That's definitely an option, in fact, it sounds like a really good idea! I wonder if any homeschoolers have experience with this? We were thinking about putting off one of my older children's graduation because of some glitches we had had with the community college, but those were resolved, and I thought it would look kind of bad to do that. The other advantage of doing it that way would be that she would also have time to go overseas and see how she likes being there, and how she handles it. I might know of a couple of people with whom she might be able to stay for a short time in the summer. Of course, the advantage of going during the school year is that she would meet people her age from France.

You know, the experiences I saw were also with kids younger than 17.

Thank you all so much for all your responses--I know I won't be able to thank you individually.... I just remembered how exhausted I was when I was overseas and dealing in a foreign language all the time, and my daughter does tend to wear herself out when she is away from home--well, at least she always comes home totally exhausted. Maybe a school year would be too much for her... So all the alternatives you are describing are really helpful :D

She would be doing it not this coming-up year, but the following year, when she would be 15.5 and going into 10th grade. She wants to do it then because she does not want to lose any time the following year when she will be able to start taking courses at the community college. Since she wants to study physics in college, she needs to get a lot of good science courses under her belt in high school, so she is in a position similar to your son's :)

This is so kind of you! And this is very good information, thank you very much! (I was looking but was unable to find what I was looking for!)

This is much more what I have done with my children, discussing, writing points which they bring up on the dry-erase board, then having them write more. What I have learned, and do not always remember, is that if they have trouble doing something, it helps to break it down into smaller steps and then to help them through each step. And, boys are soooooo like that! I remember when mine would take 45 minutes to put on his shoes!!!! But now he is well-organized and really gets things done, at 17. So you only have a few more years to go!

Wow, this is amazing--You are in Central Asia, which is a place I have always wanted to go... And you arranged it yourself, privately--I would be happy if she could do that as we are Catholic and would want her to be with a Catholic family. And since my daughter is homeschooled, she'd be able to catch up, esp if she went for less than a school year, which I did not think of as an option. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!

Wow, thanks everyone so much! This is a lot of information.... My daughter has been studying French, and would probably be lost for at least a month when she got there (I studied French for much longer and was completely lost for 3 weeks, but she has access to better resources than I did way back when!) She is home schooled, so the school she has to deal with is me! And she was born to be a world traveler--she has been away several times and really enjoyed it. So it's really just the educational issues that we are concerned about. If she loses a year, well, it seems like colleges should be happy about her having "lost" the year in France! Not like she loses it by goofing off.

This is very helpful, Melinda, thank you!

Thanks, Suzanne :) I have to admit that the exchange students I ran across had terrible problems, so I was totally against this idea at first!!! Good to know that others have had better experiences!

My daughter wants to be an exchange student in France for 10th grade (next year). We are actually having quite a lot of trouble finding out about this... but my current main question is what they study for science at the age of 15? I am also having trouble sorting out what year she would go into--I don't want her to be lost by being in with her age group at a Bac school, but I don't want her to lose a year here, either. They seem to be generally ahead of us, so I am not sure how it all would translate. Sigh. I wish she wouldn't want to do this... how will I keep her down on the farm...? Thanks for any info!!!!

My daughter is 13 and wants to be an exchange student for a year. She's thinking about this now as she wants a lot of time to study the language if she does it. I do not like this idea. I have lottle experience with this, bit what I have is bad. One exchange student I knew was sent to a dysfunctional family and was completely miserable and they wouldn't let her change families (luckily another family sort of took her under their wing). Another case was a man who had a business in a remote rural area. He made the students work at his business with no pay, and wouldn't even let them have time off is someone else wanted to take them somewhere where they'd be able to see more of the country than just cornfields. Plus the school system was simply awful. In both cases, the students were discouraged from contact with their families on the basis of helping the students be independent and adjust to their new situation. One case was a long time ago but the other was pretty recent. I have such a bad feeling about these types of programs as a result that I really don't want her to go. Plus I think that a teenager in what could easily be a not-well-supvised situation is a recipe for disaster. I have done my best to teach my children the way to go, but the problem is they are still young and don't always know the roadsigns to disaster. But I realize I could be wrong... Thanks for any thoughts :)

Thanks very much for that link, it looks great :)

And we don't have a 4-year in mind, because we thought she'd be going to school under a program and that she'd have a limited number of schools to pick from, but that plan get messed up so that is why we are starting from scratch at this point.

AFAICT, the "good" guidance counselor is on maternity leave for at least 6 months, and the one who is left is the one who is... not so good, like students left with one required course they didn't know about, at the point when they thought they would graduate. Plus, it's obviously very small, and serves what is mainly a retirement community, so not many are planning to go to 4-year schools. Anyway, we have a next step. We are going to call three colleges we pick with pins, and see what they say about how it all works. One big state school, one small private school, and one Catholic college. This will hopefully give my daughter some idea of how this all works. (And me, since she is the oldest of 4. And I thought supervising their driving after only 6 hours of instruction was rough!) Thanks so much, esp because I am thinking there might be a way to call a different CC and see if they have more experienced GCs, as this cc is linked up with some others.

My daughter took dual enrollment classes in a CC and now she has graduated (high school), she is there full-time working towards her AA. She took so many courses that she will be just about finished at the end of this year, and they will accept courses from her 4-year school to give her an AA. So.... the problem is that we are really pretty clueless about the whole college thing. What we need is someone like a guidance counselor who specializes in this sort of thing so that we can figure out a plan (which my daughter is panicking about not having!!!!!), who will help us over the phone, as we are far away from anywhere, and we could pay her. The problem is, we can't really get the sort of information we need from the books we have been reading. We need to be able to talk with a person who knows about this stuff. I figure there has to be someone out there who does this, because I just don't even know where to start. Any help or advice or even just moral support would be very helpful. She's taking the SATs in November. The whole thing has been a bit of a mess because we had a plan and it got messed up. Thanks very much!!!!!!

I am so sorry, I didn't realize there was a sub-board where this should go...

Re-posted to college sub-board--sorry about that! My daughter took dual enrollment classes in a CC and now she has graduated (high school), she is there full-time working towards her AA. She took so many courses that she will be just about finished at the end of this year, and they will accept courses from her 4-year school to give her an AA. So.... the problem is that we are really pretty clueless about the whole college thing. What we need is someone like a guidance counselor who specializes in this sort of thing so that we can figure out a plan (which my daughter is panicking about not having!!!!!), who will help us over the phone, as we are far away from anywhere, and we could pay her. The problem is, we can't really get the sort of information we need from the books we have been reading. We need to be able to talk with a person who knows about this stuff. I figure there has to be someone out there who does this, because I just don't even know where to start. Any help or advice or even just moral support would be very helpful. She's taking the SATs in November. The whole thing has been a bit of a mess because we had a plan and it got messed up. Thanks very much!!!!!!

I voted yes and we are Catholic. Just wanted to add that we use the Baltimore Catechism, and what others said about catechisms works for us as well: I have learned a lot, and the catechism answers a lot of their questions :) I know all the memorization would not be for everyone, but I think that just going through the catechism with the children without memorizing would be really good too, and definitely challenging for the mind. We have great discussions.

Funny you should bring this up... I have been thinking the last couple of days that I need to make a checklist because every time I turn around the children are either on the computer or arguing about their turn on it! I like flylady because it taught me about routines rather than schedules. Instead of having a set amount of time to do this and to do that, we just have a routine so that if (ha! When!!!!) things get off-schedule time-wise, we can still function. It's very nice not to be thrown off for the whole day because we over-slept. So, what I am about to do is to say (to the children), you can't use the computer until you have done X, Y, and Z. And that will go on all day. Before we do schoolwork, you can't use the computer til you have done these things. After we finish with school work, you need to do these things before you can get on. And so on. I really don't want them to be on for more than about 1 hour total each day (apiece), so that will be regulated too. Another thing that helped me a lot was fines. Very small fines that I wouldn't mind giving out at the drop of a hat. Because a lot of times I couldn't think of appropriate "logical consequences" for what my children dreamed up, and because I tended to not want to "punish" them for most of the little things they did (so I ended up not doing much until I got fed up and then I would scold them). But 1. those little fines add up! and 2. I am willing to give them out. So, one of them wanders off without finishing his chore, when they say gross things (bathroom humor–type stuff), etc., that would be a 20% of their allowance fine. (Of course, they have to have money for fines to work, but you could use anything you have going, computer or tv time, playtime, etc.) Anyway, you sound a lot like me, and I am not consistent with using the above, and I am still homeschooling and my children are doing fine :) and definitely getting a better, altho more eclectic and erratic, education than the local school.

I think a lot depends on what your reasons are for not allowing some books. Basically, I try to consider what the writer is saying about humanity and reality rather than the settings alone when making these decisions. For example, I read about some people rejecting the Narnia (and possibly Tolkiens' as well?) books because of the inclusion of magic, but I would say that the magic in those books is more akin to Christian spirituality brought more explicitly into physical terms than is the case in some of the newer magical books. So with other books (and movies), I try to look at and discuss them the same way: what is the writer saying about humanity (even if the "humanity" is from a different planet) and reality? I didn't let them read the Golden Compass books because I heard they were very atheistic in their underlying points of view (I just don't have time to read everything so rely on good opinions of others sometimes!), and there are lots of books in everyday settings (no extra-terrestrials or magic!) that I don't let them read because of the views expressed implicitly or explicitly. Also, as my children get older, they might read something I wouldn't have let them read when they were younger, but I also discuss how what the author is saying fits into how we view the world, with the goal of getting them to do that themselves, to analyze from our world view, so to speak. It kind of drives them crazy sometimes, but, hey! that's what I'm there for! I hope this helps. I don't think there's any inconsistency at all, since I think that most parents are more concerned with the underlying messages than the outer form.

Thanks everyone! (I'm sorry it took so long for me to see these messages :blushing: ) I discussed all this with my husband and he thinks we should take them to an allergist or specialist and get more of a handle on it. I must say that the last time they got sick, their peak flow meter scores stayed up really high in a way that I think they normally wouldn't have, so I am more reconciled to the meds, but if I can reduce as much as you all have, it would be worth doing all this. Thanks everyone :D

Thanks very much, all :) Good to know that all is normal(ish) And Chris--great advice. I have been trying to do with with my oldest--it usually works out with us half-way to a fight when I suddenly ask... Hey, are you about to...? and then we can have a shakey laugh and I remind her about the hormonal thing. Now I guess I will have to start doing that with my 1yo--it seems so young! My babies are all growing up :(

Thanks everybody :) I am happy to know that neither she nor I is alone! And I guess it's time I had the PMS talk with her...

My 11yo girl has recently started crying when I scold her. Tonight I was explaining to her what to do about something which had caused conflict with her sister and she kept making these terrified faces (and, no, I don't beat them!) and interrupting me so I couldn't finish anything, and then she burst into tears because I "was mad at her" and ran off to her room and cried as if something really serious had happened. Is this something 11yo girls do? She has also started bossing people around (after complaining for years about her older sister!!!!), making a lot of comments about things, talking so fast you can't really understand her... She's done this crying thing before, and she'll cry for a really long time, sobbing. I odn't know what to do about it, because I feel like she's over-reacting--like she's being dramatic rather than real, iyswim-- and it exasperates me. Thanks very much!!!!