Why do strangers think they can touch my baby?

[momee]

We were at the grocery store and a woman was messing with her ear. She then proceeds to say what a cute baby and GRAB HER HAND and stroke her cheeks.

 

This happens ALL the time to us.

 

Now, I'll admit I have the post partum momma instinct going on but my GOODness. People just would never do such stroking to me, or to my older kids. WHAT makes them think they can touch her?

 

AND the real question, what do I do about it? I'm serious, people shake hands with each other, pick their noses, hold the grocery cart, grab meat, oh my. Then they decide to touch my baby.

 

Ok. Rant over.

[Twinmom]

Tell them "please admire from afar...my baby gets sick really easily, she seems to pick up germs just by thinking about it! She is cute, isn't she? Thanks for noticing."

 

That's pretty much what I told everyone who wanted to touch my twins...one baby is hard enough to keep folks away from, but a matched set really attracts a crowd! ;)

[PariSarah]

. . . twins, who were preemies and are still immuno-compromised, and I know infection will be a major concern. I don't think people really understand how medically fragile some babies are.

 

Most, though, can handle being touched by a stranger in a grocery store. So I'm sure you're precious one will be fine. Doesn't make it any less frustrating for you, though, does it?:001_smile:

 

I guess babies just bring out the idiots in all of us! (My mother and MIL, Lord bless 'em, were reasonable, intelligent women before Isaac was born. Now, they're loony as grapefruits.)

[Twinmom]

Sarah, pass on my response to your friend and tell her to get tough fast or be prepared to stay indoors! ;) My boys were immuno-compromised as well...it was a tough go.

[Remudamom]

If you want to keep strangers from touching your baby, keep yourself in a good position and intercept their hand. Add an apologetic explanation that your baby is very suceptible (there's another word I can't spell) to infections and then let them deal with it.

 

I love to admire babies, but never touch. My girls are also baby fans, but I always made sure they didn't touch too. Touching is rude.

[Jen500]

I learned to stand right next to my baby, and I'd physically stand in the way of anyone touching him, and just say "Please don't touch him". There's nothing wrong with not wanting strangers to touch your baby.

[cathmom]

Carry the baby in a sling and people don't want to invade your personal space (usually). Of course this doesn't work with twins. We basically stayed home the first six months although my twins were healthy.

[3lilreds in NC]

I have to confess that I am one who has a hard time not touching babies, so I understand the urge. You see them and they are so cute and squishy and you just want to cuddle them! But, having also been a mama with severe anxiety and therefore issues with people touching my children, I've learned to control myself. ;)

 

People who want to touch babies don't think about the germs. They just want to love on those beautiful little people. If they got to know you, they'd want to love on you, too, but you don't have that cherubic infant innocence anymore that just sucks people in. :D

 

I'm not trying to make light of how you feel. I'm truly not. I *have* a baby, for heaven's sake, and I know about the germs and it skeeves me out. I'm just saying that I have this insane urge to touch babies because I love them so much. I know better, so don't so it unless I have permission, but it can be hard. So, like Remudamom said, keep yourself close so you can come between any of us baby-touchers and remind us about the germs and stuff.

[Sammy]

They're trying to steal her youth. :)

[Reya]

We were at the grocery store and a woman was messing with her ear. She then proceeds to say what a cute baby and GRAB HER HAND and stroke her cheeks.

 

This happens ALL the time to us.

 

Now, I'll admit I have the post partum momma instinct going on but my GOODness. People just would never do such stroking to me, or to my older kids. WHAT makes them think they can touch her?

 

AND the real question, what do I do about it? I'm serious, people shake hands with each other, pick their noses, hold the grocery cart, grab meat, oh my. Then they decide to touch my baby.

 

Ok. Rant over.

 

No one ever tried this with mine, but it does make you tempted to do the Mexican American thing and cover the baby with a light blanket, huh? (Actually, that does have to do with cultural touching norms--superstitions that, over time, lost the superstitious quality and turned into just plain traditions.)

[Erica in PA]

It actually didn't bother me much when people touched my kids when they were babies. I just figured they were so adorable, people couldn't resist. :001_smile: I don't tend to touch other people's babies in public, though.

 

BUT, there was one disgusting incident along those lines that is burned in my memory. My firstborn child was about 4 months old, and I took him on campus where I had been a student the previous year. I was talking to a group of friends, when a male acquaintance came up to us and admired the baby who was sitting on my lap. He was touching his face and arms, which made me slightly uncomfortable, because this guy was not known for his good hygiene. :ack2: I went on talking with my friends, then I glanced down to check on the baby, and was horrified to see that this man's greasy, dirty finger was in my baby's mouth, up to the third knuckle!!!!! My precious baby was sucking on that filthy thing. I gasped and yanked the baby away quickly, without much thought for being polite. I can't remember whether I said anything about it or not, but I will never forget the sight of that finger buried in my baby's mouth. :ack2::ack2:

 

Erica

[Amy loves Bud]

I know. I'm pretty grumpy about it. The other day the checker at the grocery store reached over the counter to stroke Romy's cheek. Think about all the things that woman had been touching. Blech. I asked her not to.

 

I usually give a pass to old people though. I love it when old folks dote on my baby. Love. It.

[Tammy]

by someone stroking his cheek....or holding the baby's hand....then keep the baby home, LOL!

 

None of my kids went out with me (except to the dr.) until they were at least 6 months old!

 

I always admire babies when I am out....but I usually grab their cute little feet, LOL!

 

Tammy

[Plucky]

Me, too. They are so irresistable.

[Danestress]

None of my kids went out with me (except to the dr.) until they were at least 6 months old!

 

 

Really? How on earth did you manage that? Was it a decision you made for a reason, or just the way things worked out?

 

My babies did everything with me prior to being 6 months. They went to my older son's school and his soccer practices and music performances, they went to the grocery and the bank and the dry cleaner. They went on hikes and to the library and to museums (which they got nothing out of, lol), but I was there for myself.

 

I can't remember anyone trying to touch their faces. Feet were fair game, though.

[OnTheBrink]

Sometimes, you just have to say, "no!" When dd was an infant, we were at Pizza Hut. The server was just dying to hold her and I adamantly refused. This woman was covered from stem to stern in flour, dough and God knows what else. I'm not a germaphobe, but FCOL, this woman was just messy! She kept asking and asking and I kept saying NO. Then she wanted to know why! I just said, "I don't allow strangers to hold my baby, even friendly ones!" (especially friendly ones).

 

People are weird.

 

Another strange incident regarding my dd when she was a newborn: we were at Walmart in Rolla, MO. I was in the baby section, getting diapers or something, when a group of 5 people--3 women, 2 men-- approached and asked to see her. Dd was in her car seat with a blanket over the handle, so you couldn't see her face at all. These people gave me the creeps from the get-go, so I politely said she was sleeping and moved away. Well, they followed me, saying over and over, "We just want to see the baby!" and "Can we see the baby?" The men in the group were wearing brown work pants and tan work shirts, and both had long beards (ala ZZ Top). The women were in calico and denim with kerchiefs on their heads. I was petrified they were from some cult and wanted to steal her. So, I grabbed the cart and hurriedly left the baby department and they followed me. I was in tears, almost running to find a manager or EX or anyone. When I found EX, I turned around the the people were gone. SCARY.

[The Governess]

When we were in Taiwan adopting our youngest, we brought dd4 with us (she was nearly 3 then). Complete strangers (all women) would just come over and pick her up! We were all caught a little off guard by that. But that is normal in their culture, and it's helped me understand that not everyone has been brought up in a "look but don't touch" environment when it comes to children.

 

Babies are such a joy and a blessing that I think it's hard for people to keep their hands to themselves sometimes. :001_smile: I don't particularly like strangers touching my children, and I wouldn't just go up and touch a stranger's baby myself, but if safety isn't an issue then I usually just bite my tongue and remind myself that my kids are bringing joy to someone else's life.

[Scarlett]

When we were in Taiwan adopting our youngest, we brought dd4 with us (she was nearly 3 then). Complete strangers (all women) would just come over and pick her up! We were all caught a little off guard by that. But that is normal in their culture, and it's helped me understand that not everyone has been brought up in a "look but don't touch" environment when it comes to children.

 

Babies are such a joy and a blessing that I think it's hard for people to keep their hands to themselves sometimes. :001_smile: I don't particularly like strangers touching my children, and I wouldn't just go up and touch a stranger's baby myself, but if safety isn't an issue then I usually just bite my tongue and remind myself that my kids are bringing joy to someone else's life.

 

I agree with this post most of all. I don't recall if strangers tried to touch my ds or not....probably because he is particularly gorgeous ;). I do remember a not very clean person I sort of know who wanted to hold him...and I didn't LOVE it, but I also didn't think ds would die of germs. I think we might go overboard with the whole germ thing...and I do realize there are exceptions to that with compromised immune systems..but most babies are very germ resisitant. I think they bring a lot of joy...and it makes me sad that I might creep some mother out by making over her baby and touching the baby in any way. FWIW I would NEVER stick my fingers in a baby's mouth...OR touch babies hands...but I have been known to touch the sleeve of a baby or the foreheard. Now of course, I will have to think twice. :(

 

I miss the days of strangers peeking in to see my ds...now he is 8 1/2 and apparently they see all they want of him. :)

[rockermom]

 

Another strange incident regarding my dd when she was a newborn: we were at Walmart in Rolla, MO. I was in the baby section, getting diapers or something, when a group of 5 people--3 women, 2 men-- approached and asked to see her. Dd was in her car seat with a blanket over the handle, so you couldn't see her face at all. These people gave me the creeps from the get-go, so I politely said she was sleeping and moved away. Well, they followed me, saying over and over, "We just want to see the baby!" and "Can we see the baby?" The men in the group were wearing brown work pants and tan work shirts, and both had long beards (ala ZZ Top). The women were in calico and denim with kerchiefs on their heads. I was petrified they were from some cult and wanted to steal her. So, I grabbed the cart and hurriedly left the baby department and they followed me. I was in tears, almost running to find a manager or EX or anyone. When I found EX, I turned around the the people were gone. SCARY.

 

I would have been so afraid. I'm glad you got away from them.

[chaik76]

I don't think I've ever touched a baby out in public...(church is a different story...we all pass the babies around). I don't think anyone's ever tried to touch my baby either, but I seem to give off "stand back" vibes when I'm in public...I think. But I haven't seen much of that in general anyway. I don't know that it would bother me if my baby were healthy (immuno-suppressed would be a different story). Hmm...something to think about.

[K&Rs Mom]

They're trying to steal her youth. :)

 

Believe it or not, this actually happened with MIL when K was a baby! :ohmy: We were visiting, she was being wierd, we know she's into some neo-pagan stuff, so dh called her on it, and she admitted/explained it and said she'd stop if it's a problem for us. Not that we'll EVER leave her alone w/ dc!

 

For the rest of the general public, though, your taking care of baby outweighs politeness, so you can (justifiably) say "please don't touch" or just move baby out of reach. Most people don't take more than one try before they get the hint and give up.

[Part-Time Homeschooler]

When my dd4 was a newborn, one of the greeters in Walmart actually kissed her on the cheek! I was mortified and ran directly to the aisle with the anti-bacterial wipes and thoroughly wiped her face after I paid for them. People really should know better than to touch a stranger's infant. They can spread colds, the flu, and much worse. The woman who kissed my daughter could have given her a cold sore, for heaven's sake!

[GreenKitty]

We were at the grocery store and a woman was messing with her ear. She then proceeds to say what a cute baby and GRAB HER HAND and stroke her cheeks.

 

This happens ALL the time to us.

 

Now, I'll admit I have the post partum momma instinct going on but my GOODness. People just would never do such stroking to me, or to my older kids. WHAT makes them think they can touch her?

 

AND the real question, what do I do about it? I'm serious, people shake hands with each other, pick their noses, hold the grocery cart, grab meat, oh my. Then they decide to touch my baby.

 

Ok. Rant over.

 

This happened to me all the time. I ended up buying those car seat covers that enclose the entire seat so only the head area is open and/or I would leave the sun shade up. If anyone started to touch them I would clearly say, "Do not touch my child". To which most people were fine and would smile and say something about that being a good thing in the end. Though their were a few who would look at me in horror and ask if my child had a disease! Then I got the chance to tell them, "No, but I fear you might". :D

[ChrisN in NY]

We were at the grocery store and a woman was messing with her ear. She then proceeds to say what a cute baby and GRAB HER HAND and stroke her cheeks.

 

This happens ALL the time to us.

 

Now, I'll admit I have the post partum momma instinct going on but my GOODness. People just would never do such stroking to me, or to my older kids. WHAT makes them think they can touch her?

 

AND the real question, what do I do about it? I'm serious, people shake hands with each other, pick their noses, hold the grocery cart, grab meat, oh my. Then they decide to touch my baby.

 

Ok. Rant over.

 

My youngest turns nine this week; I honestly don't remember dealing with this much, but then we didn't go out much either.

 

I do have a solution, but I'm not sure that I'm even bold enough to actually do such a thing myself.

 

But I imagine if you touched THEIR ear, grab THEIR hand, and/or stroke THEIR cheek, they'd withdraw pretty darn quickly. They might even think your nuts. :drool: