Julie in CA Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 All of my guys went somewhere for the evening, and I thought I'd surprise my girls by going out to dinner. We don't eat out often, and dd16 and I both work at a nice-ish restaurant, so we can use our employee discounts for our two meals, and then it wouldn't be too expensive. The problem is that dd14 doesn't want to go out tonight. She's not very hungry, and she just doesn't want to go anywhere at all. :sad: We don't have that many opportunities to go out together, and dd16 would like to go. Do I ask dd14 to go anyway, knowing that she really would rather be home? Or, do I let her stay home and just older dd and I go out? OR, maybe older dd and I should stay home with her and eat a nice meal at home (and then do the dishes afterwards :glare: lol!) It would not feel very good leaving her home, and it wouldn't feel very good to make her go if she's not up for it. Wwyd? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamzanne Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Leave her home and enjoy yourselves! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caitilin Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I'd go, with or without dd14, as you feel moved to persuade her. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 All of my guys went somewhere for the evening, and I thought I'd surprise my girls by going out to dinner. We don't eat out often, and dd16 and I both work at a nice-ish restaurant, so we can use our employee discounts for our two meals, and then it wouldn't be too expensive. The problem is that dd14 doesn't want to go out tonight. She's not very hungry, and she just doesn't want to go anywhere at all. :sad: We don't have that many opportunities to go out together, and dd16 would like to go. Do I ask dd14 to go anyway, knowing that she really would rather be home? Or, do I let her stay home and just older dd and I go out? OR, maybe older dd and I should stay home with her and eat a nice meal at home (and then do the dishes afterwards :glare: lol!) It would not feel very good leaving her home, and it wouldn't feel very good to make her go if she's not up for it. Wwyd? :confused: I would go out. I'd be tempted to make dd14 go, but I could be persuaded to let her stay home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 If she is okay staying home, I'd leave her and go with dd16. My dd views it as a treat to have the house to herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Leave her home and enjoy yourselves! 14 year old doesn't want to go- so go enjoy yourself. Time alone with your other daughter will be nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted October 14, 2012 Author Share Posted October 14, 2012 My dd views it as a treat to have the house to herself. My girls used to view it as a treat to occasionally have the house to themselves, but now that I'm working two jobs, and dd 16 has her own job, and all of the boys have jobs, and dh is at work from 5:30 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. pretty much 7 days a week, dd14 ends up left home alone a little more than I feel comfortable with. :( I want her to enjoy her evening though too, and if that means that she doesn't go out, I'd like to respect that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I'd treat it like any other two gals I'd like to get together with for dinner -- which, in my world, means I'd try to reschedule if one of us wasn't up for the outing. It also means that I would schedule it and make it an important appointment (and leave 'guys' to handle their own meal from time to time rather just waiting for them to be otherwise occupied). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 If she's home alone all the time, I would tell her she's going. If you don't want to force her, then go ahead and go w/ dd 16, but I wouldn't stay home, and I would not make her anything to eat, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Can you get the food to go and all eat together at home? Pick up ice cream and a movie for dessert? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan C. Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I can usually get reluctant ones to go to dinner when I state that is the only option for food. Would dd14 come if you told her it would mean a lot to you, or would that back fire? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 If she is okay staying home, I'd leave her and go with dd16. My dd views it as a treat to have the house to herself. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Could you offer to let dd14 just have dessert at the restaurant while you and dd16 have dinner? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted October 14, 2012 Author Share Posted October 14, 2012 Can you get the food to go and all eat together at home? Pick up ice cream and a movie for dessert? I know, I thought about that too. Honestly though, part of my full-time job in foodservice entails doing hours and hours of dishes nearly every day, and I was looking forward to being served in the way that only a really nice restaurant can accomplish. It feels like if I order the food to go that I'll be paying for a really nice dinner out, but then losing out on that lovely (and fairly rare) feeling of being served. (Selfish, huh? I'm not proud of feeling that way. :001_huh:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 It would depend on why she doesn't want to go. Is she feeling low physically? If so I would reschedule. If she simply isn't in the mood I would say, 'get in the mood honey cuz we are going to go have fun.' I would bet that if it is the latter it won't take her long to be enjoying herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted October 14, 2012 Author Share Posted October 14, 2012 Could you offer to let dd14 just have dessert at the restaurant while you and dd16 have dinner? {sigh} I did offer that as an option, but she just really doesn't want to go anywhere at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I know, I thought about that too. Honestly though, part of my full-time job in foodservice entails doing hours and hours of dishes nearly every day, and I was looking forward to being served in the way that only a really nice restaurant can accomplish. It feels like if I order the food to go that I'll be paying for a really nice dinner out, but then losing out on that lovely (and fairly rare) feeling of being served. (Selfish, huh? I'm not proud of feeling that way. :001_huh:) I like to go out to dinner so there is no kitchen clean up, too, and I don't work in food service. Not selfish, just reality! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I know, I thought about that too. Honestly though, part of my full-time job in foodservice entails doing hours and hours of dishes nearly every day, and I was looking forward to being served in the way that only a really nice restaurant can accomplish. It feels like if I order the food to go that I'll be paying for a really nice dinner out, but then losing out on that lovely (and fairly rare) feeling of being served. (Selfish, huh? I'm not proud of feeling that way. :001_huh:) It's not selfish, and there's nothing to feel bad about. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Is it possible that your dd14 needs you to softly plead with her to go? Maybe she doesn't want to be a burden, but really wants to go. I think I would insist and see if she perked up and got excited about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted October 14, 2012 Author Share Posted October 14, 2012 Talked to dd14, and it turns out that she stayed up way too late last night and is pretty tired. Dd16 and I are going to go, and let dd14 rest at home. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Talked to dd14, and it turns out that she stayed up way too late last night and is pretty tired. Dd16 and I are going to go, and let dd14 rest at home. :001_smile: Enjoy :001_smile:! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Have a lovely dinner! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Talked to dd14, and it turns out that she stayed up way too late last night and is pretty tired. Dd16 and I are going to go, and let dd14 rest at home. :001_smile: Have fun!!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Talked to dd14, and it turns out that she stayed up way too late last night and is pretty tired. Dd16 and I are going to go, and let dd14 rest at home. :001_smile: Yay - I'm glad that was the decision. Enjoy your girl's night out! Fun! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Enjoy being served a lovely meal. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Please post back and tell us how it was! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted October 14, 2012 Author Share Posted October 14, 2012 Garlic sweet potato fries as an appetizer. Fettucine alfredo with grilled chicken and sauteed locally grown vegetables for entree. Cookies & Cream Torte for dessert. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Garlic sweet potato fries as an appetizer.Fettucine alfredo with grilled chicken and sauteed locally grown vegetables for entree. Cookies & Cream Torte for dessert. ;) :hurray: Glad you enjoyed it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan C. Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 I want that dessert..... Glad you had a good time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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