Headcovering

[swellmomma]

I am curious about those who believe women should have their heads covered and wear head coverings. I have been thinking about adding this as part of my transformation of my outward appearance(along with my change to dresses/skirts only, more modest tops etc). WHen mentioned to my mother I was considering this transformation she said she would report me to CPS for joining a cult. I am wondering if those who wear head coverings all the time faced strong reactions from family/friends over your choice. Also do you make your own? buy a scarf from the store? What do you use for your hed covering?

[Kelli in TN]

WHen mentioned to my mother I was considering this transformation she said she would report me to CPS for joining a cult. ?

 

Surely CPS would laugh her out of the office. They must have bigger fish to fry. If fashion choices dictate the fitness of parents then I am in a heap of trouble.

[mommaduck]

Guess CPS better get rounding up all the Orthodox Christians, all the Orthodox Jewish women, all the Amish & Mennonites, all the ultra conservative Reformed Christians, the Primitive Baptists, a few Pentacostals, some Pagans, some traditional Catholics, Muslims, Hindus....(need we go on?)

 

(I headcover and I'm Reformed aka Presbyterian)

[Kelli in TN]

Guess CPS better get rounding up all the Orthodox Christians, all the Orthodox Jewish women, all the Amish & Mennonites, all the ultra conservative Reformed Christians, the Primitive Baptists, a few Pentacostals, some Pagans, some traditional Catholics, Muslims, Hindus....(need we go on?)

 

(I headcover and I'm Reformed aka Presbyterian)

 

 

And don't forget women who are having a bad hair day.

 

 

Where will they put all of these offenders?

[swellmomma]

Surely CPS would laugh her out of the office. They must have bigger fish to fry. If fashion choices dictate the fitness of parents then I am in a heap of trouble.

 

oh I know, I am not worried about her actually do it, just shocked at how opposed she is to something so simple as head covering and wouldn't want her saying such things to my kids.

[swellmomma]

You can purchase some beautiful head coverings on line. The women in my church congregation who wear head coverings do so for cultural reasons as many of our congregation have left the Russian Orthodox church but covering their hair is still expected by their families.

 

I have gone 'round and 'round about it over the years myself. I am assuming you haven't joined a cult, so tell your mom that you will wear your hair anyway you like thank you very much!

 

I just googled for these sites.

 

Here are some patterns is you are handy with a needle. I keep thinking how nice it would be not to worry about what to do with all of my hair everyday!

 

Thank you, those links are exactly what I am looking for. I keep my hair tied back everyday because I like it long but hate the feeling on my neck/face, I am looking to do this more for spiritual reasons and because it feels feminine to have a scarf on my head.

[Parrothead]

I don't wear one. I've often thought it would be nice to wear one in church. We used to have to. But since no one else does, I don't. Mostly because we aren't supposed to cause a scandal, i.e., draw attention to oneself in church.

 

I think when we move again I'm going to start. Everyone always looks at the new person anyway.

[milovany]

[Just sharing *my* experience/conviction here; not saying anyone has to agree]

 

About a year ago I was convicted about the verses in 1 Corinthians 11 -- there's nothing there that to me says that the practice was "cultural for that day" which is how the verses tend to be dismissed. Also, the context to me says that the instruction for women to cover with a physical cloth covering is for group gatherings where teaching and prophesying will be happening (in the west this typically means "church" on Sunday a.m. but can vary I suppose). My final conviction is that this is for married women. Our 10yodd (we have three daughters) believes God has shown her to cover, but we don't require ANY of them to.

 

I personally don't see "dresses only" in the Bible so I haven't gone down that road. Modesty, OF COURSE, but nowhere do I see "dresses only." Again, that's *my* conviction and I don't suggest that all have to agree with me.

 

One other lady at church covers, that's all. We attend a charismatic nondenominational church. I've purchased most of my coverings at http://www.tznius.com ... I tend to wrap my hair up with a stretchy triangle scarf (knot-bun in back) with an accent scarf (shimmery blue or brown) wrapped around the front. The second weekend I covered there were three of us total on the same Sunday (second weekend for two of us; first for another). It seemed humorous to me at the time that several people had a word -- we have a time in the service where you can read from the Bible out loud or share something you think God is saying -- about "throwing off the veil." A couple people asked what was up and I replied that I was just obeying 1 Cor. 11. No one has said anything since then. Now it's en established habit that I don't see changing.

 

Just wanted to share my story!

[Faithseed]

I've "covered" for almost 2 years. I don't believe that every woman should cover, any more that I believe that every woman should wear dresses (I do). We don't require our girls to cover.

 

I do, however, believe that every Christian woman should seek the Lord with an open mind on all issues. Just truly seek His will. Whatever decisions you (and your husband/family) come to is your business :001_smile:

 

We have had quite a bit of reaction both with friends and family, as well as people in the community. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one in this whole area. I'm used to the strange looks, and often people do ask questions. On the other hand, people remember me! An extra reminder for me to mind my countenance and attitude.

 

I'm a person who would rather crawl into a hole than draw attention to herself, so this has been a transition for me. It's been good, though.

 

I've tried many different headcoverings online. I'm envious of milovaný for conquroring the scarf- I couldn't get the hang of it. My favorite has been the veil from this source http://christiancoverings.com/ I like the "Abigail" the most- it looks like a small scarf- not too "religious", if you know what I mean. The longer ones get in my way while sitting- I pull on them. I've ordered many different styles from many different places, but these have by far been the most quality, best made of all of them. Oh, and I really like the "Rachel", but I think mine was shorter than the one listed. All of them are nice, and I saw a couple more styles that I would try.

 

Sure, you could make them yourself. If you do, I suggest buying one from someone else, and just copy the pattern of what you like. I keep meaning to make some in fun colors to match better than white (or navy blue). I don't think they need to be boring :) Of course, headcoverings never seem to make it to the top of my TODO, but hopefully you'll have more sucess!

 

Hope this helped some.

 

Blessings

~faithseed

[swellmomma]

Thank you everyone for your replies, especially those that shared how they practice headcovering. I am going to pray further on it, and see what God tells me to do. Even I am sure he is leading me to headcovering I will do so and let my family, especially my mom deal with their own issues regarding it.

[JWSJ]

Where will they put all of these offenders?

 

<in joking voice>

 

CPS wouldn't be interested in putting the offenders anywhere.

 

They'd be interested in relocating the children...

 

Remember that whole Texas thing a few months ago.

 

Seriously.

[Rosie_0801]

Guess CPS better get rounding up all the Orthodox Christians, all the Orthodox Jewish women, all the Amish & Mennonites, all the ultra conservative Reformed Christians, the Primitive Baptists, a few Pentacostals, some Pagans, some traditional Catholics, Muslims, Hindus....(need we go on?)

 

(I headcover and I'm Reformed aka Presbyterian)

 

Don't forget the historical re-enactors!

:)

Rosie

[Remudamom]

Guess CPS better get rounding up all the Orthodox Christians, all the Orthodox Jewish women, all the Amish & Mennonites, all the ultra conservative Reformed Christians, the Primitive Baptists, a few Pentacostals, some Pagans, some traditional Catholics, Muslims, Hindus....(need we go on?)

 

(I headcover and I'm Reformed aka Presbyterian)

 

My girls and I are headcoverers, actually my girls are more convicted about it than I am. We're reformeded Presbyterians too. I grew up in an Episcopal church, and they had a basket of coverings by the door, in case someone forgot theirs.

[dawn of ns]

I cover my head because I don't have enough hair! But even when I did, I started covering at church, and it was remarkably freeing...

 

I tried it last year for about six months. Not for religious reasons but to eliminate doing my hair. It was freeing, just like you said and I was surprised by how the ritual of putting it on every morning felt so wonderful. Not only that but it seemed to give me a certain space when I was in public, if that makes sense.

 

I don't do it now and certainly never for religious reasons but I may do it again as it was a really nice experience.

[Twinmom]

I'm not a head-covering gal, but I did for the summer while on missionary service out of respect for those in the church who did. (I had a nice little lace headcovering that I actually loved wearing!)

 

I just wanted to say I appreciate your desire to do God's will for you in this area and I hope you get lots of support for doing so.

[Alyce]

I believe in head covering but I don't think it has to mean all your head. Just cover the top like they do in the Catholic Church. I have a couple of head covering I bought on line but I don't think they are dressy enough for church. For our more casual Wed dinner & Bible Study I wear a headband that is about 5 in wide. For church I wear a hat. Both are more modern ways of handling the problem. My church is more liberal and wouldn't understand my more literal interpretation of the bible so this is the way I handle it. You can get some great hats on Ebay and I've also found the headbands there although I have found a few at Family Dollar and Claires.

[camibami]

I'm Catholic, and sometimes feel like I should at church. I attended a Latin rite church just for the experience when I was a teen, and had to cover for Mass. I loved it- I had a lot of pretty scarves that I normally used as belts, but they sure look nice on my head, too! I couldn't make the leap to join that group, though, for various reasons, and at all the parishes we've ever been at, I would feel very, *very* odd with a headcovering. Which is too bad, because I like it. I totally get the "personal space" it gives you in public.

[starlashine]

I am really intrigued by this. I have extremely long hair at this point, and have also been covering my legs at all times for quite a few years now. I wear long sleeves when out of my home mostly as well. For those that already cover, how do you "do" your hair under the covering?

[Philothea]

Since it is not the prevailing custom among Catholics to wear a headcovering from day to day in the US, we don't do it. We stand out enough in our long skirts :)

 

However, we do cover our heads at every mass. My daughter wears a white veil normally, and I wear a black one.

 

http://www.sacramentals.com/ChapelVeils.htm

[abbeyej]

I'm Catholic, and sometimes feel like I should at church. I attended a Latin rite church just for the experience when I was a teen, and had to cover for Mass. I loved it- I had a lot of pretty scarves that I normally used as belts, but they sure look nice on my head, too! I couldn't make the leap to join that group, though, for various reasons, and at all the parishes we've ever been at, I would feel very, *very* odd with a headcovering. Which is too bad, because I like it. I totally get the "personal space" it gives you in public.

 

When I attended a Latin rite church a couple of years ago, they had a basket of lace veils at the entry. The people I met were all really welcoming, and someone explained that I (or anyone) was welcome to borrow a veil for the mass, or go bare-headed as I was. (I can't actually remember what I did!) Many of the regular members wore their own head-coverings, but not all.

[shalom22]

I have been wearing a haircovering for several years now. I am a very independent woman and for most of our marriage I have had to be the one to make the decisions which my husband should have been doing. About 5-6 years ago, we went through a serious testing time concerning our marriage, which ultimately drew us to a closer walk with God. In following this path, I finally understood that my proper place was to be under the authority of my husband and that is was his responsibility to make the decisions regarding the household, not mine. So now my husband knows what he is responsible for and I know where I am suppose to be. I began to wear the haircovering as a daily reminder, which I needed, of my position under my dh's covering. It has changed my attitude and helped to make me more of a Proverbs 31 wife. I am in no way perfect, so the haircovering helps me to remember what I am striving for.

 

Please don't misunderstand, I am not a brow beaten, little submissive wife, I am my dh's partner and we work together concerning our family life. But once his decision is made that is it.

 

Another reason that I wear the haircovering; as a married woman, I cover my hair in respect of my dh, so that no other man should look upon my hair and have unnecessary thoughts. It serves as a sign to (most) men that I am married.

 

I just found this comment on a Jewish site. It says it very well.

 

"The hair-covering was never intended to make a married woman look ugly. Beauty is a divine gift, and Jewish tradition encourages both men and women to care for their appearance and always look presentable. Jewish tradition also encourages modesty; not in order to detract from our beauty, but rather to channel our beauty and attractiveness so it be saved for where it belongs -- within marriage.

 

By covering her hair, the married woman makes a statement: "I am not available. You can see me but I am not open to the public. Even my hair, the most obvious and visible part of me, is not for your eyes."

 

The hair-covering has a profound effect on the wearer. It creates a psychological barrier, a cognitive distance between her and strangers. Her beauty becomes visible but inconspicuous; she is attractive but unavailable."

 

I have all kinds of scarfs that I wear, from bandanas, silk, a tube one that I love from REI, and most I got from Israel. You can find some beautiful ones at www.zaramart.com in Israel. They are very will priced and great service.

 

Many blessing to you on your journey.

Shalom

[swellmomma]

Okay another question. A few of you have mentioned married women wearing a headcovering as a sign of submission to her husband, and as shalom22 pointed out to show unavailability. In my case I am a previously married woman, but there is nothing to be found about a divorcee wearing a headcovering. I don't want to appear to be completely unavailable but feel the drw to wearing one.

 

Today I sported a cream colored bandana with flowers while out and about. It doesn't cover all my hair but does cover my head. All 3 of my kids asked about it so I explained why I was wearing it. My oldest DS announced that was cool and helped me choose a large square scarf from the dollar store. DD asked if she could start wearing one too, I told her to pray about it and let God let her know if she should. my youngest DS told me I looked like an old fashioned lady and should buy new barettes. So to appease him I bought very simple hair clips to help hold the scarf in place, so now he is happy.

 

While out and about I had a lot of smiles, doors being held for me by men(usually they don't), and over all it wa very pleasant. My folks have not seen it. I have felt awesome wearing it, and got a little thrill everytime I caught a glimpse of it int eh rear view mirror while driving, knowing that I was being to forward with my faith.

[Frelle]

It is something I have been convicted about, but have not taken the steps to start doing it. I inquired about it at church, and discovered that several other women over the years have been similarly convicted, and all have encountered scorn and there has been divisiveness in our church over it. My friend who has most recently dealt with it has this story: She became convicted to cover during prayer/at church and very many women at church gave her attitude and spoke to her about how she was arrogant to assume that she alone was interpreting scripture correctly. She wore it for several months, until she and her family left for a mission trip to Burkina Faso. While in BF, all women covered during prayer/services, so she kept the covering there. When they returned to the states, she decided to not cover at our church anymore out of respect for the unity of the church.

 

I am not about to invite that into my life right now.

 

I have decided that when we change churches/move, that I would like to start covering outside the home at services.

[Another Lynn]

As I read Shalom22's post I was reminded of a time in this country when most grown women (i.e married?) wore their hair "up" vs. down. It seems likely that the only person who would see a woman with her hair down would be her husband. So perhaps another way of following conscience on this might be to wear your hair up in public? I've never thought about any of this before, I'm just "thinking out loud."

 

Interesting topic!

[Faithseed]

Someone asked how one wears one's hair under a covering.

 

As I flesh out, year by year, what my purpose of covering is, my usage changes somewhat.

 

For those who want to cover their hair (which is what I almost always do), I use "updos" that lay flat against my head. Otherwise, the covering sticks out and looks a little silly :) I do a flat bun, or a modified french twist, or braid and pull around my head, or french braid and tuck under. I secure the updo with a hair fork or comb or pins if needed.

 

If covering your hair is a non-issue for you, the best way I found is to pull the sides back in a barrette, then cover. It keeps the sides at bay. Or leave a long braid, and cover.

 

I also wanted to clarify my comment about "too religious". What I meant by that is that I don't wish to appear "stuffy" or unapproachable just because I have another symbol of my faith. I know that even the Mennonite caps can be approachable when worn with a smile....it just seems that some of the coverings look a little bit less formal than the other ones. Hope I didn't offend anyone by not clarifying to begin with!

[Faithseed]

As I read Shalom22's post I was reminded of a time in this country when most grown women (i.e married?) wore their hair "up" vs. down. It seems likely that the only person who would see a woman with her hair down would be her husband. So perhaps another way of following conscience on this might be to wear your hair up in public? I've never thought about any of this before, I'm just "thinking out loud."

 

Lynn,

 

That's a good point. I actually started down this road by wearing my hair up all of the time. I finally got my hair very healthy, and was growing it out. My husband started commenting that other guys were looking at my hair, and would I please consider wearing it up. That led us to the whole head covering debate, and whether or not we were just trying to avoid it because it wasn't a popular thing to do.

[starlashine]

Thank you for answering my question, faithseed. I have been trying out the flat bun today, and it is working out nicely, but I like the braid around the head idea.

[King Alfred Academy]

I just wanted to say that I find this thread very interesting. Kudos to you who live out your convictions. :001_smile:

 

I have some beautiful scarves I have tried to wear (not for religious convictions, but just because I like the look) and have not been able to get it right. I have appreciated the links some of you have provided because they show you how to tie them! Thanks!

[Faithseed]

If any of you ladies who wear scarves would like to share how you keep it on your head without it sliding right off- I'm all :bigear: !!!

 

I can tie a nice pretty knot, and do some of those fun things, but the scarf fall off every time, even when I pin in place.

 

Thanks!

[Peri]

I wear a headcovering. I buy scarves, fold them into a triangle, and then pin it snuggly under my chin. I have been wearing a scarf for about 12 years now and you get used to it pretty quick. At first the stares I got from people in the stores really got to me but now it doesn't bother me at all. What I hated the most was that some people assumed that I was stupid and didn't speak a word of english.

[Peri]

Okay another question. A few of you have mentioned married women wearing a headcovering as a sign of submission to her husband, and as shalom22 pointed out to show unavailability. In my case I am a previously married woman, but there is nothing to be found about a divorcee wearing a headcovering. I don't want to appear to be completely unavailable but feel the drw to wearing one.

 

Today I sported a cream colored bandana with flowers while out and about. It doesn't cover all my hair but does cover my head. All 3 of my kids asked about it so I explained why I was wearing it. My oldest DS announced that was cool and helped me choose a large square scarf from the dollar store. DD asked if she could start wearing one too, I told her to pray about it and let God let her know if she should. my youngest DS told me I looked like an old fashioned lady and should buy new barettes. So to appease him I bought very simple hair clips to help hold the scarf in place, so now he is happy.

 

While out and about I had a lot of smiles, doors being held for me by men(usually they don't), and over all it wa very pleasant. My folks have not seen it. I have felt awesome wearing it, and got a little thrill everytime I caught a glimpse of it int eh rear view mirror while driving, knowing that I was being to forward with my faith.

 

Well in my faith, a young lady needs to start covering her head when she reaches the age of puberty. We have also been given the reason of #1 not being molested by men and #2 to be known as believing women. What I tell young girls when they are struggling with starting to wear the headcovering is, "A girl with a head covering is like a rare jewel that is kept safe and not put out in the open for eveyone to grab and touch and then discard of as though it were a fake." For us, a mater of wearing the scarf is a matter of selfworth.

[mommaduck]

There are tight cloth snoods you can put under scarves. I have one, but it hurts my head because it's too tight, especially since I wear glasses. I plan on making some that are looser though. I also make my own snoods. I have to pin everything or at least drive in my car without a covering (for some reason I cannot drive with one on...THAT is when mine slip off).

[milovany]

One way I use is to pull out a bit of hair on the very top of my head toward my forehead and put a pony tail there (the scarf is going to cover it). Then I put the scarf on and use two long straight pins -- one going each way -- on top of the scarf; when pushed in from the top, through the hair and then back up above the scarf *below* the ponytail (between the ponytail and my forehead) then the pins can't slip past the ponytail and the scarf stays on! You can cover the pins by folding the scarf back over them or by using an accent scarf tied around your head.

 

HTH!

[Tutor]

I wear a hat to church as well. We used to belong to a church where many women wore headcoverings to service and then I wore a lace scarf on my head because it was what I liked. I wear hats now because I am the only one (besides my girls) who wears a headcovering and it is less distracting than wearing the lace scarf. I would like to not be a distraction during the worship service while still being obedient to Scripture and my beliefs.

[HomesteadMommy]

If any of you ladies who wear scarves would like to share how you keep it on your head without it sliding right off- I'm all :bigear: !!!

 

I can tie a nice pretty knot, and do some of those fun things, but the scarf fall off every time, even when I pin in place.

 

Thanks!

 

The only thing I've found to keep them on is the snapable hair clips. I put one above each ear and then two on top of my head. It holds it pretty well even if a baby grabs it. :D

[HomesteadMommy]

I started covering 6 years ago. Normally I ware a D shaped veil, some times its called a missionary veil. I put my hair up in a bun, then lay the veil across the top of my head a few inches back. Then bring the corners down under my bun and snap it in place. I use 4 hair clips to hold it on, one over each ear and two in the top center.

I bought my first one from woman I met online but after that I made my own.

[swellmomma]

The only thing I've found to keep them on is the snapable hair clips. I put one above each ear and then two on top of my head. It holds it pretty well even if a baby grabs it. :D

 

This is what I am using too. I bought a pack of like 20 of them at the dollar store and they hold it really well.

[MelaniePA]

If you knit or are otherwise crafty, you could make your own. I knit mine and have found several free patterns online. Googling kerchief or something should get some good links.