How do I teach my son to tie his shoes?

[*********]

Listen, I realize it's not that complicated. :001_smile: But I can't figure out where to start. He's my oldest, almost 5 1/2, and I figure it's time he learns how. Please, you more experienced parents, tell me what you did. Did you get a book, toy, video, or just go the old-fashioned use-your-sneakers route?

 

I really don't want to teach him the 'make two bunny ears then knot them together' way, since I don't think that's the way most adults tie thier shoes. I want to go the 'make a loop, take the rabbit around the loop, the rabbit comes up the hole, etc.' way.

 

Wow, I hope other people understand what I mean. I sound kinda nutty... :tongue_smilie:

[Desert Rat]

Jeez! I wish I knew! My oldest is 8 and gets the basic concept of tying his shoes but just can't get it down well enough to keep them tied. I would say lots and lots of practice and patience. I've decided not to stress about it even though I feel like he's the only kid who can't tie his shoes. He'll get it. FWIW, I taught him to make a loop and run around and pop up the hole too. I have met a few adults who still tie with 2 bunny ears. I'll be watching this thread for any good pointers the hive might have.

[lighthouseacademy]

There is a really nice book by Usborne called Tie a Bow book. It gives the opportunity to tie lots of different textures and it also shows a pair of shoes so the child can learn to tie facing the shoes and tie above the shoes IYKWIM.

 

I taught my son to make a loop, wrap around the loop and then poke through the hole that was created by the thumb when you wrapped the loop. He is a lefty and was tying upside down for a while (don't ask me how he did that!) but I figured out how to tie left handed and when I showed him he got it. FWIW I think I waited until he was 6 and asking how to tie before I bothered.

[abbeyej]

I just sat the kids down and practiced. Not the cheater way, the normal way. Both were about 5 when I finally did it...

 

I just said, "Now you're going to learn to tie your shoes... We start like this." And when they could cross one lace over the other, and pull it back through underneath, I taught them to make a loop. When they could do that, we wrapped the other lace around and pulled it through the hole. And we did it over and over.

 

And then the next time I thought about it, we practiced again.

 

And then I'd say, "Okay, I'll tie this one, if you'll tie that one"...

 

And then I said, "No, you tie them, I have to gather these things up before we go."

 

And then I said, "Okay, okay, if you can't get them tight enough, I'll tie them, but you have to try first!"

 

lol...

 

;)

 

It's really not that hard -- it just takes a little time and patience (on both sides). :)

[Starr]

Each of my dc use a different method but at age 5 I think I'd opt for the velcro sneakers. :)

[Guest janainaz]

Just did it over and over again, very slowly. They get it - eventually!

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

LOL, Ab..."not the cheater way." Grin. You're hardcore! (smile)

[Kanga]

I just wanted to add:

 

If you are a righty and so are they sit behind them or with the dc on your lap, and then follow the previous instructions. (You can also sit beside them but then your arms will partially block their view.) If you or your dh are the opposite handedness (I just verbogenerated that one) sit in front of your dc facing them and then show them how to tie there shoes or tie yours while they follow along on theirs.

[hornblower]

My solution is: Crocs.

 

I gave up. He kind of knows now because he practiced tying various knots for boats & sails & rigging up things in the trees - but apparently when it's down there, on your feet, it's way too hard to do. I think he's actually not flexible enough to get there comfortably and stay there for the length of time it takes him to do a good knot.

 

Ds is 10 :eek:

[Laura Corin]

I decided that, due to the advent of velcro, this was something that we could ignore until my boys' fine motor skills were actually up to it. Calvin learned at nine (he has some delays); Hobbes at 8 (normal skills). Each learned, without fuss or frustration, in a few minutes, when the time was right.

 

Laura

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

I decided that, due to the advent of velcro, this was something that we could ignore until my boys' fine motor skills were actually up to it. Calvin learned at nine (he has some delays); Hobbes at 8 (normal skills). Each learned, without fuss or frustration, in a few minutes, when the time was right.

 

Laura

:iagree: with waiting.

I had totally given up on my first son. Then he wanted specific tie shoes. I showed him one (more) time in the shoe aisle. He got it and has been tying independently since. He was 7.5 and I just figured his motor skills had finally matured enough that it was not a struggle. Now, with my younger kids, it is a non-issue. They'll tie when they tie.

[Bee]

I noticed that all of the other girls in her dance class, most of whom are the same age or older, all wear slip on or velcro shoes.And my dd is a busy,busy girl.She has better things to do than stop and tie shoes so she prefers to leave them double knotted and just slip them on and off.

[Ria]

I can't remember how I taught the twins. What I do remember is paying the older kids to teach the younger ones after that. LOL.

 

Ria

[*********]

Ok, so over all, I'm getting that maybe I should wait until his fine motor skills develop a little more. I just thought that Kindergarten age is when most children learned to tie their own shoes. I guess I was hoping there was some 'secret' to it that I didn't know. :)

[Laura Corin]

Ok, so over all, I'm getting that maybe I should wait until his fine motor skills develop a little more. I just thought that Kindergarten age is when most children learned to tie their own shoes. :)

 

For practical reasons, in the years before Velcro, children had to learn to struggle with their own laces. These days one can leave it until later, when it comes easier.

 

Laura

[Faline]

I agree with waiting. It is so much easier for many kids if they are older when they learn to tie.

[Aubrey]

I thought dc had to learn around K age, too. I worked in a preschool, & the teachers were always aggravated w/ dc who wore tying shoes but couldn't tie them.

 

So when ds was 4, I was teaching (highschool), & we had a girl staying w/ him & dd. I put it on a list of things for him to learn. :D

 

But then the school yr ended, & it was me home w/ him. The shoes I'd gotten for him to learn on were dress shoes, so the 2 times or so he needed to wear them, I tied them, & ever since then, I have simply walked down the shoe aisle w/ shame, noticing that tie shoes were becoming more & more obsolete as our country slips into an abyss of educational demise. (I'm joking.)

 

Until a couple of weeks ago, when he chose a pair of tie shoes, put them on, & tied them. Voila! (IOW, it's still a mystery to me.)

[SapphireStitch]

My son is not gifted in the fine motor skills area...and we had an overachieving girl first, so we'd never dealt with this till last year. We tried books, practicing, sitting behind him, holding his hands, everything. DH was getting frustrated because he was of the "tie your shoes by kindergarten" view and DS was 6.5 yo.

 

My idea was to buy velcro shoes, but they never fit quite as well as a nicely snugged-up tie shoe. So we kept trying. I heard somebody talk about the "bunny ears" method and didn't know what it was. So I looked on Youtube and found a video of a little girl doing the "bunny ears". DS watched it two times and figured it out from there.

 

I don't really care HOW he ties them as long as they're tied. I've seen him compare shoe-tying skills with kids at church so maybe he'll pick up the traditional method if he likes the look of it. I'm just happy to be able to get out the door without dealing with his shoes!

[cjzimmer1]

Well I'll admit I've been extremely lazy in this department and haven't bothered to teach any of my kids how to tie their shoes because I could just buy them velcro. Solved the problem for everyone. A couple of months my oldest needed shoes and so we went to get him some. Discovered he is now in Men's shoes so of course the velcro options are pretty limited. I showed him ONCE how to tie his shoes and now he can do it. I know most people say around 5 a kid can do it but it takes them so much practice. I just waited till he was much older (10 1/2). It really wasn't a needed skill for us before now.

[herbalgirl]

We're just taking the route of practice, practice, practice. One day it will click!

[abbeyej]

Ok, so over all, I'm getting that maybe I should wait until his fine motor skills develop a little more. I just thought that Kindergarten age is when most children learned to tie their own shoes. I guess I was hoping there was some 'secret' to it that I didn't know. :)

 

Truly, I didn't find it difficult or time-consuming to teach 5yos to tie their shoes. I think learning to perform and practicing a skill like that actually helps *improve* fine motor skills.

[dcjlkplus3]

my oldest just turned 7 a month ago, we have worked on it on and off for the past year or so, whenever me or my HD would remember (most of her shoes don't tie, or else she leaves them tied and would slip them on and off). She got her heeleys for her birthday and can tie them, mostly (she still needs some help). We both taught her both ways, so I am not really sure how she does it, but they are usually tied.:D

[drama_mama]

I cheat, I have no patience with this skill and teaching a little one so I pay an older kid $5 to teach the younger one and everyones happy. They seem to teach each other in an hour or so of trying and no one ends up in tears or screaming. For the first I paid a neighbor kid..lol.

[Susan in KY]

My name is Susan and I still tie my shoes with bunny ears.

 

That is all.

 

:D

[*********]

Susan, I meant no offense to the 'bunny-tying' adult population. :001_smile:

 

Well good grief, now I'm just as confused as when I originally posted the question. I guess we'll just keep practicing, and he'll get it sooner or later.

[Robin M]

This makes me feel so much better. My 9 year old hates tying his shoes and will wear clogs all the time, rather than having to put on a pair of tennis shoes. Hubby forbade velcro shoes. "He has to learn to tie his shoes!"

 

We incorporated shoe tying into our lessons and had him tie his shoes daily for a couple weeks. He got it and life went on. However, he "forgets" conveniently and just doesn't want to do it.

 

Oh and we did the bunny ears thing. Whatever works to get it done.

 

Glad he isn't the only one. :)

 

Robin