Would you say something in this situation

[lynn]

We were at the zoo in the Unseen world exhibit that has step ups for kids to look into windows to see spiders, snakes etc. There were several apparently unsupervised kids going in the wrong direction pushing their way to look into the windows. I did speak up and told them "they were going the wrong way" which was met by a shoulder shrug I then said, "it does matter because you could hurt someone"....that someone being my children that were going in the right direction who were about to unintentionally be pushed off the bench. So is it right or wrong to give direction to these children?

[TN Mama]

I'm unsure if it is right or wrong, but I would probably have said something as well.

[iquilt]

I've been encountering a lot of this type of unsupervised behavior lately and I must say I'm getting fed up with it all. Today my children had stones thrown at them by some toddlers who were playing without apparent supervision; yesterday my daughter got kicked by a kid at church while waiting for choir while his mom watched on. She asked him if he needed a time-out and he said no so she let him continue playing without any further comment. I'm fed up with it all and I'm hoping I'll have the nerve to speak up next time.

[ncmomo3]

I'm unsure if it is right or wrong, but I would probably have said something as well.

Same here.

[joannqn]

My husband and I frequently confront unsupervised kids. We figure someone's got to supervise them if their parents aren't, especially if there's a safety issue.

[sticer]

I would definately speak up and ask them to go the other way.

[Jean in Newcastle]

As concerned citizens who have legal rights to be un-assaulted in public, we have the right to speak up. We don't have the right to administer consequences to the children (or adults) when they ignore us!

[East Coast Sue]

I want to speak up, but my blood pressure soars when the kid that I have offered a gentle, but clear correction to responds with an insubordinate, rude comment and continues to do the unsafe and unacceptable act with a defiant attitude.

 

It would be so much better if the correction worked half the time but in my experience it doesn't help.

 

Susan

[Renai]

As concerned citizens who have legal rights to be un-assaulted in public, we have the right to speak up. We don't have the right to administer consequences to the children (or adults) when they ignore us!

 

:iagree:. In fact, I had to speak up last night at AWANAS- not my church, and I didn't know the rude, disrespectful child who was sitting behind the teacher mimicking her and making faces. Most times though, it's public places, and there's the potential of getting hurt. So, I would have said something in that instance.

[Zelda]

I'm unsure if it is right or wrong, but I would probably have said something as well.

 

:iagree:

[Joanne]

I want to speak up, but my blood pressure soars when the kid that I have offered a gentle, but clear correction to responds with an insubordinate, rude comment and continues to do the unsafe and unacceptable act with a defiant attitude.

 

It would be so much better if the correction worked half the time but in my experience it doesn't help.

 

Is that your experience?

 

I can only think of a few rare times when my public correction was met with rudeness, defiance or hostility. That includes telling a group of rough looking (mowhawk'ed even! ;)) and repeatedly pierced kids to "watch their language" around the little kids. :D

 

I try to meet more correction/admonishment to what I perceive to the be situation:

 

"Hey, guys! Go the way of the signs!"

 

"Knock it off, that's rude!"

 

"Pardon me, we were here first"

 

"Stop or I'll find your adult"

 

I also try not to give "debatable" info such as "that's dangerous".

 

All in all, I have not needed to correct many kids in public but I have not hesitated to do so if I felt it was needed.

 

I have to admit, though, I wish I could go back and "do over" some moments from when I was a mom of one young less physical kid. ;) I had unfair and unrealistic expectations of older kids in play settings. I'd like to apologize.

[Samiam]

Now, I am kind of on both sides....nothing can make me angrier than someone else trying to disipline/correct my children. Someone I don't know,and who doesn't know my children. I am usually right on my children, so most times, if they are doing something, and I am not correcting them, then I don't think they are doing anything wrong. There are so many points of view to any situation. A mother with only girls might think my boys are loud, or too wild, etc. Meanwhile I am fine with it if it is in appropriate situation. I could tell you a number of times where I had to chew out some adult who thought they had the right to approach my child and correct them. Because I WAS watching and knew exactly what was happening, I also saw the adult heading that way, followed after, and advised them that they were not to speak to my child, if they had an issue, they should be speaking to me, etc etc.

 

But on the other hand, I do tend to correct children if there is no one else doing it. Like I said, I am "on" my children. But all too often, like at parks, etc, I see the parents off on a bench, on the phone, whatever, NOT watching what their children are doing. If it is detrimental to my own children, I would say something to that child. It doesn't have to be mean. Often a word or too from a adult, who is not their parent, and the child will straigthen right up.

 

So I guess I am kind of two-faced about it :(( :)))

K

[newbie]

You did right thing, they needed guidance, and noone was there to provide it. It was your civic duty.

[melissel]

As concerned citizens who have legal rights to be un-assaulted in public, we have the right to speak up. We don't have the right to administer consequences to the children (or adults) when they ignore us!

 

As good as it would feel!!! But yeah, I would have said something, and I don't think it's wrong at all.

[melissel]

Is that your experience?

 

I can only think of a few rare times when my public correction was met with rudeness, defiance or hostility. That includes telling a group of rough looking (mowhawk'ed even! ;)) and repeatedly pierced kids to "watch their language" around the little kids. :D

 

Unfortunately, I've had the opposite experience as well. I've only had to say something to someone else's kid a few times, but each time I've been met with snotty looks or a shoulder shrug, and the kid continuing to do whatever it was they were doing. My mom told a bunch of older kids who were being extremely inappropriate at the park to watch their mouths (she had my two girls with her), and they got very obnoxious and aggressive. She ended up having to leave.

 

It stinks.

[Mom to Aly]

I feel if their parents send them out unsupervised, they are expecting them to be able to act in the correct manner; if they are incapable of that, they need assistance. As the adult presence, I am glad to lend a hand, when necessary ;).

[Guest janainaz]

If my kids or other kids could get hurt, I would surely say something! I think it was fine and if they were my kids, I would have appreciated you doing so.

[kalanamak]

I just know it wasn't any of the children of people on this board, but at our state homeschool conference, a pack of kids, without parents, were cutting right ahead of all the littles and their parents to get to the radio controlled boats. The poor teens hired to run it weren't up to managing them. Hubby finally took one bodily by the shoulder and moved ahead at a crucial moment. Later he said if the kid had persisted, he would have quietly picked him up and put him back over the barrier. After missing three groups of kids moving ahead, he'd had it.

[Murphy101]

Not wrong at all.

If the parents aren't going to watch their kid, then they get what they get.

 

If the parent is there.. that's a bit tricker.

[joannqn]

I just know it wasn't any of the children of people on this board, but at our state homeschool conference, a pack of kids, without parents, were cutting right ahead of all the littles and their parents to get to the radio controlled boats. The poor teens hired to run it weren't up to managing them. Hubby finally took one bodily by the shoulder and moved ahead at a crucial moment. Later he said if the kid had persisted, he would have quietly picked him up and put him back over the barrier. After missing three groups of kids moving ahead, he'd had it.

 

I know what you mean. We had issues there, too. I moved my kids in front of them and told them that they had to wait their turn like everyone else.

 

I usually try give the kids' parents a chance to parent before stepping in, either by waiting to see if someone corrects their child or by commenting to my kids about appropriate behavior. Usually I'll say something like, "I know how much it sucks to have other kids do x when you are following the rules." If the parent doesn't take the hint, I'll say something. Usually kids will listen if you are assertive and firm. If I do get a bad attitude from them, I'll enlist the help of someone in charge (ie. staff). I'll also attempt to find the parent if I can, especially when the child has deliberately tried to hurt mine.

[jmgconner]

Oooh, I hate those types of situations. I never know what to do, and I hate it when they don't bother listening to me in the first place.

 

ETA: My story was rude to the person I was telling it about. I've deleted my story.

Edited October 10, 2008 by jmgconner

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I usually try give the kids' parents a chance to parent before stepping in, either by waiting to see if someone corrects their child or by commenting to my kids about appropriate behavior. Usually I'll say something like, "I know how much it sucks to have other kids do x when you are following the rules."

 

I had to do something like this to a group of adults. We had waited for a hotel shuttle van to pick us up for over a half hour. When the van came a large group of adults came, pushed past me and my three kids and another mom and her two kids and hopped into the van. There wasn't room for everyone in the van and there wasn't another one scheduled for two hours. I told the other mom to go ahead and get in (her kids were younger) and turned to the driver and very loudly said that there weren't enough seats for the children because the other group had cut in line in front of families who had been waiting. All of the adults in the group were pointedly looking off in the other direction and not at me or the driver (who was very sweet and made a special trip back to get us).