KungFuPanda Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Just thinking on what I meant when I talked about those who do manual labor having a different perspective. I didn't mean, those who do manual labor have to be more practical so they don't dress up. I meant those who do manual labor often (not always) feel good about their bodies while working hard, so what they wear to work hard, while not fashionable, feels like it looks good on them. That can carryover some to regular clothing. And since that "manual labor" good body feeling may be more powerful than "cute fitting top" good body feeling, clothing becomes less important to feeling confident and even "sexy" Now it isn't this way across the board. I am sure some people just feel gross doing manual labor. But I do know a lot of people who feel empowered by it, like others feel empowered by cute clothes. I like the way you put that. Those who put more time into fitness than fashion can feel and look good without resorting to fashion camouflage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 This thread has really taken a turn. The OP would like to have a little fashion input. She's more active than most of us and we're debating if she should care about clothing or not. Fashion girls help her out. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a27mom Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I read this last night. http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2013/03/fight-the-frump-get-dressed/#comments I would love to follow some of her suggestions as quite often I am frumpy. I am a size 16/18 or so which makes finding nice fitting clothes harder. One of my issues as well as that I change my clothes MANY times a day--PJ, exercise clothes, barn chore clothes, horseback riding clothes, go to town clothes, my comfy clothes, back in barn clothes, etc. Some days I honestly change my clothes 7-9 times. Ok as requested to help with fashion. If you change your clothes that many times I am surprised you are frumpy ;) a frumpy person would just wear the same clothes for most of that. Lol But anyway. I am a bit skeptical about said bloggers version of frumpy. But I do think you should feel great in what you are wearing yourself. So if you feel frumpy than change is great. First step might be to think about what you wear that you feel the best in. Put it on and decide what you like best about it. Then see if those elements can be translated to your clothes for other activities. (For example color, shape etc...) Also more is not necessarily better. Having 2 or 3 outfits that all are great is a lot better than having so many things to choose from it is hit or miss. Go through your clothes and get rid of everything that makes you feel frumpy, or label it barn mucking only lol (although even barn mucking can be not frumpy) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnIslandGirl Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I think "frump" has a lot to do with the fit of cloths and if they are pressed correctly. Just my personal opinion, but when I think of frumpy cloths, I think baggy and potentially wrinkled. You can certainly look great in comfortable cloths as long as they fit right. A good relationship with your tailor can do wonders for your wardrobe! In the warmer months, it's so easy to dress in a cute sundress and minimal accessories. If you have a low maintenance lifestyle a mix and match wardrobe is always an option. Maybe take a day with a few girlfriends to have a makeover day. Sometimes a great girlfriend will give you the honest low-down that a spouse may not. A new hairstyle can transform not only your look, but your attitude as well. When I feel good, I look good. And I think most other people do too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 One of my issues as well as that I change my clothes MANY times a day--PJ, exercise clothes, barn chore clothes, horseback riding clothes, go to town clothes, my comfy clothes, back in barn clothes, etc. Some days I honestly change my clothes 7-9 times. It sounds like you need to focus on finding 1-2 outfits for the occasions that you feel frumpy. So, if you feel frumpy in PJ's, start looking for some that are comfy *and* cute. If your Barn chore clothes are practical and fit right, then don't fight that battle right now. Make sure your horseback clothes are functional and feel nice. Check your town clothes - that may be an area that is easier to change since there aren't a lot of outdoor requirements your clothes will need to fit. If you feel frumpy in your comfy clothes, start looking for ones that look like you put them on on purpose (that match and fit). Maybe don't try to fight the whole war at once. Just focus on one battle - the time you feel the yuckiest - and find something to change that makes you feel better. HTH :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 In the warmer months, it's so easy to dress in a cute sundress and minimal accessories. There is no such thing as a sundress that would look cute on me. Trust me on this! I have heavy/big legs all the time, and they just don't translate to "cute" in a dress. I've struggled with shorts the last two summers because of the lengths that were in style. I'm going to have issues again this summer - I really need to get back to the gym daily. A new hairstyle can transform not only your look, but your attitude as well. When I feel good, I look good. And I think most other people do too! I will agree with this - my hair is driving me insane. I'd go get it cut today if I had the $$. As for accessories - i'm just not overly into them, I never have been. I wouldn't even know what to put with something. I own no makeup and that isn't going to change for the most part... Honestly, it was easier to not be a frump when I wasn't this poor!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Here's my advice but I tend to be on the frump side of life about 60% of times and only sometimes pull off fancy. When I do there are two options: I'd find a pair of jeans that you like and is flattering and buy a few pairs of those and then a pair of kakhis or black trousers for a slightly more dressed up feel. For tops I like having sleeveless tops (love Ann Taylor for this) to wear under cardigan sweaters (Land End). I add a pair of ballet style leather flats or riding boots. For jewelry I wear earings and that's about it because I'm lame at coordinating. My other dress up option is a cotton dress with tights and maybe a camisole underneath. I love Lands End cotton knit dresses because they are so comfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 One thing that makes a difference is finding knit tops (aka t-shirts) that fit a woman's body, as opposed to wearing unisex t-shirts. It doesn't have to be expensive; I've gotten plenty of tops at Target and Old Navy. (I did pick up some cute scoop-neck tees on sale from The Gap for $7 each recently, too.) Jeans that come below the waist look more modern than "Mom jeans". I wear a nice-fitting top with jeans, a pair of Toms, and sometimes a scarf or 3/4-sleeve cardigan. I just purchased a cute gray knit maxi skirt that I'm hoping to wear a lot through the spring and summer, with sandals and a cute tee. I do have some issues with fit these days. Due to my bust size, I need a large tee, but other than my bust, I could really fit a medium. So some tops have too much loose material around the middle. Also, I'm losing weight, and seem to be losing from my rear and hips, but not my belly. So jeans bag in the seat, but I can't fit into the next smaller size until I lose a little more belly. I do have a couple of pairs of skinny jeans, though - one regular dark denim, and one ankle-length bright pink. I do want to get a few more necklaces and earrings for when it's too hot for scarves. ETA: When I'm not going out, I wear yoga pants. I think they look cute! I work out (lift weights and do cardio), and feel much better about my body than I did a year ago when I wasn't working out, was heavier and wearing the same ill-fitting clothes because I didn't want to buy "fat clothes". Now I'm not at my goal size, but I do try to find flattering tops, and I have several pairs of jeans. I'm looking for some nice ponte knit pants or something similar to wear for a slightly dressier but still comfy and casual look. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenangelcat Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Here's some blogs for fashion inspiration. Most of them have how to type articles in addition to outfit posts. http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/ http://girlwithcurves.com/ http://youlookfab.com/ http://www.alreadypretty.com/ Some have mentioned finances and that can obviously be a big barrier but thrift stores can be a good source. Also, after spending years buying cheap clothes that fall apart after a couple of months I find that buying cheap can be a false economy. Now I save up to spend a little more money than I did before and buy better quality clothes that'll last me a couple of years. Learning to sew can help. My $20 thrift store machine did me well for a couple of years before dying (which is why I'm currently using a tailor). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Well I will say I wonder if they make clothing for real people. If I had all sorts of money I'd have everything altered. The sleeves are always too long. The cuts are always a little off. They don't make clothing for real women, or at least not short waisted ones. They make clothing for men, boys, girls, thin teeny girls, tall thin women, tall overweight women, long waisted 5'4" women, but NOT clothing for SHORT WAISTED 5'4" women. I'm convinced I am in the most discriminated against by the fashion industry group in America. Sigh...but then they don't make cute, strappy shoes for women with a bunion on their left foot either. However, every once in a while, every rare, once in a while, I do run onto a wrap style top or empire waist top that looks cute and actually fits. Those, I lamb onto like a newborn calf to it's mother and then I wear them until they are faded and worn out. Jeans are a nightmare. According to my daughter, I would rather have a root canal then shop for clothing. Ask me how I feel about buying a dress for dd's wedding! Ask me! I.hate.it. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I 'could' wear nicer clothes every day, but that seems vain and silly when your day includes cleaning the toilets. I agree...I'm not going to dress up at home for that exact reason. I used to follow a blog of a gal who took pix of herself every day - one of her main go-to items was pencil skirts. Although she looked cute, she lost me when she claimed that it's OK to play on the floor with your kids or clean your toilets in your pencil skirt. Ridiculous! I ruined a brand-new top last year by overspraying Clorox Cleanup on the kitchen counter. I can't imagine trying to scrub my shower or clean my toilet wearing nice clothes. Fun blog! Thanks for sharing. I loved some of her outfits - others, not so much. ;) What I noticed is that she has a few basic pieces that she wears over and over again, and then she mixes things up with some bright accent pieces or accessories. Her basics seem to be her black skinny jeans and black boots (and maybe the jean jacket - I saw that in several outfits too). But then she adds a fun brightly colored top, or patterned scarf, etc. And she always has a large, pretty purse as an accent piece. Yes, that's one thing I love about her blog, that she'll show us what she wore today, and how she wore one of the same pieces last month, and it looks *completely* different! My clothes tend to look the same every time I wear them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 They don't make clothing for real women, or at least not short waisted ones. They make clothing for men, boys, girls, thin teeny girls, tall thin women, tall overweight women, long waisted 5'4" women, but NOT clothing for SHORT WAISTED 5'4" women. I'm convinced I am in the most discriminated against by the fashion industry group in America. Sigh...but then they don't make cute, strappy shoes for women with a bunion on their left foot either. However, every once in a while, every rare, once in a while, I do run onto a wrap style top or empire waist top that looks cute and actually fits. Those, I lamb onto like a newborn calf to it's mother and then I wear them until they are faded and worn out. Jeans are a nightmare. According to my daughter, I would rather have a root canal then shop for clothing. Ask me how I feel about buying a dress for dd's wedding! Ask me! I.hate.it. Faith No, I'm sorry. They do NOT make clothing for tall overweight women. When I was tall and thin I had a terrible time finding clothes long enough for my legs and waist, and now that I am on the heavy side it's virtually impossible to find clothes that actually fit. The problem is the proportions. If the hip size is right, the waist will be way too big and look like a stupid square with big pockets of air at the waistline. If the waist is right, the thighs are too narrow. And often the assumption is that anyone with legs this long must be a supermodel, because they tend to be straight and skinny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Good point. I feel my most capable, strongest, focused, etc. when I'm in sweat pants, rubber boots and a ratty old T-shirt. That's because I'm likely either hauling wood, mucking out the chicken coop, doing yard work, etc. All tasks that make me feel worthwhile. That's fantastic - I would feel the same way if I had your lifestyle. But I'm a suburban housewife so I need a different "uniform" :) LOL. My 14 yo has that shirt. It looks cute on her. Different tastes and all...I just thought you all thought it looked old and I thought it was too young. Of course I'm currently wearing running tights and my 11 yo's sweatshirt. How funny. I *immediately* thought of my MIL when I saw the shirt, but I can see how it would look cute on a young teen, too. :) I am not trying to run down the blogger, but she definitely has self esteem issues, in the comments she says she looks "hideous" in her before picture. That is so sad. I agree. She doesn't look "hideous" in the before picture - she looks exactly like *I* look right now, getting ready for some household tasks...pick up dog poop in the yard, and swiffer the floors, before I shower/change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 No, I'm sorry. They do NOT make clothing for tall overweight women. When I was tall and thin I had a terrible time finding clothes long enough for my legs and waist, and now that I am on the heavy side it's virtually impossible to find clothes that actually fit. The problem is the proportions. If the hip size is right, the waist will be way too big and look like a stupid square with big pockets of air at the waistline. If the waist is right, the thighs are too narrow. And often the assumption is that anyone with legs this long must be a supermodel, because they tend to be straight and skinny. Sigh...if they keep it up, they won't be selling clothes. I mean, at some point, they've got to make decent, pretty clothes for more than one body type, right? Nope, that has to be a dream, a pipe dream of mine. Better to acclimate to the concept that they just aren't going to make real clothes for most women. All I want is a pair of cute shoes for the wedding. I can handle the fact that I'll hate the dress whatever stupid frock I end up with, but is it too much to ask that something strappy and adorable also come in a wide toe?????? Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted March 13, 2013 Author Share Posted March 13, 2013 THanks for all of the interesting comments. I do want 2-3 town/going out for lunch/appointments, etc. outfits. I have found that Cato jeans fit me the best. I have heavy legs/thighs and many jeans are way too tight there but then too big in the hips/waist. I am very short waisted but hippy. They have jeans with an inside elastic waist which helps. I need to get back there and look for a few more pieces. Hopefully I can take my fashion guru friend (who is almost 6' tall and a size 16/18) with me. We are close to the same size technically but given her heigh and my lack thereof the same things do NOT fit both of us. I also hope to shop for a nice leather black or brown pair of shoes that will fit my orthodics but look much cuter than my blue and teal (really not fashionable) Brooks Dyad tennis shoes. I looked today for a few fitted T-shirts (OK it was the Walmart clearance section) and found some cute ones----either in a size too big or a size too small-- but at least I looked. I tend to hate clothes shopping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa R. Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I'd like to second the suggestion that people find a good tailor. Many here have said that the clothes they find in the stores don't fit their particular shape or height. This is true in many cases. There are some people that find brands that are made in just their size. They are lucky. The rest of us should consider buying clothes that fit as good as possible, and then find a tailor to make them fit well. High quality fabrics hang much differently than cheap fabric. It tends to hold up wash after wash. Hanging these clothes to dry rather than using the dryer helps make nicer clothes last longer and look better. High quality fabric and proper laundering also helps eliminate frumpiness. Frumpy has to do with fit and fabric rather than the size or shape of the person. Some suggestions on saving money: second hand shops in a higher-end suburb tend to have a much nicer selection. My dd works in an relatively poor area. The Goodwill there does not have a good selection at all. A Goodwill in another area will have a much better one. Some used clothing stores have mostly unsuitable clothes. Some have bargain after bargain. It's hard to save money on tailoring unless you know how to do it yourself. It really is something to factor into a clothing budget, if possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I don't think there is anyone frumpier then me LOL. I own three pairs of jeans...one with holes in the knees, and two pairs of cut offs for summer.....one so faded because they are like 6 years old and I wear them every other day and one with a saggy butt and held together with a pin because the button broke. I own 4 shirts....all bought at Big W (Walmart equivalent) and faded from constant use. I've given up on clothes shopping. I can't find anything that fits or that I like. I'm also LDS which means I can't wear anything sleeveless (impossible to find a dress that has sleeves and isn't frumpy) and I can't wear anything see through or with deep necklines...which most stuff for older women have. I weigh around 100 pounds and most clothes start at a size bigger then I need ....so I look like a walking scarecrow most of the time. Jeans are impossible because they are all to big in the waist and leave me with a saggy butt. Plus I can't afford or want to pay $60 for an ugly shirt from Target... Prices for clothes in Australia are ridiculous. Plus I hate layers...it's too hot here and I'm already wearing "layers" being LDS. I hate clothes And that is my rant for the day LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Here's some blogs for fashion inspiration. Most of them have how to type articles in addition to outfit posts. http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/ http://girlwithcurves.com/ http://youlookfab.com/ http://www.alreadypretty.com/ Some have mentioned finances and that can obviously be a big barrier but thrift stores can be a good source. Also, after spending years buying cheap clothes that fall apart after a couple of months I find that buying cheap can be a false economy. Now I save up to spend a little more money than I did before and buy better quality clothes that'll last me a couple of years. Learning to sew can help. My $20 thrift store machine did me well for a couple of years before dying (which is why I'm currently using a tailor). Thank you for posting these. I've had a lot of fun looking through them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Ottakee, you might check to see if there's a CJ Banks near you. They're plus/womens size and SUPER, super cute. I'm with the others that there are awkward sizes that are hard to find. I'm short-waisted, rather boring in height (5'5") and have been varying shades of plump for the last 10-12 years. When I'm thin, nothing fits. I finally got to a point where I was plump enough that CJ Banks started fitting. Still too long-waisted for me, but I can usually find stuff to wear. And if you want to bust the frump, wow is it the cute place. I'm not nearly so cute and hip. They have all your mix and match dreams with jackets and shirts and skirts and pants and everything color-coordinated... And the color themes cycle, so every few weeks they have lots of new stuff. I definitely would NOT agree with the idea that 16/18 is so plump it requires the frump. :D Btw, 16/18 will still be misses in some upper end retailers. You might try an XL and just see what happens. Not Walmart, but Lands Ends, Cabelas (for cute jackets!) and maybe some department stores. And like you say, once you find a place where they cut to fit you, then you're golden. That's when you start watching the store and waiting for things to go on clearance. Inevitably they do, and then you get what looks good on you at a price you can afford. On your barn chores, have you even thought of going a different way like pulling coveralls over your regular clothes? And I think cute workout clothes are ESSENTIAL. Definitely get cute workout clothes. Invest in yourself a little. You work SO hard taking care of your kids. It's ok. :) PS. If you really want to feel like a princess, go get your hair done. Maybe don't even go to your regular chick but try someone new. Around here, JC Penny is really popular (believe it or not, don't know if it's that way elsewhere, lol). Anyways, they have levels of people, so you could splurge on yourself. A new hairdo, a new workout outfit, some coveralls, you'd be good to go! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckles Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I'm a size 16 jean and XL top. I am 5'11", but I'm not skinny. I order my jeans from American Eagle they stretch a little. I just bought several new tops that I think are pretty cute. They were on sale from Macy's and J. C. Penny's. I dress them up with cute shoes like my Danskos or sandals. I only have about 3 pair of earrings, and I have some pretty scarves from when I lived in China. I also love cardigans. For going into town, I bet you can find some cute mix and match pieces that would be easy and pretty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 For the OP, I would focus on making your not-working-in-the-barn outfits something that you feel good in and not worry too much about your work clothing. I'm 5'4" and wear a size 16. I HATE my body. I was a decent size before and after my first child but have never been able to get my weight back under control since my second child. I want a new hairstyle. I would like to go short, but my fat face doesn't look good in short hair. I have found that I feel better if I look better, so I do make an effort to get dressed for the day (disclaimer: I have no farm work to do) and wear a bit of makeup. Due to two different problems with my feet, I wear almost exclusively Brooks running shoes simply because I must if I want to be able to walk. It's been a year since Cipro ruined my heel, and I can finally wear my black clogs again for short periods of time if I'm not walking too much. I have what I think is arthritis in the joint of my big toe, making heels quite uncomfortable; I can wear them about two hours tops. For years, my lack of shoe choices lead me to wearing just jeans and solid colored t-shirts. I've found that solid colored cotton t-shirts stain too easily, and I'm one of those women who get the mysterious holes in the tummy of her shirts. Yep, I was frumpy. More recently, I gave up caring if my shoes matched my clothing. I now wear jeans and nicer tops, not caring that my black, white, and purple running shoes don't match. I deliberately look for color and prints now, trying to stay away from the solids, in part because they hide stains better. I'm avoiding 100% cotton (though I love it) because I find the synthetics and blends don't get the holes quite so quickly. Comfort is the most important thing though. To protect my clothing, I wear a cute apron when washing dishes and preparing meals. I'm very busty. I find that v-necks and longer tops work best for me. I don't like long and/or tight sleeves. I don't like capped or shorter sleeves because my arms are too flabby. I'm finding that ruching around the middle helps to hide the rolls. For jeans, I prefer higher waist jeans. I just muffin-top too much with lower waist lines, which I find very uncomfortable and unsightly. I don't care if they look like mom jeans. Here's my newest top; I have the one in blue. I love it. I think it looks very nice on me. I think it looks better on me than it does in the photo because I'm bustier; it looks too flat in the photo! I wear it with jeans and my black clogs if I'm going out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Here's my newest top; I have the one in blue. I love it. I think it looks very nice on me. I think it looks better on me than it does in the photo because I'm bustier; it looks too flat in the photo! I wear it with jeans and my black clogs if I'm going out. I like the top - I just cannot do florals. I can't. I think it has something to do with living for 9 years next to 100k retired people.... Oh and I like the shoes too :D (and ya, I don't care about my shoes when I just need to be able to WALK). I'm going to attempt the shirt shopping thing in a couple of weeks. It will take me that long to gather some money - of course, the money should go for curriculum. I have $70 worth of stuff I *need* asap. Hmmmm, the boyfriend will be in town for a couple of weeks - maybe I'll make him take me shopping! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I'm sure I look frumpy even when I dress up. I'm almost a 16 on bottom - 14's are a little snug, while 16's are too loose, short-waisted, more apple shaped than anything except also have big hips/thighs. The only thing I don't have is a bust - I'm only about a B cup (try finding a 40/42 B bra, not easy). So any shirts that fit without being stretched tight over my stomach/hips, will be very loose on top. Anything that fits on top, will be too snug in the arms, stomach and hips. This also leads to any v-necks coming down too low, and the bottom of most shirts being too short, despite the fact that I'm short-waisted. I don't have the money to get a bunch of stuff altered, especially considering it would be for nothing but hanging around the house. I have one pair of jeans that fits decently (and the company no longer makes that style), and some nicer cotton pants that are kind of like thick yoga pants. I usually wear long or short-sleeve t-shirts with cardigan sweaters, or hoodies in the winter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Love this site http://www.wardrobe911.com/category/your-personal-style/body-type-style/plus-size-body-type/ Here is a good basics list http://sewstorebought.wordpress.com/2010/04/17/best-basic-wardrobe-list-i-have-ever-seen-harpers-bazaar-great-style/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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