Do I have a chip on my shoulder, attitude problem, personality defect?

[RoughCollie]

I am not looking for reassurance that I am fine, everyone else is an idiot.

 

If everyone else is an idiot, tell me how to deal with it so they don't know that I know how stupid they are. DH tells me that, despite my illusions to the contrary, I do not have a poker face.

 

I have to deal with 2 institutions this year, our PS middle and high schools. So far, it has been frustrating and irritating for me, and I feel like that even before something happens to justify it, although I do not have to wait long for that to happen. I will give 2 examples, although there are already far more than that.

 

Thing 1: I asked the assistant principal, math teacher, and 2 secretaries who have their kids in the middle school which math curriculum they use. It is not a mystery to them, believe me. They looked at me with their mouths slightly open and did not answer me even when I asked again. What's the big secret? Or do parents not have a right to know? Sadly, no flies flew into their open mouths.

 

This is a small school system and whatever they use has been dictated to them -- it's not like the teachers get to choose anything. Everyone is on the same page on the same day.

 

I cannot tell you how many times I ask a simple question and get this response: staring, silent, mouth slightly open, no answer ever given and question never acknowledged. Are they unused to parents asking questions? Is there "you supply food, clothing, and shelter and we do the rest" attitude the basis for their lack of response? That attitude is certainly the #1 basis for my feelings.

 

Thing 2: I was told they would not let DS1 enroll in high school until he'd had a physical (has to be within a year of the enrollment date). The important thing was the physical, because his shots were up to date. They said they must know his height and weight (I can tell them that), and that it was the school policy.

 

Then I read in the packet of materials THE SCHOOL gave me that he merely has to have a physical scheduled before October 1 before they can enroll him. I took care of that at once.

 

The nurse, the guidance counselor and the secretary argued with me about it, even when I pointed out the state regs on the subject, which they had quoted in the materials given to me by the school.

 

We went around and around about this for 3 days before they would enroll my son! I mean, I had their paperwork out and physically pointed to what their policy and the state regs were -- at least 3 times -- before they would enroll DS1.

 

I do not want to feel frustrated and angry and yes, contemptuous, about these people all school year. The pump has been primed mightily this week, though.

 

How do I (I want to say become brain dead, but no) get to a place where I can deal with these folks without feeling like this? I don't want to feel like this. I control my temper. I am polite. I smile. I say nice things about the school. I must be giving off vibes that do not fall into the sweetness and light category. I am (so far) not going to call or write to the school superintendent about these issues.

 

Advice welcome. These kids are going to these schools, regardless. I do not suffer fools gladly, but I have to deal with the adults there all year and I'd like not to have my hackles up every time I go to the schools.

 

Thanks,

RC

[Annie N]

I just imagine that the person is having a bad day, is feeling overwhelmed, etc. So, maybe you could imagine that these people are terrifically overworked at the school, and then go home and have to do everything there, so they are all exhausted.

 

Try and be as nice as possible to them.

[RoughCollie]

They weren't terrifically overworked. Everyone was just sitting around chatting except for the janitors. Only 3 new students had to be admitted to the middle school this year, and only a few more than that to the high school. And it wasn't just one person, it was eight people -- everyone I talked to. School hasn't started yet and the teachers don't have to report for duty until next week. I walked through both schools several times and there were no other teachers there except for the one in the middle school office. I spent a lot of time at both schools and the phones did not ring, not even once. There were no other outsiders there, just me and my child.

 

I can understand someone being overworked and overwhelmed, but that was not the case here.

[Jane in NC]

How unpleasant this all is!

 

I have found that petty bureacrats and clerks are among the hardest people for me to deal with. It is as though some of these people create fiefdoms over which they exercise complete control. The incident that comes to mind was the time that a doctor told me to schedule a followup procedure within the next two weeks, but the clerk at the hospital refused to give me an appointment until six months later. Of course, I switched hospitals--an option not open to you.

 

Regarding the math curriculum issue: college professors choose texts for upper level courses while departmental committees usually pick the book for beginning classes which are offered in many sections. I wonder if I am more aware of variation in text books from having served on a selection committee before becoming a homeschooling parent. Do you think that elementary through high school teachers are often just handed the book? Thus when you ask "What curriculum?" they are dumbfounded. To them it is just "The Curriculum" that the district has chosen.

 

I have had miserable luck when contacting our local high school regarding things like testing (AP, PSAT, etc.) My son takes these tests at a school on the opposite side of the county. There is a woman in the counseling office that I not only know by name, but she returns my calls and is welcoming. This does not happen at my local school which is supposedly the best school in the district.

 

Good luck with all of this. I would like to hope that by treating these people like the professionals that they should be, they will treat you with the respect that you deserve as well.

 

Best,

Jane

[melissel]

If everyone else is an idiot, tell me how to deal with it so they don't know that I know how stupid they are. DH tells me that, despite my illusions to the contrary, I do not have a poker face.

 

:smilielol5::smilielol5: You and me both, sister. DH says the same thing to me. I have no advice for you, as I have not yet hit upon a solution myself. Good luck with that!

[melissel]

I have found that petty bureacrats and clerks are among the hardest people for me to deal with. It is as though some of these people create fiefdoms over which they exercise complete control.

 

This is SO true.

[asta]

I took my kid to "Freshman Orientation" so he would have a last ditch chance at changing his mind about going to the local HS for 9th grade (and I could check out the extra-curriculars if he didn't go).

 

HA

 

HA

 

HA

 

I purposely sat away from him.

 

Kid was NOT impressed.

 

A couple days later, I saw the math book of one of the kids from the middle school that is attached: Glencoe. Gack. That is a HORRIBLE text book.

 

Oh, and the music room at the HS took out the soundproof practice rooms because "they needed more storage". I guess we'll continue using the basement of the house...

 

 

asta

[Catherine]

just stay away from the place. It drove me too crazy to know too much-isn't that horrible?? I knew he really wanted to be there and was genuinely happy there, but guess what?

 

After a good year, when he made friends with some good kids, did very well and seemed quite happy, he decided not to go back this year!! I need a happy dance emoticon! He confessed to me that it wasn't challenging, that he felt patronized, and he wanted more academic and intellectual freedom.

 

I don't know your situation, or why your children are going to school, but for myself, I had to 1) assume the best intentions from everyone there 2) not know any more than I absolutely had to. It's tough.

[3lilreds in NC]

Your experience with your HS son and the physical sounds like the people in your school have made up their own rule, that the kids have to have they physical before enrollment. That's what they tell people, and most people can't be bothered to look at the rules for themselves - they do what they're told. I am quite sure that you are the first person to challenge this rule. It's interesting what people do when left to their own devices. (My dad is township supervisor for a very small township, and before he became the supervisor, people just did their own thing. He worked for the state for years and was just flabbergasted by some of the things that went on. They get to follow the rules now. :lol:)

 

I have no idea what is wrong with the other people with regard to the math curriculum question. I have asked friends of mine who are teachers what curriculum they've used for math in PS and they all told me without hesitation. One wonders if they've just used the "mouth hanging open to look like an idiot" before to fend of questions and it's worked. When they did that, did you say anything? I would have mentioned that they had a little drool, perhaps, or asked if there was a problem. I mean, really.

 

My only advice is to work on your poker face. :lol: I'm sure the people could have been having a bad day, but come on - they could have told you the name of the curriculum in a snippy voice if that were the case. In your position, I would do my best to continue to be polite, and shake my head as I left and vent to my husband. How kind of you to say nice things about the school. I don't know that I'd be able to do that!

[PariSarah]

You are going where no one has dared to go before. You are daring to tell the truth, to assert your parental rights, and to demand that they do a good job.

 

They've never had anyone like you in their offices before. They think you are an alien species. They're not sure whether you're the alien in Alien, or in Mork and Mindee.

 

Just put your Mork suspenders on and try to get through the day without busting through somebody's tummy, 'kay?

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

ETA: The other thing you can do is have fun with them. Just say exactly what you think, only in the form of a very polite, very wide-eyed-innocent, very 2yo question. "Why is your mouth hanging open like that?" "*gasp* Don't you know what curriculum you use?" "I'm sorry, didn't you read the state regs? {shocked look dawns} Can you read?" "So, you're not doing a good job of convincing me not to enroll in {insert name of popular private school here}. Do you have so much funding that you can afford to scare away students?"

[Mad Jenny Flint]

I ask a simple question and get this response: staring, silent, mouth slightly open, no answer ever given and question never acknowledged. Are they unused to parents asking questions?

Thanks,

RC

 

My dh calls this the "brook trout" look. He also has little patience for idiots; however since he is very bright he encounters people of lower intelligence often. And, fortunately, he has that graciousness that attracts people to him and never lets on what he is thinking behind his overt responses.

 

I was not born with that gift, although I have been able to cultivate it rather well. It's hard, but like my grandmother always said "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."

 

All that said, you can chuckle to yourself about the "idiots" and vent to your dh. Then, you can gently but firmly press your point where necessary with these school officials. I would certainly not give in.

[Carrie12345]

I have always had such a hard time detaching from my emotions and opinions when trying to communicate with the school system. I don't know how I managed to keep from biting my tongue off completely.

 

For me, I had to do everything in my power to limit communication to email and written notes. It gave me the opportunity to proofread, and to express all of my thoughts without interruption. Plus, it was evidence.:glare:

 

I also had my ex (ds's father) read things over first, whenever possible. He doesn't like me much so, if he felt it was appropriate, I knew I had to be on the right track.;)

 

Sadly, I did limit my involvement in the school as much as possible. Especially when my dd reached school age and wasn't enrolled. I had to put my mental and digestive health first.

[RoughCollie]

Yes, I think the teachers are handed the curricula and told exactly what to do with it and most do not question it.

 

I thoroughly research the curricula I choose and I have never talked to a teacher who had a clue about all the options out there and the pros and cons of each. They don't need to know that stuff because they don't have choices.

 

How unpleasant this all is!

 

I wonder if I am more aware of variation in text books from having served on a selection committee before becoming a homeschooling parent. Do you think that elementary through high school teachers are often just handed the book? Thus when you ask "What curriculum?" they are dumbfounded. To them it is just "The Curriculum" that the district has chosen.

 

Best,

Jane

[RoughCollie]

I feel like I am living in the story The Emperor's New Clothes.

 

I did have a little fun. The guidance counselor denigrated the parochial school two of my children attended last year. (She was right, btw.) I replied, "Can you believe the teachers there actually thought that reading the textbook to the class was teaching?!"

 

I got the staring, open-mouthed response -- nothing verbal. I let that go, what could she say? I betcha the teachers at all the schools in our town spend time every day reading aloud from the textbook.

 

For the other open-mouthers, I did follow up with questions -- "Why don't you know what the math curriculum is? Isn't that something you should know?"

 

The reply: "You can find that out by looking at the curriculum section of our website."

 

My response: "The curricula section has been a blank page for 5 years now."

 

Their reply: "You'll have to call the assistant superintendent about it then, because she is in charge of curriculum."

 

My response: "What about science? Do you know which science curriculum you use in 8th grade?"

 

Their reply: "We don't use a science curriculum."

 

You are going where no one has dared to go before. You are daring to tell the truth, to assert your parental rights, and to demand that they do a good job.

 

ETA: The other thing you can do is have fun with them.

 

I have no idea what is wrong with the other people with regard to the math curriculum question. I have asked friends of mine who are teachers what curriculum they've used for math in PS and they all told me without hesitation. One wonders if they've just used the "mouth hanging open to look like an idiot" before to fend of questions and it's worked. When they did that, did you say anything? /QUOTE]

[ravengal]

Being a homeschool mom who rejected their "perfectly good system" will put them on guard with you, so practice being "stupid and cheerful", and you will get much farther with the school bureaucracy who are there solely to make sure "the rules" are being followed, and don't take kindly to being challenged on the way they do their jobs.

 

As for uninformed parents, most judge the efficacy of their districts by their children's report cards and achievement test scores. No further inquiry necessary. If their children are doing well, engaging them in a curriculum discussion would be akin to masochism. I've found talking about local goings-on to be a much safer alternative.

[RoughCollie]

The PS here does have a "perfectly good system" for all but a few families, so they likely do have their guard up because I homeschool. Through the years, it has been automatically assumed by everyone I've talked to in this town that we homeschool because we think the school system is bad. It's not bad -- else I wouldn't send my two kids there this year.

 

I can't be stupid and cheerful. Stupid isn't in me and I honestly tried to be cheerful, but it didn't work for more than a few minutes. I have a hard time faking anything. I tried to sweeten the pot by saying nice things about the schools -- we have a new $45 million high school, so that wasn't hard. I told the middle school folks that I hope we get a new school for them soon, too. I didn't expect them to be aghast at the idea since there are so many people in town who think we should hand our paychecks directly over to the school system. But they were against paying more taxes. And that school is a smelly (I think they have mold), dark, old, decrepit maze. (I intend to investigate the mold issue later.)

 

As for talking to the people in this town about anything but school -- forget it. Nothing else happens in this town. I don't drink the water so it hasn't happened to me, but I am convinced they have put a rah-rah for the schools additive in the water supply.

 

Being a homeschool mom who rejected their "perfectly good system" will put them on guard with you, so practice being "stupid and cheerful", and you will get much farther with the school bureaucracy who are there solely to make sure "the rules" are being followed, and don't take kindly to being challenged on the way they do their jobs.

 

As for uninformed parents, most judge the efficacy of their districts by their children's report cards and achievement test scores. No further inquiry necessary. If their children are doing well, engaging them in a curriculum discussion would be akin to masochism. I've found talking about local goings-on to be a much safer alternative.

[RoughCollie]

I put most things in writing too, for the same reason -- for evidence and to guard against high blood pressure.

 

For me, I had to do everything in my power to limit communication to email and written notes. It gave me the opportunity to proofread, and to express all of my thoughts without interruption. Plus, it was evidence.:glare:

 

 

[elegantlion]

Well, bless their hearts, I think I would have to be the parent that makes them earn their paycheck this year. :D How frustrating.

[cin]

It's hard to soar like an eagle when your surrounded by turkeys....

 

They probably mis-understood your question. What you needed to ask was.....What math book do you use. Curriculum indicates a large scope and sequence to them. Not just a publisher's name. For goodness sake, you can get a Master's Degree in Curriculum, so it's gotta be more than just a name...Rod & Staff, Horizon, Scott-Foresman.

 

I LOVE the brook trout analogy. We usually call it the deer in the headlights face, but I'll have to throw out brook trout next time. That'll catch DH off guard. But I can SEE it! big eyes, mouth open....Oh yes. :blink:

 

Have fun, and keep asking the questions. You have every right to know what the heck is going on. He is YOUR child, after all!

[Doran]

And, fortunately, he has that graciousness that attracts people to him and never lets on what he is thinking behind his overt responses.

 

...you can gently but firmly press your point where necessary with these school officials. I would certainly not give in.

 

 

I'm cultivating my own abilities in the graciousness department. I do rather well, but like RC, after a certain point, I'm no longer able to contain my frustration. A pressure cooker comes to mind. What seems to make me the most defensive (angry, crazy, whatever) is this feeling that they think *I* am the idiot, thus they treat me that way. You can feel it in their words, see it in their demeanor...these people are so stupid they think I'm stupid. (And now I'm thinking: "Don't call me stupid." "Oh right. Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people." -- name that movie :D). I digress.

 

One trick I've worked on is to act the part of the dummy. I'm terrible at poker, but I'm a pretty good actor, so I go with that. I'll say often in a conversation, "Gosh, I don't know. I'm really new at this, but"...followed by whatever it is I'm hoping to get answered.

 

1. "Gosh, I'm really new at this. Would you mind showing me on the website where to find that curriculum information, because I looked yesterday and just couldn't locate it."

 

2. "Gosh, I don't know. It doesn't make sense to me that the state regulations would state that all I need is to have my son's appointment by October 1 when you're telling me something so different. Don't you actually follow the state regulations here? How 'bout you phone the assistant superintendent for me and check that out. You can reach me at home when you have the answer."

 

3. "Gee, I know you guys are the pros here, but...fill in the blank.

 

 

I do have to check myself against showing an attitude when I have one. And, in experiences like you've described, you can bet I have an attitude, chip, boulder, etc. Now, they've got an attitude about me (they think I'm stupid) and I've got an attitude about them (I think they're stupid), and it's a recipe for disaster! Even though I may try to be calm and pleasant, my voice tone or my facial expressions (*gasp*..you mean like clenched teeth?) betray me. I have far less patience when I go in believing that the people are trying to make my life miserable. So, it may be best for you to have your dealings by phone or email at least half the time. We here at WTM certainly know how poorly true emotion is conveyed on the internet. Sometimes, as in cases like yours, that can be a good thing.

 

Good luck RC. I really do understand!

[kalanamak]

 

I can understand someone being overworked and overwhelmed, but that was not the case here.

 

I work for the state. There are some bright and dedicated people who risk their health to care for difficult patients. However, there are many who are hide-bound, rigid people who are threatened by anything that isn't their usual run through the maze to the cheese. I try to be as calm and distinct as possible with them. Keep in mind, these people are often *terrified* that if they do one thing original or not "by the books" they will lose out on a promotion, get put on probation, have to go talk to their boss, etc.

 

There are, at least in my field, many people who are on what I call work-charity. They would be on public assistance if they didn't work for the state. The secretary who can barely check email and who cries when there is a new fax machine to learn. Again, I try to be calm and go to the level they can cope with. Often this means doing my own faxing, etc.

 

And then there are just plain not-bright people, tired and unmotivated people, anxiety-ridden people who can barely come to work, who get nothing out of answering your questions, but may get in trouble or have more questions to answer. The simply gaping and saying nothing, well, count your blessings. I like that much better than the smug nose in the air not answering questions! And the worst: smile and sweet and then Er-er-er- (that's the knifing music from Psycho) in the back.

 

I had a nurse who was very talented with people. She smiled and got sweeter and sweeter "I'm so sooooorry the doctor can't see you for your dandruff this afternoon, we have appts. on Friday and Monday, which do you prefer?" The sooooorry part got longer and more pathetic each time. People loved her. Sometimes she hung up the phone and swore, but people loved her.

 

A classic example of when I wanted to start kicking shins was a DPOA (power of attny). The opening line "I hereby revoke all prior POA and name XXXX, my mother, as my DPOA" followed by 10 pages of details. Some someone (nurse or social worker) highlighted "revoked", decided to stop reading, ignored the pretty obvious idea that you wouldnt have 10 pages just to revoke something, and wrote "no POA" and thereby didn't notify the mother that her mentally ill daughter, who'd been missing for 18 days, had been found. Daughter was literally raving, and didn't call mother, either. Mother had an extra couple of weeks to hear nothing until daughter came to my hospital, and I immediately called the mother. I don't know how many people handled that chart, and took as given that there was no POA because one person wrote it in a note. ARGH!

 

Well, now that *I* feel better, give a thought to not assuming other humans are rational beings, and start with low expectations and work up from there once you see that spark of normal IQ, adequate language comprehension, and the all-important I-give-a-d*amn look in their eye.

 

HTH

 

Cheery morning to you all!

[Jenny in Florida]

Thing 1: I asked the assistant principal, math teacher, and 2 secretaries who have their kids in the middle school which math curriculum they use. It is not a mystery to them, believe me. They looked at me with their mouths slightly open and did not answer me even when I asked again. What's the big secret? Or do parents not have a right to know? Sadly, no flies flew into their open mouths.

 

If you have a personality disorder, then so do I. When I was younger, the family joke was that, while some people don't suffer fools gladly, I don't suffer them at all. I've found I've gotten more mellow and understanding as I get older, but I still have days . . .

 

Anyway, one tiny thing that might help in this specific situation is to change your wording a bit. Homeschoolers tend to use the word "curriculum" to mean the texts and resources we're using, but institutional education types use the same word to mean the concepts that are being taught. So, you might have better luck getting the information you want if you ask them what math text they are using, or what math program.

 

On the other hand, it's possible they actually don't know or don't want to indulge a busybody parent (you know, the kind who actually wants to know what her child might be learning?).

[ravengal]

"Stupid and cheerful" can be an effective situational coping mechanism, not a permanent trait to adopt. You aren't going to change entrenched small-town attitudes, but you can practice tact and forebearance. People can tell when you think poorly of them.

[Remudamom]

Well, if they're acting like idiots, treat them accordingly? Maybe they'll develop some brains for protection, at least when you're around?

 

Knock on their foreheads and say "hellooooooo, anyone there?"

[elizam]

I took my kid to "Freshman Orientation" so he would have a last ditch chance at changing his mind about going to the local HS for 9th grade (and I could check out the extra-curriculars if he didn't go).

 

HA

 

HA

 

HA

 

I purposely sat away from him.

 

Kid was NOT impressed.

 

A couple days later, I saw the math book of one of the kids from the middle school that is attached: Glencoe. Gack. That is a HORRIBLE text book.

 

Oh, and the music room at the HS took out the soundproof practice rooms because "they needed more storage". I guess we'll continue using the basement of the house...

 

 

asta

 

 

So he didn't wind up going to PS?

 

My ds uses Glencoe at his PS. I hate it, too. Is it a bad curriculum, or do I just hate math?

 

I so wish my ds would change his ind about PS, but he likes the "socialization." AACK!

[asta]

Nope. Didn't go to PS.

 

Thought the cheerleaders looked like they were in a manic phase of bipolar. Was appalled that the football quarterback was so stupid that the leader of the drama club had to come up and read the "football team spiel" instead. Summarized the entire experience with something along the lines of "it was just how you described it / is portrayed in the movies".

 

(What, you thought I was lying to you?)

 

Kid is, shall we say, a wee bit quirky to begin with. He has a sardonic sense of humor. He'll argue politics and current events with you. He gets excited about severe weather systems (he understands the science). Chit chat has never been his thing. He'll do well in college.

 

Glencoe? Urg. I'm trying to remember where I read a review of it. Possibly at the Textbook League

 

Kid doesn't do well with books that are flashy and chopped into chunks, regardless. He's kind of stuck in the 1950s in that way.

 

/hijack

 

P.S. I second the recommendation about asking what textbook they are using. The curriculum invariably comes down from the district.

 

 

asta

[RoughCollie]

I really got a laugh out of the last sentence in the quoted part below.

 

It sounds like something I'd say about myself. :D

 

 

So, it may be best for you to have your dealings by phone or email at least half the time. We here at WTM certainly know how poorly true emotion is conveyed on the internet. Sometimes, as in cases like yours, that can be a good thing.

[Jen500]

Sorry you're going through this. My experience w/ps is that pleasant perseverance gets results, and Choose your 'battles' wisely. Understand that the school is moving the herd along....you are the one who is ultimately the most interested in your own kids' education. It does take energy...do your venting to dh, understanding friends, or here...not at the school or around your dc.

[RoughCollie]

I thought I was practicing that! You should hear what I *didn't* say! :001_smile:

 

This is a small town, but it is part of a huge urban area, the population of the town has doubled in the last decade, and the average adult has at least a bachelor's degree.

 

You aren't going to change entrenched small-town attitudes, but you can practice tact and forebearance. People can tell when you think poorly of them.

[RoughCollie]

You want to come for a visit and join me on an excursion to the schools? You'd scare them to death, especially if you bring your spurs. :D

 

I'll even let you wear your black cowboy hat. I'll wear a white one.

 

Well, if they're acting like idiots, treat them accordingly? Maybe they'll develop some brains for protection, at least when you're around?

 

Knock on their foreheads and say "hellooooooo, anyone there?"

[RoughCollie]

Especially not around the DC!

 

It does take energy...do your venting to dh, understanding friends, or here...not at the school or around your dc.

[Aubrey]

Welll...my theory is that people who work well in ps's are...a certain kind of people. Before that offends anyone, let me say, there's nothing wrong w/ this kind of people. They're kind, self-sacrificing, rule-following, good citizens. If you're a good guy, they like you. If you're a bad guy, they probably want to help you.

 

But if you're "other"--as in...someone who asks "why?"--this is upsetting to many (not all) of them.

 

How do I know? I am a former ps teacher. They (generally) did not like me as a student. I was rather unpopular in my degree program, at both the undergrad & grad levels. And finally, in my school...I was...nicknamed. LOL

 

I got YELLED at on the first day for my room arrangement. My director THREW my lesson plans across my desk. I got in trouble for everything, & then, right before Christmas, I got called into a meeting, to get (literally) chewed out for thinking I was in trouble all the time. I was told that I was too worried about following the rules & needed to make my own decisions for my own classroom.

 

Apparently, that meant "make your own decisions" *as long as* they're the ones we tell you to make, lol, because after Christmas, it was more of the same. "Why are you doing this & that differently from the rest of the dept?"

 

They liked to emphasize at every meeting, in front of everyone, that I was a first yr teacher w/ NO experience. At first, I thought this was a failure to look at my resume, & I off-handedly remarked that I'd worked for the state's dept of ed & taught at the college level for 10 yrs.

 

But no, when the comments were the same at the next meeting--as in, "Pay attention, Aubrey, this will make sense to you soon," I realized that they were just patronizing me.

 

I also thought my test scores would redeem me. Not my own, of course, because those were in my res--highest poss score on all the tests, GRE, content, & teaching. My students' scores. I had the highest pass rate of all the Eng teachers in the school, except for those teaching honors & GT.

 

You know what I got for that? My dir came to tell another teacher--w/ me standing right there--"We've found Aubrey's replacement." :001_huh:

 

So I could tell you stories all day--about teaching, student teaching, being a student. It's all the same, if you're not the right personality type. I'd say you're not, lol. But my concern would be that your dc might not be, either. I'm afraid your difficulties are only going to continue & become more personal, as they cross your dc's intellectual bounds, etc.

 

So if your dc really have to be there, GL. Brace yourself. If them being there is only a preference, I'd say hope for the best, but prepare yourself. Otherwise, you may end up w/ cardiac arrest.

 

I got through my degree program because I decided that I had nothing vested in it. I'd go along w/ the system, no matter how stupid it was. I made it, but it was hard. The *actual* schools, though? Much harder. I think I only made it through that yr because a) dh didn't have a job, & we had 2 dc to feed, & b) a friend made it a matter of integrity to honor my contract. And I think b was actually questionable, but I'm stubborn & like to prove that I can do things. (Stubborn is also counter-educational-personality.)

 

So like I said, GL. :001_smile:

[Susan in KY]

I had a nurse who was very talented with people. She smiled and got sweeter and sweeter "I'm so sooooorry the doctor can't see you for your dandruff this afternoon, we have appts. on Friday and Monday, which do you prefer?" The sooooorry part got longer and more pathetic each time. People loved her. Sometimes she hung up the phone and swore, but people loved her.

 

Sounds like a nurse my dh encountered during an unfortunate episode that landed him in a hospital in England. The more difficult the patient, the nicer her term of affection became. I think one was admitted a "My luv" and could progress as far as "Poppet," depending on the level of cantankerousness. :lol:

 

DH never made it past "My luv." He's such an easy-going fellow! :001_smile:

 

Susan

[kaylk in tx]

They probably mis-understood your question. What you needed to ask was.....What math book do you use. Curriculum indicates a large scope and sequence to them. Not just a publisher's name. For goodness sake, you can get a Master's Degree in Curriculum, so it's gotta be more than just a name...Rod & Staff, Horizon, Scott-Foresman. QUOTE]

 

the curriculum developed by the district is really divorced from the actual textbook. teachers are expected to use the adopted text to implement the curriculum. said curriculum plan is usually pages and pages and pages of educational jargon that takes a degree in education to translate into english!

 

so if you want to know what text they'll be using, simply ask what textbook series is adopted? and it could be a different textbook series for different math courses... ie basic math might be from one publisher, algebra from another, etc.

 

as a ps teacher, i only looked at the curriculum guide to find the silly code numbers for each educational objective so i could document on my lesson plans that all the objectives were being covered.

[gardenschooler]

The other thing you can do is have fun with them. Just say exactly what you think, only in the form of a very polite, very wide-eyed-innocent, very 2yo question. "Why is your mouth hanging open like that?" "*gasp* Don't you know what curriculum you use?"

 

 

 

Oh, Sarah, that is priceless. I wish I had thought of this!

 

RC, I've had math teachers not be able to tell me what math book they use. In all of my years of homeschooling, I've been plenty nosy and polled all the parents I could find on what's being taught down there. I've had only ONE parent in all that time be able to tell me what math text the schools use, and be able to comment and compare them.

 

The only person at my dd's school that seems to know what is going on is the principal. I'll deal with him, but no one else. No guidance counselors.

 

 

I think you're right - they are not used to parents asking questions. They just don't know what to make of it.