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alisoncooks
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No, mine is in 2nd grade and *if* she remembers about wiping, she will ask *me* to do it for her (if we're at home).  Seriously.  Where did I go wrong?  My other kid, same age, has been 100% independent with toilet matters since age 3 or 4.  If anything she wipes too much.  :P  Kids are weird.  :P

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Do you have wet wipes?  These are soooo much easier for kids to use.  My 5yo is independent, but still has the occasional pair of yucky underwear in her dirty clothes.  I think this is probably typical for most K'rs. 

 

As they say, if you want the job done right, you gotta do it yourself.  LOL. 

 

Also, totally gross, but some kids poop more "cleanly" than other kids- one little half-a$$ed wipe (sorry, couldn't resist...) and it's taken care of.  Other kids need 3 wet wipes before the job is done!  If she's in the latter category, it makes sense that it will take her longer to be fully independent 

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I wouldn't say all those public school kindergartners are totally independent. They probably needs baths pretty often. :) 

 

I did have a daycare boy once who insisted I wipe him until he was about 4 1/2. I finally asked his mom about it and she told me she'd stopped doing it months before! So the next time I just told him no. He started doing it himself. 

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I forced my 6 yo to get to this point when he was like 5 and 10 months. I was going out of town and he was staying with my sil. I was NOT going to do that to her! 

 

So here's what I did. I demonstrated. I'd wipe, then I'd make him wipe. We;d take turns.Together, we;d get his bum clean. After a couple weeks, I graduated to observer, with one final swipe to make sure that he got things clean.  He was VERY resistant. Apparently, wiping his bum was *so gross!!!!* so I guess it was okay for mom to do it, but he was above that nastiness. :)

 

After awhile, I felt confident that he could do it himself. He'd yell "I'm DOONNNNEE!!" I'd pop my head in the bathroom and say, "Great! WIpe your bottom and then wash up!" However, it took him over a year to quit asking for me to wipe him. I mean a full year of me saying "Nope, you can do it. You're a big kid!" 

 

We had to discuss appropriate amounts of TP. (yes, we counted squares) I also told him to flush if he had to use more than 2 wads of paper to keep from clogging the toilet. He might flush 4 times if he had a really messy poop, but it was better than a toilet clog or overflow.  I also had to buy particular kinds of TP that "felt" right to him.

 

I treated it as a part of growing up.

 

 

ETA:

BTW theres one weird quirk that I don't know quite what to make of. My son, 6 and 1/2 yrs old, squats on the toilet. He has his FEET UP ON THE TOILET SEAT and squats. It's so weird.

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I do the wipe yourself first and then I'll wipe to be sure you got it all thing.  He's not thrilled with that, but he cooperates (most of the time).  I CAN tell you that when he was in public school kindergarten he did NOT EVER wipe himself after using the bathroom.  Seriously.  Gross.  I suspect there are other 5 year olds in kindergarten doing the same thing.

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I still help my 9yo, but she has actual (textural) difficulties with BMs. Our procedure is that at school or an activity, she does the best she can, but as soon as I'm around she says a code phrase and we go finish cleaning.

 

She wears panty liners, which can help complete the wiping job (unless the were discarded earlier {due to the primary problem of fecal matter escaping before she arrives at a toilet} and not replaced). She also carries a clean-up kit with wet wipes, 2 fresh panty liners, and a clean pair if panties.

 

Even panties can help complete the wiping job, leaving "tire tracks" that are not the end of the world. They get changed at the next opportunity.

 

Anyhow, this is how "regular" (schooled) students deal with their potty issues when apart from their mothers. Honestly, when we're together, you can see how just giving her a helping hand makes the most sense.

 

Tip: The "arms too short" problem is solved by leaning forward before reaching back. No one can really comfortably reach their bottom standing straight up and reaching straight down/back.

 

(You have no idea how hard it was to resist abbreviation-puns that combine "brick & mortar" BM and "bowel movement" BM while writing the above post...)

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I think I'm a miserable potty-trainer, lol. My oldest (whom I suspect has issues other than maturity or desire) is still having accidents on a daily basis. She's 6 and a half :confused1:   That is so frustrating for me...although she doesn't seem to care.

 

The 4-year-old was much easier to train...but he doesn't always wipe himself either.

 

There are days when I just think potty training never, ever, ends.

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Okay, this I probably in the range of TMI:)

 

I have an extremely independent dd who was absolutely insistent that she could handle all the bathroom issues from a very young age...she was loathe to let me help.

She did a pretty good job of most things, but of course wiping the bottom can be a challenge for little arms/hands.

 

I finally put up a mirror on the back of the bathroom door! This allowed her to 'self-check' AFTER she had wiped. That feedback improved her uh, level of success tremendously. Now I haven't even thought about it in a long time. If you are brave/desperate enough to try it I swear it works very quickly!

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