PrincessMommy Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 now that it's become passe :laugh: I dropped it about 4yrs ago because I just couldn't stand the insipid chatter along with people I hadn't seen in 25+ years wanting to be my "friend" and then hang out - :scared: They weren't even my friends in high school. Why would I want to do a meet-up with a group of them at the local bar now is beyond me. Anyway, it's probably the winter doldrums at play here, and I very well may unsub. after a month or two. I'm already planning on not re-friending a lot of people and hiding some other people's feeds. But, give me your best tips for managing FB. We'll see how long I can last. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Here's what I do, Debbi: * I only have three FB friends -- my son and my two sisters. I have all notifications of their activity hidden and just go to their profiles when it works for me * I deny all other friend requests, messaging people to say "Nothing personal! I've chosen not to friend anyone except my two sisters and son." * Just join groups/pages that are of real interest to you (such as the Exploring Orthodoxy group that is a spinoff of the group here). Hide notifications from most all groups/pages (I like to get the daily menu for a local restaurant, so keep them active; same with Abbott Tryphon's daily blog post) * Use it for messaging I don't interact with people via profiles at all. If I have to contact someone, it's through messaging. If I can't message them because we're not friends, I use email. My FB time is *boring* now. I go there and there's nothing to do. Once in awhile I see something I want to check out, but rarely. And yet, it's accessible and a good tool when I need it to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Pretty much don't respond to random friend requests, and hiding feeds. Those two things cut my FB feed down to no drama. My FB feed is pretty much a keep in touch with people is short bursts with some pictures. It's a nice break and I keep up with people I wouldn't get to keep up with because of my own life stresses. Do not friend people who will create drama, who will engage in hostile political or religious discourse. I have one friend who I did not realize would do that--I hid him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tmhearn Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 I have my profile set to only allow people who are "friends of friends" to send me a friend request. So, random people from 20 years can't just friend request me. I also ignore other requests - like from 3rd cousins removed. I'm kind of like this IRL though to. Ha ha! I also hide people that I find irritating or offensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Don't bother. It's the dumbest waste of time ever. It has gotten even more pathetic since you left. Now your feeds will be filled with ads after half the posts and you'll be bombarded by your 80 yo dog sitter's grandma wanting you to read her tripe. Then when you try to clean them off the list, you'll feel bad. Go join Clickinmoms or a forum that you pay for that's actually worthwhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Marmalade Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Don't feel bad about turning down friend requests, just decline and go about your day. In retrospect, I wish I had declined a good many of my "friends", but now I would feel bad deleting them, so I mostly just ignore. Putting your settings at "friends of friends" as already mentioned is good too. I know there are people who really hate FB, but I've found the groups to be a HUGE asset for me. It's how I communicate with various groups of people in an easy and informative way. If you use an ad blocker in your browser you won't see the ads either. I use ad-blocker plus with Firefox, and I've never seen an ad on facebook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Just greatly limit your friends list. If there are people you feel you must be friends with (annoying aunt Sally that spams everyone 400 times daily), just hide her posts. Use the permissions to keep your environment as secure as possible. Don't hesitate to unfriend anyone who is annoying. I have zero drama on my FB feed, and I'm on a few private groups on FB that make it worthwhile going over there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Start with a new address that no one has, that way they can't find you easily. Don't call yourself your real name. Use a nick name or something else. Don't put a picture of you or your kids or your neighbors kids as your profile pic. Send a message to the people you want on your friends list, tell them that you are only selecting a small chosen few, ask them to not share it around. Then learn how to use the new facebook and create groups of friends "high school friends, home school friends, church friends, my kids, the in-laws, the out-laws, etc. As you friend people put them into their group. This is the next important part, un-follow their newsfeed. They will sit quietly in their little groups and not clutter up your news feed. When I go to my facebook, I only see some organizations and businesses pop up in there that I want to see. All my humans stay in their groups and I go visit each group there. This is great because when I want to post a homeschool type thing, I can send it just to other homeschoolers. The anti-homeschool people don't ever have to see it, so they aren't being feed anything to start up their troll like behavior. oh and listen to Lady Marmalade up above, good advice. I forgot about the ads because I never see them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Don't call yourself your real name. Use a nick name or something else. Just make sure it sounds like a real name. I used an online username that included initials for the first name and Facebook disabled my account with no warning whatsoever. I lost numerous files that I'd uploaded there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 If you use an ad blocker in your browser you won't see the ads either. I use ad-blocker plus with Firefox, and I've never seen an ad on facebook. Ooo, why didn't I think of this! I use an ad-blocker in my browser, but sometimes you actually have to click and tell it to start blocking that category of stuff. Cool, will do! And yes, I like the groups. I'm in a bunch of them. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Then learn how to use the new facebook and create groups of friends "high school friends, home school friends, church friends, my kids, the in-laws, the out-laws, etc. As you friend people put them into their group. This is the next important part, un-follow their newsfeed. They will sit quietly in their little groups and not clutter up your news feed. When I go to my facebook, I only see some organizations and businesses pop up in there that I want to see. All my humans stay in their groups and I go visit each group there. How do you do this? I didn't know these options existed! Just axing the feeds would be nice. There are some humans I like seeing the feeds from (husband's aunt of the third order one removed by the dog) and some I really don't (mother of the dog sitter). Ok, found it? It's under Friends, and it's a list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 5, 2014 Author Share Posted February 5, 2014 great advice all! I have a few questions: Do people still get notifications like "so and so is a friend of so and so, you may want to friend them too!" I found that annoying, but also the way long-ago acquaintances found me! I don't want those people to find me. Do they still do friend suggestions on FB? What does me mean to start with a new "address"? I don't understand... do you mean get another email address? I have no idea how to fake, but not fake my name for FB - I'm very uncreative that way. How are groups any different than say, the forum here? Before the groups were pretty lame on FB...just a way for everyone to "like" something (church, institution, high school, etc.). Is it different now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Keep your friend list short. The only friends I have are people that I actually know and talk to IRL. There are a very few people from my more recent past that are on there as well. I just don't accept many requests. At first a bunch pop up, but now I almost never get requests. There is no drama on my FB page. But all my friends are pretty well behaved IRL, so why wouldn't they be on FB? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 great advice all! I have a few questions: Do people still get notifications like "so and so is a friend of so and so, you may want to friend them too!" I found that annoying, but also the way long-ago acquaintances found me! I don't want those people to find me. Do they still do friend suggestions on FB? What does me mean to start with a new "address"? I don't understand... do you mean get another email address? I have no idea how to fake, but not fake my name for FB - I'm very uncreative that way. How are groups any different than say, the forum here? Before the groups were pretty lame on FB...just a way for everyone to "like" something (church, institution, high school, etc.). Is it different now? I had my dd sign up with a new email address from gmail. She's not really creative either, so her's is something like JaneDoeFacebook@gmail. com Inside facebook, you can shut off many of the email notifications you'd get via email. But, since everything is not going to a different email then you normally use, you can check it or not, your choice. If your name is Jane Lilly Doe, you could go by Lilly Doe, Jilly Doe, Jane Lilly, Doe Jane, Doe Lilly Just don't sign up as Jane Lilly Doe, that will make it easier for people to hunt you down, I mean find you. In my homeschool group we have some creative names. One lady goes as Prudence - it's the meaning of her name. Another as Puff Puffmama, she stopped smoking. If your homeschool has a name, go by that name. For me that would be HOPE Academy. Hope that helps to get your creative juices flowing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Debbi, the groups I'm in with FB I got into for a class, where we had been together and were wanting to keep up. I'm fiddling around with those lists things on FB, and it does give you some ability to affect what shows up on in your main news feed, which helps. I also figured out how to block the obnoxious ads, so that's a good change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 OhElizabeth, please share how you block the ads. FB has changed a lot in the last year. It's the embedded videos that are killing me now, they suck the life out of my (aging) iPhone. Used to be you could scroll past and not click, now they just start automatically. This is making it impossible for me to access Facebook when I'm away from a charger. I am also staying in for the groups, but I am about to hide probably 60% of folks from my news feed. Okay here's one that's not likely but just in case I must ask - is there any way to adjust settings to discriminate between a post that contains personal content actually generated by a friend versus stuff that is shared/aka forwarded or created on behalf of the friend ("so-n-so likes..., or "so-n-so's Facebook life story video")? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Debbi, the groups are completely interactive. It's like your news feed, but just within a group. People ask questions or post and others comment. You can post pictures, etc One of the main group of groups I use is local swap groups. It's like a yard sale through Facebook. People upload pictures of their what-not, list the price and then arrange for pickup with someone who's interested in purchasing. They have different levels of security -- you want to join groups that are at least "closed" or "secret." In open groups, everything that is posted and all members are viewable by all. In closed groups, others can see whose in the group but can't see the activity on the wall. With secret groups, they're not even findable without a direct link. No one can see anything unless they're part of the group (the EO group from here is secret; you'd have to connect with Alenee to have her send you an invite). Yes, it still says "You might know so-and-so." That'll never go away, I'm sure, as that's the backbone of what Facebook is -- connecting people with people. Just ignore it. You can also set your own privacy settings such that you don't show up when people look for you. As for a fake name, I've used something like Karen McSmith (completely different from my name but real sounding) but that was because I was the admin of a homeschool swap group and I wanted to profile separate from my real one so I could check on people if they blocked me. The one that was disabled by facebook was something like TR Genevieve (initials as the first name and my Orthodox name as the second name). I don't know if they picked up on it or if someone reported me (likely since a guy had hassled me about my name). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Seasider, you can google search for things to add to your browser. They're called different things (widgets, whatnot). I'm on Safari, and I use Adblock, a free thing you add. Try googling Adblock and see if they have a version for whatever browser you're using. Some of the browsers have their own websites of extensions and things you can add. So once you install the Adblock extension on your browser, it takes care of a lot of it. When it doesn't remove something, you can click it and select the option to tell it to block something. Then it will let you slide a slider till the offending item is totally gone. At that point it infers how to block, and shizam everything of that category is GONE from your view permanently. Snazzy! Btw, I also use Disconnect. That came up a while ago with the board changes here, when people wanted to know how to stop the tracking FB does when you're logged in. I'm not sure what all it blocks, but I'm sure it helps. When I was playing around with it this morning, I found the FB pages had "manage list" options on the right. You pull it down and it will let you de-select categories. You could axe videos, whatever you want. I had some friends I put to only show their photos, nothing else. You can select/de-select comments, etc. too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Thanks, OhE! I will carve out some time and follow up on these suggestions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Facebook is what you make it. I don't accept friend requests from people I do not want to be friends with. I hide news feeds from friends who post things that do not interest me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 5, 2014 Author Share Posted February 5, 2014 What about adblockers on a Tablet? Is it possible. I would hate those little snapchat type video's popping up and going on and on. Ugh. I've noticed a couple of my fav. blogs LOVE putting those up to make a point. I find it annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 5, 2014 Author Share Posted February 5, 2014 Oh, and how do you find secret groups you may be interested in joining if they're secret? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Oh, and how do you find secret groups you may be interested in joining if they're secret? There's a secret pat. ;) No really, someone in the group has to invite you. You have to be "friends" with someone in the group to get added to the group. So, for instance, our WTM board get together group for the Cincy convention is a secret group. It's outed here on the boards, obviously, but you won't find it just by searching on FB. To join, you have to be added by someone already in the group whom you are "friends" with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 What about adblockers on a Tablet? Is it possible. I would hate those little snapchat type video's popping up and going on and on. Ugh. I've noticed a couple of my fav. blogs LOVE putting those up to make a point. I find it annoying. I don't surf much on my iPad, because we don't do wifi. Hadn't thought about it, but you're right I don't think there are pop-ups on the apple mobile stuff. Just hadn't thought about it. The FB app does have flyouts for things, but that's different because it's something you can control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 They will sit quietly in their little groups and not clutter up your news feed. When I go to my facebook, I only see some organizations and businesses pop up in there that I want to see. All my humans stay in their groups and I go visit each group there. This is great because when I want to post a homeschool type thing, I can send it just to other homeschoolers. The anti-homeschool people don't ever have to see it, so they aren't being feed anything to start up their troll like behavior. Brilliant! I need to do this! The bolded is the best statement on earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 I love Facebook, and I never understand the "too much drama on my news feed" posts. Who are you people friends with??? :D If you want to join any secret group on FB, you will need to friend a member of that group, or allow them to friend you, and then they have to admit you. You can't do it on your own. Private, but not secret, groups are the same way. They will be searchable, but you cannot add yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 I love Facebook, and I never understand the "too much drama on my news feed" posts. Who are you people friends with??? :D I have real life friends who sometimes create drama on Facebook because they are so generally insulated from what people think in real life (they don't ever talk about those things in real life) that it doesn't occur to them that they have friends who believe veeeeeery differently than they do on certain things. I unfriend those people. I don't feel badly about it. They do sometimes get mad, but I mainly use Facebook to interact with my long distance family and friends. I don't need any stress or drama there from people who can't stop themselves from posting crazy things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan C. Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 My feed was getting ridiculous.... So I hovered the pointer over the names of the "heavy posters" and put it to "only important." That way I don't know their every move and thought... You can also click the upper right corner on a post you don't like and delete it from your feed. I don't ever check any other boxes, but I think there is an option to block there. If you do it enough, that person will not be in your feed. Ds says you can turn off your feed, but I don't know how to do that. I want some. He wants none! You can still go to someone's page and see what they have posted, or even, shock, call or meet them. I know. So old fashioned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Another helpful FB setting: My dh blocks ANYONE from posting directly onto his wall. They can comment on his posts, but not add something new of their own choosing. They can also message him privately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 I just did something that I'm LOVING. I ".unfollowed" about half of my Facebook friends. So, we are still friends, but there posts do not show up in my news feed. It has cut down on what I waste the reading SOOO much. Now, I only read about people that I truly care about. Should have done it years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 I have over 500 FB friends. Some of them are people I know well. Some of them are people I know only from Internet discussion forums, or they're friends of friends, or they're relatives I just connected with, or they're people I went to school with long ago and we're just reconnecting. I love 'em all. :-) I rarely visit individual timelines. I have hidden some people because although I still want to be in touch with them, they're just too, um, earthy for me, lol. I turn off requests to play games. Little trivial comments, I just let them scroll by, but once in awhile, they are important, and I'll "like" them, just so the person who commented knows I'm thinking of her. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted March 1, 2014 Author Share Posted March 1, 2014 I know this is a little old.. but I have a question. I re-joined FB the other day and unfriended a lot of people I didn't feel I needed to be friends with. It felt good... Anyway, I have another question about finding groups you want to join. Let's say you're interested in a group, but it's not a group any of your friends would be in. It could very well be a public group (I noticed that many are already), but how do you find it? I can't figure it out. Is there a way to search for public groups?? I'm still pretty lost. It's changed a lot in the last 4 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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