Joanne Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 ...agonizing than my own undergraduate choice. I really want to afford her first choice, but another perfectly fine offer is $475 less per month. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 It's painful isn't. I wish say "you can go anywhere you want." My godmother suggesting schools to dd that just aren't going to happen. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 ...agonizing than my own undergraduate choice. I really want to afford her first choice, but another perfectly fine offer is $475 less per month. It's hard to say no, but that's a significant amount of money. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Can she do two years and then transfer? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Also, have her look into the National Guard and/or military reserves if she really wants the more expensive school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Can she do two years and then transfer? Good idea. Nobody really cares where you did your General Ed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 It's hard to say no, but that's a significant amount of money. This. My dd has been eyeing a very expensive university that we cannot afford. She is eligible for free community college for her general education. She (& many of her friends) is doing the cc, then transferring to a four year. She will then most likely transfer to State. You gotta do what you gotta do. She's not happy, but she understands. Plus she won't be saddled with student loans after she graduates. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Weren't decisions due a week ago? In any case :grouphug: as you decide what's best. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Also, have her look into the National Guard and/or military reserves if she really wants the more expensive school. I believe this is not a possibility for health reasons for Joanne's dd. It's not for my dd either -- she's healthy but has a disqualifying condition. Military service is truly not the answer for everyone who is healthy either--it is a very serious commitment, not just a way to get cash for school. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Military service is truly not the answer for everyone who is healthy either--it is a very serious commitment, not just a way to get cash for school. I never said it was THE answer, but it can be AN answer that often gets overlooked these days. I hardly ever see it get suggested when people are talking about how to finance higher education even though it can be a great way to get both money and real leadership skills. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: That's a lot of money. I remember my dad crying when he realized he couldn't afford to send me to my first choice, which was a very expensive/prestigious school I had applied to on a lark and was not expecting to get into. My parents didn't want to take out the loans. I went to a different school and am glad I didn't go to the other one even though I was in love with it at the time. I had gone to visit, was wearing the sweatshirt everyday, etc. It broke their hearts when I had to decline but we absolutely made the right decision. I got a great education at a much lower price. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 (Hugs) I hear you. I had to steer DD to the more affordible option, though she loved two other schools better. What helped in our case was pointing out other perks that come if she goes to the less expensive choice. Now she is embracing the "second choice" school and is getting excited about her dorm theme and such. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 This. I think it's really sad if some join the armed services for the sole purpose of getting cash for school. Getting maimed, killed, or mentally ill/PTSD perhaps for financing school? Yikes. Take out a loan if possible. Become a soldier for deeper reasons, fine. The cash for school is intended as a perk, right, or are we actually looking for kids who don't have any other choice than to be a soldier? Frankly, I think everyone has an obligation to give back to this country that has given us all so much. The fact that we don't have mandatory military service (with an option for conscientious objectors to do some other sort of national service) is one of the big problems with our society today. Our society stresses the hedonistic pursuit of individual "happiness" over serving others and I think a lot of societal troubles have their root in that. Serving 5 years in the Army helped my DH become a better man and I saw that over and over again during my time as an Army wife. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 I never said it was THE answer, but it can be AN answer that often gets overlooked these days. I hardly ever see it get suggested when people are talking about how to finance higher education even though it can be a great way to get both money and real leadership skills. I think it's good to suggest that it's an option for those who truly wish to serve. Early in these last two wars there were serious problems when young people who were encourage to join for "college money" suddenly faced going to war zone that they were told likely wouldn't happen. I think it's less of an issue now because the news has made it all too clear that if you join you are likely to go and with downsizing the services are pickier. When I make the suggestion, I tend to qualify it with thinking about the commitment too. The commitment is huge. I am grateful to people who make the commitment. We need people to make the commitment who truly want to be there. All that said this isn't helpful to Joanne because whether she wanted to or not her dd cannot join. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 DH has a degree from a name brand school (go Irish!) and he works with people who went to cheaper schools, have the same degree and make the same as him without the huge debt load. Most employers don't care. This would be an easy choice for me. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Frankly, I think everyone has an obligation to give back to this country that has given us all so much. The fact that we don't have mandatory military service (with an option for conscientious objectors to do some other sort of national service) is one of the big problems with our society today. Our society stresses the hedonistic pursuit of individual "happiness" over serving others and I think a lot of societal troubles have their root in that. Serving 5 years in the Army helped my DH become a better man and I saw that over and over again during my time as an Army wife. I wholeheartedly disagree with mandatory military service. It is a HUGE commitment that should not be taken lightly. There are many ways to give to your country other than being forced to serve in the military. And to Joanne, hugs to you. After spending the last several years reading many of your posts, I too wish your daughter could go to her first choice. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 Good idea. Nobody really cares where you did your General Ed. Unless you are a STEM major....in researching colleges for DS, who majored in Chemistry, we found many grad schools preferred STEM majors do all undergrad work at a "real" four-year college (the snobs!). So it depends. That said, our other kids are starting out at the local cc....heck, I started at a cc, and ended up in grad school at an Ivy League. BUT - I certainly was not a STEM major ;-) BTW, one of my nephews did ROTC to pay for school. He is married with one little boy now...and on his third jaunt over to , well, we are not allowed to know. But it is very dangerous. He leads his group into areas to secure roads etc. for the troops who follow (he is an engineer). We all just hope he comes home safe again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted May 8, 2015 Share Posted May 8, 2015 We have several friends who teach college courses & they have all said "Go inexpensive for your undergrad and go big for advanced degrees." Will she be pursuing an advanced degree? If so, that may help her to compromise on the undergraduate degree? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Joanne I'm with you. It's painful! I'll never know if dd made the best choice and I'm looking into more options for ds. The money panics me. But not just the money. I want the best choice for my children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 :grouphug: It is so difficult. We'll be going through that again in another year. We already know that she wants to go to a pricer school, and the problem is that this particular school has a lot more to offer in the way of educational help, which she's going to need. It's so hard. We sent our oldest to the school that cost 2,000 more than the state school because the piano teacher was a better fit (she's a music ed major). Could you dd meet you half way? Could she contribute something monthly towards the bill? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in OR Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 You might take a look at Frank Bruni's latest book "Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania." I'm reading through a copy from the library. Erica in OR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Frankly, I think everyone has an obligation to give back to this country that has given us all so much. The fact that we don't have mandatory military service (with an option for conscientious objectors to do some other sort of national service) is one of the big problems with our society today. Our society stresses the hedonistic pursuit of individual "happiness" over serving others and I think a lot of societal troubles have their root in that. Serving 5 years in the Army helped my DH become a better man and I saw that over and over again during my time as an Army wife. I've been an Army wife AND a soldier and I believe the US Army is stronger BECAUSE we don't have conscripts. Ugh. I can't even imagine. Well, I can imagine a little bit. We did some work with some foreign conscripts. I saw no evidence of a stronger society OR a better army because of mandatory service. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Joanne I'm with you. It's painful! I'll never know if dd made the best choice and I'm looking into more options for ds. The money panics me. But not just the money. I want the best choice for my children. I struggled with this feeling when our oldest was going through the college process. On the one hand, yes, I wanted him to go to the best school for him. On the other hand, I don't buy the best car, live in the best house, eat at the best restaurants, wear the best clothes, use the best gadgets, take the best vacations, or have the nicest furniture. Don't get me wrong--I'm not complaining! But in all of these areas, we balance cost, budget, and quality, and we always make compromises. Why do we think that college is any different than any other choice we make in life? (And I include myself in this "we." In our case, DH's cooler financial head won, and it seems to be working out fantastically. DS is very happy with his financially prudent choice and has said numerous times that he's glad he ended up where he is.) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurel-in-CA Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Our oldest went to a private school with a big grant and some help from mom and dad...and her student loan payments come due this month and will require her to rent a shared room @ a friend's house to make payments. She did not choose a high-paying degree and her job is not well-paying either. I think the very small school did a very bad job of helping graduates find work. OTOH, child #2 went to CC and is transfering to the local state U (not his first choice) so as to keep his well-paying, fun part-time job and live @ home. He will graduate debt-free and with a good car he bought for himself--and be free to take a short-term internship if needed. Then he'll be free to work anywhere and hopefully find a job that will pay for his master's degree. I really wish he could have gone to the school he preferred, but there's a lot of value in not having 5 years of payments hanging over his head as big sister does. I hope he'll make the most of the education he's chosen and work the campus and the professors and the clubs and internships and etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 We have several friends who teach college courses & they have all said "Go inexpensive for your undergrad and go big for advanced degrees." Will she be pursuing an advanced degree? If so, that may help her to compromise on the undergraduate degree? That's what our family advises and has done. Best advice ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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