Ignore this thread!

[KrissiK]

My children may be devolving into frogs or crawdads. They have been in the creek most of the day.

I wish we had a creek. I've always wished for a creek. All we have is a nasty river, well, the river itself isn't nasty, but there are homeless camps down there and all sorta of trash from partiers. Not exactly a place you'd send your kids to go craw-dadding.

[texasmama]

We have a seasonal creek on the back of our property.  One time the kids and I captured some tadpoles to watch them grow into frogs.  Well, they grew into mosquitoes. :lol:

[Critterfixer]

I love my creek. It doesn't run year round, but when it is running, it is such a peaceful place to go park your chair and read or write for a while. I've really got it good living where I do.  :001_smile:

[ikslo]

It is booya. The end.

 

No, it is not ok if you spell it that other way. Because then it is not booya.

 

Honestly, keeping the ITT peeps in line is a full-time job. Which is why they are the way they are, because who has time for that?? :hat:

Only one proper answer to that of course:

 

#aintnobodygottimeforthat

[Slache]

I need mom advice. Mary has decided that she doesn't have to do anything, everything will always go her way and she's going to scream and cry if it doesn't. 3 examples from today:

 

1. It was time to pick up so John began picking up and Mary started playing. I asked her to put what she was playing with away and she said "I need to play with it first."

 

2. Mary wanted to watch a show but it was lunch time so I said no. She cried all through lunch.

 

3. She got up twice during nap time to get toys which she's not supposed to have. She's recently decided that she's not going to take naps which makes her pretty unbearable in the evenings.

 

 

Is this just bad behavior I need to correct or something going on here? It's just strange to me that she would suddenly become a complete brat. I feel like I'm missing something.

[ikslo]

I need mom advice. Mary has decided that she doesn't have to do anything, everything will always go her way and she's going to scream and cry if it doesn't. 3 examples from today:

 

1. It was time to pick up so John began picking up and Mary started playing. I asked her to put what she was playing with away and she said "I need to play with it first."

 

2. Mary wanted to watch a show but it was lunch time so I said no. She cried all through lunch.

 

3. She got up twice during nap time to get toys which she's not supposed to have. She's recently decided that she's not going to take naps which makes her pretty unbearable in the evenings.

 

 

Is this just bad behavior I need to correct or something going on here? It's just strange to me that she would suddenly become a complete brat. I feel like I'm missing something.

1. Did you give a five minute warning first?

2. We have a tv on our kitchen table. Don't judge me. But feel free to disregard any and all advice I give.

3a. Why have toys that can't be played with? (Or rather, come now? Why is she not supposed to have toys? - other than the napping part.)

3b. I couldn't wake DS up from naps, so I got nothing. My kid played hard and slept like a rock. Until about 5, when he suddenly gave up naps.

[Susan in TN]

My children may be devolving into frogs or crawdads. They have been in the creek most of the day.

Mine too - I had to tell the girls to hose themselves off before coming into the house for story time.

[Tsuga]

That's been more or less my life for the last 9 years. I don't give in, they're just frequently unhappy. Sucks to be a princess in a middle class home, toots. So, I don't know. No amount of get off my butt badassery or logical consequences has managed to change the basic character of my children. I will let you know however.

[Slache]

1. Did you give a five minute warning first?

2. We have a tv on our kitchen table. Don't judge me. But feel free to disregard any and all advice I give.

3a. Why have toys that can't be played with? (Or rather, come now? Why is she not supposed to have toys? - other than the napping part.)

3b. I couldn't wake DS up from naps, so I got nothing. My kid played hard and slept like a rock. Until about 5, when he suddenly gave up naps.

1. We don't do that.

2. I have a TV problem. We don't own an actual television and they don't watch every day so there was no reason for that response.

3. No toys during nap time. Sorry. The problem was that she wasn't supposed to get out of bed.

[Susan in TN]

Mary is three years old. Nuff said.

 

(The "twos" are trying but adorable. Three year olds are terrors. Be firm, consistant, and kind. She will eventually turn 4.)

[prairiewindmomma]

That sounds like normal behavior (especially for a 3-ish yo if that's how old she is).

 

I'd start giving her more time for transitions. She seems to have found her voice and knows her own mind, so find ways to channel that positively. For my youngest, I usually acknowledge and give voice to her feelings. "It's really frustrating when we can't watch a show when we want to, huh. I bet you'll be excited when you can watch your show (at whatever time you deem appropriate)."  Or, "I can tell you really like your toys! I am so glad! It's time to pick up now, do you want to put x away first, or y?"

[Slache]

Mary is three years old. Nuff said.

 

(The "twos" are trying but adorable. Three year olds are terrors. Be firm, consistant, and kind. She will eventually turn 4.)

That's what I'm thinking. She's also the baby and she's really, really cute. We had an I have Daddy wrapped around my finger problem for a while and Matt and I had to have a discussion about it. I'm wondering if my recent sickness has me not doing my job well enough and now she's paying the price.

[ikslo]

Then I revise my answer:

 

1. Duct Tape

2. Duct Tape

3. Duct Tape

[Slache]

That sounds like normal behavior (especially for a 3-ish yo if that's how old she is).

 

I'd start giving her more time for transitions. She seems to have found her voice and knows her own mind, so find ways to channel that positively. For my youngest, I usually acknowledge and give voice to her feelings. "It's really frustrating when we can't watch a show when we want to, huh. I bet you'll be excited when you can watch your show (at whatever time you deem appropriate)." Or, "I can tell you really like your toys! I am so glad! It's time to pick up now, do you want to put x away first, or y?"

What do you think of "We're going to pick up when this song is over"? We use songs a lot here.

[Slache]

Maybe JJM should come early.

[ikslo]

What do you think of "We're going to pick up when this song is over"? We use songs a lot here.

I like it. It's the same idea as 5 minute warning/transition. Gives her a few minutes to get used to the idea, finish up playing.

[Junie]

I spell booyah with an h because google told me to.

 

Slache, I give my kiddos a free pass for the week of time change.  Or has the behavior been going on for a while?  If so, I diagnose three-itis.

[Slache]

I like it. It's the same idea as 5 minute warning/transition. Gives her a few minutes to get used to the idea, finish up playing.

Except she didn't actually start playing until I said it was time to pick up. She does that a lot these days. :glare:

[prairiewindmomma]

We had a cleanup song with the first two kids.  We sang it as we were cleaning up.  For my current 3 yo, we have the "do one last thing" rule.  I announce we are going to do xyz, and she can do one last thing before it's time to pick up.  This helped end meltdowns at the park, library, and other public places.

[ikslo]

Except she didn't actually start playing until I said it was time to pick up. She does that a lot these days. :glare:

Maybe she has some feelings about the new baby coming?

 

Or maybe she is three.

[texasmama]

Only one proper answer to that of course:

 

#aintnobodygottimeforthat

 

 I KNOW, RIGHT???

I need mom advice. Mary has decided that she doesn't have to do anything, everything will always go her way and she's going to scream and cry if it doesn't. 3 examples from today:

 

1. It was time to pick up so John began picking up and Mary started playing. I asked her to put what she was playing with away and she said "I need to play with it first."

 

2. Mary wanted to watch a show but it was lunch time so I said no. She cried all through lunch.

 

3. She got up twice during nap time to get toys which she's not supposed to have. She's recently decided that she's not going to take naps which makes her pretty unbearable in the evenings.

 

 

Is this just bad behavior I need to correct or something going on here? It's just strange to me that she would suddenly become a complete brat. I feel like I'm missing something.

She is three.  I concur with the others.

[Slache]

I spell booyah with an h because google told me to.

 

Slache, I give my kiddos a free pass for the week of time change. Or has the behavior been going on for a while? If so, I diagnose three-itis.

It's been longer. Why is the time change so bad for you? Could you let them sleep in for the week? 50 minutes, then 40 minutes...

[Junie]

It's been longer. Why is the time change so bad for you? Could you let them sleep in for the week? 50 minutes, then 40 minutes...

 

The time change isn't always bad, but some of the kids have activities at certain times that require them to get up before they're ready.

 

They don't all have trouble adjusting, but once in a while it hits someone hard.

[texasmama]

When  little dd was 3 or 4, she refused to go to the bathroom before bed, which is a bad idea for a young tot.  So I told her I would beat her in the amount of "gallons" I could pee.  And since I can always pee, I peed first and then somehow, she was always the winner of the "pee gallons" contest.  But she peed - easily, happily, and we both avoided an unpleasant power struggle.  This went on for a Very.Long.Time.  Until one day she did not need this fun activity and she just peed.

 

I'm big into avoiding unpleasantness when possible by weirdness like that.  Most of these struggles are developmental.  They develop into them and then out of them.  I was old and tired and needed my energy for things like breathing in and out so I didn't want to waste it fighting with a young girl who had the capability of not peeing if she chose to.

 

My kids have interesting childhoods. :lol:

[Slache]

The time change isn't always bad, but some of the kids have activities at certain times that require them to get up before they're ready.

 

They don't all have trouble adjusting, but once in a while it hits someone hard.

The hour doesn't bother me. I think because we're so casual here with younger kids. But flying to Cincinnati. Whew. That's a 3 hour change and no me gusta!

[Slache]

When little dd was 3 or 4, she refused to go to the bathroom before bed, which is a bad idea for a young tot. So I told her I would beat her in the amount of "gallons" I could pee. And since I can always pee, I peed first and then somehow, she was always the winner of the "pee gallons" contest. But she peed - easily, happily, and we both avoided an unpleasant power struggle. This went on for a Very.Long.Time. Until one day she did not need this fun activity and she just peed.

 

I'm big into avoiding unpleasantness when possible by weirdness like that. Most of these struggles are developmental. They develop into them and then out of them. I was old and tired and needed my energy for things like breathing in and out so I didn't want to waste it fighting with a young girl who had the capability of not peeing if she chose to.

 

My kids have interesting childhoods. :lol:

That's a really cool idea! I bet it could help with potty training.

[texasmama]

That's a really cool idea! I bet it could help with potty training.

Probably.

 

Desperation is the mother of invention...or somesuch. :lol:

[Tsuga]

wait, she's three?

 

It has nothing to do with you. Save being tied to a chair in a basement or literally raised by wolves, she was going to do that stuff.

 

That is what they do, and if they were already like that, they do it more and longer and louder and with more intensity.

 

My older one fought fun. Like a pee contest? Nobody would trick her into that. She was he type to get angry about getting ice cream after she asked for it.

[Slache]

Probably.

 

Desperation is the mother of invention...or somesuch. :lol:

Ok, so how do I make her pick up, stay in bed and STOP WHINING!? If I ever go to jail it will be because of her whining.

[Jean in Newcastle]

We had quiet time instead of nap time.  You could be on your bed with books or quiet toys. 

[Slache]

wait, she's three?

 

It has nothing to do with you. Save being tied to a chair in a basement or literally raised by wolves, she was going to do that stuff.

 

That is what they do, and if they were already like that, they do it more and longer and louder and with more intensity.

 

My older one fought fun. Like a pee contest? Nobody would trick her into that. She was he type to get angry about getting ice cream after she asked for it.

*In general* she's a super happy go lucky kind that's smiling as long as she's not starving or bleeding. My son didn't do these things so I don't have something to compare this with. It's not fun though.

[Slache]

We had quiet time instead of nap time. You could be on your bed with books or quiet toys.

We tried the book thing and it just resulted in her having horrible evenings. We'll go back to it when she doesn't need the sleep.

[Southern Ivy]

((Mary)) ((Riverlyn))

 

Flonase has not been a big deal for any of my kids. They didn't get the "sniffing" thing until age 3 or so, but I think the squirting is enough.  The first week is the worst--you just have to add it to the routine and she may comment that it stings or smells funny as her nasal tissue is probably quite inflamed. I usually teach my kids how to sniff (and they think it's funny), and then I tell them that I am going to squirt medicine in their nose, and then we are going to sniff together. 

 

Here's a link to some good coupons for flonase:

http://www.goodrx.com/flonase?drug-name=flonase

 

I usually just buy the 3pack at costco, but that's because I am lazy.

She did it fairly well tonight. 

She did get mad at me and say "WHY did you do that to me?!" haha But, she let me do the other side, too. 

 

:grouphug:

 

(DS has only ever had the blood tests. Have they done blood tests for your DD for the food stuffs?)

We haven't done the blood test yet because the dr is waiting on her skin test to not be reactive. Then, we'll do the blood test, then we'll do a food challenge. 

(We initially went in because she was breaking out in hives and we thought it was probably egg, but weren't sure.) 

 

I need mom advice. Mary has decided that she doesn't have to do anything, everything will always go her way and she's going to scream and cry if it doesn't. 3 examples from today:

 

1. It was time to pick up so John began picking up and Mary started playing. I asked her to put what she was playing with away and she said "I need to play with it first."

 

2. Mary wanted to watch a show but it was lunch time so I said no. She cried all through lunch.

 

3. She got up twice during nap time to get toys which she's not supposed to have. She's recently decided that she's not going to take naps which makes her pretty unbearable in the evenings.

 

 

Is this just bad behavior I need to correct or something going on here? It's just strange to me that she would suddenly become a complete brat. I feel like I'm missing something.

 

Except she didn't actually start playing until I said it was time to pick up. She does that a lot these days. :glare:

I think I would still give her a 5 minute timer - 5 minutes to pick up, 5 minutes to pick up brother, etc. 

Riv needs the audible clue (my phone alarm) and she's much more accepting of the change in activity. It took some training, but now, she readily turns off the tablet, readily puts an item away, etc. 

 

As for the crying (and this may not work for yours), I talk to her and tell her that I know she's disappointed and sad that I said no; but that we need to do xyz activity. It's ok to be sad, but not ok to throw a fit (which for us, crying through lunch would be a fit).

Sometimes, if I know she's just giving drama, I tell her "Stop the drama, mama." She usually stops with that. 

 

For nap time, if she's refusing to take a nap, are you ok with her having a quiet time activity - books, lacing cards, etc? Sometimes, Riv doesn't take naps, but I need the break. So, she is allowed 3 books. Saves me some sanity and sometimes she even goes to sleep. 

 

I also agree with the others that some of this is just 3 year old, but some of it could very well be baby anxiety coming in to play. Not sure how to deal with the baby part, but I do think she senses a change coming and is reacting to that. 

[texasmama]

Ok, so how do I make her pick up, stay in bed and STOP WHINING!? If I ever go to jail it will be because of her whining.

You can't make her stop whining.  If she is trying to avoid nap time, then she could be making clean up a big thing to draw out the process.  So clean up, do something else like read one short book, and then nap.  Then put her in her room and walk away.  If there are toys there, then she will play with them.  If she is tired, she will sleep.  You have to choose what is more important - your alone/quiet time or her sleeping during nap.  You might not get both at this present juncture.  If she is a bear in the evening due to lack of nap, put her to bed early.

 

Two of my kids gave up naps at this age.  Nothing could make them nap.  It just wasn't happening.  They weren't tired then. It made for things to be unpleasant in the evenings until they outgrew the need for so much sleep.

 

You might allow some picture books on the bed to give her something quiet to do and not to have to get out of bed to find a toy.

 

I found parenting babies and toddlers and preschoolers absolutely maddening.  I only ever had one out of four who was a reasonable person at those stages.  This means I spent a lot of time silently screaming in my head, "Dear Jesus, help me claw my way to the end of this day with no casualties!"

 

It all worked out okay in the end.  And it's not even really the end, just the end of babies, toddlers, and preschoolers.  FINALLY, we have reached the end of little dd scolding us and crying when we laughed during America's Funniest Home Videos. :huh:  Good times.   :hat:

[Southern Ivy]

Ok, so how do I make her pick up, stay in bed and STOP WHINING!? If I ever go to jail it will be because of her whining.

For the picking up, like I mentioned above - I give her a 5 minute warning (sometimes 2 since she can't tell time. haha). Then, we pick up together and make it a race. If she throws a fit, she loses the chance to play with that item later. 

 

Stop whining - 

Riv is horrible about whining. She doesn't get away with it at home, so I'm not sure why she does it, other than age. We do not cater to the whining, though. If she whines, we tell her that we can not understand her and to use her big girl voice. We also just tell her to "ask correctly". By now, she knows what that means. It hasn't stopped it, but it has slowed a bit. 

[Slache]

Mary, she needs naps (she's out like a log now after not sleeping at nap time), and we're going with the transition idea. You give your kid a tablet? What for? What does she do? Is it in a kid case? I bow to you for being able to take a tablet away from a three year old.

[Ellie]

Except she didn't actually start playing until I said it was time to pick up. She does that a lot these days. :glare:

 

I would gently take her by the arm and help her get up and start putting away the toys.

 

When she says she has to play with the toys first, she is telling you that she has no intention of obeying. You must help her understand that yes, she must obey her parents (and by extension, other adults in authority).

 

Since this is ITT, I don't expect to be blasted for believing that it is important to teach children obedience, but just in case, I have my flame-proof armor all ready to go.

[Slache]

Oh Tex, she's going to stop wining. I don't know how, but it's gonna stop.

 

Mary, we do the "I can't understand you when you whine, please speak clearly" thing but then she goes back to whining after she gets that sentence out.

 

I think I should make nap time later. Or make them get up early. Does anybody do that? They're 3 & 5.

[Southern Ivy]

Mary, she needs naps (she's out like a log now after not sleeping at nap time), and we're going with the transition idea. You give your kid a tablet? What for? What does she do? Is it in a kid case? I bow to you for being able to take a tablet away from a three year old.

She plays educational games, works puzzles, does Reading Eggs, etc. and watches PBS kids. She only gets it on Tues/Thurs/Sat. Those are "tech days". Yes, it's in an Otterbox Defender. She's very careful with them, though. 

 

To be honest, it took a lot of training to get her to not throw a fit over the technology, mainly because I got into the habit of using it as a babysitter. We had major issues with behavior, so we stepped back and evaluated. She whined for the tablet a LOT in the beginning, but we just told her that the tablet was in time out for that day. Now, she plays on it a little bit on tech nights, but plays with her toys more. 

[texasmama]

I would gently take her by the arm and help her get up and start putting away the toys.

 

When she says she has to play with the toys first, she is telling you that she has no intention of obeying. You must help her understand that yes, she must obey her parents (and by extension, other adults in authority).

 

Since this is ITT, I don't expect to be blasted for believing that it is important to teach children obedience, but just in case, I have my flame-proof armor all ready to go.

This is not blast-worthy advice.

 

 

Edited May 24, 2016 by texasmama

[Southern Ivy]

Oh Tex, she's going to stop wining. I don't know how, but it's gonna stop.

 

Mary, we do the "I can't understand you when you whine, please speak clearly" thing but then she goes back to whining after she gets that sentence out.

 

I think I should make nap time later. Or make them get up early. Does anybody do that? They're 3 & 5.

Yup. Happens here too. 

If she's honestly upset, I let the "whine" go and wait until she's calm to have her repeat without whining. If she's whining just to whine, I just continually have her repeat until she finally gets frustrated and just says it correctly. 

I've yet to find anything else that works with her, so if you find something for yours, please pass along the secret. Because, yeah, it's annoying. 

 

I have to have later nap times in the summer or I need to wake her up earlier in the morning. That could very well work for you. 

[texasmama]

Oh Tex, she's going to stop wining. I don't know how, but it's gonna stop.

 

Mary, we do the "I can't understand you when you whine, please speak clearly" thing but then she goes back to whining after she gets that sentence out.

 

I think I should make nap time later. Or make them get up early. Does anybody do that? They're 3 & 5.

She will stop, for sure.

 

You set whatever schedule works for you and your kids.  If a later naptime works, do it.

[Slache]

I would gently take her by the arm and help her get up and start putting away the toys.

 

When she says she has to play with the toys first, she is telling you that she has no intention of obeying. You must help her understand that yes, she must obey her parents (and by extension, other adults in authority).

 

Since this is ITT, I don't expect to be blasted for believing that it is important to teach children obedience, but just in case, I have my flame-proof armor all ready to go.

I completely and totally agree! I was just ensuring that I'm not missing something. I do plan on using the 5 minute transition via song, but she needs to obey. They are both good at communicating things like "I spent a long time on these train tracks and I'd like to leave them out" but just refusing to do something? Nope. I don't tolerate it.

[sweetpea3829]

You know, the whining doesn't necessarily end when they leave toddler hood. We were always firm with our kids, blah blah blah (I do not say "blah blah blah"), but I've got one certain almost 8 yr old, who may or may not be my profile picture, who continues to be quite whiney.

 

And I've got two older ones approaching tweenhood that have suddenly become quite emotional.

 

And then there's the husband....

[Southern Ivy]

I would gently take her by the arm and help her get up and start putting away the toys.

 

When she says she has to play with the toys first, she is telling you that she has no intention of obeying. You must help her understand that yes, she must obey her parents (and by extension, other adults in authority).

 

Since this is ITT, I don't expect to be blasted for believing that it is important to teach children obedience, but just in case, I have my flame-proof armor all ready to go.

We did this for awhile. Oh she was mad at me. (She can hold quite a grudge!) But, eventually, she started helping on her own. 

Parenting is hard, dadgumit. 

[sweetpea3829]

(I should probably clarify...I do actually have some concerns for DS8 and his emotional needs. He had a series of seizures when he was a toddler and his personality completely changed after one of them. Night and day. He's never been the same and is higher intensity. His teens promise to be interesting)

[Southern Ivy]

You know, the whining doesn't necessarily end when they leave toddler hood. We were always firm with our kids, blah blah blah (I do not say "blah blah blah"), but I've got one certain almost 8 yr old, who may or may not be my profile picture, who continues to be quite whiney.

 

And I've got two older ones approaching tweenhood that have suddenly become quite emotional.

 

And then there's the husband....

Btw, mine started whining last night about feeling "so bad" and saying how he has a cold.  :leaving: I'm going to disappear, I think. 

 

 

ETA: 

Boo. It's a man cold booya(h). 

Edited March 14, 2016 by Southern Ivy

[Slache]

(I should probably clarify...I do actually have some concerns for DS8 and his emotional needs. He had a series of seizures when he was a toddler and his personality completely changed after one of them. Night and day. He's never been the same and is higher intensity. His teens promise to be interesting)

I'm sorry.

[Slache]

Mary, what's worked best here is a no tolerance policy. I'm always open to communication, but if there isn't a good reason then shut up and do it. I don't actually tell my kids to shut up.

 

We all have the flu here. She's been whining because of that but she seems completely better and the whining... doesn't.

 

I think we could do a tablet kid thing here. I'll have to think about that. I would use an egg timer. It would be my tablet so I'd need a case. I shall think on this.

[prairiewindmomma]

When  little dd was 3 or 4, she refused to go to the bathroom before bed, which is a bad idea for a young tot.  So I told her I would beat her in the amount of "gallons" I could pee.  And since I can always pee, I peed first and then somehow, she was always the winner of the "pee gallons" contest.  But she peed - easily, happily, and we both avoided an unpleasant power struggle.  This went on for a Very.Long.Time.  Until one day she did not need this fun activity and she just peed.

 

I'm big into avoiding unpleasantness when possible by weirdness like that.  Most of these struggles are developmental.  They develop into them and then out of them.  I was old and tired and needed my energy for things like breathing in and out so I didn't want to waste it fighting with a young girl who had the capability of not peeing if she chose to.

 

My kids have interesting childhoods. :lol:

 

I do crazy stuff like this too!  It makes for very interesting story telling at church by our youngest in her super loud voice during the passing of the sacrament.