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Funny things kids say - Nov 2014 edition


Cinder
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Whenever the funny things posts come up I can never think of anything anyone around here has said. But dd just came up with a good one. We'd been talking about how male/female animals are called different things. So she follows up with:

 

Why are female devils called divas?

 

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

 

Share your recent funnies please!

 

 

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My 5yo has a penchant for sundresses. When she goes out to play, she puts snow gear on top. At Costco this last week, she decided to run into the store in her sundress rather than taking the time to put on her coat. The card checker commented, "Where is your coat?! You're gonna catch cold."

 

My 5yo rolled her eyes and said, "You know, a cold temperature won't make you sick. Viruses and bacteria will do that. You would think people would be more educated..." And she skipped off.

 

Is there a homeschool curriculum for tact??

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My 4 year old hit my 2 year old yesterday morning when I wasn't looking. I did hear the aftermath of my 2 year old crying. When I asked what happened, my daughter told me, "I just thought about that verse 'do to others as you would have them do to you' and thought since he hit me, he must want to be hit."

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I don't know whether this is funny or gross, so be warned. 3yo dd insists on using our bathroom. She was in there a. long. time. Dh went to check on her, she informed him she was pooping so he shut the door and left her alone. A minute later we here, " I have poop on my leg!". So we check and sure enough she did. On her legs, potty, everywhere. That is not the disturbing part. When we opened the door to check she loudly exclaimed," We don't eat poop!". Um, no child we don't!!! Fortunately, I don't think she did as there was no evidence.

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Unfortunately, my kids tend to crack me up most when they're being their worst.

 

My 3yo asked for a sandwich while I was in the middle of reading.

"Sure. Just give me two minutes."

A few minutes go by. 2? 10? I don't know, I was reading.

"Do you want me to STARF to deaf, Mom?!?"

"Wha? Oh. How about you remind me politely? You catch more flies with honey-"

"I don't want to catch flies! I WANT some peanut butter and jelly!  Ugh!!!"

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On Halloween when dd4 was T or Ting at the zoo, she was wide-eyed at the amount of candy being dropped into her bag. With a line behind her she VERY loudly exclaimed:

 

"WOW! That is a copulating quantity of candy!!"

 

She meant to say a 'copious quantity of candy' as she had earlier when explaining alliteration to her daddy...unfortunately, uh, it didn't come out that way.

The girl handing out the candy was one of daddy's students at Uni, lol. I am sure that got a great laugh!

We didn't explain what was so funny to Alex, other than to use the correct word. And I think that was more for our sake than hers as the parents in line were looking at us quite strangely:)

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So last night, the kids took some of the large cardboard boxes that they play with and made beds out of them. They asked if they could bring them in their room to sleep in.

 

Sure, whatever.

 

DS5 had a doctor's well-visit appointment today, and she asked him where he sleeps at night (meaning in his own bed or ours).

 

He proudly said, "In a cardboard box!"

 

Hand over that mother of the year trophy.

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A friend was texting me the other day to share her embarrassment over her 3 mo. old having a major diaper mess at a music studio.  I was speaking my text back to her and saying that at least her baby didn't poop ON the music instructor like my ds12 did on a basketball camp coach. I hit "send" and my ds (who was sitting by me) said, "Did you tell her it was when I was a BABY???"  

 

I told him I was pretty sure she wouldn't think it was last week.   :lol:

 

 

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Little DD loves to imitate her older sisters, but she doesn't always succeed totally.  Today I was sitting next to her while she was finishing her apple at lunch, but I was reading online and was not watching her.  She told me she wanted to get down, and I looked over expecting to see some apple left (it was a big piece for her).

 

"You can get down when you finish your apple.  Wait, where is your apple?"

"I ate it!  Really!"

"Are you sure you didn't throw it on the floor?" 

"I ate it in my tummy!  Cross my poke to die!"

 

(Cross my heart and hope to die.)  

 

 

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A couple weeks ago I told ds5 to put away his folded laundry. He replied, "Why? I'm not the one who washed it!"

 

 

On Wednesday we attended a 4-H meeting. The leader warmed us up with a game where you had to guess the word on your back by asking questions. My dd11 was really stuck on hers: piano. She had narrowed it down to something in our living room. Another mom who is a friend of ours said, "It is something that you have in your living room, but we do not have in ours." DD thought for a few seconds, then said, "A mess?" :lol: Thank you, dd...

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