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dmmetler

Would you move the whole family for the needs of one child?

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I think it's all important--job, house, climate, school, happiness.  We are staying where we are to keep a kid in his school despite a horrid housing market.  If it weren't for #1's school, I'd have left last year.  Would I move for a school for him?  If I was certain that employment and housing would work out, yes, but only if it would significantly improve happiness.

 

I think what I wouldn't do is move somewhere that you're at risk for DH being out of a job or having financial difficulties.  Because that is the highest priority.  I get the humidity issue--use a humidifier in the house.  Eventually he'll get used to it, but it does take time.  I had the opposite problem--moved from a desert to a city off the water and felt like I was going to suffocate when it was humid out.  But I got used to it after a couple of years.  

 

These are hard decisions.  One thing to ask yourself, is can you move back after your DD has graduated.  Can you and your husband view this as a 6 year commitment only and be happy?

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I think right now we're at the "apply, but look at other options", too, stage.

 

Unfortunately, DD was at a party tonight and mentioned her excitement at possibly going for real, and got a "So, you think you're too good for us" response. She's feeling guilty for wanting to go :(.

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Unfortunately, DD was at a party tonight and mentioned her excitement at possibly going for real, and got a "So, you think you're too good for us" response. She's feeling guilty for wanting to go :(.

 

I haven't had much to say so have just been reading quietly. But this. This indicates a strong reason to consider moving there. She shouldn't feel guilty. If they cannot accept her decision or at least support it, then they don't deserve to be her "friends/ community".

 

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I'm not sure where you are, but would you consider moving to a city that has good magnet high schools, or private schools that offer opportunities for kids to work in local university labs?  I went to a private high school in Boston that catered to kids who sound a lot like your daughter, and it was an academically rigorous environment, very intellectually stimulating, but still lots of fun.  And the school had good relationships with lots of labs in the area (mostly through parents of students), and so kids were often hired for paid or volunteer gigs that usually went to college students.  And, fwiw, the prices on private schools in Boston/NY/DC/etc are sky high, but they give lots and lots of financial aid.

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There are some decent folks, and we've carved out a group of academic homeschoolers (who a year ago were saying that we should go for it), but there also is a lot of anti-academic sentiment, and lack of support. What's frustrating is that if it had been a gymnastics (or soccer, or basically any other sport) camp and a chance to start training with a high level coach, she never would have gotten such a response.

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I'm not sure where you are, but would you consider moving to a city that has good magnet high schools, or private schools that offer opportunities for kids to work in local university labs? I went to a private high school in Boston that catered to kids who sound a lot like your daughter, and it was an academically rigorous environment, very intellectually stimulating, but still lots of fun. And the school had good relationships with lots of labs in the area (mostly through parents of students), and so kids were often hired for paid or volunteer gigs that usually went to college students. And, fwiw, the prices on private schools in Boston/NY/DC/etc are sky high, but they give lots and lots of financial aid.

If there was a good option, yes. The hard part with magnets is that usually you have to be local to apply, so you'd have to move first and then go for it. There's one in Minnesota that sounds awesome-but you can't apply, get accepted, and then move. I haven't really looked at private schools much.

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She shouldn't feel guilty. If they cannot accept her decision or at least support it, then they don't deserve to be her "friends/ community".

 

I agree she shouldn't feel guilty. However friends do feel left behind and some just blurt hurt feelings out instead of holding them in check.

 

When I was in the gifted programme which was in a big elite school, there was schoolmates not in the programme who thinks that they are not good enough to make the acquaintance of those in the programme.

 

I have had guys classmates who didn't dare ask me out just because of my grades (which aren't even spectacular).

 

Give them the grace of time. This is an age where kids are forming their identity and it is so hard for their brain to override their heart.

 

ETA:

Just read OP's facebook post. It is a parent which should know better :( I was guessing kids from 10-18 years old.

Edited by Arcadia
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there also is a lot of anti-academic sentiment, and lack of support. What's frustrating is that if it had been a gymnastics (or soccer, or basically any other sport) camp and a chance to start training with a high level coach, she never would have gotten such a response.

Oooh.  That'll do it. Outsider status from the start, huh? That other posse lookin' pretty good right now?

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If there was a good option, yes. The hard part with magnets is that usually you have to be local to apply, so you'd have to move first and then go for it. There's one in Minnesota that sounds awesome-but you can't apply, get accepted, and then move. I haven't really looked at private schools much.

Then you've got to consider moving to an urban/suburban area with critical mass and multiple passable school options (private, magnet, etc.)... That way you've stacked your deck.  Loved MetroWest Boston (suburbs west of Boston)!  It was home only for a few years... and I haven't lived there in a very long time, but it still feels like home.  Substantially colder than TN, though. Do you like snow?

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Tell her that that was her friends way of saying they'll miss her.

 

(Unless you think it's patently untrue.)

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Sadly, it's not the kids...most of them seem to "get" that DD just thinks differently than they do, and pretty much have a "she's a geek, but she's OUR geek" attitude."

 

My guess is that the person meant it as a joke-or, at least, will claim it was such. But such comments haven't been uncommon when DD is herself outside of a limited friends circle. And while the adult may claim to be joking, they hurt. Especially to a kid like DD who sees no humor in tearing someone down.

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Then you've got to consider moving to an urban/suburban area with critical mass and multiple passable school options (private, magnet, etc.)... That way you've stacked your deck.  Loved MetroWest Boston (suburbs west of Boston)!  It was home only for a few years... and I haven't lived there in a very long time, but it still feels like home.  Substantially colder than TN, though. Do you like snow?

 

Agreed.  I'd probably move to a place like Brookline (even though housing prices are $$$$, there are rentals that cost less).  And then you can also apply to some of the "top" privates in the Boston area, and see what you think and if you get financial aid (I don't know if that's actually an issue, but these schools are about $40k a year, so many, many families are on aid).  BU High has kids taking college classes at BU, Commonwealth is known for being tiny but super rigorous, Windsor is an excellent girl's school, and I'd include Nobles and Milton on the list (both have boarding and day options... I assume you'd just do boarding school if you were interested in it, instead of just moving.)  And then even if none of that works out, you still have Brookline High, which is one of the best high schools in the country, with lots of professor kids and smart kids and plenty of academic rigor if you're looking for it (I mean, it's a huge public, so there will be all sorts of kids... but she'll definitely be able to find a bright, ambitious cohort if she's looking).

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My sister was considering a move to Boston and told me that horrid, cramped little grad student apartments in Brookline are going for *minimum* $2500 plus fees and utilities and forget parking. No way I would relocate there on the off chance my child would get a scholarship or become besties with professors' kids.

Edited by bibiche

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My sister was considering a move to Boston and told me that horrid, cramped little grad student apartments in Brookline are going for *minimum* $2500 plus fees and utilities and forget parking. No way I would relocate there on the off chance my child would get a scholarship or become besties with professors' kids.

lol

 

Boston and its suburbs are a big place (pretty commutable, though) with lots of diversity (in price of housing, too). Let's not lose our heads.  

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Out of curiosity, what schools do people think are good for gifted kids in Boston/the GBA?

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I think dmmetler is looking less for an academic solution (which a good private or excellent public school with early college entrance *might* provide) and more for a social solution, which even a school full of professor's kids probably won't provide.

 

A PG kid's brain works as differently from my daughter's brain as my daughter's brain works from the average brain.  My daughter would never be happy, long term, in a school with only (or 99.9%) kids of average intelligence.  Hard to say, but there it is.  I would never have been happy in such a school.  Or - happy might not be the right word, but comfortable?  fulfilled?  something like that.

 

In the same way, dmmetler might be wary of committing to an area or school that doesn't have enough really exceptionally bright kids to make much of a difference for her DD.

 

Right now we are doing a Waldorf methods charter for our DD11, who is HG but not close to PG.  We will not be going with the rest of these kids to a Waldorf methods high school (should such a thing exist) or whatever other high school they all go to that caters toward their type of learners.  Either we'll find a huge school, with hopefully enough MG/HG kids to form a social group (I'm thinking a school of 1500+ should have at least 5-10 of these kids per grade, right?) or maybe the local charter for academically driven kids, which probably has a somewhat higher ratio but is a ton of work.

 

eta: the reason we will not follow them to high school is because while for now the social situation is manageable, and they are *very* friendly and gentle as a school culture, DD already pretends to be stupider than she is a lot of the time, just to fit in.  We (DH and I) satisfy a lot of her interests - we talk about politics, history, books, science, etc.  None of her classmates are interested in these things at all.  Right now it is okay because she can connect with them about music (to a degree) and art and knitting and gardening (kind of  - the focus is different, but at least the subject interest is mutual).  That will not last.  I can already see it stressing her out.

 

Or we'll homeschool, and find the community other ways.

Edited by ananemone
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Out of curiosity, what schools do people think are good for gifted kids in Boston/the GBA?

The only one I know of is the Acera school, and I think they only go through middle school.

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Out of curiosity, what schools do people think are good for gifted kids in Boston/the GBA?

 

There's one down south called The Sage School that sounds interesting.  I don't know much about it... I know one family whose kid went there and they didn't like it, but knowing that family it might actually be a vote FOR the school, if you catch my drift.  For high school, Commonwealth is the go-to for the weird super smart kids.  It's where I went, and it's definitely the culture.

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I think dmmetler is looking less for an academic solution (which a good private or excellent public school with early college entrance *might* provide) and more for a social solution, which even a school full of professor's kids probably won't provide.

 

A PG kid's brain works as differently from my daughter's brain as my daughter's brain works from the average brain.  My daughter would never be happy, long term, in a school with only (or 99.9%) kids of average intelligence.  Hard to say, but there it is.  I would never have been happy in such a school.  Or - happy might not be the right word, but comfortable?  fulfilled?  something like that.

 

 

I'm familiar with PG kids, and all of the schools I listed will have other kids like her, and a culture where having a brain that works on superspeed will not be a social liability in and of itself.

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I suspect there are lots of schools and communities that can work. The big problem so far is that many of them would require leaping before we look (there are some really, really awesome magnet schools and charters, but you usually have to live there before you can apply), or are private schools in high COL areas, where DH's salary would not be enough alone to cover the costs of living there, plus additional tuition costs for school, so I'd need a job and ideally a well paying one to be able to afford it at all. Or both, because many of the awesome magnets and charters are in big cities with high COL. There are lots of schools out there where PG, science minded kids can thrive (although DD being biology does limit it some). If we're going to end up paying an arm and a leg for school, I'd prefer to do it for college tuition, not high school, and the cost of living there 6 years or so needs to be taken into account.

 

One major reason DA appeals is that financially, it really would work reasonably well, and DD doesn't have to be in-district to apply. If we just had teleportation technology and could just move our house as is there, and get back to the East Coast to see family (which is already a nuisance from Memphis) easily, we'd be set. The problem isn't that DD is so gifted she can't fit in anywhere. The problem is that she is gifted in a way that doesn't fit in well here, and she is not inclined to just wait 6, 8, 10 years to get to college or grad school to find somewhere she does fit.

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IIR, you've visited, and she wants to go, correct?

 

If that's the case, I'd definitely apply, and most likely go. Reno is not any where on my places I'd like to live list, but if it meant my kid was happy, and it was the easiest way financially to make her happy, I'd suck it up for a few years.

Edited by Runningmom80
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So, a new school just opened up here in town that shows some promise.  It is a GT school, but not restricted to GT students.  What is different about it is a large focus on project-based learning and differentiation.  They will make accommodations for highly accelerated students.

 

The school is a cooperative between a public school system and Trinity University, and is staffed partly by Trinity's student body.

 

It's a relatively low COL area with good access to an airport, but the school is still new (only this year), and will have kinks to work out.

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Have you spoken about this with any Davidson families who moved for DA? I too was in love with DA but in our case would fear that moving would put undue pressure on the child--for things to work out near-perfect. Also I think it's easy to feel a high for a few short weeks in the utopian dys world, but when reality sets in it may feel different, like a honeymoon.

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Either we'll find a huge school, with hopefully enough MG/HG kids to form a social group (I'm thinking a school of 1500+ should have at least 5-10 of these kids per grade, right?) or maybe the local charter for academically driven kids, which probably has a somewhat higher ratio but is a ton of work.

 

.

There would be that many if the school offered double accel as part of its normal program offerings. Ours does not, so it was down to 1- 3 per 500 kid cohort, by high school, as the peers left after elementary for districts that have the classes and remaining males who couldnt meet the behavior expectations in their boredom dropped out. I would advise the OP to look for a techy area where math thru diff eq is on the usual path of offerings. Often they will offer the lab experiences, science fair mentoring, plus something independent study via a U or industry mentorship. Edited by Heigh Ho
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Have you spoken about this with any Davidson families who moved for DA? I too was in love with DA but in our case would fear that moving would put undue pressure on the child--for things to work out near-perfect. Also I think it's easy to feel a high for a few short weeks in the utopian dys world, but when reality sets in it may feel different, like a honeymoon.

We've heard similar feedback from other DYS families. DA clearly isn't a cure-all, and can be limiting just as much as empowering. It's a tough case by case decision to make.

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I'm getting the impression some people don't like Reno. Or the idea of Reno.  So, what makes a great city?  Infrastructure, stuff to do, and the people.  So infrastructure, Reno's road system is built to handle the influx of 30K people one weekend a month during one of the big events it puts on (the Reno Rodeo, the Airshow, Baloon races etc).  This means that when those 30K people are not there, there is no traffic. Huge intersections with no one in it, at least when I was there in 1992. Next is sprawl, that ugly creeping expanse of the city that pushes into the wild areas and makes ecologically minded people so sad.  Well there is none.  Where the water line stops, the buildings stop.  So there is actually an edge of town that you can see and point to. This water issue keeps the city contained and helps it to grow as a city proper rather than a combination of lots of exurbs. 

 

Stuff to do, besides the big monthly events that I mentioned above (which are super fun to go to and cheap or free), there is also a cafe culture.  Because the city is built around entertainment, even if you never step in a casino, there are plenty of restaurants and activities that are available.  Plus as an ecologist, one of my favorite things to do is be outside.  Imagine, being able to sit outside for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and have no BUGS!  No misquitos!  It was just lovely.  Plus, every day is a sunny day in the desert.   :001_smile:  There is also just so much wild lands around, and an awful lot of it is untouched if you know where to look. So much to see and do within 2 hour drive of Reno.  

 

People.  Well, I found them lovely. There were just so many people in my sphere that loved nature and wanted to protect it.  The EECB program was huge and the focus of the Biology department.  I was always asked to help out on projects, rescue fish, study marmots, capture porcupine, look after a friend's pet desert tortoise. There were just so many people who loved animals and spent their working lives and free time around them.  It really broadened my horizons to how many cool things there were to study out there. 

 

Like I said before, I was *really* worried about moving to the desert and to the 'city of sin' as my Grandmother called it.  But Reno and the desert were wonderful, and I loved them.

 

Ruth in NZ

 

Edited by lewelma
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No, not in your case.

 

It sounds like her needs are being met already. She has 6 years until she leaves for college. And your dh will be limited and unhappy there. If your needs were completely not being met and/or your whole family pretty much wanted to go, I would say go for it. But that is not the case. And she is young enough that needs and desires change. But old enough that the time she would be there is not worth the move. So no, I would not go under your circumstances. Too much to give up for such little benefit for someone who already seems to be having her needs met, even if things could be better, they are good enough. 

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I'm getting the impression some people don't like Reno. Or the idea of Reno.

Pollen allergy for all of us. Here we can hide in the urban jungle which is why we do mostly indoor sports. We have tried hiding in Las Vegas casinos but cigarette smoke is an asthma trigger for me.

 

Jobs scarcity for hubby and me. The only job opening hubby could find which he is partially qualified for would involve a 70% paycut. Not great when we have no retirement savings. So for us going to DA would mean hubby staying behind in Silicon Valley to put food on the table and roof over our heads. We don't want to live as a split family unless our kids run the risk of depression if we stay in Silicon Valley.

 

None of my kids have shown an interest in ecology even though California has plenty of wildlife conservation sites and we are very near a refuge too.

 

For my family, Boston would be a better fit, especially where a good lady friend was staying which has great public transport and is considered a safe area. I am a non-driver so only one driver in our family and hubby prefers taking public transit to driving.

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I can totally respect that.  I was just getting a sense of 'ug, Reno', and wanted to be a bit clearer that Reno is a very livable city.

Edited by lewelma
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Out of curiosity, what schools do people think are good for gifted kids in Boston/the GBA?

 

See, I live right here in the GBA, and I feel like we don't have a lot of the things I hear about elsewhere, but maybe that's because I don't plan on spending college tuition for middle and high school.  We have lots of cushy private schools here, they run $45K a year or so.  Maybe they're all that, I have no idea, no way can we afford that.  I'm not convinced the kids there are that super-advanced vs. just rich?  Or maybe that's sour grapes, lol...

 

There is $0 spent on gifted programs in the public schools in MA.  ZERO.  Nada.  Nothing.

 

Our town's public schools just got 4th in the nation on that NY Times scattergram (which surprises me, as we never make it that high on other lists - we've made it into the top 10 in MA in some Boston Magazine rankings, but we're not always there...).  Still NO gifted program.  Nothing.  At dd's graduation they spent like 20 minutes praising the valedictorian and salutatorian and listing their accomplishments.  I think they both did stuff at MIT and maybe BU?  It's true MIT has stuff for high schoolers if you go for it.  But as for the high school, I'm not sure what classes the valedictorian (yes, super gifted kid) actually took there.  Many (most?) of his AP's he self-studied for.  I'm pretty sure he was also enrolled in CTY or EPGY classes and did a lot of 'independent study'.  I'm not sure how the high school is taking responsibility for his success...  

 

There are a lot of smart, ambitious kids in the area with really invested parents ... there are a few great, many average and some awful teachers at the high school, seems to me the former has much more to do with student success than the latter...  There is also a lot of stress and kids with mental health issues because of it.

 

There is that BU high school someone mentioned; I don't know much about it (I think it costs $$?).  WPI has a high school for just 11th and 12th grades - it has the highest SAT scores in the state.  It's very tech oriented, being at WPI (12th grade is really a freshman year at WPI).  There is an entrance test for that one, but it's otherwise a free charter.  It also has only 100 students, total   There's a STEM charter near me that you pretty much can't get into unless you happen to live in one of the four towns that it mainly pulls from; it's pure lottery.  

 

Some public schools that are routinely at the top of the pile in rankings (they move around, this is not comprehensive) - basically pricey suburbs full of people with lots of disposable income for tutoring and outside programs:

 

Boston Latin

Concord/Carlisle

Lexington

Dover/Sherborn

Acton/Boxborough

Wellesley 

Newton 

 

Just curious from others who say there's such great resources for smart kids here - what exactly are you thinking of?  The pricey private schools? The tutoring schools (Russian Math, Kumon, etc) are lots of other places and are also $$... The best stuff that's not pricey we've found has been the Splash programs (many colleges) and HSSP (at MIT).  James Tanton used to have a free math circle at St. Mark's (pricey private), but he left town just as my kids got to the math level to attend, and it went away...Did we totally miss some other great stuff?

 

PS Don't get me wrong, I actually love living here - my kids are smart but not super-gifted and we homeschooled.  But I can't particularly figure out any awesome programs for actually out-of-the-box gifted kids like dmmetler's here...  dd's class valedictorian was super-gifted, but like I said, he just cobbled together stuff too, there was no program with peers...

 

PPS There is also an early college in MA, at Simon's Rock, average age of freshmen is 16 - but I don't think they have herpetology?

Edited by Matryoshka
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Did we totally miss some other great stuff?

 

 

I haven't found anything that is an all-in-one "gifted" program, and even if there was one, odds are it wouldn't be a good full-time fit, because it seems NOTHING is or ever will be (sigh), but we have found lots of things for dd to do that were available due to the general concentration of education resources in the area.

 

Things that were free: Harvard student mentoring for writing, computer programming, and art. A BU student-run music program.  Public library offerings such as Minecraft Club, Girls Who Code, and game nights, and just all around amazing resources.  Aquarium camp (won a scholarship).  A Handel & Haydn dress rehearsal at Symphony Hall. Lectures and exhibits at colleges and museums. The Cambridge Science Festival. Meeting Richard from AOPS at Math Prize for Girls! Etc.

 

Things that cost a bit of money, but were worth it at the time: Girls' Angle and The Math Circle, with MIT and Harvard math students leading the sessions. Art classes with professional artists. Museum of Science membership. Zoo camp. Etc.

 

Up until now, these things happened for dd due to having parents who take the time to make it work. As she gets older, she will probably be cobbling things together herself, like the kids you mentioned, but at least the pieces are there for her to pull from.

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Did we totally miss some other great stuff?

 

We homeschooled when we were in the MetroWest suburbs and found that there were a lot of other homeschooling families with gifted kids just in our town. Found a group of boys the same age as my oldest... ended up being more than 10 families... who were clearly different sorts of thinkers. Now that I look back, it seems almost magical that it worked out the way it did...

 

We got together and did a book club, science experiments, park days, Mothers' Nights Outs, etc. There are SO MANY wonderful opportunities in the Boston area!  So many! Many of them are still homeschooling (at least their younger kids), but many have chosen to put their older kids into local public schools and other schools... and from what I have heard they are all doing very well academically, socially, etc. The oldest kids of the group are either just starting college or applying to colleges very soon.

 

That was just one town. And only one small group's experience. YMMV

 

PS Someone mentioned the Russian Math school. I have a number of homeschooling (and some non-homeschooling) friends (all middle class) whose kids have attended and I will tell you straight up right now that it is worth the money.

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I haven't found anything that is an all-in-one "gifted" program, and even if there was one, odds are it wouldn't be a good full-time fit, because it seems NOTHING is or ever will be (sigh), but we have found lots of things for dd to do that were available due to the general concentration of education resources in the area.

 

Things that were free: Harvard student mentoring for writing, computer programming, and art. A BU student-run music program.  Public library offerings such as Minecraft Club, Girls Who Code, and game nights, and just all around amazing resources.  Aquarium camp (won a scholarship).  A Handel & Haydn dress rehearsal at Symphony Hall. Lectures and exhibits at colleges and museums. The Cambridge Science Festival. Meeting Richard from AOPS at Math Prize for Girls! Etc.

 

Things that cost a bit of money, but were worth it at the time: Girls' Angle and The Math Circle, with MIT and Harvard math students leading the sessions. Art classes with professional artists. Museum of Science membership. Zoo camp. Etc.

 

Up until now, these things happened for dd due to having parents who take the time to make it work. As she gets older, she will probably be cobbling things together herself, like the kids you mentioned, but at least the pieces are there for her to pull from.

 

Okay, I know about pretty much all that. :) The only one I wish I'd been able to take more advantage of was the Math Circle, but we already went into Boston every Sat. for German school, and that was enough weekly outside classes in Boston on weekends...  BU City Lab was great; I mourn its loss of funding...

 

But for the OP's dd, who sounds like she's looking for a community of kids like herself rather than cobbling it together, can't think of anything.  (Again, my kids aren't that category of gifted, so maybe there's something out there I just wasn't looking for, but it certainly isn't in the public schools around here...)  And all of that stuff is great and enriching for younger bright kids, but not so much for older ones ... (except maybe the Harvard student mentoring - that sounds great; we live a bit too far out to have taken advantage of that).

 

We homeschooled when we were in the MetroWest suburbs and found that there were a lot of other homeschooling families with gifted kids just in our town. Found a group of boys the same age as my oldest... ended up being more than 10 families... who were clearly different sorts of thinkers. Now that I look back, it seems almost magical that it worked out the way it did...

 

We got together and did a book club, science experiments, park days, Mothers' Nights Outs, etc. There are SO MANY wonderful opportunities in the Boston area!  So many! Many of them are still homeschooling (at least their younger kids), but many have chosen to put their older kids into local public schools and other schools... and from what I have heard they are all doing very well academically, socially, etc. The oldest kids of the group are either just starting college or applying to colleges very soon.

 

That was just one town. And only one small group's experience. YMMV

 

PS Someone mentioned the Russian Math school. I have a number of homeschooling (and some non-homeschooling) friends (all middle class) whose kids have attended and I will tell you straight up right now that it is worth the money.

 

 

This is also how it was for us when my kids were younger here.  Had a great, vibrant group we did all sorts of things with - coops, other organized groups, field trips, and just hung out as friends.  I do love this area, and although I never got around to answering the other thread about 'where would you live in the US if you could live anywhere?' it would be right here, lol.

 

But I guess I was thinking of it more from the time of life the OP's dd is in, and what she's looking for for her dd.  Once they hit kind of middle school age and the homeschooled kids drop precipitously away - just at the same time being the same age isn't enough any more, they are looking for friends who share interests and passions.  I got the idea that was what the OP was looking for and thought she might have found in Reno at whatever program that is.  I can't imagine finding something like that in the public schools here, or even a private high school (both which PPs suggested).  Finding something like she already has - working with adults in colleges (although I don't know there are any great or even middling herpetology programs here) - maybe?  

 

It was hard enough going through that transitional time with my much more average kids.  The homeschooled kids just vanish, and the ones left are not necessarily the ones your kid wants to hang with.  And just at the time that they're becoming more peer focused.  So hard.

 

The thing I wish were around here that I hear about in other places is one of those university model schools, two days a week with outside teachers.  I guess there is one I know of, but it's 45 min away down back roads and Christian worldview (which won't work for us esp. for science and history).  And about 5x as expensive per class as dual-enrollment (like $1500 per class!).  CC ended up being the best fit for my kids, but that won't fulfill OP's dd's needs at all.  

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Have you looked into Thomas Jefferson High School of Science and technology? It's in Fairfax County, VA.

 

My nephew goes to the Governor's school in Richmond, VA which is the humanities sister school of the above I think.  It is full of gifted and very motivated students.  There are definitely some PG kids there, but certainly not all of them.  It has been a very good fit for my nephew who just got into Princeton.

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My nephew goes to the Governor's school in Richmond, VA which is the humanities sister school of the above I think.  It is full of gifted and very motivated students.  There are definitely some PG kids there, but certainly not all of them.  It has been a very good fit for my nephew who just got into Princeton.

 

The Governor's School program in Virginia (they are scattered throughout the state) is a really nice resource for us Virginians. I really regret my parents not even considering the possibility of my attending when I was invited. They were utterly baffled by the concept of making accommodations to get me there daily. Heck, they even said no to college. But that one I worked out myself ;)  It's so interesting to me the generational difference, as I'd bend over backwards to help my child in this situation; so yes, I'd definitely move for my child's needs. I've moved so many times in my life and lived in so many places, and know I can always find my niche wherever I am.

 

http://www.doe.virginia.gov/instruction/governors_school_programs/

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Have you looked into Thomas Jefferson High School of Science and technology? It's in Fairfax County, VA.[/quote

 

 

TJ requires being in district to apply, and Fairfax County is extremely expensive. It's also not necessarily the best fit for a kid focused on zoology/ecology vs, say, aerospace engineering. Like a lot of STEM schools, it's heavy on the T and E.

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Honestly, for elementary, homeschooling hasn't been bad here. The zoo, museums, and so on have classes for younger kids, and park days and the clubs took care of the social. But the kids her age have largely gone to PS or have outsourced classes to the point that they might as well have done so, and she has little in common with them when she does see them. She needs more independence and craves that separation, and also needs engaging, deep content. And she doesn't want to go to college yet. She is very aware of the pressures her grad student friends face and that the real world isn't always rosy. She's in no hurry to grow up-but needs something more.

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But for the OP's dd, who sounds like she's looking for a community of kids like herself rather than cobbling it together, can't think of anything.  (Again, my kids aren't that category of gifted, so maybe there's something out there I just wasn't looking for, but it certainly isn't in the public schools around here...)  And all of that stuff is great and enriching for younger bright kids, but not so much for older ones ... (except maybe the Harvard student mentoring - that sounds great; we live a bit too far out to have taken advantage of that).

 

 

SaveSaveBecause kids have different interests and strengths,  I don't think anyplace will offer the perfect one-size-fits-all set of programming... it sounds like she's looking more for a place where it's easy to find a community of smart kids with strong intellectual/academic interests.  

 

I think the Boston area is really great for that, and there are so many schools and companies and clubs, and the concentration of Tiger Parents to keep them well funded at attended (I don't think OP is a Tiger Parent, but the fact is that it often does take a few driven parents and a bunch of interested parents to make these things happen!), that it's easier to find such a community here than in many other places.

 

I don't think anyone's claiming that she'll get an engraved invitation to the Smart Kids Club just by showing up, or that OP and her daughter won't have to spend money and/or do legwork to find the opportunities.  I just think that it's easier here than in many places, particularly for a teen who has scientific/environmental/animal interests.  I don't think its the ONLY place, or that it's some mecca where the football hero never makes fun of the nerds, I just think it's a good place for that, in large part because of the population density, the average education level (which is higher than most of the country), and the industries here (academic, scientific, financial, and charitable). 

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OMG Reno was so HOT. And DRY!!! We could not imagine living there. So random to have such a fantastic school in the middle of nowhere. My soul would be crushed living there.

 

Regarding pollen--I spoke with some of the longtime DYS moms who said that after a year or two, their entire families would have allergies at every summit. I asked what they were allergic to. The response? Reno.

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Commonality doesnt have to be found in classes. How about a youth group with an environmental focus? Even if they just maintained a trail, learned to photograph nature, or hiked/biked/canoe/kayak they would have a shared interest.

 

How about the schools your dh's colleagues use? Maybe there is a gifted cluster gravitating toward particular ecs? And DE for those at that level?

DH's colleagues mostly moved to Atlanta-in large part because of the schools here :)! The few who stayed in Memphis mostly don't have kids or have adult children.

 

We haven't found much in the way of environmental youth groups except for the stuff we've started, which mostly has attracted younger kids. If she could join Boy Scouts, maybe, but she can't join A Venturing crew until she's 13.

 

Trust me, if there are rocks to turn over here, I've done it. After all, DD's primary interests tend to live under them. There are reasons why we jumped to mostly doing field trips with college students at age 9-from a college 3 hours away.

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OMG Reno was so HOT. And DRY!!! We could not imagine living there. So random to have such a fantastic school in the middle of nowhere. My soul would be crushed living there.

 

Regarding pollen--I spoke with some of the longtime DYS moms who said that after a year or two, their entire families would have allergies at every summit. I asked what they were allergic to. The response? Reno.

Compared to Memphis, the heat isn't bad-both years everyone has complained about the heat, and it's actually been cooler than at home. And Reno isn't muggy-when the sun starts dropping, so does the temperature. Dry, yes-that's DH's concern. The house we rented this year had an evaporative cooler, which was actually quite effective AC-wise, and also helped a lot with humidity.

 

I have allergies no matter where I live after I've been there a couple of times, so Reno is no different.

 

And it's beautiful-it's a rugged beauty, but it's beautiful. Of course, I felt the same way when I went out to Portales, NM-which is referred to as the "Ugly" part of NM, because it doesn't have the mountains, etc of Santa Fe or Alburqurque. But it's beautiful and awesome in it's own way.

 

Unfortunately, we can't move DH's job being Atlanta based, nor can we move our extended families, so being that much farther away makes it much tougher.

 

But Honestly, I'd rather live in Reno than in most big cities that have a lot of magnet schools. And realistically, if DA were in San Francisco or NYC, we probably wouldn't be able to afford to move there.

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To be clear, I was the one asking about Boston because my husband has expressed interest in moving back there.  The only school I was aware of was a magnet school in Worcester which isn't exactly GBA.  But I figured it was on topic, so I'd pick people's brains while in this thread.

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To be clear, I was the one asking about Boston because my husband has expressed interest in moving back there.  The only school I was aware of was a magnet school in Worcester which isn't exactly GBA.  But I figured it was on topic, so I'd pick people's brains while in this thread.

 

As momma2three said, because kids have different interests and strengths, there's no one place that is going to be the right fit for every child (same goes for gifted children). I have homeschooling friends whose gifted kids have had good experiences in the Framingham Public Schools, Wayland Public Schools, Newton Pulbiic Schools, The Sage School (private for gifted kids in Foxboro -http://www.sageschool.org),Christa McAuliffe (a public charter in Framingham - http://www.mcauliffecharter.org), and the Russian Math School (http://www.russianschool.com/location/framingham). I could list others if I asked around a bit... 

 

If you have a high school aged child who is gifted in music and looking for the music version of Hogwarts, Natick has a (pricey, but they do offer need-based financial aid) boarding school that has a wonderful reputation: https://www.walnuthillarts.org/

***Edited to add: Plus dance, visual arts, theater, writing, film and the media arts

 

MIT's Splash program has been a hit with these same kids: https://esp.mit.edu/learn/Splash/index.html. MIT offers other workshops and classes for younger kids during the school year that homeschoolers take advantage of... and several high school aged kids I know in the area have taken advantage of Harvard's Extension School to get working on their degree early: https://www.extension.harvard.edu/

 

These are just off the top of my head.  If anyone's interested in more info about the Boston area, let me know. I don't live there anymore, but I can ask friends there for their favorite local resources.

Edited by zaichiki

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