I hate the way my husband does laundry *VENT*

[JustEm]

I did not ask him to do laundry or ask him to help at all.

 

 

Plus my TV time is too treasured by me to spend finishing someone else's chores! By not folding (he thinks of folding as a shared / anytime chore ) he has created a problem that I'm stuck having to deal with. If those same clothes were still dirty in the basement waiting for their spin in the washer that problem wouldn't exist .

If you have asked him to stopped doing laundry or to take on the responsibility of doing all the folding as well and he won't then I'd stop helping him. I would simply start only washing my on laundry and letting him take control of the rest of the laundry. I would stay firm in that until he agreed to either fold the laundry he washes or not do laundry at all.

[Seasider]

Ok seems like a good place to insert this little tip that I learned from someone on this board.

 

If clothes get put away wrinkled, a few minutes in the dryer with an ice cube makes an item quickly ready-to-wear.

Edited October 14, 2016 by Seasider

[BrookValley.]

I do it the same way your husband does, poppy, except when I take it out of the dryer, I dump the basket out on DH's side of the bed. Then he has to fold it before he gets in. :cool:

[SparklyUnicorn]

Ok seems like a good place to insert this little tip that I learned from someone on this board.

 

If clothes get put away wrinkled, a few minutes in the dryer with an ice cube makes an item quickly ready-to-wear.

 

I either wet the item or wet something in the load and dry.  Same concept. 

 

I never have ice cubes, but the wet thing works like a charm.

[gardenmom5]

:lol:

 

just cracks me up that people are complaining when partner HELPS do some household task like laundry.

yeah.  I understand - my mother would (sloppily) fold clothes inside out.  drove. me. nuts.  she was trying to help and make my life easier.  so I refused to get angry.  I did identify what was so aggravating - and asked her to please turn the clothes right side out first . . . .

 

it seems like what the OP is most upset about is he doesn't fold it.

 

I do it your husband's way except I fold the load that comes out of the dryer right away.

 

What I wanna know is how the clothes aren't wrinkled to hell if you just shove everything into baskets.  I find if I fold it right away it's fine.  if it sits it is all wrinkled.

 

But either way, I agree with you.  Anyone can fill up and run a washer.  The real job part is getting it put away.

it also depends what it is.  towels - who cares if they're wrinkled.  if they even are . . . or jeans. shake 'em out and fold them then put them away.  I iron dh's 'wrinkle-free' shirts, becasue he wants them crisp.  it's about the only thing he cares about, so I do it for him.

 

We line dry outside as do most Australians. It is very typical in I would think most households to bring the dry clothes in just before cooking tea ( or whatever you want to call the evening meal) . They may sit in a basket until evening. if I went and visited just about anyone I know without advanced warning I bet nearly every house that has children would in the  late afternoon have a basket of dry clothes waiting to be folded sitting in the living room.

 

my mother lined dry when I was little.  my grandmother and her sister (I stayed with her a lot.) both lined dry.  all, in the basement.  it rains here.  but they were doing wash before there were dryers.  and my grandmother and her 'sudsaver' because the wash water was reused. just gross.  things were different.

 

evening meal is called supper or dinner.  I was watching "manor house" a go back in time show.  supper and dinner were class based terms.   the servants had their big meal at noonish - they called it dinner.  they had a light evening meal, so they were free to serve the "family" dinner in the evening. (frequently around 8pm.  which seems so late.  but children ate in the nursery)

 

my grandmother - farmer's daughter, very rural - always called it supper.  my city raised father's side called it dinner.

[OneStepAtATime]

I'm so not picky either, but if he is only washing and drying and not putting away or folding then he really doesn't have much of a system.  Unless I guess the system involves just grabbing stuff as needed from the laundry basket.  I suppose that is a system.  I suspect it's mostly only to put on a good illusion of "helping".  That would be sort of like my husband asking if I'd help rake the yard, and I placed the rake and bag out there.  I helped right?  The rake and bag are there.  I made a bit of effort.  That's really what it would feel like to me if my husband just ran the washer and dryer.  I don't need help with that part.  I guess he too can manage to bring the rake and bag out there. 

I wasn't responding to the OP with that particular post but another poster.  OP's DH was not asked to help.  He was just doing laundry and doing it the way he prefers.  

 

Regardless, in the OPs case, since he doesn't like how she does laundry and she doesn't like how he does laundry maybe the best option is for them each to do their own laundry.  She didn't ask for his help with laundry.  He simply did the laundry and left the dried clothes in a heap in the basket.  That is how he does laundry.  I know a lot of people who do that and just flop them again in the dryer when they need to get the wrinkles out.  It isn't the wrong way to do it, it is just different from how the OP prefers it.  She does her laundry a different way from how her DH prefers it, too.  People are different.  Since they don't seem to be able to work on a compromise, each doing their own laundry might work best.

 

DH and I don't do laundry the same way, either.  Can it get a bit irritating?  Sure.  But he does it his way and I do it my way and the laundry gets done.  Is it wrinkled sometimes?  Yep.  Is it stuck in the basket sometimes?  Yep.  For us, it isn't a big deal.  Certainly not something that would cause friction (we have plenty of other areas that we disagree on for that :) ).  For others, yes, this would be something that would cause friction.  If it is causing friction and stress, and neither party is willing to either let each person do it their way without rancor or frustration or adopt the way of the other then some other compromise needs to be worked out.   

 

Maybe OP can have a couple of spare laundry baskets for DH.  He can do his own clothes and just keep them in heaps in those baskets.  OP can do her own laundry and put it away as it gets done using a third basket.

[heartlikealion]

We have a rule in our house for adults that says, "You can ask me to do something, or you can tell me how, but you can't do both. " I'd let it go and fold while watching tv.

 

I know this expression and I get how it makes sense in a lot of ways, but sometimes I physically cannot do something so I request something done for me a certain way and it's like I'm asking too much. This is the reason the curtains don't hang properly (it was too hard for me to hang them myself) and now people can see in sometimes because they fall back into place correctly after the cat sits in the window. I'm probably going to just break down and buy a tall step stool to attempt to fix them myself, sigh.

Edited October 14, 2016 by heartlikealion

[poppy]

I wasn't responding to the OP with that particular post but another poster.  OP's DH was not asked to help.  He was just doing laundry and doing it the way he prefers.  

 

Regardless, in the OPs case, since he doesn't like how she does laundry and she doesn't like how he does laundry maybe the best option is for them each to do their own laundry.  She didn't ask for his help with laundry.  He simply did the laundry and left the dried clothes in a heap in the basket.  That is how he does laundry.  I know a lot of people who do that and just flop them again in the dryer when they need to get the wrinkles out.  It isn't the wrong way to do it, it is just different from how the OP prefers it.  She does her laundry a different way from how her DH prefers it, too.  People are different.  Since they don't seem to be able to work on a compromise, each doing their own laundry might work best.

 

DH and I don't do laundry the same way, either.  Can it get a bit irritating?  Sure.  But he does it his way and I do it my way and the laundry gets done.  Is it wrinkled sometimes?  Yep.  Is it stuck in the basket sometimes?  Yep.  For us, it isn't a big deal.  Certainly not something that would cause friction (we have plenty of other areas that we disagree on for that :) ).  For others, yes, this would be something that would cause friction.  If it is causing friction and stress, and neither party is willing to either let each person do it their way without rancor or frustration or adopt the way of the other then some other compromise needs to be worked out.   

 

Maybe OP can have a couple of spare laundry baskets for DH.  He can do his own clothes and just keep them in heaps in those baskets.  OP can do her own laundry and put it away as it gets done using a third basket.

 

This is a fine idea, I understand the approach, but I don't think it will work.  The problem isn't "he wants his stuff done faster" it is "he can't stand seeing a pile of stuff that needs to be done". And it is the kids  stuff, towels, dog stuff, sheets that makes the darn pile so big. 

[OneStepAtATime]

This is a fine idea, I understand the approach, but I don't think it will work. The problem isn't "he wants his stuff done faster" it is "he can't stand seeing a pile of stuff that needs to be done". And it is the kids stuff, towels, dog stuff, sheets that makes the darn pile so big.

And I guess having the dog do its laundry is probably out of the question. LOL. Good luck Poppy. Sorry this is so frustrating.

[Joyofsixreboot]

No help, we are exactly opposite you and your dh. The snails pace my dh does laundry makes me batty. I do mine and the 9 yo's he does his own. It was the only way to avoid counseling.😀(Note we have lots of these compromises because we do NOTHING the same way.

[AK_Mom4]

Everyone here is capable and willing to do laundry. I do most all of it because I like to and it is a chore I mostly enjoy. I have multiple kids going like your DH but I fold into baskets or hang (for DHs shirts and dress pants) right out of the dryer.

[IfIOnly]

We hang all of our shirts, no folding. We also must buy clothing that doesn't wrinkle? Pretty much no wrinkles After hanging or folding even if clothes has been sitting a while.

Edited October 15, 2016 by ifIonlyhadabrain

[The Girls' Mom]

Once upon a time there was a boy and girl who just got married.  They had a week of wedded bliss before laundry day arrived.  The boy ever so lovingly did a load of laundry, just like his mother had taught him.  The girl, being used to the way her (very picky) mother had taught her, thought that some gentle instruction may be needed.  She informed the boy that he was doing it wrong.  Twenty four years passed, and the boy has not willingly done the laundry one time.  

 

The moral of the story: don't look gift laundry in the mouth! lol.  

 

Seriously though...it ticked my dh off so much to be "corrected" over something so basic, that he decided that he would rather hear grumbles about me doing all the laundry than argue with me over how to do it "right'.  I also decided that having the laundry done my way was more important to me than the help. 

 

PS.  The kids learned how to do laundry at an early age, and now they wash their own clothes!  

[Guest]

The only complaint I see is he doesn't fold it.

 

It is much more efficient time wise to have a load in both the washer and dryer at the same time.

 

But it does need to be folded so it can be put away.

 

My mother would try to be helpful, and I knew she wanted to help. I isolated what bothered me the most, and addressed that.

 

She didn't turn clothes right side out. But she stll, sloppily, folded them.

Same here. I always have one going in the washer and one in the dryer, but I do (almost) always fold them as I bring them out of the dryer.

 

My DH virtually never does laundry, though. My teen son does his own but he NEVER folds or puts them away again.

[Guest]

Once upon a time there was a boy and girl who just got married. They had a week of wedded bliss before laundry day arrived. The boy ever so lovingly did a load of laundry, just like his mother had taught him. The girl, being used to the way her (very picky) mother had taught her, thought that some gentle instruction may be needed. She informed the boy that he was doing it wrong. Twenty four years passed, and the boy has not willingly done the laundry one time.

 

The moral of the story: don't look gift laundry in the mouth! lol.

 

Seriously though...it ticked my dh off so much to be "corrected" over something so basic, that he decided that he would rather hear grumbles about me doing all the laundry than argue with me over how to do it "right'. I also decided that having the laundry done my way was more important to me than the help.

 

PS. The kids learned how to do laundry at an early age, and now they wash their own clothes!

I'm very curious about what was incorrect in hubby's method.

[poppy]

Once upon a time there was a boy and girl who just got married.  They had a week of wedded bliss before laundry day arrived.  The boy ever so lovingly did a load of laundry, just like his mother had taught him.  The girl, being used to the way her (very picky) mother had taught her, thought that some gentle instruction may be needed.  She informed the boy that he was doing it wrong.  Twenty four years passed, and the boy has not willingly done the laundry one time.  

 

The moral of the story: don't look gift laundry in the mouth! lol.  

 

Seriously though...it ticked my dh off so much to be "corrected" over something so basic, that he decided that he would rather hear grumbles about me doing all the laundry than argue with me over how to do it "right'.  I also decided that having the laundry done my way was more important to me than the help. 

 

PS.  The kids learned how to do laundry at an early age, and now they wash their own clothes!  

 

Ha!!

 

Hey maybe this works in reserve. I'll just never fold. If i just stop helping my problems are solved! Kinda.

[The Girls' Mom]

I'm very curious about what was incorrect in hubby's method.

The cardinal sin of laundry:  He didn't sort.  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

ETA: Is it bad that 24 years later, I still remember exactly what he did wrong?

Edited October 15, 2016 by The Girls' Mom

[JustEm]

The cardinal sin of laundry: He didn't sort. :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

ETA: Is it bad that 24 years later, I still remember exactly what he did wrong?

Haha, I never sort! And my clothes always come out just a great as if I had sorted.

[Guest]

The cardinal sin of laundry: He didn't sort. :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

ETA: Is it bad that 24 years later, I still remember exactly what he did wrong?

My son doesn't sort. In his case, it usually doesn't matter because his clothes are predominently black or grey and a cotton fabric. Although recently, he had a dress-up day at school and I discovered he had thrown his Dry Clean Only suit slacks in the wash with all his other clothes. I found put before they went in the dryer, so maybe they were not ruined; I haven't checked yet.

[BooksandBoys]

I do it the same way your husband does, poppy, except when I take it out of the dryer, I dump the basket out on DH's side of the bed. Then he has to fold it before he gets in. :cool:

I've tried that. My DH will then dump the clean clothes on the floor and go to sleep. If I leave his folded clean clothes on the bed for him to put away, he dumps them on the floor. If I leave his folded clean clothes in the basket, he'll eventually wonder aloud why he has no clothes. Needless to say, laundry is my job. :-)

 

He also doesn't unpack his suitcase after he travels, then later wonders why he has no clean clothes. He appears to have finally emptied his suitcase into the hamper yesterday. Today, as he was trying to leave for another trip, he discovered that he had no clean underwear. :-) I'm working hard at not feeling guilty for not unpacking his suitcase for him last week. I draw the line at that level of enabling.

 

The actual need to do laundry does not enter into my DH's consciousness. If I ask for help, he forgets I asked. I taught my oldest how to start and swap laundry when he was 4 because Mama needed HELP. If only I could figure out how to teach them to fold...I'm considering switching to a separate hamper for each child so they could learn to fold without also having to sort their laundry from their brothers'.

[Lady Marmalade]

In the land of hubby's doing or not doing laundry...

 

DH works out of town during the week.  Right now it's Mon-Thurs, sometimes it's Mon-Fri.  Regardless of which it is, we do all the household laundry Wednesday and Thursday morning so that when he gets home Thursday night he can just pop his laundry in and get it done.  IN general, it's one load, and as soon as it comes out of the dryer it goes back in his suitcase for Monday morning.  Easy, right?

 

The last few weeks (this one included) he's been putting the laundry in the washer, and then just leaving it.   :confused1:   Seriously.  It's a very full washer, lid open, laundry just sitting there. Laundry is in the bathroom on the main floor- so it's not like he's not going in and out of that room over and over.  And when he's having his morning constitutional, it's in a position where he's literally staring at the open washer.  It would take ten seconds to add soap and run it, and I'm trying to figure out how one can load up the washer and then forget about it.   I'm going to need to do a load of the kids gross dance clothes tonight, and while I could run the washer for him.... IS this his way of trying to get me to do his laundry too after all these years?  

 

Hopefully he gets it running when he comes home a little bit later, because I also have some dishclothes/towels/rags/cloth napkins to wash up and those will get funky if I have to wait until Monday to get them done. 

[ksr5377]

OP, I feel your pain. Whenever DH helps me get caught up around the house he feels the need to make sure there are no dirty clothes in the entire house. That part is great. What is not great, is that he eliminates the pile of dirty laundry in the basement and MAKES a pile of clean laundry, unfolded in baskets in the living room for ME to fold, because he can't tell whose clothes are whose. He does put most of his clothing away, but still - there are 5 otheer people in the house. So then I have to finish that before I go to bed, because I can't stand waking up to a messy house.

[gardenmom5]

Same here. I always have one going in the washer and one in the dryer, but I do (almost) always fold them as I bring them out of the dryer.

 

My DH virtually never does laundry, though. My teen son does his own but he NEVER folds or puts them away again.

 

2ds saves up until he hasn't nothing left, and just tosses it in a basket.  then he dumps dirty clothes on the floor.  I KNOW he can clean his room by himself, because I've seen it.

he has a clean basket and a dirty basket.  mostly, he has two clean baskets and a floor.

 occasionally, he'll take his basket to the laundry room on laundry day for me to do (without asking me.).  I'm happy to help full time students who are working . . . 

 

1dd did pass on her freshman dorm story when someone shoved all. their. clothes. in the washer at once. the fire alarm went off and the building had to be evacuated at 2am.

 

Ha!!

 

Hey maybe this works in reserve. I'll just never fold. If i just stop helping my problems are solved! Kinda.

 

I have kids who did that with yard work. ok mom,  i'll weed . . . then they pull out plants as well as weeds. . . .

 

My son doesn't sort. In his case, it usually doesn't matter because his clothes are predominently black or grey and a cotton fabric. Although recently, he had a dress-up day at school and I discovered he had thrown his Dry Clean Only suit slacks in the wash with all his other clothes. I found put before they went in the dryer, so maybe they were not ruined; I haven't checked yet.

 

my brother did that once. . . my grandmother bought him a good quality wool suit (but khaki. really??? blech.) and he washed the pants.  the 70's were an UGLY!!!! decade.  they were toast.

Edited October 15, 2016 by gardenmom5

[The Girls' Mom]

Haha, I never sort! And my clothes always come out just a great as if I had sorted.

 

Wellll....when your dh is a diesel mechanic, wearing nasty navy blue uniforms, and he tries to wash them with your towels or whites, it doesn't end well.

[JustEm]

 

Wellll....when your dh is a diesel mechanic, wearing nasty navy blue uniforms, and he tries to wash them with your towels or whites, it doesn't end well.

Gross. My dh essentially wears pajamas to work so that is certainly not an issue.

[Caclcoca]

I have to admit that I do laundry like the OP's dh.  I always have the washer and dryer going at the same time.  I may or may not have time to fold when it is time to rotate.  If I waited until a load was completely finished before I started a new one, we would never have clean clothes.  I fold when I can. Everyone else helps when they can.  I only put away my own clothes.  Everyone else puts their own away (or not depending on the person).  We have very few items of clothing that get wrinkled.  I will just put the ones that do back into the dryer with a wet hand towel. I do try to catch my dh's shirts as they come out, so they do not get wrinkled.  

[RioSamba]

I've tried that. My DH will then dump the clean clothes on the floor and go to sleep. If I leave his folded clean clothes on the bed for him to put away, he dumps them on the floor. If I leave his folded clean clothes in the basket, he'll eventually wonder aloud why he has no clothes. Needless to say, laundry is my job. :-)

 

He also doesn't unpack his suitcase after he travels, then later wonders why he has no clean clothes. He appears to have finally emptied his suitcase into the hamper yesterday. Today, as he was trying to leave for another trip, he discovered that he had no clean underwear. :-) I'm working hard at not feeling guilty for not unpacking his suitcase for him last week. I draw the line at that level of enabling.

 

The actual need to do laundry does not enter into my DH's consciousness. If I ask for help, he forgets I asked. I taught my oldest how to start and swap laundry when he was 4 because Mama needed HELP. If only I could figure out how to teach them to fold...I'm considering switching to a separate hamper for each child so they could learn to fold without also having to sort their laundry from their brothers'.

I sort by person, combining youngest DS with my stuff (put away very close together and easy to tell apart). Actually I don't sort, because if DH doesn't interfere, people's clothes are separated from start to finish. The olders can do their own now, but it wouldn't work if they had a shared hamper.

[TranquilMind]

If the clothes are not folded immediately upon the dryer stopping, you kind of have wasted your time.  Sure, they smell good, but they are a wrinkled mess. Doing laundry means everything from collecting the basket to folding the now-clean clothes while still unwrinkled and putting them away in this house.

 

[TranquilMind]

I have to admit that I do laundry like the OP's dh.  I always have the washer and dryer going at the same time.  I may or may not have time to fold when it is time to rotate.  If I waited until a load was completely finished before I started a new one, we would never have clean clothes.  I fold when I can. Everyone else helps when they can.  I only put away my own clothes.  Everyone else puts their own away (or not depending on the person).  We have very few items of clothing that get wrinkled.  I will just put the ones that do back into the dryer with a wet hand towel. I do try to catch my dh's shirts as they come out, so they do not get wrinkled.  

 

I guess I do a hybrid.  I have both going, but clothes are immediately retrieved from the dryer and folded or hanged.  Otherwise they are wrinkled!  I can't stand wrinkled. 

[gardenmom5]

If the clothes are not folded immediately upon the dryer stopping, you kind of have wasted your time.  Sure, they smell good, but they are a wrinkled mess. Doing laundry means everything from collecting the basket to folding the now-clean clothes while still unwrinkled and putting them away in this house.

 

 

depends upon the fabric.  (I'm already ironing dh's wrinkle free shirts - because even if you hang them up instant the dryer stops - they aren't wrinkle free *enough*.)

 

sil never irons, nor does she pull stuff out when the dryer stops.

her mil . . .  ironed e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  (and I *mean* everything.)

[TranquilMind]

depends upon the fabric.  (I'm already ironing dh's wrinkle free shirts - because even if you hang them up instant the dryer stops - they aren't wrinkle free *enough*.)

 

sil never irons, nor does she pull stuff out when the dryer stops.

her mil . . .  ironed e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  (and I *mean* everything.)

 

I bought all those wrinkle-free shirts as soon as they came out. Aren't they great?  I was so tired of dry cleaning costs.

 

His are perfect so long as I take them out the moment the dryer stops.  The key to wrinkle free in my case is to cut the dryer load in half.  I wash a huge amount of stuff and then take half of it of like items (like heavyweight towels, or jeans, or maybe lightweight shirts) and dry only those.  Then nothing ever has wrinkles. 

 

I never iron either, unless I buy something that was 100% cotten and I didn't notice it. 

 

[gardenmom5]

I bought all those wrinkle-free shirts as soon as they came out. Aren't they great?  I was so tired of dry cleaning costs.

 

His are perfect so long as I take them out the moment the dryer stops.  The key to wrinkle free in my case is to cut the dryer load in half.  I wash a huge amount of stuff and then take half of it of like items (like heavyweight towels, or jeans, or maybe lightweight shirts) and dry only those.  Then nothing ever has wrinkles. 

 

I never iron either, unless I buy something that was 100% cotten and I didn't notice it. 

 

 

his wrinkle free go in the permanent press/woven pile. I have an extra-large dryer.   the load is very *small* to start out with, mostly only a few dress shirts.  sheets are their own loads.