Restaurant etiqutte: Educate me, please.

[-M-]

Your party of four arranges to meet an out-of-town relative at a restaurant (e.g., PF Chang's or Weber Grill -- edited to add that it was neither of these but a restaurant like them). It is lunch hour during the business day, but the restaurant never reaches more than 75 percent full during your visit. The meal is leisurely -- an appetizer, soup, the main course, dessert and coffee. When the waitress takes the final check (the one that has a 30 percent tip), two hours have elapsed, and the business crowd has headed back to the office. "Is anyone waiting for a table?" the head of the party inquires. "Oh, no," she replies, gesturing at the restaurant, which is now about 40 percent or less full. "Is it all right, then, that we sit for a while and talk?" "Absolutely. Take your time. Enjoy."

 

Then for the next hour, your party receives occasional scowls from other staff and finally an abrupt, "So let's clean this up," from what turns out to be the manager.

 

On leaving, you notice that the restaurant is about 15 to 20 percent full. You ask for the manager and are surprised to learn that it's the same person who so rudely stacked your plates, sighing, and coughing.

 

You say:

 

Our waitress was excellent. Superlative, in fact. The food was tasty. We have an out-of-town guest, and on paying, we asked if we might remain and talk and were told that was fine. Given how much our bill was, we are surprised that (a.) someone didn't offer to open another tab -- we would have loved more coffee and water and all of us were interested in another appetizer; and (b.) you were so impolite. The restaurant is still open. Others in the restaurant are lingering. Your attitude has resulted in a loss of business.

 

Her reply: Oh. Uh, huh. Okay.

 

Leaving her inadequate reply aside for a moment, tell me: Is it wrong to linger in the circumstances I've described? I do not wish for folks to "just agree with me," but I also do not wish to be ridiculed for my ignorance on this matter. Educate me, please.

[helena]

I love to eat meals as you've described! It's how meals with friends were meant to be shared. You were courteous, the manager was a ding dong.

[creekland]

I have no idea what proper etiquette is, but I know when we opt to linger for a really long time, I also leave a really large tip (more than 30%).

 

Since you weren't taking up a table when others were waiting or keeping them open, I'm not sure why they got upset.

[unsinkable]

Absolutely not a problem! That manager blew it.

 

My family and friends and I have often done just what you described. I think as long as you communicated with the waitress, and got approval, it is fine.

 

Sometimes, we've heard they wanted to close down the section and then we've left, or moved to the bar.

[Jean in Newcastle]

You did fine.  The manager was a jerk. I would do this  https://www.pfchangs.com/commentsweb/?checked=1 and i would name names.  

[Forget-Me-Not]

You were not out of line. She was. And if this is in fact a chain restaurant, I would complain to corporate. Be sure to also mention the excellent waitress. They might be looking to promote someone soon. . .

[whitestavern]

In the scenario you describe, I think you were reasonable with your request and respectful. I think the waitress was gracious and deserves a nice tip. I think the manager was rude and unprofessional.

[happi duck]

I can't imagine why that would be a problem since they had open tables and you asked!!!

[Hannahs4]

Completely rude of them. You didn't prevent sales, you asked and were given permission, I think the manager won't last long.

[catz]

I often do that when I meet an out of down friend for a leisurely lunch or dinner.  WAY rude.  I'd probably go a step further and send a letter to corporate headquarters if it's some sort of chain restaurant.  I might do a little research on who owns and runs it if it's purely local.

[Mommyof4ks]

For mom's night out sort of things we linger for a couple of hours and leave a nice tip. We have never had an issue. The manager was rude.

[-M-]

FYI: I am attempting to "like" the responses I've received and am being advised that there is "a problem storing your reputation vote." I appreciate the replies and will leave a larger tip, if we are ever brave enough to linger again. *wry grin*

[Joanne]

The mgt was out of line - and business stupid.

 

That said, I am guessing they had staff they needed to release and couldn't think through a higher level way of dealing.

 

I would complain to corporate, emphasising the number of locals who were present and will be talking to their local people.

[Seasider]

The lunch staff was perhaps waiting to check out. When we are in similar circumstances, we will flat out ask the waitress and suggest she finish us out and turn us over to someone who will be staying longer. If no one is waiting for our table, and it's not a place that closes between lunch and dinner, it's not rude. But we do let them know so they won't be thinking we could be done any minute.

 

Like creekland, we always tip double to make up for the fact that the server did not get another table of guests as we sat.

[Mrs Mungo]

It is not at all wrong. You even asked and were told it was fine. The manager was EXTREMELY rude. I would contact the owner or corporate.

[Mrs Mungo]

The lunch staff was perhaps waiting to check out.

They had already paid. So, I can't see how that would be the issue?

[zoobie]

Ditto everyone--and leave online reviews!

[Artichoke]

I don't think it's wrong to linger. Next time, you may want to ask if they need you to move to another section. It would have been a lot better if the manager would have asked you to do that, instead of being rude about it. It's not the patron's job to be aware of afternoon scheduling in a restaurant. I'm assuming that closing the section was the issue.

[Arcadia]

When we linger to chat with in our case out of state/country friends, the waitress has always cleared the table leaving only the drinks.

If they want to close down the section we are in, the waitress has always usher us to another area.

 

A few times some of the waitresses were eating a late lunch at a nearby table while we stay past 2pm. The restaurant we were at close at 3:30pm for lunch.

[Anne in CA]

When I was young and worked for Sizzler people did it all the time and we never minded. I own a small restaurant (seating for 26 people inside, 25 people on the patio) and I don't mind when people do this when I am not busy. I like being the community gathering spot. When I AM busy, good customers occasionally do this and I let it go, because they spend money here all year long, and I like them.

 

The manager does not have the businesses best interest at heart, but there is little you can do about that. That is the problem with restaurant managers. They are expected to care like they own the place for very little money. When I do get a manager I intend to pay them very well, but until then I don't expect someone else to put 40/60 hours a week into my business for not much more than minimum wage.  I am the only front person I trust with my business right now.

[Slartibartfast]

Having waited tables in my youth I will tell you that the manager was wrong. They didn't need to ask you to move, if you were sitting there for ten or twenty minutes they should have asked you if you needed anything else. 

 

Sometimes management will require that tables are cleared before a water is allowed to leave, if a group wishes to linger though they should consider that an opportunity for more business rather than a reason to keep a waiter past their time. 

 

I don't think people ought to linger if a restaurant is busy unless they have a good idea of what a waitperson expects to make on a table in that amount of time.