---- Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 (edited) . Edited September 11, 2014 by amana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 How old are they? Give yourself a number of weeks and then reevaluate then. If you examine it daily, you will go crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I think there's nothing wrong in admitting that you made a mistake. It happens. If I had a child whose entire personality changed with a school placement, I'll pull her. Monkey is little--we're not talkng freshman in college here! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mykdsmomy Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 One week isn't enough time to truly evaluate whether or not Monkey will be able to acclimate or not. (This is coming from a mom who pulled her child after 3 days of school so I'm sort of trying to convince myself here too ;) ) I can totally and completely empathize with you and your situation!! I think you need to think long and hard whether or not your guilt is the driving force behind your decision. After a few days back at home, Monkey will be the same lively, full of personality, but pushing mommy to her limits ;) child she was before you put her in school. Is having her at home what's best for her and you? Just some things to think about. Again, I totally get where you're coming from as I am currently evaluating whether I need to bite the bullet and commit to putting ds8 in school knowing it could cause some MASSIVE stress on all of us for a time...but could eventually pay off? Good luck and keep us posted :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 If you truly think you've made a mistake, there's nothing wrong with admitting that. One week is not long enough for a child to adjust to school. Most the teachers allow for a few weeks before the kids have settled into the schedule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rfoster Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 :grouphug: From personal experience - try giving her a month. When my 11 year old ds started school at 6, he screamed, cried, held on to me and acted like he wasn't ever going to see me again on his first day of school. They asked me not to come visit him at school for a week or so to allow him to acclimate. Emotionally, it was one of the hardest weeks of my life. 2 weeks later, he loved school and from then on was upset whenever he had a vacation. I'd give her a few more weeks, and then if she still feels the same, say 'it was a mistake' and bring her back home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 This may sound harsh, but I don't mean it that way. While I would definitely take what the child is saying and doing into consideration, I have never allowed my child's take on things to be the determining factor in whether to homeschool or not. IMO, it is up to the parents to weigh all the related factors, pray, discuss with each other, and make a well-reasoned decision. That decision would rarely be changed in just a few days, based on a clearly emotional child. Talk with her teachers. Talk with some of her peers. Determine whether for all the unpleasantness, this is something that is really going to be helpful to her in the long run. Weigh all the factors, not just her teary pleas. Because many are the things that my dd pleaded for in her life that I was very wise not to give her. (I think back to the camel, lemur, treehouse episodes...). You are the parent, you have better judgement and much more life experience. Don't be swayed by mere emotion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen3kids Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 We had a similar experience 2 years ago with younger ds... He wanted to go to school. He never had been and wanted to try it. Knowing his wiggly ways and inability to sit for more than 5-10 minutes, I didn't want to allow it. Dh insisted we let him. Off he went. First week was fine. Over the next 2 weeks he went 3 days, and then he was done. Fast forward 2 years. He wanted to try middle school. After 2 weeks he is still loving it (and he has spent 9 days there!). Will that change? Possibly. Will we allow him to homeschool again? I say yes, dh says no. He is doing fine there, but I see no need to keep him there if he'd rather be home. He is my most emotional child and not only did it kill me to see him so sad when he was younger, I could not physically force him to go to school. We are fortunate enough to have the option of homeschooling so why should I force him to do something he does not enjoy? Your dd is only 6 - you know her best. Just because she can 'get used to it' doesn't mean it is right. My dd was adamant that she was never going to school, but partway through 6th grade she wanted to and she did - she was ready and she loves it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I think you are right to bring her home. She is only 6. If you feel she needs you, and your reasons for sending her are wants, not needs, then her needs outweigh your wants. If, on the other hand, you truly NEED her to be in school, and she just WANTS to come home, the situation is different. I believe in meeting everyone's needs first, then worrying about wants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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NotSoObvious Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I've shared before that her teacher is not the warm and fuzzy type, but very strict and no nonsense. She's frustrated with dd6. In fact, she told me last week that in 22 years of teaching, dd is only the 3rd student she's ever seen who reacts the way she does in the classroom. There have been daily tears, and other than the first day, daily timeouts to calm down. Through all of our emails, we had come up with a solution. I would visit for recess and lunch with dd every day, until she didn't need me. The principal told me before I left yesterday, in front of dd, that it was distracting to the other students to have me there and that I wasn't to come back next week. :confused1: Yet, last week, they called me to come into the school multiple times in the same day. I'm just frustrated. I would get her out now if you can. Sorry, but I left my dd in a situation like the above for the whole year before we started homeschooling. It did severe damage and I am still paying for it. Let her grow and mature a little at home, if you can. The classroom is just so not conducive to these kinds of kids. Can you imagine what it does to a child to be in severe meltdown mode every single day? The thought makes me so sad because this is what my dd went through for a year. I am the ultimate suck-it-up mom, but not in this situation, if you can at all avoid it. BTDT. Never again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycalling Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I'm dealing with a similar decision. I sent 4 of mine to school and ds7, who was my best homeschooler and loved learning, is having a terrible time. They all will be coming home, but I don't know when to bring them home...just ds7 (leaving his twin in the ps class alone) or all 4 together, which means waiting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 The title should have said likely headed back home. Sorry. :blush: I'm trying really hard not to make it an emotional decision. There are plenty of times that I don't give into my children. My dh tells me that I'm a "suck it up, buttercup" kind of mom. We're going to still try to stick it out for awhile, but I'm losing hope. Dd doesn't know there's any option but going to school right now. I've shared before that her teacher is not the warm and fuzzy type, but very strict and no nonsense. She's frustrated with dd6. In fact, she told me last week that in 22 years of teaching, dd is only the 3rd student she's ever seen who reacts the way she does in the classroom. There have been daily tears, and other than the first day, daily timeouts to calm down. Through all of our emails, we had come up with a solution. I would visit for recess and lunch with dd every day, until she didn't need me. The principal told me before I left yesterday, in front of dd, that it was distracting to the other students to have me there and that I wasn't to come back next week. :confused1: Yet, last week, they called me to come into the school multiple times in the same day. I'm just frustrated. I don't know what was in your OP, but I would NOT be tolerating this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbeym Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I've shared before that her teacher is not the warm and fuzzy type, but very strict and no nonsense. She's frustrated with dd6. In fact, she told me last week that in 22 years of teaching, dd is only the 3rd student she's ever seen who reacts the way she does in the classroom. There have been daily tears, and other than the first day, daily timeouts to calm down. Through all of our emails, we had come up with a solution. I would visit for recess and lunch with dd every day, until she didn't need me. The principal told me before I left yesterday, in front of dd, that it was distracting to the other students to have me there and that I wasn't to come back next week. :confused1: Yet, last week, they called me to come into the school multiple times in the same day. It sounds to me like right now your DD needs you more than you need her to be in ps. I can't say whether leaving her there would or would not crush her spirit, but it very likely will lead to long term behavioral problems during school hours. We knew from day 1 of K that ps was going to be rough on DS14 but the thought of homeschooling him didn't occur to us until just a couple years ago. It took an entire year and multiple more problems for us to finally make the decision to hs. We're still working some issues out, but after 9 months of hs, he's settling down and his true self is starting to shine. Let her come home and try ps again next year if need be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Honestly, the school should be able to handle your child effectively and with kindness. It doesn't sound like they care to do so. If I wanted to keep my child in the school, I'd probably be going up the chain of command as her needs aren't being met. But, that probably wouldn't go over well with the powers that be. :glare: Hope you are able to get a resolution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Honestly, the school should be able to handle your child effectively and with kindness. It doesn't sound like they care to do so. If I wanted to keep my child in the school, I'd probably be going up the chain of command as her needs aren't being met. But, that probably wouldn't go over well with the powers that be. :glare: Hope you are able to get a resolution. :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: I didn't get a chance to read your original post before you edited it, but it sounds like the teacher is an idiot. I'm sorry, but I think that anyone teaching 6yos should be the warm and fuzzy type! Time outs because your dd is upset? :eek: Something seems wrong here. If you want to wait a bit before bringing her home, can you have her transferred to a different class, with a nicer teacher? If there's no other class, and no other teacher, I think I would just bring her home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: I didn't get a chance to read your original post before you edited it, but it sounds like the teacher is an idiot. I'm sorry, but I think that anyone teaching 6yos should be the warm and fuzzy type! Time outs because your dd is upset? :eek: Something seems wrong here. If you want to wait a bit before bringing her home, can you have her transferred to a different class, with a nicer teacher? If there's no other class, and no other teacher, I think I would just bring her home. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I would get her out now if you can. Sorry, but I left my dd in a situation like the above for the whole year before we started homeschooling. It did severe damage and I am still paying for it. Let her grow and mature a little at home, if you can. The classroom is just so not conducive to these kinds of kids.Can you imagine what it does to a child to be in severe meltdown mode every single day? The thought makes me so sad because this is what my dd went through for a year. I am the ultimate suck-it-up mom, but not in this situation, if you can at all avoid it. BTDT. Never again. Yes, the highlighted part. Our brains should NOT be exposed to that level of stress hormones on a daily basis. It is harmful to us emotionally and physically. She's already been punched, had a hard time, etc. Bring her home if that is an option. Try again next year if you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funschooler5 Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 (edited) :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: I didn't get a chance to read your original post before you edited it, but it sounds like the teacher is an idiot. I'm sorry, but I think that anyone teaching 6yos should be the warm and fuzzy type! Time outs because your dd is upset? :eek: Something seems wrong here. If you want to wait a bit before bringing her home, can you have her transferred to a different class, with a nicer teacher? If there's no other class, and no other teacher, I think I would just bring her home. :iagree: I also don't like the fact that the principal didn't want you to come visit. When my older 2 kids kids were in school for a brief period several years ago, the teachers and staff made it clear we could stop by any time. If taking her out isn't an option, I wonder if you could volunteer in the classroom for awhile? The schools around here encourage parents to volunteer. Edited September 8, 2012 by funschooler5 Left out a word. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twilight Woods Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I pulled my DD out after 2.5 weeks of school. No amount of time for "adjustment" would have mattered. You are the best judge of what is best for your DD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I think I would like to have a talk with the principal and ask for clarification-- "is it our plan to have me come in for lunch? Or not? I'm hearing mixed messages." "I appreciate that my presence could be a distraction, so is there a way that I can be with DD at lunch that would not be distracting to the other students?" Also, I think a request to switch teachers might be in order. I agree with Cat. Not every teacher is a good match for everyone and it sounds like this teacher is possibly not up to it. I understand this is so upsetting.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Honestly, the school should be able to handle your child effectively and with kindness. It doesn't sound like they care to do so. If I wanted to keep my child in the school, I'd probably be going up the chain of command as her needs aren't being met. But, that probably wouldn't go over well with the powers that be. :glare: Hope you are able to get a resolution. :iagree: They should be able to, but w/my ds #2 they didn't WANT to. That was made perfectly clear. He had an IEP, so we could've fought, but we knew the best place was him to be with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readinmom Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Ds 15 returned to ps this year. It's been very stressful for ME! He, on the other hand, loves it. He is a social butterfly, always has been. I'm waiting for the newness to wear off, when getting up at 5:30 wears off, etc. Sorry about your experience. You are the only advocate your dd has. Every decision is in her best interest. Don't second guess yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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