Is it me or . . . .

[Barbb]

Bye

[BlessedMom]

Sadly yes, I have noticed this trend.

[JNW]

It's not just you. We have a neighbor girl that's about 11, and every time her mom and I are talking, she interupts and interjects the whole time. I can hardly get a word in edgewise. My mom would have given me a look that said it all on the first offense.

[bettyandbob]

I think people are just ruder today. Children learn from the adults. The adults don't behave politely, so why would a child do something different.

[Luanne]

I agree with Betty. I think people in general are just more rude than they used to be.

[Eagle]

I find adults more rude these days too. At our local pool there is a group of very rude elderly people who go out of their way to say mean things to the children in our homeschool group. They don't want to get their hair wet and think children should not be allowed in the pool while they are in it. The children aren't excessively splashing, either -- they are in lessons.

[Guest]

I think people are just ruder today. Children learn from the adults. The adults don't behave politely, so why would a child do something different.

 

 

Exactly. Nine times out of ten, when I see a kid that has no manners, neither do their parents. I tend to be the unpopular parent because I have no issue calling someone else's child on their attitude. Our church believes that it takes a village to raise a child...unfortunately some a LOT more than others.

[Barbb]

. . .

[lil' maids in a row]

In my experience, even kids who have really nice, polite parents are rude. We have a little boy near us who has become insufferable. Mom and Dad are lovely, but seem oblivious to his behavior.

 

Ex.

-yelling at me to get out of the way when I went to help my then toddler and accidently blocked his t.v. show (mom and dad were both there and noticed, but offered ZERO correction) .

-endless bragging and one-ups-manship

-telling my husband to mind his own business when dh asked the boy a question about what he was playing in OUR backyard

 

This kid is only SIX!

 

He is not alone, honestly most 5-10 year old kids I know are quite rude. It does make the thoughtful ones shine though.

 

 

-

Edited typo

[Catwoman]

A I the only one who is wondering why Barb is taking a kid to the pool who obviously doesn't like her own ds? :confused:

 

I'm sorry, but that makes no sense at all to me.

 

Next time, Barb, let the little brat's own mother take him to the pool and you can enjoy the day with your ds. Your son sounds sweet and he deserves to find a nice friend.

[Barbb]

. . .

[Barbb]

..

[Catwoman]

AH - I will tell you why! This kid ask US if my son can swim. . . so we do, because we were planning to go anyway. After I insist his mom tells ME is ok - because this kid says it is ok his Mom is sleeping and he can come with us and leave a note for his mom - WHAT - me take him swimming and he leaves a note for his sleeping parents. NO, NO, NO - I say - well we were going to swim, when we do it will be in a couple hours and I will come check that it is ok with your mom because I would need her to tell me it is alright!). REALLY - it was the afternoon and his mom JUST woke up, dad I think still sleeping. The kid is bored, and USED us as a way to go swim.

 

Barb

 

 

 

But why didn't you just say no?

 

I'm sorry if I'm missing something here, but your reasoning simply doesn't make sense to me.

 

Why would you allow yourself to be "used" by a 10 year old?

[lil' maids in a row]

 

AH - well the parents might be nice but - if they don't say anything to the kid - THEY AREN'T PARENTING!

 

Barb

 

They are super committed and involved parents, but they are clueless about manners. I notice this a lot amongst parents my age. Many seem to think that modeling good behavior is sufficient. They don't seem to realize that teaching good behavior and correcting bad behavior is also necessary.

[annandatje]

Every generation since the dawn of time probably has claimed that the younger generation is more insolent than the elder one. Didn't Socrates or Aristotle make this same claim? No, I do not believe that the the whippersnappers of today are less respectful than those of yesteryear. Now if I can just remember my own words the next time I encounter a smart alec kid ..... :laugh:

[momacacia]

In fact, the kid and his sister are the ones to usually knock on our door to see if ds can play. . . . I let him knock on thiers occasionally - but most of the time this other kid is the one to want to play. . . he is one of those kids that love to play when it suits them and when they feel they are done playing - its ok to be rude. One thing I notice with this particular child is that is is also very rude to his mom.

Honestly, in this case I'd welcome the opportunity when the other kid rudely tells them to leave to teach my kids to say, " Hey, look, YOU invited me over here, not the other way around." And the next time they come knocking in your door, DS is unavailable regardless. Natural consequences, kiddo. And, I'd likely terminate a 'friendship' with a kid who is rude to his Mom---that or call it out each time I see it. I've enough to do tham to have to fight off another kid's really bad example. It's one thing to miss 'pleases and thankyous' and forget thank you notes, but rude to Mom is a new level.

[Jean in Newcastle]

In previous generations an adult who invited a child to go along would tell them "no" if they were being rude or would otherwise correct their behavior. I don't understand why you have no boundaries and are letting another child tell you to take him and your child swimming. I also don't understand why you don't tell him, "I need you to acknowledge me when I am speaking to you." or "You may not treat my son like that when you are out with our family." If you are taking over the position of babysitter for that child, you should be able to do those things - very nicely and politely, of course, but firmly.

[Barbb]

.

[momtokea]

Yes, I have noticed increasing rudeness, but not just with kids. It seems to me, at least where I live, that young people (under 30) are socially inept. They are entitled, have no class, and cannot speak properly.

[Guest]

Parents aren't teaching their kids manners, anymore.

[arghmatey]

I don't think so, and neither did Aristophanes' version of Socrates

 

“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.â€

― Socrates

 

Old people have always thought young people are jerks.

[Joshin]

I just spent the last four days with a couple thousand kids ages 7 to 18. Most of these kids are public schooled. Not having a lot of experience with a group of kids this large, I was actually shocked at how polite they were. Yes ma'am, no ma'am, thank you, please, and let me help were the rule rather than the exception. This was for a competition, and all I saw was good sportsmanship. Kids we had never met were wishing my team good luck. When kids found out it was our first time there, they were rushing to help my kids fit in and find their way around.

 

Personally, I think adults are around kids more often these days than they used to be. When I was a kid it was rare for an adult chaperone to be nearby. We could be rude to each other and rarely would an adult hear or notice. Also, rude kids and adults stand out more because they are the exception and not the rule. We remember the rude kid/adult while forgetting the 20 other perfectly polite people we interacted with before them.

[Jean in Newcastle]

OK - Bad topic - I'll just back out of the conversation if I may. Not too sure why people are telling me I make no sense. I didn't ask your opinion on why I took the kid but if any one saw a trend in increasing rudeness .

 

Just wondering if others noticed this too. . .

 

And no - I don't let a child use me - but we were going anyway and the kids play together at times. And yes, I do correct him when he is rude. And so far none of it is enough to cut off the relationships over. If you read the original posts I said I wasn't looking for suggestions, therefor I didn't relate every word of the conversations between me and the kids. Just thought we could share experiences on this.

 

 

Well, I see it rude to talk about your child's friend and your neighbor as a prime example of rudeness in today's youth if you aren't even interested in working with the child and doing something about the relationship. Yes, I've met rude kids and I've seen rude adults. And people on this board have helped give me perspective of what is normal kid stuff and what isn't. And they've also given me good advice on setting boundaries and on improving the situation. I don't see a ten year old (or how ever old your child's friend is) as a finished product.

[AlmiraGulch]

I'm pretty fortunate to be around kids who are pretty good, all things considered. This is in my neighborhood and at the school, where I've chaperoned field trips.

 

I think maybe the problem is that when we were kids it would have been nothing for other parents (not your own) to immediately put you back in your place if you stepped out of line, so you were more likely to not do so in front of any adult. I remember plenty of behavior similar to what you describe from my childhood, but never in front of anyone's parents!

 

Also, parents don't seem to know each other as well as they did when we were younger, so some may hesitate to correct a child's behavior because they don't have that level of comfort. I don't know. Just a theory.

 

Regardless, that little kid is on my nerves, and I wasn't even there!

[Butter]

People seem about the same as they always have been.

 

And now, traveling across the country during our move (and so out of the DC area - an area many people consider full of rude people) I am absolutely shocked at how polite everyone is. But, to be honest, I found the most polite people in the Subway in New York City. I've never seen so many people so willing to help a family their first time in NYC figure out how to get around.

 

So, no, I'm not seeing a whole lot of rudeness (though I am sure I could if I watched for it).

[Catwoman]

OK - Bad topic - I'll just back out of the conversation if I may. Not too sure why people are telling me I make no sense. I didn't ask your opinion on why I took the kid but if any one saw a trend in increasing rudeness .

 

Just wondering if others noticed this too. . .

 

And no - I don't let a child use me - but we were going anyway and the kids play together at times. And yes, I do correct him when he is rude. And so far none of it is enough to cut off the relationships over. If you read the original posts I said I wasn't looking for suggestions, therefor I didn't relate every word of the conversations between me and the kids. Just thought we could share experiences on this.

 

Here is what doesn't make sense:

 

You said yourself that the child is rude to you, your son, and his own mother. He treats your son like dirt, because he only plays with your son when it's convenient for him and he gets rude when he's tired of playing with your son...... yet for some reason, "so far none of it is enough to cut the relationships over."

 

Ummm.... this kid is rude and manipulative and is only nice to your son when it suits him and is mean at other times... and you seem to think this is some sort of healthy friendship? :confused:

 

It sure doesn't sound like it to me.

[Mergath]

They sure seem to be more rude. Maybe it's the area we live in, but I'm shocked at the things I hear and see kids doing. Elementary school students shoving each other on the sidewalk in front of our house and screaming things like, 'You f***ing idiot!" on a regular basis. Kids telling adults to shut up. I get that from kids that aren't mine all the time. If I had ever told an adult to shut up when I was a little kid, my parents would have beaten me. Honestly.

 

I do think it's getting worse, and not just a matter of perspective. When I was a kid, we were all extremely rude to each other when no one was looking, but very polite to the adults. Now, kids are rude to everyone.

[Lisbeth]

When you are taught by peers instead of adults, you aren't taught to respect authority or learn old fashioned/mature manners. My first thought is peer identification via daycare, but it is my own theory.

[Barbb]

...

[Catwoman]

I gave examples of 2 different kids. I never said I didn't say anything to the kid - I do correct him when needed. I gave examples of rudeness - not bullying. I never said he ONLY plays when convenient to him - just that THIS time was. And when on earth did I say I see a 10 year old as a finished product? COuld be that's why I like that the neighbors come here frequently to play - because my family can show and teach them how to "do unto others. . . "

 

Most people here got that this was a discussion on our own individual experiences and opinion's on weather kids have gotten more rude. I asked because I see both answers (yes and no) as true. But 2 responders choose to respond in a way that makes no sense to me.

 

Thought I'd try this board out - quess its not the right place for me.

 

Bye

Barb

 

I think she means us, Jean. :)

 

Apparently she failed to realize that everyone wasn't going to immediately and wholeheartedly agree with her every word.

 

Oh well. I stand by what I posted. If she chooses to be horribly offended, so be it.

 

Incidentally, I have re-read all of Barbb's posts and at no point did she indicate that she was giving examples of 2 different kids, as she just claimed that she was.

 

Let's just see...

 

. . . are kids today more rude? Really, to each other and to parents. Took a neighbor with my ds age 10 to the neighborhood pool. Once there the neighbor ignored ds; even though ds asked and suggested several things. When I asked him to not dive in (clearly labeled no diving) he stopped but never said anything to me (I mean a "yes" would do) . Once back - no thank you. In fact, when we were walking home, ds tried to walk next to him and this kid keeps walking in front of ds (blocking ds). Finally the kid says something like, "why are you walking next to me". Once, (other neighbors) ds was playing at a different house - he was only there a short time, this kid says - "can you go home now your annoying me". Really he (this kid) was only upset because when the kid asked the dad if they could play catch (with his dad), the dad said he had company and should play with his friend now instead (meaning ds). So, the kids tells ds he's annoying to get rid of ds.

 

Honestly, we are used to it. I need no suggestions, just wondering if anyone else noticed that kids today have no manners or any proper socialization skills (and they say homeschoolers need to go to school to get socializing skills).

 

I am 51, my oldest is 20 1/2 and I definitely notice a trend towards rude,socially inept kids. I really tell my ds that kids don't learn manners in school (well honestly at home either but I can't tell him THAT!) and they learn the exact opposite. So we need to model how TO act. I find myself telling neighbor kids things like : "we don't say that here; "say that in a nicer way": "take turns" (really thay are 8- 10 yr olds that come to play - they should know that) and actually the age old: "be nice!". I don't know if its culture, schools or differing parenting styles of different generations (parents around me or at least 15 years younger then I).

 

Anyone else notice a trend!

 

Barb

I know that happens - but in this instance no one arranges when they play. In fact, the kid and his sister are the ones to usually knock on our door to see if ds can play. . . . I let him knock on thiers occasionally - but most of the time this other kid is the one to want to play. . . he is one of those kids that love to play when it suits them and when they feel they are done playing - its ok to be rude. One thing I notice with this particular child is that is is also very rude to his mom.

 

Barb

AH - I will tell you why! This kid ask US if my son can swim. . . so we do, because we were planning to go anyway. After I insist his mom tells ME is ok - because this kid says it is ok his Mom is sleeping and he can come with us and leave a note for his mom - WHAT - me take him swimming and he leaves a note for his sleeping parents. NO, NO, NO - I say - well we were going to swim, when we do it will be in a couple hours and I will come check that it is ok with your mom because I would need her to tell me it is alright!). REALLY - it was the afternoon and his mom JUST woke up, dad I think still sleeping. The kid is bored, and USED us as a way to go swim.

 

Barb

OK - Bad topic - I'll just back out of the conversation if I may. Not too sure why people are telling me I make no sense. I didn't ask your opinion on why I took the kid but if any one saw a trend in increasing rudeness .

 

Just wondering if others noticed this too. . .

 

And no - I don't let a child use me - but we were going anyway and the kids play together at times. And yes, I do correct him when he is rude. And so far none of it is enough to cut off the relationships over. If you read the original posts I said I wasn't looking for suggestions, therefor I didn't relate every word of the conversations between me and the kids. Just thought we could share experiences on this.

I gave examples of 2 different kids. I never said I didn't say anything to the kid - I do correct him when needed. I gave examples of rudeness - not bullying. I never said he ONLY plays when convenient to him - just that THIS time was. And when on earth did I say I see a 10 year old as a finished product? COuld be that's why I like that the neighbors come here frequently to play - because my family can show and teach them how to "do unto others. . . "

 

Most people here got that this was a discussion on our own individual experiences and opinion's on weather kids have gotten more rude. I asked because I see both answers (yes and no) as true. But 2 responders choose to respond in a way that makes no sense to me.

 

Thought I'd try this board out - quess its not the right place for me.

 

Bye

Barb

 

 

Hmmmmm.... still sounds like it was all about the one kid to me... :rolleyes:

[Jean in Newcastle]

She should have marked it a JAWM (just agree with me) thread because that is what it really was. I often do agree with people but I do find it more helpful to try and look for solutions if possible.

[Lily_Grace]

I will honestly say I have not noticed that trend. Nearly every child I have come across has been polite, helpful, and just genuinely happy to be included in whatever was going on. Glee, not rudeness, though often times the boundaries were overstepped accidentally. ;) Really, though, good kids. Case in point - yesterday my son returned from a camping trip. Every boy helped unload the van, took out their trash, got things organized and settled....all while teasing each other and being general doofusi. I know some of the boys don't like each other. I have heard them grumble when one or two of them aren't around, or there's a slight cold shoulder (like one boy looking for a meet up later and getting the 'we're too busy' brush off). I know they don't always have fun together. But they try to make sure they're all okay and included when needed. The way they treat adults is very much the same. "How are you doing, Mrs. Kid's Mom? Did you have a good weekend while we were away?" "I need to call my mom first to make sure it's alright you give me a ride home. Excuse me, please" (kid lived a block away and his mom had given him instructions to walk - before the storm blew in)

 

Dh and I were talking yesterday morning about the possibility of sending The Kid to high school. He is worried that The Kid has never had to deal with real conflict resolution, things always being decided by a) hierarchy or B) everyone being a good, thinking kid. This is the main sticking point. LOL And it makes me wonder if I should make sure my kid has a chance to deal with real frootloops before joining a workplace.

[Danielle1746]

 

I think she means us, Jean. :)

 

Apparently she failed to realize that everyone wasn't going to immediately and wholeheartedly agree with her every word.

 

Oh well. I stand by what I posted. If she chooses to be horribly offended, so be it.

 

Incidentally, I have re-read all of Barbb's posts and at no point did she indicate that she was giving examples of 2 different kids, as she just claimed that she was.

 

Let's just see...

 

Hmmmmm.... still sounds like it was all about the one kid to me... :rolleyes:

 

The part where she mentioned she was talking about two different kids was in the first paragraph of the first post. "Once, (other neighbors) ds was playing at a different house..." It definitely wasn't very clear though.

 

[MIch elle]

Parents aren't teaching their kids manners, anymore.

 

 

 

Yes, and parents are treating their dc as friends or equals along with the media that dc watch which models rude behavior in more ways than one!

 

It's even adults that think nothing of foul language in public places.

 

As a substitute teacher, I see rude behavior as well. The teachers all agree the trend is that children are increasingly brash and not afraid of authority. They can do what they want. It wears the teachers down and by the end of the school year the teachers are giving up and then it makes it harder as the dc get older and move to the next grade, and they become even MORE brash and do what they like. It's mostly in the form of talking and general disorder in the class, cafeteria, and recess. So it becomes increasingly hard to teach and becomes more crowd control.

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

Rudeness all around. We live in a 'me' society now. (this is a general statement and there are exceptions). unless this changes, the rudeness will get worse.

[Garga]

I think it depends on where you live. When I moved from a very busy suburb of a big city to a teeny weenie town, I noticed a HUGE difference in how polite people were. Everyone--children, teenagers, adults.

 

The kids around here are very polite. They're more polite than I am! I have to be on my game so I'm not the rude one! (Ok, that last line was a little over the top, but not by much. 😛 )