mommaduck Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Please keep us updated on how things go ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 BTW, whaddaya mean ya can't run to mommy with a problem? My mom's my second favorite problem solver. Please don't tell her not to listen to me whine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Call the police. NOW. Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 I would simply call the police and let them handle it. And the zoo director - let them know you will be contacting the police. Your dd needs protection and that little boy needs more help than he is getting from whomever is in charge of him. I agree. This child should NOT be in this situation. If your dd is protected he will just go after some other little girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl in NM Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Is there an update on this situation? Your family has been on my mind all day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 I'm not one to cry lawsuit, but I think I would at least *threaten* one to the camp director. The camp staff has been negligent. Period. I would also bring cps into this. As for the police, I think that would really depend on the boy's age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 Well it's now 8:30 pm and we are finally home from camp today. When we got there, the main staff and the coordinator of all child and youth programs at the zoo were waiting for me. Turns out the staff that dd told about the touching had not told anyone else until the staff meeting last night. When the coordinator heard everything that had happened until this point she freaked as much as I did. The boy was in the program when we got there, but the coordinator after speaking to me and dd to hear exactly what had been going on from her, pulled him out and kept him in an office while waiting for his social worker to arrive. In the mean time they also called the police for me so the littles and I waited for the police, filed a complaint and then went back to dd. It took 3 hours by the time I was done talking to police from the time we arrived. The boy's guardian and the boy were detained until the police could arrive and deal with him. I told them that while my gut instinct was to have this boy locked away for a very very long time, something more needs to be done for the boy since clearly he has something wrong going on in his mind and recommended an institutional setting as opposed to foster care to keep others safe from him. I also requested that the police show their presence to her so she could see the boy was being dealt with and that I would take her very seriously when she tells me these things. Also the police said they are going to have someone from victim services get in touch with my dd and offer her free counselling to deal with both this incident and the knife incident from Sunday night, because she is not feeling the world is a very safe place and at 9 years old she should not feel that way. I left the camp for a little while to feed the littles and nap the baby. DD was not happy I was leaving but did fine. We went early for pick up(like 2 hours early) and spent the afternoon in the camp. DD says she feels okay for me to just drop her off tomorrow. Tonight after camp I dropped the boys off at grandma's and I took DD and baby out for dinner and girl talk to let her know that this was not her fault, that she is strong by not allowing the boy to make her leave camp and how proud I was for her to have told me the truth about the situation, with reminders of telling someone immediately if a situation like that ever occurs again. So in the end I kept my dd safe, let my ds off the hook of having to look out for dd, hopefully got the boy some serious help, did some major shopping (while baby napped in stroller, I cured my stress my favorite way), and managed to keep my cool and not rip off the heads of the staff or the boy when I saw them. DD knows that no matter what I will protect her, including staying at camp even when I have other plans and involving the authorities, and hopefully with the counselling will make a full healing from this. I also plan on calling the children's pastor tomorrow and making arrangements for dd to talk to her too, mainly because while dd now knows it wasn't her fault, she made a comment at dinner about God being mad because this happened to her making her "not pure" as we talk often about being pure of heart, mind and body alot. I think if the pastor talks to her about it it will eliminate that worry of hers. Now I could really use a Mike's and I don't even drink. What a long trying week, and in 8 days I am supposed to watch them board a plane to Disneyland with uncle and his gf without worrying every minute. After this week I don't think a moment will go by when she is out of my sight that I am not worried sick for her for a very very long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 :grouphug: Momma, you did FANTASTIC. I'm so glad the coordinator got right on this and dealt with the perpetrator instead of restricting your DD. I will pray that your DD feels better after some counseling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 :grouphug: I'm so glad to hear the camp administrators took it as seriously as you did! You are a wonderful mom; your dd is blessed to have you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura in VA Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 and you're a great Mom! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 I think you ended up w/ the best of all possible outcomes. :grouphug: and wishes for feeling safe in the world again (for you, dd, and the rest of the kids too). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Man mom, you got it covered! Great job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Oh, I am so glad that it had the resolution that it did! You and your dd have been on my mind today. I'm also glad that you will get help from victim services and I'm glad that you will be talking to the children's pastor too. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 You were a wonderful parent today. Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 :grouphug:Brandy. I didn't post on your original thread but I've been thinking about you and your family all day long! You dealt with this so well- you're one terrific momma! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepy Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 I just hate that this happened to your daughter, but it sounds like you handled it very well. Good job! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdWTMer Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 I'm glad that they responded much better to the situation today. It's awesome what you did for your daughter. Kudos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Country Mouse Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Brandy, you handled this perfectly and I'm so glad that you and your dd were given the respect and appropriate response from the authorities you deserved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Brandy, you handled this perfectly and I'm so glad that you and your dd were given the respect and appropriate response from the authorities you deserved. :iagree: :grouphug: I"m happy to hear the proper reactions from the camp, and that everyone is going out of their to help your DD. I pray she is able to move past it and enjoy being a 9yo still (albeit not as innocent as she should be able to). More hugs..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaik76 Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Wonderful job, mama. And kudos for the people at the zoo who took immediate care of the problem once they heard about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shell in SC Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Thank God that turned out better than I expected. We had a boy in our neighborhood molesting other boys and our police did absolutely nothing b/c of his age. Said there were no laws to cover someone his age. . .WHAT????? They said if he'd have been 12 he could have been punished but he was only 10 or 11. Are you kidding me??? This boy lived with his mom/step-dad. Soc. Svcs investigated but I don't think anything ever came of it. You are fortunate that your authorities were so responsive. shell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 Thank God that turned out better than I expected. We had a boy in our neighborhood molesting other boys and our police did absolutely nothing b/c of his age. Said there were no laws to cover someone his age. . .WHAT????? They said if he'd have been 12 he could have been punished but he was only 10 or 11. Are you kidding me??? This boy lived with his mom/step-dad. Soc. Svcs investigated but I don't think anything ever came of it. You are fortunate that your authorities were so responsive. shell That is why I recommended institutional care for him and not foster care. THe law is the same here, because he is under 12 they could not charge him with a sex crime. I learned yesterday he was 10. So if cps doesn't take my advice and switch his type of care, he is going to have a long list of victims even bore he hits age 12 and can be formally charged. The police agreed with me, so I truely hope cps takes heed. They claim they are there to protect the children but if they let him stay in his current situation they are putting the population of children at large in danger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 that once the news went up the chain, the zoo made the appropriate response. What a relief for you, that you didn't have to demand that they call the police. To be a fly on the wall at that staff meeting, ooooo...! I applaud the way you handled yourself! I hope this will be an experience that in the end, will actually strengthen your daughter. Thanks for letting us know what happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shell in SC Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 That is why I recommended institutional care for him and not foster care. THe law is the same here, because he is under 12 they could not charge him with a sex crime. I learned yesterday he was 10. So if cps doesn't take my advice and switch his type of care, he is going to have a long list of victims even bore he hits age 12 and can be formally charged. The police agreed with me, so I truely hope cps takes heed. They claim they are there to protect the children but if they let him stay in his current situation they are putting the population of children at large in danger. You are so right. Our DSS said that since he was already in counseling (this was apparently a problem in the subdivision he used to live in as well) there wasn't much else they could do. That's debatable, but that's what they said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Part-Time Homeschooler Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Swellmomma - I'm so sorry that your DD had to go through this. It sounds like you handled it very well. She is blessed to have such a great mom. Take care! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl in NM Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Yay! You did a great job! I'm so glad that everyone with the zoo, cps and police did the right thing and took this seriously! Thank you to you for believing your daughter and standing up for her. Trust me, she will never forget it! You're an awsome mom! Sorry I was hard on you earlier. I didn't take shock value into account with your reaction. I probably wouldn't have done much better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in the Kootenays Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Good job, mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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