Desert Strawberry Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 D is applying to jobs out of state. He thinks we can move- with relocation assistance- in 3-5 weeks. From today. Is this realistic? That sounds absurdly fast to me. We own a home. Our house is mid remodel. I mean like we don't even have flooring everywhere. We have 4 kids. I'm 6 months pregnant. We don't know anyone in these cities. One of the positions, we don't even know what city or what company-he was contacted by a headhunter with only a state name. We have relocated to different states and out of the country, but that was years ago. We were single, or just the two of us, the last time we had a baby. We were military. We had a lot of support. I'm thinking this will be completely different. And much harder. ETA: We cannot resonably finish the house before moving. We would have to sell as is. We will certainly take a loss, given the location and current market. But a relatively small one. We only paid $65,000. We would probably get $20,000 as is and $40,000 at absolute most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Not possible, imo. Not with children, a pregnancy, a house to sell, and no friends or relatives in the possible locations. The last time that we moved cross-country, DH moved to the new city at the end of a July. I and the (then only) three children remained behind to oversee sale of the house. We did not close on the sale until the middle of November. Next chapter was living for six weeks with family until we could secure a house in the new city. (DH was living with relatives in the target city, while the rest of us lived with relatives 2-1/2 hours south of there.) May things fall together pleasantly and smoothly for your family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 It certainly can be done, but it wouldn't be much fun. Definitely different than your past experiences, especially with a house in the middle of a remodel. I'd probably rather get the whole thing over with before the baby was born though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 I have moved that quickly, but not when we owned a home. It takes longer than that to take care of all of the little things around the house and get it listed, IME. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 It certainly can be done, but it wouldn't be much fun. Definitely different than your past experiences, especially with a house in the middle of a remodel. I'd probably rather get the whole thing over with before the baby was born though. Finishing is not possible. We would have to do an as-is sale. Or something. Possibly just walk away. Would I have to be here for an as is sale? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Finishing is not possible. We would have to do an as-is sale. Or something. Possibly just walk away. Would I have to be here for an as is sale? Can you afford the sort of loss you would take on a sale like that? By walk away do you mean let it go back to the bank? Would you still be able to rent/buy another place with that on your credit? Just thinking through the issues "out loud." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Whether it's possible of not, that would be really hard on the children. It's going to be an enormous thing for them - leaving behind the house and area that they know. Giving them longer than a few weeks to get used to the idea would be a very good thing. We have moved many times - five times in Calvin's first seven years (although all in the same neighbourhood) then to China (two apartments) and then to Scotland (temporary accommodation then this permanent home). Apart from the within-neighbourhood moves, we tried very hard to give the children lots of time. L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 We did that long ago- I was pregnant with #3 and we had a house- went from Atlanta to Illinois. DH moved first and they put him in temporary housing. He found a place for us to rent and we found someone to rent our house. It was just too much for us to try to sell our house with short notice. SO glad we didn't buy there because we only stayed 18 months and then moved farther north. It's really hard to move that fast when you have a house to sell. Would renting it out be an option? If dh could go ahead and find your new place, then it would be easier for you to move. But 3-5 weeks sounds REALLY tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 Can you afford the sort of loss you would take on a sale like that? By walk away do you mean let it go back to the bank? Would you still be able to rent/buy another place with that on your credit? Just thinking through the issues "out loud." I don't know. Our credit is already not good. We will not be able to buy again. I'm thinking that we will rent a trailer. I think that's the best we can hope for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 We did that long ago- I was pregnant with #3 and we had a house- went from Atlanta to Illinois. DH moved first and they put him in temporary housing. He found a place for us to rent and we found someone to rent our house. It was just too much for us to try to sell our house with short notice. SO glad we didn't buy there because we only stayed 18 months and then moved farther north. It's really hard to move that fast when you have a house to sell. Would renting it out be an option? If dh could go ahead and find your new place, then it would be easier for you to move. But 3-5 weeks sounds REALLY tough. Maybe we could rent it. If D could finish the cosmetic work, flooring, paint, we maybe could get enough to cover the mortgage. I think he would definitely have to go ahead of us. He'd have to find us somewhere to stay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Physically, you could. It would be a lot of upheaval and controlled chaos. We moved that quick and it was a wild ride. I had packed a lot because I knew the move was imminent, but we finalized and moved in a very short amount of time. My biggest concern would be lining up birthing facilities in your new location and making sure you don't wind up moving right around your due date. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 If you rent out the house, either you will go crazy trying to monitor the tenants and what they do to the house, or you will need to secure the services of a trustworthy agent for rental property. Unless moving is essential, perhaps you could stay where you are -- ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 At this point in D's career, an out of state move is essential. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 Physically, you could. It would be a lot of upheaval and controlled chaos. We moved that quick and it was a wild ride. I had packed a lot because I knew the move was imminent, but we finalized and moved in a very short amount of time. My biggest concern would be lining up birthing facilities in your new location and making sure you don't wind up moving right around your due date. This is the main reason I am leaning towards staying here. I don't have any help though. I don't know how I would manage on my own. Would a major corporation really move that quickly? Hire him, and expect him to move cross-country and start work in a month? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 I really don't want to rent the house. I would rather take the loss, I think. I would rather live in poverty again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Expecting an employee to start a job before the remaining family are able to arrange and execute a move happens often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Would a major corporation really move that quickly? Hire him, and expect him to move cross-country and start work in a month? Yes. This happens very often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 Oh boy. It looks like we're in for a ride, then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted September 26, 2014 Author Share Posted September 26, 2014 I guess that's what he's thinking, then. They asked when he could start. He could be on a plane in two weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Companies want you sooner. We just moved cross country but the move was an issue for the start date. They gave us 8 weeks of him working at home so he would start right away. We needed that time to get things settled at both ends. No advice on the house. We walked from a house years ago with no regrets. Dh's credit is fine now even with it on his report. It goes away in another 2 years. Wasn't a bad experience and for us the right financial decision Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Um_2_4 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 I sold a house from across country via Fedex, so that is doable. I mean if they are paying relocation expenses then utilize it. See the offer and prioritize what you need to do to get it ready (hire help, handyman, whatever) and ask around about a reliable real estate agent then focus on purging and get a full service moving company. Then let DH go ahead and you follow once the house is packed up and keys left with an agent. Will it be fun? Probably not, but doable IF they are paying for relocation. I would rather move pre baby than post. I moved once when the twins were 6mo by myself basically (due to DHs work schedule he had 1 day to move the BIG items and I handled everything else myself. It was local.) and I would not want to repeat that. I would really not walk away from a house if at all possible. Talk to a couple real estate agents locally first about other options. They may know an investor who would buy it, fix it up and flip it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 We did it once. 3000+ mile move in 2 weeks with 3 kids under 6. Actually, we had 3 weeks but needed a week to drive to the new job. But.... 1) no major remodel required - just clean and paint to get the house ready to sell and 2) my wonderful MIL flew out the second week and watched the kids while I cleaned and packed all day. When DH would get home in the evening, we would take on the heavy stuff (mostly paint and some repairs I couldn't handle) 3) we were heading to a furnished corporate apartment that the new company was paying for the first three months and 4) the moving assistance included packing, moving and 3 months storage for our stuff. Having somewhere to go and the moving company to pack and my MIL made it not too bad. We could have done it without those things, but it would have been expensive staying in a motel when we got there until we could find a place to rent. I would have ended up sending almost everything to Goodwill for donation since we were limited in what we could take with the car and trailer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 We moved relatively quickly last time. We listed the house and it sold immediately so we packed up and left In about two weeks time. DH was given a moving and temporary housing package so we just went with him and stayed in an extended stay hotl while we house hunted. Are those a possibility for you? We signed paperwork with our realtor before we left and the rest was done via the mail although I would imagine that would be even easier today. Two weeks start time for out of town move is pretty fast. Ask if that is negotiable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted September 27, 2014 Author Share Posted September 27, 2014 I could ask my dad to come stay with me. That would help a lot. We are early in the process, so I have no idea how this is going to go. He got two rejections today, but has 6 more applications out. Now we wait. He said he wants to be in a new place in a month so that I can be ready to have a baby there in December. I told him I can't do that. Temporary housing would be a game changer though. I hadn't considered that. We don't have much to bring. I am decluttering like crazy for unrelated reasons, but we would still need to hire movers. Oye. So much to think about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Would a major corporation really move that quickly? Hire him, and expect him to move cross-country and start work in a month? Yes. Its common. Most offer a month rental free though to give the families time to hunt for rentals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 I agree they usually want you as soon as possible, so if he's suggesting two weeks, they'll probably want to take it. A move anytime in the next 6-9 months is going to be hard. If you do end up moving, try to simplify as much as possible, but try really hard not to do anything that will damage your credit. Good luck, no matter what happens. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Just came to my senses. Most obstetricians may refuse to accept you as a patient so late in a pregnancy. Plus you may not have insurance coverage for some time period after your husband begins a new job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 It really depends on how much relocation assistance the company gives you. Some companies go so far as to buy your house from you if it doesn't sell quickly (that's how we bought our current house!), and others will pay for 3 or more months temporary housing (nice furnished apartment), all in addition to packers and movers! Now, if a company is offering that kind of relocation assistance, then, sure, you could move in a month. But, if assistance is limited to a few thousand dollars -- barely enough to cover a U-Haul and a few nights lodging, then, no, probably very, very hard to do. That said, I think it is really important to be with your husband when you have your baby! So, if your family needs for him to take a new job at this moment in time, then, sure, you better get a move on right away! If you are going to take a loss and likely get foreclosed on anyway, then, well, I guess you don't have as much to lose by moving out quickly, signing a listing agreement (read it carefully) with a realtor and hoping for the best. It is likely best to TRY to sell it instead of just abandoning it. Many mortgage companies accept "short sales" as payment in full, releasing you from the rest of the debt, as long as you are clearly impoverished and not able to repay the shortfall. So, you might as well list it and try to get the mortgage company to accept the short sale. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 It's possible, but not fun and I wouldn't do it willingly without a really good reason. Can your DH go ahead of you and rent somewhere small for a month or two? That would give you some time to find a place after he has a feel for the area and give you some time to wrap up what needs to be done on your end. If your pregnancy is normal and low risk I'd definitely prefer to move before the baby is born. Moving with newborns is not fun. I'd much rather deliver with a strange doctor in a strange town. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Would a major corporation really move that quickly? Hire him, and expect him to move cross-country and start work in a month? They definitely can move that fast. My husband got hired by a large corporation when I was about 7 months pregnant with my first, requiring a cross-country move. Looking back through what I wrote at the time, it looks like he left about 3 weeks later. It may have been even sooner - I think he went back and forth at least once, and the time I was writing about was actually the second time. He didn't immediately jump into a full-time work expectation - he had a lot of leeway in the first two months for taking care of relocation. We were also pushing forward as fast as we reasonably could so that I wouldn't end up so late in pregnancy that I couldn't fly. So it's possible we could have taken longer if we needed to. We were renting at the time, so selling a house wasn't an issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Agreeing with those who suggest you wait until shortly after the birth. Another reason to have your DH start the job while you stay in your current home: It gives him a chance to determine if he really likes the job, if it's a good fit. No reason to go through all the hassle of moving, unless he's going to stay in the job. Late in your Pregnancy? You need to stay put, and spend that "nesting time" packing up & hiring out a few home-improvement projects. The extra time (if you are having to convince him) would give DH a chance to think through all the changes, research housing options, and for you both to have a chance make more deliberate decisions without those surging pregnancy hormones. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 1. What is motivating the move? Is this the best way to get reliable long term employment? Is he (or are you) currently employed? Is it a fleeting offer, or will there probably be more/different offers at a more convenient time? 2. What does "moving assistance" mean? Can you put your feet up, hire pros to pack, clean and everything? How much work would fall to you? 3. For what reason(s) do you say renos could not be completed? In my imagination, you could just move out, then hire a handy-person or crew (maybe do thus on credit?) to complete the work in a few days or weeks, then list it. 4. Do you believe the house would sell at all? Can you explain what "walking away" would look like (ie repercussions, pros, cons, etc) If I were you, making it happen would only be ok with me if... (1) the other option was very likely to be long-term unemployment... Then it's 'whatever it takes' to secure food and shelter, etc. it would be crazy hard, but, if it's survival-imperative, then it guess it is. Or (2) if there was a ton of assistance, and I felt the house could be sold without much loss. That makes it 'not a terrible idea' -- hard but not awful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazyDazy Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Definitely put the house on the market "as is", there are buyers (like us) who specifically look for those deals. With the possibility of a short sale you may not even have to cover your loss, the bank may forgive the difference. Don't worry about doing anything with the house to get it ready to sell. Find a realtor to list with, move out, and do the rest long distance. If it doesn't sell then decide to "walk away", but at least this way you've done all that you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
songsparrow Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Would a major corporation really move that quickly? Hire him, and expect him to move cross-country and start work in a month? In my experience (not mine personally, but friends that I know and rental experience), if a corporation wants him to relocate quickly it will usually pay for the packing and moving. If that is a possibility in your case, that would be a *huge* amount of stuff off of your plate. I actually think it would be easier to deal with a move when you're 6-7 months pregnant (if you're having no pregnancy complications) than with a newborn. And this time of the year is better for a move than in the midst of winter (depending on where you're located.) I'd prioritize: * Finding a rental property or other housing at your new location. * Finding an ob/gyn at your new location. * Finding out details of medical insurance - will you be on new insurance immediately? will you need to extend your medical insurance under COBRA and will you get reimbursed for that? Then I'd focus on getting rid of stuff: * Declutter down to only the true essentials and consider hiring not only movers but packers and movers (if the corporation doesn't pay for them). The less you have to pack and move, the less expensive it will be; if you get down to essentials and can afford to pay for packing as well as moving, that would save you almost all of the physical labor involved (except for the unpacking) and would let you focus on logistics. * If you have a storage space (garage, basement, attic), and you're not sure yet about whether this move will happen, pack up everything that you'd be willing to declutter if you move but want to keep if you don't, and put it into storage. That will get it out of your way to allow you to do other packing, work in the house, get accurate quotes from movers (based on what stuff is left), etc. Then if the move happens, just call one of those places like the Veterans or Lupus that will pick up and have them pick up everything that's in storage in one big pickup. * If you're not going to hire packers, then I'd start boxing up as much as possible now and put it into one of those storage/moving pods, thus clearing as much space in the house as possible. Then I would expect dh to spend every spare minute from today forward working on house repairs - putting in flooring, sheetrock, painting, making sure the plumbing and electric works, etc. and getting the place at least presentable to show. You don't have to do all of the repairs / upgrades you had planned, but just make sure it has its bare bones in place. I wouldn't just assume that it won't sell or won't sell for a decent price. If you don't end up moving, you could have the pod returned and you'd have a house with floors, etc. for the new baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 We have when I was pregnant twice. NOT with selling a house, though. We almost took a job where we'd have 2 weeks to be across country and sell our house with major repairs. It was not going to happen, so we passed. I regret it, but it was probably the best choice. I would definitely do it if your dh needs the job. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Lots of good advice here. I'll just add that it really depends where you're going Does "out of state" mean something close enough for DH to drive and visit on weekends? Cross country? What is the rental market like in that area? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 We faced something like this, but did not have a house to sell. I had three kids, and was pregnant with my 4th. DH started in mid-July, and baby was due in mid-August. I called OBs in the new target city, and nobody would take me….so I stayed put. My parents came to stay with me near my due date, and that night I went into labor. I moved with the kids and baby (driving from FL to NY) when the baby was one month old. Moving with a baby was not tough. He slept a lot…and we stopped for me to nurse him. We packed/moved everything ourselves using a Penske truck. Found our apartment sight unseen via a website. Basically, we check Great Schools and assumed good school would be OK neighborhood. It worked well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2samlibby Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 This is the main reason I am leaning towards staying here. I don't have any help though. I don't know how I would manage on my own. Would a major corporation really move that quickly? Hire him, and expect him to move cross-country and start work in a month? Yes. If they need an employee, why wouldn't they want him threre in a month??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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