What if I can't do this?

[flukygirl]

My children, ds8 and dd10, went to a private Catholic school until this fall. Due to tuition increases and my husband starting an EMBA program, we had to make a shift and decided to give homeschooling a shot. I am to the point that I am in tears by the end of every day, I can't sleep and I am so worried I can't do this. My son seems okay some days, but then he just keeps asking to go back to his old school. My daughter seems to be enjoying the break from the drama and stress of the other school, but still has days she says she wishes she could go back. I feel like if one is having a good day, they other is unhappy and pushing back as much as he/she possibly can.

 

I feel behind ALL - THE - TIME. I am on my 3rd Science program...which we can't start because the books haven't arrived. I haven't started the writing program yet because I haven't had a chance to sit down to learn how to use it. We seem to be on track with Math and Grammar...and mostly with history, spelling and handwriting.

 

I read so many things about doing more...and then I see posts about doing less. Some days we get so much done. We laugh and enjoy each other, but they seem few and far between. I found myself yelling at them yesterday because they argued with me over every little thing we needed to get done. My daughter was crying, my son stopped talking to me for an hour. 

 

I have been up since 3 am and I can't even write this without crying. I want us to succeed at this, I want learning to be fun for them. I don't know how to make it that way. I don't know how to get all their schooling done in the day, have fun and still work (I have my own business from home). 

 

Sorry to be so whiney, but I am really in need of some support and have no idea what to do.

 

Sleep would probably help (ha ha).

[Laura Corin]

I would scale back to the basics until you have found your feet.  Your children are young, and you will do them no harm whatsoever by doing this.  English, maths and exercise.  That's it.

 

Once those are really well embedded, then think about other things.  Until then, just take your kids to the library every week or so and let them pick out any non-fiction (as well as fiction) that takes their fancy.

 

Do the children have social outlets?

[Aiden]

Sleep would definitely help :)

 

I will leave the real advice to those who have been at this longer than I have, but I want you to know that you're not alone. Also, please remember ... it's ok to struggle with this, especially at first. It takes time and practice to get really good at things. I've had a few jobs in my life, and NEVER have I started off at full performance. Every last one of them had a time when I felt overwhelmed by how much I needed to learn, to remember, to implement day-to-day and moment-to-moment. It takes a little while to develop proficiency, and it's ok not to start off as an expert.

 

Give yourself time. Yes, figure out what's working and what isn't, and change things up so they work better. But don't expect to knock it out of the park in your first semester homeschooling! Give yourself some grace to acknowledge that this is a brand new deal for you. Give yourself time to figure it out. Your kids are young. As you adapt, they will adapt as well, and if the education is a little light for a couple months while you figure this out, they'll catch back up.

 

Just breathe.

 

And sleep.

[The Girls' Mom]

Edited because I shouldn't read before coffee.  Why 3 sciences since the fall?  I'm sorry you are having such a tough time.  

[73349]

Nearly every first-year teacher, homeschooling or private or public, has some of these kinds of struggles. Expecting to be awesome when you're a beginner sets you up to feel like a failure when you're doing fine.

 

Keep doing the things that are working.

 

Look for ways to give your kids what they miss from school (recess? time with friends?).

 

Remember that working on relationships also improves their eagerness to learn from you. Playing games and doing other enjoyable activities together is not a waste of time, but an investment in your success together.

 

And yes, sleep is good for you. :grouphug:

[lionfamily1999]

This is different from most other things I have done.  I had been used to competing, to 'winning', to 'succeeding', and hsing just did not fit into that.  See, "success", in this instance, is really in the eye of the beholder.  Nearly every single subject that you want to teach can be taught without specific curriculum.  

 

Science is giving you problems?  Well, stop ordering new stuff and learn with your children about the scientific process.  Look it up online.  Find something interesting to all of you, or one of you, and investigate it.  Like birds?  Look into birds.  Study them.  It really *can* be that simple.

 

Need writing work?  Start with something simple.  Have them copy some sentences every day.  Have them narrate what they read for science or history or reading.  Dictate a sentence to them and have them write it down.

 

It is okay.  This is parenting, it's just like potty training and helping them learn to walk, and teaching them their colors and first words.  You have already done this and done it well.  For now, this year, just get back into parenting 24-7, that is hard enough to adjust to (btdt).

[lionfamily1999]

Science kits are useful too.  Grow some crystals.  Go on pinterest and look for science projects.  Thankfully, science is a topic that can be covered in the kitchen for a loooooong time.

[Lilaclady]

:grouphug: I would say take a break. Take the rest of the month off and just enjoy your kids. You can listen to audio books, make crafts, if they need math review you can do a little but just take time to enjoy being with each other. Before the end of the month- plan out the basics and for the first 2 weeks just do math and Lang arts or what ever else your kids really like, then start adding new subjects a week at a time. Your kids are still young and no curriculum will be perfect ever.

You just have to do the very best you can with what you have. I will not spend money a just buying new curriculum every so often.

 

:grouphug:

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Pick 2 core things to work on daily.  Do some read alouds or listen to audio books while you all work on an art project.  Add in some documentaries and maybe a science experiment when able to.  Take time to get your feet under you.  This is a very complex job.  There is no competition where you get the prize for best homeschooler.  It is a HARD job.  It is time consuming and there is a tremendous learning curve.  You are in your early apprenticeship phase while trying to operate at seasoned veteran stage.  Take a deep breath.  Cut way back on everything.  Don't panic.  It will be o.k.

[Desert Strawberry]

You have gotten great advice from PPs. 
 

I want to add that we all have that one subject ( or more) that we just never feel great about.

 

I LOVE science. I have a degree in social sciences and one in health science. I can teach science. I've taught it to adults. And I taught it well. 

 

I HATE science curricula. HAAAAAATE. It is never what I want. Not even close. Especially for young ones. 
 

We do our own thing. http://cajunstrawberry.blogspot.com/2013/07/how-we-create-our-own-science-units-you.html

 

We are having a light year, for different reasons, but it sounds to me like you need one, too. We aren't even doing this much stuff. We've changed a few things as well. Maybe seeing it will help you get some ideas where you can lighten your load a bit as well. http://cajunstrawberry.blogspot.com/2014/08/a-restful-school-year-2014-2015.html

[LLMom]

I am sorry you are having a hard time.  The first year is hard, and probably more so when children have previously been in school.  I don't think it is a matter of the wrong curriculum or the wrong method.  It just is an adjustment period so anything will be hard at first.  And as wonderful as homeschool blogs and forums are, some women find it hard to read them because they fall into the comparison trap or begin to believe learning must be fun at all cost.  (raising hand, I was guilty of this for many years. :closedeyes:)

Try to be kind to yourself, realizing this is an adjustment time.  Maybe back off and do just the basics and get in a good flow. 

[....]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Pick 2 core things to work on daily.  Do some read alouds or listen to audio books while you all work on an art project.  Add in some documentaries and maybe a science experiment when able to.  Take time to get your feet under you.  This is a very complex job.  There is no competition where you get the prize for best homeschooler.  It is a HARD job.  It is time consuming and there is a tremendous learning curve.  You are in your early apprenticeship phase while trying to operate at seasoned veteran stage.  Take a deep breath.  Cut way back on everything.  Don't panic.  It will be o.k.

 

:iagree:

 

Do math and writing every day.  Work on whatever you guys feel like working on for a while.  Concentrate on having fun together, get used to being around each other 24 hours a day and enjoy learning new things together.  If you guys see a cool project on Pinterest, just do it.  Visit some museums, go to the zoo (we're in TX, so it's still warm enough to go to the zoo here - Lol), watch Mythbusters (my son likes MB)...  Eight (especially) is very young.  Learning doesn't have to look like school.

 

The first year homeschooling is very difficult, IMO.

[....]

I LOVE science. I have a degree in social sciences and one in health science. I can teach science. I've taught it to adults. And I taught it well. 

 

I HATE science curricula. HAAAAAATE. It is never what I want. Not even close. Especially for young ones. 

 

We do our own thing. http://cajunstrawberry.blogspot.com/2013/07/how-we-create-our-own-science-units-you.html

 

 

That's interesting, because I also have a science degree (Biological sciences) and I can't stand the science curricula out there, either!   :confused:

[flukygirl]

Thank you everyone for the encouraging words. I think I just need to hear that it will be okay. That I am not failing them completely.

 

Here is the curriculum I am using:

 

DD – 10

Math: Saxon 6/5

Grammar: Easy Grammar 5 (My daughter LOVES this program. She had a very hard time with grammar before this year and now says it's her favorite subject)

IEW – Fix It (extra grammar support / vocabulary)

IEW – Writing Program (Haven’t started)

IEW – Spelling

History: SOTW1 Ancients – with reading list from Classical House of Learning (this includes reading, writing and dictation exercises)

Science: Elemental Science – Biology (waiting for supporting books to arrive)

 

Girl Scouts , going to start archery this weekend

 

DS – 8

Math: Saxon 3

Grammar: Easy Grammar 2

Spelling: Spelling Connections

Handwriting: Pentime Transitions

History: SOTW1 Ancients – with reading list from Classical House of Learning (this includes reading, writing and dictation exercises)

Science: Elemental Science – Biology (waiting for supporting books to arrive)

 

Boy Scouts, fencing

 

As for science: I started with Science Fusion. It was so full of problems for both kids online programs that I spent more time on the phone with tech support than actually teaching. Every other lesson didn't work and then it would take them a week or two to get back to me. I decided it wasn't worth it after a couple of months and called and asked for a refund. Then I tried to do the Creepy Crawlies book from WTM, but it didn't have enough structure for me as someone teaching science for the first time. I am actually SUPER excited about the Elemental Science. It is just taking longer than I had hoped to get the supporting books for Amazon. Worth the wait for the good prices I got I guess. I feel pretty lucky that science has really only been my curriculum struggle.

 

Social: I haven't found a local group. I was thinking of finding some local homeschool classes for January to get the kids into just to meet some people. Maybe an art class or some other class that interests them individually. I try to let them have friends over every week, but during the holidays it is getting more challenging. 

 

Work: I am a graphic designer, so I am lucky to be able to work from home. I generally work 4 days a week from 2-5 or 6. We try to get most of our work done in the morning. I worry about what to do with them for that 3-4 hours, but they seem pretty good at reading, finishing up school work, chores and playing outside when weather permits. They are both pretty independent. It does lock us into a schedule though, which is challenging some days if we really want to get deeper into something. I would love to have more structured activities for them to do while i am working.

 

Maybe I will wrap this week up and take off until January with just a lesson here and there to keep the math and grammar fresh. Maybe we could just have some fun...I like that idea. It would also give me time to really plan the science and writing without feeling pressured to implement it right away. Maybe I could CLEAN MY HOUSE!!!!

[Desert Strawberry]

It sounds like you are doing GREAT! Honestly, for real. Pat yourself on the back. This is HARD, what we are doing here. It's a huge transition. You and your kids are doing so well. 

[Ellie]

My children, ds8 and dd10, went to a private Catholic school until this fall. Due to tuition increases and my husband starting an EMBA program, we had to make a shift and decided to give homeschooling a shot. I am to the point that I am in tears by the end of every day, I can't sleep and I am so worried I can't do this. My son seems okay some days, but then he just keeps asking to go back to his old school. My daughter seems to be enjoying the break from the drama and stress of the other school, but still has days she says she wishes she could go back. I feel like if one is having a good day, they other is unhappy and pushing back as much as he/she possibly can.

 

I feel behind ALL - THE - TIME. I am on my 3rd Science program...which we can't start because the books haven't arrived. I haven't started the writing program yet because I haven't had a chance to sit down to learn how to use it. We seem to be on track with Math and Grammar...and mostly with history, spelling and handwriting.

 

I read so many things about doing more...and then I see posts about doing less. Some days we get so much done. We laugh and enjoy each other, but they seem few and far between. I found myself yelling at them yesterday because they argued with me over every little thing we needed to get done. My daughter was crying, my son stopped talking to me for an hour. 

 

I have been up since 3 am and I can't even write this without crying. I want us to succeed at this, I want learning to be fun for them. I don't know how to make it that way. I don't know how to get all their schooling done in the day, have fun and still work (I have my own business from home). 

 

Sorry to be so whiney, but I am really in need of some support and have no idea what to do.

 

Sleep would probably help (ha ha).

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I want you to put everything away until after Christmas.

 

Yes, really.

 

Ok, not really. I want you to let the children play, although you should wait until y'all have done chores in the morning, and had breakfast and whatnot. Do chores together, and just talk with each other and whatnot. If possible, go to the library regularly and let them check out whatever books they want to, or none at all. *You* check out some books, though, especially one or two good ones that you can read aloud to them, and then...read aloud to them. (I used to read aloud *one chapter a day* from a good book, right after lunch--not bedtime, because I wanted them to go to bed, and I wanted all of us to be awake while I was reading, lol). I want y'all to make Christmas-y things together, or at least have crafty stuff lying around that they can play with.

 

I want you not to worry that your children whine about going back to school. This is a whole new world, and it's normal for *all* of you to go through an adjustment period.

 

And I want you to take some time to actually read through the materials that you have. Just read through them. It's hard for baby homeschoolers to know for sure what will work for them, but sometimes part of the problem is that they haven't taken the time to just read through the materials they've chosen, every page, everything in the teacher's editions/manuals (if there are any). Just take the time. Don't hurry.

 

Some time in January, begin again. 

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Reefgazer]

I have been homeschooling only 2 years, so the early days of frustration are still very fresh.  You are going through an adjustment period, and that is normal, so hang in there!  You need to remember that brick and mortar school days have an adjustment period too, and that good days/bad days happen there, also.  My most important advice, in retrospect:

 

1.  Start slowly with just math and English (reading, basic grammar, vocabulary, spelling).  When you've been at it a couple of weeks and have adjusted those two things to fit your schedule, add in writing.  Then add in simple history (maybe just reading Story of the World together).  Once that's been added in and you have your groove going, add in science.  Then add in foreign language, if you are so inclined.  The point is, don't add it in all at once, and don't add more than math/English until they are going smoothly and are well-established.

 

2.  Expect to make adjustments - that's how we personalize our kids' educations.

 

3.  You decide on the children's basic core classes; you are their mother and that's your job.  I would just calmly make it clear to them that core requirements (English, math, history, science, whatever) are not up for negotiation.  

 

4.  Make time for recreation/fun, even if it has to be scheduled.

 

5.  Everyone must be on a regular sleep schedule (and that includes you) or the entire operation falls into the shitter.

 

I am what you might call an uptight homeschooler - I'm all about the schedule and a better-than-brick-and-mortar education-or-why-bother kind of gal.  Now, that said, I agree with Ellie:  Put it all away until after January 1 and enjoy each other for the holidays! 

 

ETA: Get used to having a messy house; housework doesn't get done here unless DH does it, because I also teach at a local college in the evenings.  I have a much greater tolerance for messes/dirt than DH does, so....he does the housework.  Enlist your hubby's assistance with that or hire a maid.

[RosieCotton]

I second what Ellie and others have said.

 

Take some time to reset, relax, and enjoy the rest of this month.

Yes - read the materials you have that you don't  know how to use yet. And don't get upset if once you read them you don't like them and want to do something else. We all resell curriculum here that didn't work out. Reach out here and ask questions. You'll get the help you need.

 

Read aloud to them. There are a few great threads here about read alouds for every grade, and also for the holidays.

 

For some fun crafts to do this month here's a post from a few days ago that keeps getting added to.

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/535715-cute-and-cheap-christmas-crafts-and-gifts-for-december/?do=findComment&comment=6065012

 

Take everyone to the craft store and shop for projects. Go to lunch. Bake. Teach the kids how to cook or bake something for the holidays. Enjoy. There's nothing that can't wait a few weeks.

Research art classes or our YMCA has home school gym days which are super fun. Stuff like that that you may want to add in if you are able.

 

We have a light December this year, and the kids are having so much fun with it. They are outside 3 hours a day in the snow, we are in the kitchen learning new things, and they are learning to do their own laundry and how to wash and dry dishes. I am doing some pitching and throwing of stuff we just don't need etc. And I'm taking some time to read up on our subjects and plan what books we need for Jan and Feb. In January we will get back to our full schedule.

 

And ignore that feeling and thought that "we should be doing more right now." That's just programming that needs to go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Reefgazer]

To the bolded:  Your kids are old enough that they should be able to do independent assignments while you work, such as reading, math (after you have taught the Saxon lesson), and spelling exercises. 

Thank you everyone for the encouraging words. I think I just need to hear that it will be okay. That I am not failing them completely.

 

Here is the curriculum I am using:

 

DD – 10

Math: Saxon 6/5

Grammar: Easy Grammar 5 (My daughter LOVES this program. She had a very hard time with grammar before this year and now says it's her favorite subject)

IEW – Fix It (extra grammar support / vocabulary)

IEW – Writing Program (Haven’t started)

IEW – Spelling

History: SOTW1 Ancients – with reading list from Classical House of Learning (this includes reading, writing and dictation exercises)

Science: Elemental Science – Biology (waiting for supporting books to arrive)

 

Girl Scouts , going to start archery this weekend

 

DS – 8

Math: Saxon 3

Grammar: Easy Grammar 2

Spelling: Spelling Connections

Handwriting: Pentime Transitions

History: SOTW1 Ancients – with reading list from Classical House of Learning (this includes reading, writing and dictation exercises)

Science: Elemental Science – Biology (waiting for supporting books to arrive)

 

Boy Scouts, fencing

 

As for science: I started with Science Fusion. It was so full of problems for both kids online programs that I spent more time on the phone with tech support than actually teaching. Every other lesson didn't work and then it would take them a week or two to get back to me. I decided it wasn't worth it after a couple of months and called and asked for a refund. Then I tried to do the Creepy Crawlies book from WTM, but it didn't have enough structure for me as someone teaching science for the first time. I am actually SUPER excited about the Elemental Science. It is just taking longer than I had hoped to get the supporting books for Amazon. Worth the wait for the good prices I got I guess. I feel pretty lucky that science has really only been my curriculum struggle.

 

Social: I haven't found a local group. I was thinking of finding some local homeschool classes for January to get the kids into just to meet some people. Maybe an art class or some other class that interests them individually. I try to let them have friends over every week, but during the holidays it is getting more challenging. 

 

Work: I am a graphic designer, so I am lucky to be able to work from home. I generally work 4 days a week from 2-5 or 6. We try to get most of our work done in the morning. I worry about what to do with them for that 3-4 hours, but they seem pretty good at reading, finishing up school work, chores and playing outside when weather permits. They are both pretty independent. It does lock us into a schedule though, which is challenging some days if we really want to get deeper into something. I would love to have more structured activities for them to do while i am working.

 

Maybe I will wrap this week up and take off until January with just a lesson here and there to keep the math and grammar fresh. Maybe we could just have some fun...I like that idea. It would also give me time to really plan the science and writing without feeling pressured to implement it right away. Maybe I could CLEAN MY HOUSE!!!!

 

[lionfamily1999]

 

And ignore that feeling and thought that "we should be doing more right now." That's just programming that needs to go.

Yes!

 

As much as it is said that children need to be untaught what school is when they come out of a school system, parents need that too!  We, the parents, are taught as much as our children are what school is and how it should work.  That is all fine and dandy, if your child is in a school system.  Outside of the school system, teaching children at home is something you will find is as natural and normal as it was when they were little and you were teaching them not to throw things and how to throw things.

 

Really, this is a tough time of adjustment, of unlearning some things so you can relearn things you already knew...  if that makes any sense at all.

[The Girls' Mom]

I transitioned my girls from public school to homeschooling in 3rd and 6th grades.  The first year was hard.  They had a lot of school routines that were hard for them to let go of.  Homeschooling was a completely new way of life and it was stressful to get accustomed to.  

 

Give it time, and I second others suggestions of taking it easy until January.  It takes quite a while to develop new routines and habits that feel comfortable.  

 

My oldest graduates in May.  I have to say, she is SO thankful we homeschooled her now, even though she HATED it at first.  

[Ellie]

Thank you everyone for the encouraging words. I think I just need to hear that it will be okay. That I am not failing them completely.

 

Here is the curriculum I am using:

 

DD – 10

Math: Saxon 6/5

Grammar: Easy Grammar 5 (My daughter LOVES this program. She had a very hard time with grammar before this year and now says it's her favorite subject)

IEW – Fix It (extra grammar support / vocabulary)

IEW – Writing Program (Haven’t started)

IEW – Spelling

History: SOTW1 Ancients – with reading list from Classical House of Learning (this includes reading, writing and dictation exercises)

Science: Elemental Science – Biology (waiting for supporting books to arrive)

 

Girl Scouts , going to start archery this weekend

 

DS – 8

Math: Saxon 3

Grammar: Easy Grammar 2

Spelling: Spelling Connections

Handwriting: Pentime Transitions

History: SOTW1 Ancients – with reading list from Classical House of Learning (this includes reading, writing and dictation exercises)

Science: Elemental Science – Biology (waiting for supporting books to arrive)

 

Boy Scouts, fencing

 

As for science: I started with Science Fusion. It was so full of problems for both kids online programs that I spent more time on the phone with tech support than actually teaching. Every other lesson didn't work and then it would take them a week or two to get back to me. I decided it wasn't worth it after a couple of months and called and asked for a refund. Then I tried to do the Creepy Crawlies book from WTM, but it didn't have enough structure for me as someone teaching science for the first time. I am actually SUPER excited about the Elemental Science. It is just taking longer than I had hoped to get the supporting books for Amazon. Worth the wait for the good prices I got I guess. I feel pretty lucky that science has really only been my curriculum struggle.

 

Social: I haven't found a local group. I was thinking of finding some local homeschool classes for January to get the kids into just to meet some people. Maybe an art class or some other class that interests them individually. I try to let them have friends over every week, but during the holidays it is getting more challenging. 

 

Work: I am a graphic designer, so I am lucky to be able to work from home. I generally work 4 days a week from 2-5 or 6. We try to get most of our work done in the morning. I worry about what to do with them for that 3-4 hours, but they seem pretty good at reading, finishing up school work, chores and playing outside when weather permits. They are both pretty independent. It does lock us into a schedule though, which is challenging some days if we really want to get deeper into something. I would love to have more structured activities for them to do while i am working.

 

Maybe I will wrap this week up and take off until January with just a lesson here and there to keep the math and grammar fresh. Maybe we could just have some fun...I like that idea. It would also give me time to really plan the science and writing without feeling pressured to implement it right away. Maybe I could CLEAN MY HOUSE!!!!

 

My suggestions:

 

Drop the curricular materials I bolded because 1. SOTW includes writing and there's no need to double up on that; 2: Easy Grammar doesn't need to be supplemented; 3. a 7yo doesn't need grammar. 4. A good support group is invaluable for both children *and* parents, but if your dc are doing fencing and scouts, they don't need homeschooling classes "just to meet some people." And don't stress about trying to get friends over; if it works out, fine; if not, fine. In the early days of homeschooling, spending time with each other is more important than spending time with non-family, because y'all are redeveloping your family relationships which is way more important than having outside activities.

 

[umsami]

I started off with big plans for science (and everything else).  Know what was my favorite science curriculum for the ages your kids are?  Watching "Magic Schoolbus" and "Bill Nye the Science Guy." 

 

Then we did a few kits like building a volcano, etc. (Last week, I saw a 3-pack of science kits at Costco for $15.00)

 

It worked fine.  The kids loved it.  And they learned a lot.

 

It's also really normal to have bad days...especially at first.  Some days it's best to just declare a fun day and ignore the curriculum, go to a museum, have a water balloon fight or whatever.

 

For me, my bare minimums were that the kids read and did a math lesson.  Anything else was bonus.  Thing is, most days we did do more.  My 10 year old last year loved "A Child's History of the World'.  It's easy/fun history.  I bought the e-book version from Barnes and Noble.

 

We watched a lot of fun youTube videos like the BBC's Horrible Histories.

 

He had a great year.  You'll do fine.  Be gentle with yourself.  

[flukygirl]

How crazy is this. I got a text this morning from another homeschooling mom I met a few weeks ago inviting us to meet at the playground today. I dropped everything and we went and played for 3 hours. I got some adult time and the kids are exhausted. 

 

I am SO thankful for everyone's posts. I am going to call it for the the month starting today. I think you all have made excellent points about us needing to adjust to being around each other all the time. I will find some books for us to read together and do some crafts and baking. That will allow me the time to look over the science and revise my plan for January. Not to mention get the house reorganized to start again. I think with my husband gone so much for school, I have felt I had to make it all work. I have created a stressed out and exhausted mom/teacher/wife that is no fun to be around. Time to take care of the family and myself for a few weeks so we can reset. 

 

I have to admit, that voice saying "No, no, no, you will get behind" is sitting there making my heart pound in my chest, doubting that decision. Then again, there are much more kind, gentle voices on here telling me it is okay. The voice of mine doesn't have the amount of experience that everyone on here has, so I plan to do my very best to ignore it!!!

 

I would hug each of you individually if I could get to you. Thank you so much. 

[flukygirl]

My suggestions:

 

Drop the curricular materials I bolded because 1. SOTW includes writing and there's no need to double up on that; 2: Easy Grammar doesn't need to be supplemented; 3. a 7yo doesn't need grammar. 4. A good support group is invaluable for both children *and* parents, but if your dc are doing fencing and scouts, they don't need homeschooling classes "just to meet some people." And don't stress about trying to get friends over; if it works out, fine; if not, fine. In the early days of homeschooling, spending time with each other is more important than spending time with non-family, because y'all are redeveloping your family relationships which is way more important than having outside activities.

 

 

How weird is it that I am an adult and hearing someone else give me permission to drop x, y and z makes it seem acceptable??? :huh:

[flukygirl]

Yes!

 

As much as it is said that children need to be untaught what school is when they come out of a school system, parents need that too!  We, the parents, are taught as much as our children are what school is and how it should work.  That is all fine and dandy, if your child is in a school system.  Outside of the school system, teaching children at home is something you will find is as natural and normal as it was when they were little and you were teaching them not to throw things and how to throw things.

 

Really, this is a tough time of adjustment, of unlearning some things so you can relearn things you already knew...  if that makes any sense at all.

 

YES!!! Their school was so strict about responsibility and homework that they had me trained to do certain things. I don't know anything else. How do you unschool a parent???

[umsami]

How weird is it that I am an adult and hearing someone else give me permission to drop x, y and z makes it seem acceptable??? :huh:

 

No, you're 100% completely normal.  That's why we're all here... for support, to learn from each other, and to socialize and talk about kilts and cupcakes when things are going crazy. :)

[cintinative]

That's interesting, because I also have a science degree (Biological sciences) and I can't stand the science curricula out there, either!   :confused:

 

Same here. If only someone would write a Chemistry or other science curriculum where the experiments have been tested in actual kitchens and work and where there is sufficient detail to complete it successfully.  But I digress.

 

OP--hang in there. It is going to be a rough transition from school to home. It is just different. Different is okay. You just have to get into a groove, and that takes time. For all of you.  This is my third year homeschooling and I still feel like we have a rough period transitioning every year.  I try to look at it as training, like for a marathon.  I don't start with everything at the beginning. I start with basics--reading and math, and we gradually add subjects as we get those subjects going smoothly. It's just like adding a mile to your weekly run. You have to get used to the distance, get your speed right, and establish good self-care (eat well, sleep, cross-train), before you add that mile. Otherwise you might be injured.  This is so similar. You have to find the pace that works for you right now, get it down, and then add as you are able.  Remember everyone's running pace is different. There are people on here that seem to do 20,000,000 things with their 2nd and 3rd graders.  Some of them might actually be doing them. Some of them are doing "some" of them.  It is so easy to get caught in comparing with others.  I have done it. But I do believe there is a different "track" and "pace" for each of us, and that is as it should be.

 

What I find happens with me is that when the ship is sinking there are certain things I throw off the boat to keep the ship afloat.  Sometimes it is art or music. Sometimes it is science.  Give yourself permission to do this.  It will get done eventually.  

 

Remember that no matter how good brick and mortar school looked, your kids did not get near the individual attention you are now giving them.  They are going to benefit from this, even with many many less hours than they ever had in a school building.  Please show yourself lots of grace. There is not one of us on here that is perfect and does everything right. 

 

Hang in there OP. Praying for you!

[lionfamily1999]

YES!!! Their school was so strict about responsibility and homework that they had me trained to do certain things. I don't know anything else. How do you unschool a parent???

It took a few meltdowns for me to get it.  My youngest is the only one who has never been in ps, I actually took my older son out two months into second grade and my oldest came out a month into eighth grade.  Working with ds I tried so hard to do the most and strive strive strive for excellence!!!!!!!  And he melted down.  And then I melted down.  And after a while of two steps forward one step back we reached a sort of rhythm.

 

There are a lot of other things that are going to come up, depending on your situation.  My extended family loved how flexible our schedules could be and tried to stuff as much in as they could (iow, I ended up doing a lot of things for a lot of people, because we homeschool and isn't a flexible schedule part of the reason why).  I *highly* recommend setting school hours, EVEN when you're on vacation.  You'll have to train everybody ;)  even the grandparents, to respect this time of day as a time when you and the kiddos need peace and quiet.

 

Honestly, though, even after six years I'm still catching myself getting stressed about getting it done on time.  I'm MUCH more relaxed than I was, but I get swept up in the current and have to jump back every once in awhile.  I found out, this summer, that unschooling over long ps vacations is a big help to everybody :)

[meggie]

YES!!! Their school was so strict about responsibility and homework that they had me trained to do certain things. I don't know anything else. How do you unschool a parent???

Take a break, take a break, take a break.

 

For the rest of December, focus on morning routines. Wake up, eat breakfast, change clothes, do chores. Then give them free time (but limit the screen time. My kids only get 10 minutes of tablet time if they've finished their chores quickly and before the timer goes off and another 10 minutes at night after they've gotten ready for bed and cleaned up their messes). Let them play with Legos, do art projects, make Christmas presents, read books, listen to audiobooks, play outside, etc, etc.

 

While they're busy, you can organize and plan and rest. For the love of all that is holy, rest. When you start back in January, start small. Get in a habit of doing a few key subjects, then giving them the rest of the time for free time. I've tried a new method of 45 minutes of school work/15 minute free time break, whatever they want (except for screen time, just my preference)

 

Baby step your way into this. Just so you know, I've always homeschooled my kids. This is my fourth official year and I feel like I'm just now finding my groove. That's ok. It wasn't that I was terrible or we never did anything, it was just chaotic for awhile (partly because my kids were little and my middle child was crazy). As with any new skill, there will be lots of trial and error, but that's ok because you'll learn a lot of what works and what doesn't.

[kareng]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Pick 2 core things to work on daily.  Do some read alouds or listen to audio books while you all work on an art project.  Add in some documentaries and maybe a science experiment when able to.  Take time to get your feet under you.  This is a very complex job.  There is no competition where you get the prize for best homeschooler.  It is a HARD job.  It is time consuming and there is a tremendous learning curve.  You are in your early apprenticeship phase while trying to operate at seasoned veteran stage.  Take a deep breath.  Cut way back on everything.  Don't panic.  It will be o.k.

 

 

I am sorry you are having a hard time.  The first year is hard, and probably more so when children have previously been in school.  I don't think it is a matter of the wrong curriculum or the wrong method.  It just is an adjustment period so anything will be hard at first.  And as wonderful as homeschool blogs and forums are, some women find it hard to read them because they fall into the comparison trap or begin to believe learning must be fun at all cost.  (raising hand, I was guilty of this for many years. :closedeyes:)

Try to be kind to yourself, realizing this is an adjustment time.  Maybe back off and do just the basics and get in a good flow. 

 

I would have quoted everyone's responses if I could as they were all so good. But I especially agree with the above two.

 

Flukygirl, you will figure it all out, it just takes a lot of time to do that.  I am a certified math teacher who taught in public school.  When I began homeschooing our dd, I thought "How hard can this be? I'm educated, I'm a teacher." Well, I came to see that #1) this is hard. And #2) It's unlike anything else I've ever done.  I saw that my job was very different than the one I had done in public school. I was now to be mother and expert teacher in all areas of her life. The first year was very difficult because I tried to make our school like public school. It took me a while to realize that I didn't have to be the expert in anything other than knowing my child and doing my best to help her expand her academic horizons and to assist her along the way.  And #3) the lines between teacher and mommy can get very blurred. I came to realize that I didn't have to make every moment into a teaching moment.  I could just enjoy my child :-) 

 

Having been a public school teacher although I am not an "expert" in every subject, I still feel that I can do a better job teaching my dd because I know her, I care about her in a way that a teacher with many students (that aren't her own children) cannot.  And, because there are so many resources out there for you to use, you can rely on others' expertise.  I love that many of them are free.  On-line and harcopy.  That can be overwhelming at times but I love it because I know that if something isn't working, it could be the timing, my methods, my children or I need something else,  Sometimes I just need to take a break and focus on something else.

 

You have begun on a new adventure, unchartered territory.  Please don't expect you or your family to "figure it all out" (whatever that means) in a short

period of time. Enjoy this rich time of having your children with you and near you.  Use these days to get to know each other better than you have had in the past.  Find what you all enjoy and do that.

 

I have found that the beauty of home schooling isn't that it's public or private school at home but that it's what works for you and your family.  It's strength is finding out what your children excel at and whay they need to work on (weak areas) and using whatever tools/curricula works to make the strengthens stronger and bolster up those areas that need bolstering.  I love that we work school around life and that everything that we do is learning, from making Christmas cookies, to taking care of the chickens, to helping stack wood.  It all supports what we do academically. Every trip we make is a field trip (in my mind).  I thank God that we pressed through the first few years .  They were tough but they have led to my dd saying recently, when asked by an acquaintance, if she likes home schooling that she enjoys it very much. And this is from a child who has struggled with dyslexia and vision issues!

 

I have come to see that every major change seems to take a good year to figure out how to settle in to a new pattern.

 

Please be patient with yourself, your children and schooling.

 

I agree with those that said you ought to kick back until the new year.  It's a good time to enjoy the Advent season, make some gifts together for relatives and friends (maybe a gingerbread house!), celebrate Christ's birth and ring in the New Year with a better perspective.

 

I will keep you in my prayers.  You can do it! :hurray:

[Ellie]

YES!!! Their school was so strict about responsibility and homework that they had me trained to do certain things. I don't know anything else. How do you unschool a parent???

 

You have to re-educate yourself. :-)

 

For a crash course, read John Holt. ALL of John Holt. Even if you do not agree with his unschooling philosophy, you may be inspired to try some completely different things.

[Mom22ns]

How crazy is this. I got a text this morning from another homeschooling mom I met a few weeks ago inviting us to meet at the playground today. I dropped everything and we went and played for 3 hours. I got some adult time and the kids are exhausted. 

 

I am SO thankful for everyone's posts. I am going to call it for the the month starting today. I think you all have made excellent points about us needing to adjust to being around each other all the time. I will find some books for us to read together and do some crafts and baking. That will allow me the time to look over the science and revise my plan for January. Not to mention get the house reorganized to start again. I think with my husband gone so much for school, I have felt I had to make it all work. I have created a stressed out and exhausted mom/teacher/wife that is no fun to be around. Time to take care of the family and myself for a few weeks so we can reset. 

 

I have to admit, that voice saying "No, no, no, you will get behind" is sitting there making my heart pound in my chest, doubting that decision. Then again, there are much more kind, gentle voices on here telling me it is okay. The voice of mine doesn't have the amount of experience that everyone on here has, so I plan to do my very best to ignore it!!!

 

I would hug each of you individually if I could get to you. Thank you so much. 

 

What great timing! I think this sounds like a great plan.

 

I would also add, that here NOT doing school is as stressful as doing school. Having a base level of structure has always kept things smoother. If you find you are stressed about falling behind or need that base level of structure, add back ONLY math and have the kids journal every day, along with the reading you're already planning to do. That way they have a couple of hours each day that is structured, but not enough to be stressful and no planning necessary - Saxon is just do the next thing. I am not saying you need to do this, just that if you need to do something, do only this :)

[wintermom]

Definitely take a break and re-evaluate your priorities with homeschool, work and home-making. You now have one new, demanding full-time job with homeschooling, your graphic designing job, and a dh who is a student and probably has a crazy amount of work and pressure as well.  Simplify the home-making (adjust your expectations), simplify the homeschooling by focusing on a few basic subjects, and make sure that you and dh make time to take care of yourselves and have fun with the dc. You may also need to cut back on some work hours for your own sanity. It may be unrealistic to expect to be able to do it all "perfectly."