Outside Activities/Commitments

[briansmama]

Hi All,

I'd love some advice on how you all handle outside commitments. I'd especially love to hear from those of you who try to limit them because you love having time for spontaneous outings with your dc to add some fun into the week.

 

Last year felt way too rushed and scheduled for us. Now, we have a very solid routine centered on mealtimes/sleep times/quiet times, and within that we do have a daily plan for lessons. But we seemed to have a scheduled activity every day of the week. This left no time for my dreams of finally being able to pack up our lessons and head to a park, coffee shop, library, etc. Now that it's summer and we are doing some lessons as they fit into our day I'm finding that we are just having way more fun together, even while doing math and reading practice.

 

So, I'm trying to see if I can keep that same enjoyment and peacefulness throughout our school year too. But with sports practice/games occurring nearly 4 days per week and piano lessons one day per week and homeschool park days another afternoon per week, it's looking so full already that I am considering skipping the weekly science class for both dc. I'm also seriously considering how much we really get from our HS group and if we should continue trying for the weekly park days. We have a few friends we love seeing there, but we see them enough outside of the group and honestly, my dc don't really like going to park days. The group is inconsistent and it isn't a fit for my dc with most of the other kids. Many are either a lot younger or just not into the same things.

 

Would I be a terrible homeschooling mom if I drop the weekly park days from the schedule, and the weekly science classes, and not even consider the weekly art classes? Can I really just sign them up for sports and piano and call it a great year? :)

 

Thanks for any help and assurances that I'm not being selfish for wanting to have FUN with my dc this year instead of rushing around every day!

[mamamindy]

I seem to be in the minority - at least in my neck of the woods! - but I severely limit our outsides commitments.  Currently I have a new baby, but I have always tried to limit the amount of time we were away from home.  It stresses me out!  And if mom's stressed out, everyone's having a bad day!  :lol:   I am not sure how old your children are (or if it even matters) but for us we have a library/park day, ballet, and church commitments, and that is all.  We do extra fun stuff, like field trips, pool days at Grandma's, visit Daddy at work, etc., spontaneously, and when it works for us.  I would definitely NOT feel bad about dropping your park day, especially if your children don't enjoy it.  Isn't that the point?  You are NOT selfish.  I think it's wise to leave some room for fun in your days!

[kiwik]

I don't homes school but after school, work and 3 afterschool for the last three weeks of last term I have decided that in future two after school things is the maximum. Good luck.

[mumto2]

We did no formal outside activities until dd was 10. We did one time field trips with groups and attended church. Plenty for us back then. My dh has his own business and we spent lots of days with Daddy when he had unexpected time off. We still do not do as much as many of our friends probably because we still prefer to do spontaneous family activities over scheduled. I don't regret it at all and find it really hard to get school work done when the calendar gets too full.

[katilac]

nm, I better answer later, when I've had more coffee, lol.

[Ellie]

Hi All,

I'd love some advice on how you all handle outside commitments. I'd especially love to hear from those of you who try to limit them because you love having time for spontaneous outings with your dc to add some fun into the week.

 

Last year felt way too rushed and scheduled for us. Now, we have a very solid routine centered on mealtimes/sleep times/quiet times, and within that we do have a daily plan for lessons. But we seemed to have a scheduled activity every day of the week. This left no time for my dreams of finally being able to pack up our lessons and head to a park, coffee shop, library, etc. Now that it's summer and we are doing some lessons as they fit into our day I'm finding that we are just having way more fun together, even while doing math and reading practice.

 

So, I'm trying to see if I can keep that same enjoyment and peacefulness throughout our school year too. But with sports practice/games occurring nearly 4 days per week and piano lessons one day per week and homeschool park days another afternoon per week, it's looking so full already that I am considering skipping the weekly science class for both dc. I'm also seriously considering how much we really get from our HS group and if we should continue trying for the weekly park days. We have a few friends we love seeing there, but we see them enough outside of the group and honestly, my dc don't really like going to park days. The group is inconsistent and it isn't a fit for my dc with most of the other kids. Many are either a lot younger or just not into the same things.

 

Would I be a terrible homeschooling mom if I drop the weekly park days from the schedule, and the weekly science classes, and not even consider the weekly art classes? Can I really just sign them up for sports and piano and call it a great year? :)

 

Thanks for any help and assurances that I'm not being selfish for wanting to have FUN with my dc this year instead of rushing around every day!

 

I absolutely limit outside activities with others that happen before 3 or 4 in the afternoon. No co-ops. No homeschool classes such as dance or music or art that happen before 3 in the afternoon. Monthly park day, not weekly, and only if they are on Friday. No doctors appointments on Monday or Tuesday (my Official School Stuff, never-leave-the-house days). No field trips with the support group unless they are on Thursday (my regularly scheduled weekly field trip day) or they are super stupendous but require a large group.

 

We went to the library every Wednesday. That left us Wednesday afternoon for random get-togethers with friends--and I do mean "random," as in very spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment.

 

Dds had dance classes which were in the late afternoon/early evening. A couple of times they did AYSO soccer, and later, marching band. They were also in 4H for a few years. Those activities were community-based, not just for homeschoolers, and so they were always scheduled according to public school hours. That worked for us, as well. :-)

[happypamama]

Finances have prevented us from doing many outside activities at all for the past few years, and honestly, it's not been so bad! Your year will be just fine if you limit the outside activities. Maybe cut back to the minimum that you feel is okay, and then over time, add more things once your yearly flow is going well.

[Parrothead]

I have entirely too much to do to have many outside commitments. Dd has activities that take precedence over meetings, coffee with the girls or things like that. This is her career choice so there isn't anything to be done but allow the activities.

 

In order to get it all in we are up early and well scheduled. But we still get out of the house for a change of educational scenery. We will pack up a couple of subjects and head to McD's or Tim Horton's for a couple hours in the morning between the breakfast and lunch rush.

[MomOfOneFunOne]

AMDG

 

We (mostly) limit activities to 4.00 - 6.00.  We school all day; Dad works all day; the only time we have as a family together is evenings and weekends.  I am not willing to give that up.  I want us At Home, Together in the evenings.

 

Having said that, though, these are our activities and when they are.  We started with a firm rule of no evenings but . . . as you can see . . .

 

Monday

Orchestra -- 4.30-5.30

Swim team -- 7-8.30 -- we will add this in September. I just took an ongoing client for Monday nights so we decided to get a practice out of the way on a night family was messed up anyway.

 

Tuesday

Home! 

 

Wednesday

Swim -- 4-6

 

Thursday

Home! except Championship Meet is on a Thursday.

 

Friday

Violin -- 11 -- blech.  I would like to move us to 3 and as soon as we can we will.

Swim team -- 4-6  (see, how three would make a good violin lesson time?  One trip)

 

Saturday

Swing Dance - 6.30 - 9.30 -- just my daughter and I go and we love it.  Sorry Dad!  He stays home to wk on a project or watch a movie or something.  

 

A note about plays:  My daughter LoVeS! being in plays but as a family we just can't.  As much as she loves them I cannot stand being out of the house almost every night.  At first we limited them to "outside of Advent and Lent only" but found that even just during school is too much, too.  Now we have a summers only play allowance.  So, during summer, add EVERY NIGHT!  AGONY!

 

So, for the most part we are home shortly after 6 and stay that way: supper at the table and family together.  This is very important to me.   Saturdays are inverted with everyone together during the day and the girls out at night.

 

As far as spontaneity during the school day is concerned, we school out (coffee shop, library, whatever) all.the.time!  And not that my phone is a mobile hot spot, double that!  We love to school out.  I have a bike with a trailer so we can ride to the library with our books.  We go to the coffee shop so often that we will surely invite them to graduation!  

 

With a mobile hot spot we can even follow a wild hare and hop in the car for a road trip and school on the way and no matter where we end up, can still have school.  For example, we have a favorite swim hole about an hour and a half from here.  We can hop in the car and my girl can work on whatever on the way.  When we get there we swim and play.  Take a break for lunch and study or read or whatever.  THen swim and/or rest and then school on the way back home.

 

We also have a favorite little trip down Route 66.  We hop on and head out with books, study/class/whatever, get there and have lunch and hang out.  Same deal coming home.  We enjoy the drive b/c it is so pretty in autumn so much that we do this several times b/f the leaves fall.

 

One catch, though.  We can't really do this on lab days or days we have swim practice.  We just can't get back in time to rest and get where we need to be.  Still, we're flexible enough that we can swap a swim day to match up with a lab day and then take off.  For example, if it turns out that we'll need to be doing labs on Tuesday and swim is on Wednesday, we just change the sched. so that she goes to practice on Tuesday instead and now Wednesday is free.  

 

If you want free and easy, my dear, your best friends will be a well-stocked freezer/pantry and a crockpot (or oven with automatic timer).

 

 

[mom2scouts]

We do some fairly time consuming extracurricular activities in the evening and on weekends, so I try to limit outside activities during the day. We do a once a month program at a zoo and a weekly homeschool P.E. class. Those two things are both in the early afternoon, so mornings are always for academic work. We sometimes do field trips, but I am very picky about which ones we do. Some of the local homeschool groups are constantly posting about park days, laser tag, art and music classes, parties, or other things that sound fun, but won't allow us to concentrate on academics.

[coffeegal]

Would I be a terrible homeschooling mom if I drop the weekly park days from the schedule, and the weekly science classes, and not even consider the weekly art classes? Can I really just sign them up for sports and piano and call it a great year? :)

 

Of course you can! :D  That being said, personally I prioritize the weekly park days over classes and sports. It's hard for my family to make friends at formal classes, but we've made many wonderful, lasting friendships at park days. Over the years it's been a real blessing to have a support group we meet every week. :001_smile:

[MinivanMom]

We do a lot of outside activities, but we limit them to the hours between 3 and 7 pm.  That gives us space during the day to get schoolwork done or to occasionally take the day off and head to the zoo or a museum.  We also have two days a week (Fri & Sun) that are completely free of activities.  In the off season it's three days in a row (Fri, Sat, Sun) that are completely free of activities.  It gives us time to rejuvenate and spend time as a family.

 

We have dropped park day for the same reason.  We were not having the same kids show up from week to week so it was not a friendship-builder for my kids, who often just played with each other.  They can do that in the backyard!  We've had better experiences inviting a single family to meet us at the park.

[Kelly1730]

If your dc don't like going to park days then that would be the very first thing I cut out. And wouldn't give it a second thought. Like anything else, I think we need to prioritize those outside commitments. We attend our kid's program at church on Wednesday nights (dh and I are leaders so we are with our boys), piano lessons once a week and a co-op twice a month. I do the co-op for the boys, they love it and, outside of church, it's really their only social outlet. I'm lousy at getting anything accomplished in the afternoons especially if we've been out all day so the majority of our school must be done in the morning to early afternoon. 

[fairfarmhand]

Cut out what you don't absolutely love or feel is essential to the success of your kids.

 

I decided a long time ago that I would have at least 1, preferably 2 days every single week where we went NOWHERE and simply stayed home. It helps so much to know that we won't be leaving the house on a particular day.  It doesn't always work out like that, especially in the winter when people get sick and have to go to the dr., but I love being able to relax and enjoy the day without having to scramble to get people in the car.

 

Rather than a park day, would your kids prefer a play group where you take turns inviting or visiting a select group of friends at your homes? Say you have 2 families that your kids enjoy the company of. One week you host, and the other weeks you visit at your friends' homes. You may want to visit with the moms, or set it up as a "mom's afternoon off" type thing where you watch the kids while the other moms do errands or clean or take a nap. If you set this up for an every other Tuesday thing, it wouldn't be too cumbersome. The key would be to only include 1 or 2 families to avoid things getting complicated.

[2_girls_mommy]

We are pretty busy and do belong to a once a week co-op, so I wasn't going to answer.  We have co-op one full day a week, dance one afternoon a week, scouts on the same afternoon as dance, and then this coming year we have committed to Robotics team which will take one more afternoon a week for a limited time.  So we are busy.

 

But then I saw people say they limit to after school hours.  And yes, I limit to only after school hours, except for the one co-op day.  We have school usually 4 days a week.  That one evening we leave around 3:30 for dance and scouts.  Other weeks we do spontaneous field trips, playdates, or family things in the morning, and finish up important school work that afternoon/evening.  We often work on weekends too to make up for anything like that during the week.  We work at Barnes and Nobles once in awhile.  We go to the library one evening a week, and do any "homework" while there as needed. 

 

Besides the one full day out of the house though, I wouldn't schedule classes during the week on a regular basis.

[briansmama]

Cut out what you don't absolutely love or feel is essential to the success of your kids.

 

I decided a long time ago that I would have at least 1, preferably 2 days every single week where we went NOWHERE and simply stayed home. It helps so much to know that we won't be leaving the house on a particular day. It doesn't always work out like that, especially in the winter when people get sick and have to go to the dr., but I love being able to relax and enjoy the day without having to scramble to get people in the car.

 

Rather than a park day, would your kids prefer a play group where you take turns inviting or visiting a select group of friends at your homes? Say you have 2 families that your kids enjoy the company of. One week you host, and the other weeks you visit at your friends' homes. You may want to visit with the moms, or set it up as a "mom's afternoon off" type thing where you watch the kids while the other moms do errands or clean or take a nap. If you set this up for an every other Tuesday thing, it wouldn't be too cumbersome. The key would be to only include 1 or 2 families to avoid things getting complicated.

Yes, my kids would like to do this more, and we just haven't had the time until summer hit and now we are enjoying play dates again. I think this is more the direction I'm going- inviting friends over more often and limiting group activities that aren't working as much.

 

So now I've got us down to 3 weekdays out of the house w/sports, piano, and gym. Luckily they are all afternoon activities. It still feels like a lot but I don't think I can scale us back any more than this.

[airforcefamily]

We limit it and almost always combine activities. With a big family where most of the kids are still little it's just not fair to everyone for myself and four of the kids to sit in a crowded waiting room (or in the car) for an hour or two so one of the kids can go to an activity. We live too far from everything for drop off activities to be possible and evenings are reserved for family time unless there is a special single event type activity. When the kids are older and I'm not having to chase a toddler or pace with a baby in a waiting room or on bleachers then all the kids will be able to do more activities but for now they'll be just fine with one or two.

 

To 'make up' for the relative lack of activities during the year the older kids get to go to sleep away summer camp for a couple weeks in the summer. It gives them lots of social time, sports, misc. activities, swim lessons, etc. to hold them for most of the year.

[briansmama]

Air Force, I LOVE that compromise! I'm seriously considering the same offer for my dc. Both my kids really want to go to camp. I've always said no because it's the one time they don't have a ton of outside commitments. I think your idea to flip that around sounds fantastic. There are many wonderful camps/activities/classes offered here over the summer, many are even offered through the same businesses that offer weekly classes throughout the year. Thanks for the idea!

[Pen]

Of course you can limit it and be fine.  If you need to feel justified in this you might like the books Simplicity Parenting and or The Hurried Child.

[SuzySparkle]

I absolutely limit outside activities with others that happen before 3 or 4 in the afternoon. No co-ops. No homeschool classes such as dance or music or art that happen before 3 in the afternoon. Monthly park day, not weekly, and only if they are on Friday. No doctors appointments on Monday or Tuesday (my Official School Stuff, never-leave-the-house days). No field trips with the support group unless they are on Thursday (my regularly scheduled weekly field trip day) or they are super stupendous but require a large group.

 

We went to the library every Wednesday. That left us Wednesday afternoon for random get-togethers with friends--and I do mean "random," as in very spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment.

 

Dds had dance classes which were in the late afternoon/early evening. A couple of times they did AYSO soccer, and later, marching band. They were also in 4H for a few years. Those activities were community-based, not just for homeschoolers, and so they were always scheduled according to public school hours. That worked for us, as well. :-)

 

Ellie, I don't mean to hijack this thread, but I wanted to ask you about your schedule. I've seen your posts before mentioning it and am curious.

 

It appears that your official school days (not including any educational field trips) consisted only of Monday, Tuesday, and 3 Fridays per month since Wednesdays were library visits and Thursdays were field trips. I feel certain that I would not be able to count weekly field trips as school days in SC (although I could certainly be misinformed about this!), so how did you get everything done in a 3-day school week? Did you school year-round? Were you an unschooler? I'm trying to make my very first homeschool schedule, and I find it hard to get everything in! We are lucky to have a multitude of homeschool opportunities here, and I am trying to whittle them down. :)

 

As to the OP, I am running into the same problem as you. I thought that I would have no problems once my daughter (10) dropped competitive gymnastics, but I still have to schedule in weekly piano, religious ed, and dinner with a friend (and her kids) whose husband travels weekly! That's not to mention the monthly zoo and art museum offerings, as well as weekly homeschool PE classes at the Y. I don't want to overwhelm our schedule, but we do not co-op, so I want my girls to have interesting opportunities with other HS friends.

 

I guess I always thought I would have LOADS of free time when I homeschooled! Now, understand the desire for people to school year-round!!!

[Ellie]

Ellie, I don't mean to hijack this thread, but I wanted to ask you about your schedule. I've seen your posts before mentioning it and am curious.

 

It appears that your official school days (not including any educational field trips) consisted only of Monday, Tuesday, and 3 Fridays per month since Wednesdays were library visits and Thursdays were field trips. I feel certain that I would not be able to count weekly field trips as school days in SC (although I could certainly be misinformed about this!), so how did you get everything done in a 3-day school week? Did you school year-round? Were you an unschooler? I'm trying to make my very first homeschool schedule, and I find it hard to get everything in! We are lucky to have a multitude of homeschool opportunities here, and I am trying to whittle them down. :)

 

 

No school on Fridays. Ever. :-)

 

You wouldn't count field trips as school days?

 

Happily, I lived in a state that had no requirement to keep attendance or a minimum number of school days (California). We were unschoolers. I counted *everything* as part of my children's education, including library and weekly field trips, not to mention Camp Fire, 4-H, Missionettes, Highland dance, and marching band.

 

But my routine did not allow for activities with others in the morning. Those hours with my dc were sacred. When I tried to do other stuff in the morning, I felt as if the air were being sucked out of our time together, and none of us really benefited from it.

 

Lest you think that I was a slacker :D both of my dds were able to begin taking community college classes when they were 14yo.

[CyndiLJ]

Early on, I tried to do it all...Scouts, sports, church...you name it.

 

We were miserable.

 

Now we are down to volleyball for 3 months of the year, and we did have TaeKwonDo two evenings a week for the school year but as if this year our teacher retired and we might not try and move on with it.  One son has one evening a week with Civil Air Patrol.

 

That's it, and we are far happier.  We do church activities, we volunteer at our Food Bank one morning a week, but we will not live and die by the outside activity.  It left us no time together as a family, and we all hated it.  We might add in a little something here or there for enrichment, but nothing with heavy requirements for attendance, etc.  It's just too hard with a larger family.

 

 

[Sobeknofret]

We do limit the outside activities that Darth Kid does. He has one sport (swimming) that takes up evenings, one science class, and I'm hoping for one art/music lesson. Other than playdates, that's it. Ds is an introvert however, and thrives on quiet time and a limited social schedule, so we work to accommodate that.

[SuzySparkle]

Ellie, I would never suggest anything of the kind!!! I was just wondering if I was a poor planner!

 

I'll have to find out how many field trip days in SC can count as school days. The monthly activities I'm considering that would prevent schooling before include an educational class at the zoo. The time of the class would make it hard to school that day since it cuts right into the mid-morning, and I know the girls would want to stay for a bit after. :)