, he was in 11th. Edited March 1, 2018 by arctic_bunny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy the Valiant Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I also change my vote from "no way" to "maybe." :) The length of friendship, and access to mom, and the platonic nature of the friendship are strong arguments. :) I'd feel a lot better being the host, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4everHis Posted March 1, 2018 Author Share Posted March 1, 2018 I also change my vote from "no way" to "maybe." :) The length of friendship, and access to mom, and the platonic nature of the friendship are strong arguments. :) I'd feel a lot better being the host, though. Me, too. But I do have more peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Sort of depends on how well they know each other online. I've traveled and stayed with many people that I met online, but they were people that I knew online for a long time. Wouldn't be an automatic no or an automatic yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I’ve had backup phone numbers of boardies for my kids when they’ve travelled around the world. Dd says I find her someone everywhere. Lol it sounds like you’ve got lots of backup plans. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmos Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 It's interesting that we trust *our* online friends to the extent that the OP is asking a boardie here to serve as an emergency backup. This doesn't sound shady in the least. I'm glad you posted more info, and that moms like us can adapt to new ways of social interaction. I'm excited for your son and his friend to finally be able to meet. What fun! 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Make sure DS has the Lyft or Uber apps on his phone, maybe both just in case. Have it connected to payment and ready to go. That way if things go south he can get a ride out of there to the nearest airport or whatever. The Phoenix metro area is an Uber Teen test market. Not sure that they include Casa Grande (it's kind of a suburb of a suburb of a suburb), but might check. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 (edited) No. First meeting of an online friend would occur for a few hours, in a public place, with a group. Preferably a group that includes me. There is no way I would be ok with my 17 yr old would be spending a week out of town with someone she had not met in person before. And if my 22yr old wanted to do such a thing I would strongly discourage her. But, I have always had that sort of cautiousness. I wouldn’t even let DH come to my house to pick me up until like the 4th date or so. :iagree: I'd much prefer a shorter, more casual first time in-person meeting in a public place. It's a good standard to start and continue with. There are probably going to be more of these types of meetings over the course of a life-time, and setting up a safer standard of behaviour to follow makes sense to me. There is no need to jump right into a week-long stay in some stranger's house. Four years of texting each other is a great start to a friendship, for sure, but it still doesn't automatically mean the next step is staying together for a week in the same house. Edited March 1, 2018 by wintermom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Mom has made her phone, address, etc available. She happens to be President of community college & has online presence. We will be FaceTiming her at some point. Does that change things. So yeah, that and being able to see/talk to parent and friend, etc. would make a difference. Really it comes down to the fact that they will be 18 soon and will do this stuff anyway, maybe even riskier behavior just to "show" me they can (I did when I moved out) I don't want that. Of course I'd probably try to talk them out of it at first because it terrifies me. I say this knowing that, in a few years, I will be crossing the bridge so to speak since all of DD's (she's 14.5 now) friends are online and live all over the US and Canada. She's known these kids for a year or more already. I've spoken to a couple of them and would of course have to do an extensive amount of planning with the parents but yeah, I think I will be okay with it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMommy Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Would you mind be an emergency contact? That I don't foresee needing? Pls feel free to say no. No harm, no foul. Unless the two of you have met irl, there's an irony here that's amusing to me. :) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Would you mind be an emergency contact? That I don't foresee needing? Pls feel free to say no. No harm, no foul. I would not mind at all. PM me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanier.1765 Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Just because a friendship originates online as opposed to in person would not be an automatic no for me. Identity of person should be verified, friendship should be long term and not a recent acquaintance. FWIW, I allowed my 16 y/o to travel out of state to meet a friend she had met online and with whom she had been in regular contact over the course of years. I would not hesitate to travel to visit certain users on this board with whom I had established a connection over the course of the years. Back in the day, we had pen pals whom we only knew from letters. My son's best man at his wedding is one he met online while gaming. They've done other real life things but mostly their relationship is maintained online. The young man is incredibly funny and smart and my son couldn't have found a better guy to stand in for him. So I wouldn't say no as an automatic but if I felt certain that the person is credible then my decision would come down to if my child was mature enough to handle that kind of trip. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I met my husband online - from another country. He came to me first, but the online component is there. And at 17, my teeny-tiny, gets mistaken for a child in restaurants because she looks so young niece moved 10+ hours (driving time) away from home (small 5 traffic light city) to go to college in a major city. With that in mind, and proper due diligence, I'd have no problem letting a 17 year old boy travel to meet a friend. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4everHis Posted April 3, 2018 Author Share Posted April 3, 2018 For those who remember this trip. DS17 had a wonderful time. The mom totally kept me in the loop with text and pictures. They are all talking about future get togethers. I thought I had total peace about the trip until DH text to let me know he'd picked up DS17 at airport. I sort of lost it at that point. =) In this case, I think we made the right choice. Thanks again for all of your advice, thoughts and prayers. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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