FaithManor Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Dad's lung isn't leaking anymore, his chest tubes and catherter are out, and he's off the pain pump. He's got some serious pain now and they keep giving him IV dalauded (mangled that spelling for sure, but I'm too lazy to go look it up!), and they want to send him home which means NO MORE IV PAIN MEDS. I have major concerns. Oral meds take so long to take effect, however, he's not resting at all. That floor of the hospital is ridiculously busy and his roomate plus visitors is nutsy loud. It boggles my mind how loud it is. It wasn't like this before when he was on that floor after his heart surgery. So, I guess it's kind of a catch 22...I think he needs pain meds intraveneously for a few more days, but am willing to admit that without rest, he'll be very slow to heal. So, he's probably coming home this afternoon or evening. I'm waiting to hear from mom. Now, about my cousin's, boy's wedding: People with feral kids should just stay home. The young man and his bride were never able to dance....NOT ONCE...the whole night. The bride's older brother has two kids and the general parenting philosophy seems to be that anything they do is so adorable that any and all actions are acceptable if not endearing. Let's see - there was standing on the table and JUMPING UP AND DOWN BREAKING THE VASE/CENTERPIECE AND SENDING A WATERFALL OF BLUE TINTED AQUA ALL OVER THE GUESTS SEATED THERE. They thought it was fun to "attack" the bride and groom every time they went out on the dance floor, hanging all over them, standing on their feet, her dress, getting in between them, etc. and at one point, pulled the bride completely off her feet, sending her crashing to the floor, and ripping her wedding gown. The parents laughed and thought it was so cute that the children loved their aunt and new uncle so much! :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: They also fingerpainted a wall with cake, and drew on a couple of tablecloths with pens. This is the bride's brother's kids that did this and since her parents paid for the wedding, they'll probably look the other way. But, what should have happened earlier in the evening was for grandpa to go over there and tell his son to take the kids and leave NOW. I am convinced that always turning the other cheek on this stuff is a bad idea. The only way to make some people do something about their obnoxiously, ill mannered children, is to austracize them from good company until the discomfort level of always being thrown out of public events gets so great they choose to rein in the precious darlings' activities. This is all I can think of since it is legally and socially unacceptable to have a kennel/cage waiting in a corner for such wild things. I feel sorry, truly sorry, for children who are raised like this because their future is so bleak...no one will like them or befriend them, they will be virtually uneducatable and unemployable, and likely to end up in trouble all.the.time. STUPID. PARENTS. This is why more and more weddings, banquets, etc. are becoming adults only or no children under a certain age...people like this ruin it for everyone else who has children who have been taught manners. In other news, DH and I celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary tomorrow. He is my best friend in this world. I could never ask for a better friend, companion, partner, soul mate. I'd love to do something super, duper special for him, but with dad coming home from the hospital and not being in good shape, I can't go out of town and leave mom. Sis had to go back to Kentucky - she's a social worker and one of the children she's working with has gone missing - not surprising since the court has repeatedly sent him back to his bio "parents" despite sis's pleadings to sever their rights. My brother has to leave for California for job training tomorrow for a new position, and his boss cannot allow it to be postponed, so I need to be here in case dad worsens...mom doesn't look good - two major surgeries in two months, primary caregiver, type II diabetes that she's not taking care of properly, etc. I can't. go.away. So, this will be a little different. I'm cooking early for mom and dad and leaving my 16 year old with them to help with grandpa, have my MIL - the retired nurse - on speed dial for them, and the other two boys are apartment sitting for dd and her hubby. Dh and I are cooking together - I'm doing shrimp and tilapia; he's grilling steaks and portabella mushrooms - and we've rented a movie and will crash here at home. Not exactly how I thought we would spend our 25th, but life throws a lot of curve balls. Next year, after taking our middle ds to Iceland, we are going to celebrate belatedly by going to New Zealand for a week. That's the crazy scoop from my neck of the woods. Never.a.dull.moment. Sometimes, just occasionally, dull would be nice! However, I'm not complaining. I didn't think dad would make it through this surgery, and a month ago, we were told that dd likely would lose both her ovaries, possibly her uterus, and not only did she NOT have cancer, but both ovaries and her uterus and other internal organs were still healthy and she has come through that surgery with flying colors. We've gained a lovely new son who has proven his worth already as a husband to her. It may have been a very trying couple of months, but there has been so much good from it all. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 You are such an amazing woman! :grouphug: What's the verse, "She is clothed with strength and dignity." You're rocking that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 I'm sorry for everything you're going through. The only way to make some people do something about their obnoxiously, ill mannered children, is to austracize them from good company until the discomfort level of always being thrown out of public events gets so great they choose to rein in the precious darlings' activities. . . . . . . . I feel sorry, truly sorry, for children who are raised like this because their future is so bleak...no one will like them or befriend them, they will be virtually uneducatable and unemployable, and likely to end up in trouble all.the.time. STUPID. PARENTS. This is why more and more weddings, banquets, etc. are becoming adults only or no children under a certain age...people like this ruin it for everyone else who has children who have been taught manners. :( I have taught mine manners, and you can guarantee that if my ds ever even attempted those things, I'd leave with him. However, we just don't attend any events. He gets so worked up and really looks like I've never taught him anything. I really wish I could visit friends and family without everyone thinking that I've taught or "allowed" ds to act the way he does. It's tiring and lonely. (I know... Not all kids have special needs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 10, 2013 Author Share Posted June 10, 2013 I'm sorry for everything you're going through. :( I have taught mine manners, and you can guarantee that if my ds ever even attempted those things, I'd leave with him. However, we just don't attend any events. He gets so worked up and really looks like I've never taught him anything. I really wish I could visit friends and family without everyone thinking that I've taught or "allowed" ds to act the way he does. It's tiring and lonely. (I know... Not all kids have special needs) :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Life stinks sometimes. It's not easy...pretty much ever. Sigh....I just think that the straw that broke the camel's back for them was when she was knocked down and the gown torn...it was badly torn, noticeable, and not in a seam. It shows in all of the photos taken after the incident. I know it's not easy having special needs kids. I know that. But, even if the children at the wedding have issues, I just have to question the wisdom of allowing it to go to that level. They did maintain through the ceremony so the parents were able to attend the most important part. I can't believe it was appropriate to allow things to reach that level of crazy at the reception. But, again, you are a true parent. You face so much, but you soldier on, determined to help your kids. These parents aren't real parents and they aren't helping their kids. They sat and LAUGHED at all of this. That's the mind boggling part...the not getting out of the chair, taking a kid by the hand, and intervening...that's the part that made most of us have brain twitches. Everyone whose ever parented gets that kids are impulsive. It's the not doing anything at all and thinking it's cute, like the two ladies and gentleman soaked with blue water and so uncomfortable that they had to leave, that left people angry. If it happened in the normal course of the evening, someone reached for something and knocking the vase over, accidently elbowing it, etc. then it would be unfortunate, but not angering. But, laughing while their kids jumped on the table and doing nothing about it, I think that is what made most of the people who witnessed it view the event with disdain. Yeah, some kids are climbers and may get hypered up - especially around that much sugar and soda - however, not grabbing them and getting them off the table and openly laughing while guests are soaked, or the bride is picking herself up from the floor and looking over the 24 inch rip in the ruffle on her dress as it hangs so obviously in the front,....that's the big issue...the inappropriate response of the "parents". I doubt anyone was half as upset with the kids as the mom and dad who thought it was all "endearing". I didn't mean for my post to offend anyone...just venting a little because I saw the bride crying later because her hip hurt from the fall. It was a hard hit - both kids grabbed her from behind and yanked her down. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 I'm glad you're dad is improved enough to come home! Encourage him to stay ahead of the pain on the oral meds. :grouphug: We're going to a kid friendly wedding next weekend and now I'm on high alert. Our kids are coming, but good grief, I can't imagine tolerating that behavior at a wedding. Take your kid out if they can't behave in that setting! ETA - happy anniversary to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Congratulations on your anniversary and :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: for your dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 At one rehearsal dinner that we attended. two or three college students were hired to mind a group of children. There was some sort of carnival in town. The "minders" were given cash for the games and for Ben and Jerry's. The adults had a lovely meal and pleasant (uninterrupted) conversation. My son was the ringbearer in that wedding. The reception was less formal than the rehearsal dinner. Carolina barbecue in a backyard where the kids could romp and the adults could play croquet and toss a football. It worked. Parents should remove ill behaved children--period. I am sorry that these parents will lose out on participating in the social event but parenting sometimes requires this. The other day there were children running around the library with a mom using her "outdoor" voice to announce "This is library. We need to be quiet in here." Then she turned away and promptly ignored her kids. You should have seen a group of mothers on the sideline with jaws on the floor! Happy to hear that your dad is on the mend, Faith. And happy 25th!! Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 You are such an amazing woman! :grouphug: What's the verse, "She is clothed with strength and dignity." You're rocking that! You are such an amazing woman! :grouphug: What's the verse, "She is clothed with strength and dignity." You're rocking that! Proverbs 31:25 : Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. Hang in there, Faith. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 We got married on the same day! It is also dh's 50th so that will be our focus. Somehow bday cake etc always wins at our house. :lol: Not exactly what I had planned for my 25th either! Happy anniversary to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 10, 2013 Author Share Posted June 10, 2013 Glad to hear your dad is doing so well. Happy Anniversary! Why wasn't your aunt invited to this wedding? She was! She didn't feel well and did not stay long. So, no ripping into those parents. Of course, the spectacle raised when she lost it at dd's wedding, was beyond uncomfortable as well and dd's new hubby's family is ANGRY about that. Therefore, while I get where my aunt was coming from, her inability to handle it diplomatically didn't really help anything either. Sigh...again, mother's, encourage your children to take a check and go to a beach in Jamaica or Bermuda or Puerto Rico or something. It is so much easier!!!! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilaclady Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Happy anniversary Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Now, about my cousin's, boy's wedding: People with feral kids should just stay home. The young man and his bride were never able to dance....NOT ONCE...the whole night. The bride's older brother has two kids and the general parenting philosophy seems to be that anything they do is so adorable that any and all actions are acceptable if not endearing. Let's see - there was standing on the table and JUMPING UP AND DOWN BREAKING THE VASE/CENTERPIECE AND SENDING A WATERFALL OF BLUE TINTED AQUA ALL OVER THE GUESTS SEATED THERE. They thought it was fun to "attack" the bride and groom every time they went out on the dance floor, hanging all over them, standing on their feet, her dress, getting in between them, etc. and at one point, pulled the bride completely off her feet, sending her crashing to the floor, and ripping her wedding gown. The parents laughed and thought it was so cute that the children loved their aunt and new uncle so much! :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: They also fingerpainted a wall with cake, and drew on a couple of tablecloths with pens. This is the bride's brother's kids that did this and since her parents paid for the wedding, they'll probably look the other way. But, what should have happened earlier in the evening was for grandpa to go over there and tell his son to take the kids and leave NOW. I am convinced that always turning the other cheek on this stuff is a bad idea. The only way to make some people do something about their obnoxiously, ill mannered children, is to austracize them from good company until the discomfort level of always being thrown out of public events gets so great they choose to rein in the precious darlings' activities. This is all I can think of since it is legally and socially unacceptable to have a kennel/cage waiting in a corner for such wild things. I feel sorry, truly sorry, for children who are raised like this because their future is so bleak...no one will like them or befriend them, they will be virtually uneducatable and unemployable, and likely to end up in trouble all.the.time. STUPID. PARENTS. This is why more and more weddings, banquets, etc. are becoming adults only or no children under a certain age...people like this ruin it for everyone else who has children who have been taught manners. Faith Where is the Aunt with Dementia when you need her. I am thinking that everyone should invite her to every wedding and she will sort out all the lax parents. It would be a blessing for everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 happy anniversary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Happy Anniversary! Sorry you have so much on your plate currently. Hope you enjoy some down time tomorrow night. It's my anniversary too. I have no idea what Dh and I are doing. No money for a weekend away this year and we've been so busy we had no time to even talk about it. (And I have not spent much time here lately either.) I'm waiting for him to come out of his painting studio so we can make some plans. What an awful wedding memory. We've got one (awful wedding memory) that involves a grown man--and it's nicely preserved on video too. Does your cousin get to relive the adorable behavior you witnessed by seeing it on DVD? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I have been thinking about this thread all morning. WHY didn't someone step in and do something about those awful boys. If I was at a wedding and the bride was trying to dance and two delinquents ran up to her, grabbed hold of her dress and pulled her over, hurting the bride and ripping her dress I would fully expect every close adult to grab those little darlings and drag them kicking and screaming right out of there. What is wrong with not only the parents but the whole of society that people allow this type of thing to happen unchecked? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 11, 2013 Author Share Posted June 11, 2013 I have been thinking about this thread all morning. WHY didn't someone step in and do something about those awful boys. If I was at a wedding and the bride was trying to dance and two delinquents ran up to her, grabbed hold of her dress and pulled her over, hurting the bride and ripping her dress I would fully expect every close adult to grab those little darlings and drag them kicking and screaming right out of there. What is wrong with not only the parents but the whole of society that people allow this type of thing to happen unchecked? In America, you simply can't touch another person's child. Many parents like this will press charges or even physically assault you for it. I'm not kidding, we have a sue happy, "you better not try to make my kid do anything" culture here. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Happy Anniversary! I'm sure it will be special even if it isn't what you planned. And the wedding story is exactly why children were not invited to my wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RemsMom Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I'm sorry for everything you're going through. :( I have taught mine manners, and you can guarantee that if my ds ever even attempted those things, I'd leave with him. However, we just don't attend any events. He gets so worked up and really looks like I've never taught him anything. I really wish I could visit friends and family without everyone thinking that I've taught or "allowed" ds to act the way he does. It's tiring and lonely. (I know... Not all kids have special needs) A couple of years I had to help a friend walk/drag her child from an event. My poor friend was so embarrassed and kept apologizing over and over for her child's behavior. Trust me, I know the difference between a special needs child and a "special little snowflake". I have zero respect for the parents of the "special little snowflake" and all the respect in the world for the parent of the special needs child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 In America, you simply can't touch another person's child. Many parents like this will press charges or even physically assault you for it. I'm not kidding, we have a sue happy, "you better not try to make my kid do anything" culture here. Faith So it is OK for children to mob and pull over a bride, destroying her special day, but all the relatives of the children cannot step up to the plate and do anything? unbelievable! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I just told my DH about your wedding experiences with feral children. He thinks you should start a hire an Aunt with Dementia company. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 11, 2013 Author Share Posted June 11, 2013 I just told my DH about your wedding experiences with feral children. He thinks you should start a hire an Aunt with Dementia company. Well, I can tell you the fall out from this is not fun. So, I can't recommend it. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Happy Anniversary (same to the two others who said they are also celebrating today!)!!! I hope your dad continues to progress well. Otherwise... My guy gets married in two weeks. If there are any children behaving like that, I'll be saying something. I think it's my "teacher genes." I've often been "the one" to speak up when kids are way out of line (none of these have been in special needs cases - those are different). Fortunately, I haven't had too many times where I've had to speak up, but there's definitely been a couple that came to mind - sometimes to the kids, and sometime to the parents as the situation merited. I don't want uncorrected/uncorrectable younguns in my high school... 'tis best to start the socialization skills at a younger age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Well, I can tell you the fall out from this is not fun. So, I can't recommend it. Faith :laugh: Jokes aside, I really feel for you having all that is going on in your life at the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 In America, you simply can't touch another person's child. Many parents like this will press charges or even physically assault you for it. I'm not kidding, we have a sue happy, "you better not try to make my kid do anything" culture here. Faith Faith, it must be "neck of the woods" thing. In the area I live in, "the village" would have stepped in. I'm not sure what it would to corral children that out of control, but if they were so unmanageable that it would have taken physical, hands-on intervention, I'm betting the parents would have been approached. I've seen "the village" swing into action, but not before some damage had been done--children knocking over several of the fake columns wrapped with tulle. : ( <P> The sad thing is that I think children *should* be included at weddings, and they should get to be a part of the joy. What a horrible disservice to them not to raise them in a way that would allow them to participate without making a nuisance of themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I have been thinking about this thread all morning. WHY didn't someone step in and do something about those awful boys. If I was at a wedding and the bride was trying to dance and two delinquents ran up to her, grabbed hold of her dress and pulled her over, hurting the bride and ripping her dress I would fully expect every close adult to grab those little darlings and drag them kicking and screaming right out of there. What is wrong with not only the parents but the whole of society that people allow this type of thing to happen unchecked? Melissa, The U.S. is an enormous country (50 states, over 3 million square miles, 315 million people, etc.) There are people and places that would not allow this type of thing to happen. There are people who still control their children and people who would help a bride getting tackled by out-of-control kids. Unfortuneately, It just sounds like none of them were at this wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Melissa, The U.S. is an enormous country (50 states, over 3 million square miles, 315 million people, etc.) There are people and places that would not allow this type of thing to happen. There are people who still control their children and people who would help a bride getting tackled by out-of-control kids. Unfortuneately, It just sounds like none of them were at this wedding. thanks for the reminder. I tend to 'see' America from threads on this board. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 11, 2013 Author Share Posted June 11, 2013 thanks for the reminder. I tend to 'see' America from threads on this board. :001_smile: Oh that this had been a heavily "hive" attended event. Things might have been different. Seriously, when I was a kid, the "village" would have been livid and once the child was retrieved and restrained, the parents would have received an earful and been asked to leave. Unfortunately, the village in this area has been conditioned by a number of very "in your face" parents who think every single thing their little angel does is "cute". We even had this sitution Sunday in our 9-11 year old class. I removed a child who slugged hard, I mean out and out bullied another child, and the parents went APE all over the children's ministries director because dh and I had returned him to his parents in their class. But, at least that small village, the church family, isn't buying it and said child has to sit with his parents for two months before getting another chance to come to our class and behave. I think that's appropriate, and another incident like that will be an expulsion that may not be lifted for a very, very long period of time. However, I can honestly say that in many public situations, the village has learned not to mess with other people's kids. In terms of dd's wedding, I was so busy that I didn't actually get to witness much of the children's antics. So, it's hard for me to say if I would have intervened or not. My aunt with dementia though was actually verbally vicious...just downright vicious. Regardless of what the kids did, which was well short of a felony, some of what she said should not have been uttered. At the point at which you suggest to other parents that they should have done America a favor and smothered their infants at birth,....you get the picture, that particular element of the village has gone too far. I don't even know if we can repair this situation with dd's inlaws. It was her hubby's maternal aunt and uncle whose children were the problem and who received my aunt's mentally ill tirade. Yes, they should have done something about their hooligans. However, this kind of out of control, vehement, spew does not help anything and currently, the new inlaws are not speaking to us. These are people we may someday share grandkids with, and they aren't on speaking terms due to this. So, we can all say this or that should have been said or been done and definitely, in my cousin's case, yikes...that was far, far worse than the behavior of the kids at dd's wedding. However, having BTDT, all I can say is that you should all send your kids to a distant land to get married away from the fuss....just wave from the beach darlings! Save yourselves the headache. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Happy Anniversary (same to the two others who said they are also celebrating today!)!!! I hope your dad continues to progress well. Otherwise... My guy gets married in two weeks. If there are any children behaving like that, I'll be saying something. I think it's my "teacher genes." I've often been "the one" to speak up when kids are way out of line (none of these have been in special needs cases - those are different). Fortunately, I haven't had too many times where I've had to speak up, but there's definitely been a couple that came to mind - sometimes to the kids, and sometime to the parents as the situation merited. I don't want uncorrected/uncorrectable younguns in my high school... 'tis best to start the socialization skills at a younger age. I didn't realize your son was getting married so soon. I hope the wedding is wonderful and the couple is happy. Congratulations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Praying things for your dad get better. As for the kids...I totally get if they are special needs kids. My stepbrother is SN, so really, I get it. But if they aren't SN, then really.....WHO raises kids to be like that. I never expected my kids to sit there like zombies and not move a muscle. But sheesh....even by three or four they were able to be in social situations without looking like I had just broke them out of a zoo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I had a friend who proudly unparented. Seriously. She *said* she was an unparenter. She seemed to think it went right along with radical unschooling (nah... I know plenty of radical unschoolers who parent their kids just fine). Everything her kids did was adorable and made her laugh at how cute they were. Her kids, frankly, were brats. I could totally see them doing stuff like that and she just sit and laugh and think it was darling. No one would spend time with them for very long. People just couldn't take it. I felt sorry for her (and very, very sorry for her kids), but she caused it. Be a parent. Seriously. (And, if anyone else tried to correct one of her little darlings, we were terrible and just had no idea how kids "should" be and so on... so instead we all just kind of avoided them). There is a big difference between a special needs child and feral children. The biggest difference IME tends to be the parents. Parents of feral kids sit back and watch and think it's so cute and laugh and get mad if someone tries to correct their kid. Parents of special needs kids either intervene themselves, thank others who intervene profusely, or look so exhausted and upset that you know this is distressing them and they either don't know what to do or are just too spent to do anything. They never, ever sit and laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Faith, I hope your dad's health continues to improve. I'm sorry that your dd's beautiful wedding memory has been marred by the actions of those children and the subsequent remarks by your ill aunt. I don't understand the ILs not speaking to you over this. Your aunt is ill and is not in control of her faculties! I guess the old adage is true.... the truth hurts!! :grouphug: :grouphug: FWIW, I already told dd that I want her to either elope, get married on a beach far, far away, or just go to the courthouse. Any money we would have spent on a wedding would be gifted to them to use for furniture, towards a downpayment on a house, or whatever. I keep telling her horror stories and I think she is listening. What she'll do when the time comes, however, I just don't know. Also I can only "work" on ds so much, as when he marries, it will be his bride who pushes for what she wants. I told him to make it clear when things get serious that he doesn't want a big wedding and to lay out the reasons why. The more horror stories I read, the more I am not looking forward to my kids' weddings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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