blondeviolin Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 You'd think I'd never had a baby before! This little guy is needy and fussy. He's always been like this. The first night after he was born, the nurse finally came in at 5am asking if she could take him on her rounds so I could get even twenty minutes of sleep. We're starting school in a few weeks after 3 months off. I NEED to get some routine back for my olders. At 3 months, he has no consistent nap schedule or routine. In the morning, he wants to nurse all day long. I can't just sit around nursing all of the time! Here's how it's gone so far this morning: 8 wake 915 sleep 950 wake only to nurse, then back to sleep 1015 sleep 1023 wake 1140 sleep He doesn't put himself to sleep. He normally falls asleep nursing. I have no qualms about that, but I need to get leave him sometimes. The INSTANT I put him down or leave his side, he's squalling. He's rarely put himself to sleep. Like twice. Ever. If he's completely and absolutely exhausted and I'm holding him just so and swaying, he will fall asleep. But the moment I put him down, he's awake. I don't like CIO really, and it's not an option for me at all at 3 mos. Also, we've had instances where we are stuck in traffic and he screamed his head off for over an hour. He might fall asleep in the car if he's exhausted, but wakes the moment it stops. Every once in a while I can get him to take a good morning nap. When that happens, our day is a lot smoother. Ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mnemosyne Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Have you tried a Moby wrap or something like it? You'd still be carrying him... but at least your hands would be free. No other suggestions, sorry. :( My son was somewhat like this, and if I had other kids at that time or had to work, it would have been a very tough time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shannanlee Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 One word Babywear. You can nurse and teach at the same time. I was teaching one week after birth with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted July 9, 2013 Author Share Posted July 9, 2013 I've entertained the idea of a good carrier, but he is really heavy 16lbs, still gets gassy nursing really easily and needs "help", etc. I've tried a moby-type wrap with other kids and it didn't work out well for me. And this baby only likes to be held while I'm standing and swaying with his face touching mine. I'm more than open to suggestions on carriers for this kid, though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Teaching them to go to sleep by themselves is a lifesaver. I put a bar stool next to the crib and patted them or the crib mattress until they fell asleep. It usually took two weeks to teach. Once I trained them, then I could go into their room, turn on the noise machine, nurse and rock, put them in the crib and leave and they'd go right to sleep. At 4 months my babies took 3 naps a day-- usually something like this - 9:-10:30, 12:30-2:00, 4:-5:30. I wore my babies when they were awake in a pouch style sling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted July 9, 2013 Author Share Posted July 9, 2013 Teaching them to go to sleep by themselves is a lifesaver. I put a bar stool next to the crib and patted them or the crib mattress until they fell asleep. It usually took two weeks to teach. Once I trained them, then I could go into their room, turn on the noise machine, nurse and rock, put them in the crib and leave and they'd go right to sleep. At 4 months my babies took 3 naps a day-- usually something like this - 9:-10:30, 12:30-2:00, 4:-5:30. I wore my babies when they were awake in a pouch style sling. Except for the moment I put him down, he screams. And he keeps screaming. Patting, bouncing, whatever, does not phase him one bit. So in effect, he would be screaming from the moment I put him down until he fell asleep...which could be a long while. And I don't want to do CIO...which is what this sounds like FOR THIS CHILD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 You seem to have already narrowed the choices to carrying and nursing or CIO. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shannanlee Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 A woven wrap, a mai tei or ergo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 I'm in a similar boat. DD slept awesomely well at first, it was amazing, she went to sleep on her own and stayed asleep. Now, if I can get her to nap for 30 min I'm happy. She unfortunately reminds me of my son who needs little sleep. She is VERY distractible and has a hard time sleeping unless at home and nursing or I'm walking around (not just rocking) in the ERgo. She (usually) does ok at night though, thank goodness. At first I could lay her down when she started to get tired and she would go to sleep but now her eyes pop open and then she just starts fussing, the crying and lastly screaming. I thought I had her about out the other day. I put her in the swing and she fell asleep, but then she woke up and saw me and then it was all over, she just kept escalating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Just some random thoughts... White noise helped us a lot with my little one's sleep. A ring sling might be a good option if you haven't tried one yet. If you're always holding him, ANY carrier is going to help.. .but a ring sling is (in my experience) an easy carrier to nurse in, and I can usually ease the kiddo into a sleeping position from a nursing position. Elizabeth Pantley has a no cry nap book that I found helpful. We had a nap crisis about two months ago and things are back to normal, now :) I have done school with the baby in a bouncer on the kitchen table while he was alert and happy, so he just made baby sounds and grinned while we went through lessons. That might be easier than trying to school during naps, if naps are rough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 (raises hand solemnly) Been there. Done that. I wouldn't CIO at 3 months either and I did do that with my bigger babies (like 10 months and up) I used baby swings and bouncers. You may be able to find a wrap that works okay for a heavy baby. I found that I could do lots of school with my kids while sitting on the couch nursing. Lots of read alouds happened. Have you had him checked for reflux? The gassiness sounds like he may have issues. Have you eliminated all dairy and milk products from your diet to see if that helps? My fussy babies seriously reacted to any dairy that I ate. Pacifier? Swaddling? I learned to swaddle my son in a fluffy, fleecy blanket and the thickness helped him to stay unaware that I had laid him down after he was asleep. I also would put him down on my bed in between two pillows (I know...it wasn't super safe, but I was desperate!) The cuddliness helped him stay asleep longer. I'd check on him often when I did this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Mine was like that from birth, too. Hugs. He never "fussed." He was either happy (on top of me) or wailing (anywhere else). Not even my DH could hold him without him screaming. He could be dead asleep, I would hand him to my DH so I could, you know, pee or stuff some food in my mouth, and he would somehow just *know* it was time to start wailing. The only person who he would let hold him while he slept was my sister. I'm guessing we smell similar? I wish I could say something helped, but the only thing that did was time. He finally started napping without being on my lap, back (in the Ergo), or bre@st at about 14 months. He stopped napping all together at 19 months, but that's a different story, lol. We don't do CIO, but I honestly believe it wouldn't have worked. He only ever got more upset. In the car he would get so upset he would vomit within 15 minutes or so, even if I was sitting next to him. It was terrible. I don't know what I would have done with more kids that needed me. You have my sincere sympathy. I would look into an Ergo or another soft structured carrier like a Beco. They can be very comfortable up to high weights because the weight is transferred to your hips. Maybe a friend has one you could try? In a month or so, he should be old enough that you can wear him on your back. That was such a lifesaver for me. I've heard really good things about the FP Rock n Play Sleeper for fussy babies. It's kind of like a hammock on an angle. I think I'm going to get one for this babe that's due in October. I admit that I'm scared to death that the baby I'm pregnant with is going to be the same way. I guess we'll see... Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 agree with trying the little seats they have for that age, with him where he can see you. And with a carrier. I love a mei tai personally, but an ergo might also work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmvaughan4 Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Swaddling worked well for my boys. We also warmed a towel/blanket in the dryer before laying it in the bassinet. Then when we laid him down, it wasn't such a temperature change. I also loved the Fisher Price Rock and Play. It was wonderful for DS3. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Get the book Happiest Baby on the Block. Read the swaddling instructions and follow them. They have the best swaddling instructions I've ever used--tight and secure. The swaddle will help him feel safe and secure when you put him down. If he still cries in the swaddle you can pat him gently on the tummy to help him settle to sleep. The swaddle keeps the babies asleep if they wake up part way through the nap and if it doesn't you can pat the tummy and get them back to sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 I agree w/ fairfarmhand irt food. I do notice a difference if I have dairy, she is even worse, however I generally am dairy/soy free and always gluten free and she is still difficult. She is not as difficult as my son was though. I had always wondered how he would have been if I had realized his food issues earlier. I did buy a bouncer seat, swing and walker, which I didn't use at all w/ the last 2(but did with #1). She likes the walker IF the kids push her around super fast, otherwise she doesn't like it. She was good w/ the swing but it hasn't worked very well for her for a few months. Her temperament has improved since crawling but it still not as good as when she was really small. She is now working on walking though, heaven help me. Mine is VERY gassy as well, which I'm sure plays a part in it. With the last one it was easy to school with her, this one just fusses and cries now. On the good days I get her a 30 min nap and do the most intensive one-on-one things during that time. On the bad days I try really, really hard not to cry and stay patient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alef Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Several people have mentioned swings, if you have one and he doesn't like it of course the suggestion is not helpful but just in case you haven't tried it yet--I had one baby who would only ever sleep if he was in the swing and the swing was moving. Otherwise I'm no help, I never have been able to get a baby on a good nap schedule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Maya wrap. Once good head control, Asian style baby carrier. Some babies just need to be held. Can others take turns with the holding once baby is fed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Do you co-sleep? Sometimes babies want to nurse all day because they didn't get enough nursing all night long. Get him ready for bed around 9 (double diapers, jammies, whatever), and take him to bed with you. When he wants to nurse, just plug him in and go back to sleep. Hug him and roll over to nurse on the other side when he wakes up again and go back to sleep. I just saw an article that said that nursing babies develop their sleep patterns from co-sleeping with their mothers. Eliminate all dairy from your diet. It might not be the dairy, but it could be, and it's easy to figure it out: eliminate it. All of it. For at least a month. Maybe (and I'm sorry if you've already tried this and so I seem condescending or something) work to keep him awake and engaged so that you can help him develop a schedule. Or teach and nurse at the same time. :-) And try wearing the baby, and swaddling him, and all the other excellent suggestions. And you might have to let him CIO a couple of times, too (although I share your reluctance at letting a 3mo CIO). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Odd, but have you tried a Chriopractor for him? I know many people who have had great success with taking a fussy baby to a chiro for an adjustment. Just a thought worth looking into. DD6 was allergic to dairy and had issues until it was completely removed from her diet. Night and day changes happened in the matter of a week for her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamakelly Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 ITA with the pp. I was going to say Chiropractor too. My fussy babies were really helped by our awesome Chiropractor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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