Based on Faith Academy Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I have been reading a few of the posts over this past week and I have noticed a trend. There seem to be a few women who like myself seem to desire to make friends from the Hive. As a single, homeschooling, working mother all my time is taken up with my kids or working all weekend long as much as I can. Therefore, my chance to get out and make friends is next to impossible. Yes, I go to church but for some reason I haven't made close friends even doing that. I think it would be wonderful for those that would enjoy the chance to make friends, become e-pals, or whatever to have that chance to do so with like minded women. Maybe I am the only one who has this desire but I figure it wouldn't hurt to post and find out. I for one know I would enjoy having someone to just share the ups and downs of the day at times or be able to ask advice of things you don't want posted in an open message board. Thanks for taking the time to read.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CyndiLJ Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I totally understand and agree. I didn't quite expect the isolation to the degree we have experienced it. Don't get me wrong, our kids are in several outside activities and are hanging out with people of all ages, but it is ME who suffers from time to time as I miss out on the interaction I used to have even on a casual basis with other adults. I have made almost no friends in the homeschooling community here, maybe because we jumped in mid-stream and maybe because we are not a good fit for many of the very religiously conservative homeschooling families around us. We attend church regularly, and most of my friends are there but almost all are older whose kids are grown and gone. I go through stretches where I feel terribly alone, and others where I am just fine. I truly love homeschooling the kids, it is fun for all of us, and I have been surprised to discover that I am actually quite good at it! So, no regrets, but I sure do wish that connecting with others was a little easier. For me, all it would really take would be one or two friends who understand curriculum talk and the homeschooling lifestyle and I would probably avoid feeling that tug every once in awhile. Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Based on Faith Academy Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 I can totally relate to the isolation. It is funny with my job I am anything but isolated but no one there understand why I do what I do or even live the way I do. I remember growing up and having one really good friend and I hear people say that they have one such friend. At times I wonder where or how it is I missed out on that. Time and life helped to pull me apart from my high school best friend. I would love the chance to have a real true blue friend. Is that too much to hope for? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dm379 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Op - I pm'd you. I will be happy to be your friend. And anybody else that wants one. I know what you mean about wanting that one friend. For me, we move so much that I am tired of starting over with friendships yearly. Sure I keep in touch with old ones sometimes but after years people tend to drift apart. I miss having that one person that "gets" it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I totally understand and agree. I didn't quite expect the isolation to the degree we have experienced it. Don't get me wrong, our kids are in several outside activities and are hanging out with people of all ages, but it is ME who suffers from time to time as I miss out on the interaction I used to have even on a casual basis with other adults. I have made almost no friends in the homeschooling community here, maybe because we jumped in mid-stream and maybe because we are not a good fit for many of the very religiously conservative homeschooling families around us. We attend church regularly, and most of my friends are there but almost all are older whose kids are grown and gone. Cindy Cindy, I could have written this part of your post. Homeschooling is more isolating than I thought, as we don't seem to fit in with the hsing community here, but we don't really fit in with the public schoolers anymore either!! DS is in several activities, but I miss the interaction of Moms that I used to have!! I do have several good friends, but I miss having a group of people touch base with or have coffee with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gabbymom Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 :iagree: And (dare I say it?) sometimes critical responses to one's posts on this board make one feel even more isolated and alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Based on Faith Academy Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 I think that basically says it all. I feel for all you ladies and would love the chance to get to know you. I do miss being able to get together with a friend when I had someone here who could stay with the kids. Now they have all moved on to someone who has the time to get out of the house that I just don't seem to have.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Based on Faith Academy Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 What part of NY are in you in? I'm close to Syracuse. Yes, it is hard especially if you don't have friends who home school. I am part of a home school group with my church but I live 40 minutes from my church and most of the people who attend so it isn't easy to get together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Based on Faith Academy Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 Have you tried to put something out there on a local message board? I'm sure there are others in your situation. No, I haven't done that. I am not familiar with any message boards for NY. I am sure there are some but am unfamiliar with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EducationX2 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I have been reading a few of the posts over this past week and I have noticed a trend. There seem to be a few women who like myself seem to desire to make friends from the Hive. As a single, homeschooling, working mother all my time is taken up with my kids or working all weekend long as much as I can. I totally understand and agree. I didn't quite expect the isolation to the degree we have experienced it. Don't get me wrong, our kids are in several outside activities and are hanging out with people of all ages, but it is ME who suffers from time to time as I miss out on the interaction I used to have even on a casual basis with other adults. I have made almost no friends in the homeschooling community here, maybe because we jumped in mid-stream and maybe because we are not a good fit for many of the very religiously conservative homeschooling families around us. Hi to both of you! I am a single homeschooling mother also feeling quite isolated. We have met quite a few other homeschoolers, but they are of the religious conservative set, and we just seem to have nothing in common. DD has made a few friends in the group, which is wonderful for her, but for me..... :tongue_smilie: Adding to my (perceived....) sense of isolation is that I'm a full time college student. So I spend 20-25 hours a week on a college campus, surrounded by another group of people that I'm unable to connect with. It's hard to make friends when people ask if you want to grab some lunch and you either can't or have to bring along a kid. Wow! This post sounds so whiny. I'll end on a good note. I love homeschooling. I really do. It's so amazing being with DD while she's learning, and I LOVE being the one to teach her. :D It's nice to see that I'm not the only one that feels so isolated though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelly in IL Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 A chat on the phone is a lifeline to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Oh, I feel so pathetic saying this, but I really do feel lonely during the day! I want someone I can shoot a text to and say "Can you believe what I'm dealing with today?" :) I lean on my husband for that, but he's working and I feel bad when I distract him too much. I don't have another homeschooling mom I can obsess with, or talk about how I'm NOT perfect and I do NOT have this all figured out. The Hive is great for what it is, but I don't really feel like I can post here for support. I've seen people do that and get jumped all over and it just makes me sad. Don't get me wrong, I've also seen the Hive rally around people and be wonderfully supportive, but you never know which one is going to happen. ;) I see the value of the honesty and the diverse perspectives here, so I wouldn't even want to change it. But I'm jealous of those women who seem to have close friends they do so much with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I'm not looking for friends in the sense of feeling lonely or isolated, but I enjoy meeting new people through the mail, and I am an old-fashioned letter writer. So, if anyone would enjoy a snail mail pen pal, PM me and we can discuss! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I'll be your friend. Also a single working homeschooling mom I know too well the isolation irl and the joy I find here. My kids enjoy having pen pals, having my own would be good too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CyndiLJ Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I hang around the Hive now and then, but I wonder if part of the inability to connect on a more personal basis here is the fact that the community is too large, and there is no way to easily connect on a smaller basis...if that makes sense. Sort of like being a kid at a huge high school versus a small one. The Hive is enormous, and you can find someone who comments who you feel a little connection with but then never encounter them again. Sometimes IRL it takes a few encounters to find our way into a friendship. Maybe we need live time chat rooms or something, as many of us would run into each other often in the same place at the same time. I don't know, but I sure relate to everything being said here...even if I am not single, nor a college student!! Hahaha! Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CyndiLJ Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Cindy, I could have written this part of your post. Homeschooling is more isolating than I thought, as we don't seem to fit in with the hsing community here, but we don't really fit in with the public schoolers anymore either!! DS is in several activities, but I miss the interaction of Moms that I used to have!! I do have several good friends, but I miss having a group of people touch base with or have coffee with. You know, one of the reasons we didn't homeschool earlier on (we started when my oldest was in 5th) was this exact issue, I could already see the writing on the wall and was hesitant to jump into something I knew would be a challenge. I sometimes even worry about posting about the issue of not fitting in with more conservative fundamental Christians because I don't want to be perceived as judging people's choices in any way. It is just that both they and I would be uncomfortable (and have been in certain situations) trying to avoid conversation that might offend, and that makes it too much work to have a friendship with. My kids suffer the same consequence here, as there are few middle-of-the-road homeschoolers nearby, or at least we haven't encountered many. Like you said above, I do have a few good friends but would love, love, love to have a good homeschooling buddy to share my daily life experience with. My other friends can not possibly be expected to care about curriculum conversations, learning styles, or HSing activities. It is that connection with someone doing the same thing that is sorely lacking for me, and I feel it more now that we are really settled into it and I am more confident. Maybe I was too scared to feel it earlier on!! Throw in the mix that we are already a bit of a weird family here in rural Colorado with all our children adopted from Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan, with Asian sons and Caucasian daughters, and we already are very different because of that. It is sort of like I have almost no real peers who understand adoption issues, homeschooling dilemmas, etc. And yea, I think I too sound a little whiny on this topic, but it is still lonely sometimes! Cindy:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 And yea, I think I too sound a little whiny on this topic, but it is still lonely sometimes! Cindy:tongue_smilie: I checked out your blog (I hope that wasn't stalkerish of me;)). I think you have a beautiful, industrious, fun family. If I still lived in CO I would make a trek on over to see you. I think you are my kind of people. BTW - I posted on your thread about the Boy Scout Merit badge pamphlets. I don't know if you revisited that thread or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Oh, I feel so pathetic saying this, but I really do feel lonely during the day! I want someone I can shoot a text to and say "Can you believe what I'm dealing with today?" :) I lean on my husband for that, but he's working and I feel bad when I distract him too much. I don't have another homeschooling mom I can obsess with, or talk about how I'm NOT perfect and I do NOT have this all figured out. The Hive is great for what it is, but I don't really feel like I can post here for support. I've seen people do that and get jumped all over and it just makes me sad. Don't get me wrong, I've also seen the Hive rally around people and be wonderfully supportive, but you never know which one is going to happen. ;) I see the value of the honesty and the diverse perspectives here, so I wouldn't even want to change it. But I'm jealous of those women who seem to have close friends they do so much with. I'm not homeschooling yet(see kids ages), but I totally get this perspective. I would love it too for moms of younger kids. My MOPs group is supposed to be this way, but it's more for inconsequential chit chatty stuff IYKWIM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Based on Faith Academy Posted June 22, 2012 Author Share Posted June 22, 2012 I answered all that posted here. Hopefully everyone received their pm and if not please don't assume that I didn't send you one. I would love it if you didn't receive a message from me that you just pm me directly. I look forward to hearing back from at least one person, crossing fingers,lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twilight Woods Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 I can relate. I am the only one out of my friends that is/will be homeschooling. They all think I am crazy. LOL. It would be nice to have more like minded friends to talk to especially since this is our first year! :) We have joined a coop BUT that does not start till September and I have no idea how it will go. I tend to shy away from "clique" groups..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomToJazmyne Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Hi to both of you! I am a single homeschooling mother also feeling quite isolated. We have met quite a few other homeschoolers, but they are of the religious conservative set, and we just seem to have nothing in common. DD has made a few friends in the group, which is wonderful for her, but for me..... :tongue_smilie:Adding to my (perceived....) sense of isolation is that I'm a full time college student. So I spend 20-25 hours a week on a college campus, surrounded by another group of people that I'm unable to connect with. It's hard to make friends when people ask if you want to grab some lunch and you either can't or have to bring along a kid. Wow! This post sounds so whiny. I'll end on a good note. I love homeschooling. I really do. It's so amazing being with DD while she's learning, and I LOVE being the one to teach her. :D It's nice to see that I'm not the only one that feels so isolated though. I understand what you are saying about being unable to connect with the other students on the college campus. I just graduated in December that was my life as well. Even the other moms who were in my classes had such different values and lifestyles that we didn't mesh. I have not been able to connect with the homeschool groups around here for a couple of reasons. The major one is that most of the home school activities around here are either for older children or too often that I can't justify the gas as we live 45 minutes from town. I feel alone because I don't fit in with any of the groups here as they are too religious or we just don't have any of the same interests. We live 45 minutes from town which also cuts down on the traveling we can do. Until December, all my free time was spent at school, doing homework, or with my daughter. My DH is gone 12 hours a day as he is working 1.5 in the other direction and he just doesn't get homeschooling...but is willing to let me educate our daughter in whatever way I feel is best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happymomofboys Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 I have 0 friends IRL. Okay, that's not technically true. I have friends from before we moved to NY that I keep in touch with through FB, but I have no friends here. I'm introverted, have social anxiety, dislike phones, and have always had just one or two close friends at a time. I don't ever feel like I fit in any group. I'm always the weird one. Or I'm too conservative, or not conservative enough, or too religious, or not religious enough. :glare: I'd love to make friends, but it's hard to do when all of the above apply. My kids make friends through AWANA and Taekwondo, but I do all of my socializing through the computer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Based on Faith Academy Posted June 22, 2012 Author Share Posted June 22, 2012 Oh fellow nyer...where abouts or would you rather not say? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happymomofboys Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Oh fellow nyer...where abouts or would you rather not say? St. Lawrence County :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 (edited) You know there's about a half a billion of us on facebook too. Let me know if you want to pile on, it's lots of fun. I like posting pictures of us riding the bus into town, riding the bus back home. My dd has an American Girl doll that goes on lots of adventures and steals the show most often. :) You can find me there via this: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002674314681 ( I think that'll work ) - but anyway, consider yourself (and anyone else) invited to join the FB crew, it's lots of fun! Edited June 22, 2012 by one*mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoriK Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 I am in the same boat. I was just telling Dh the other day that I haven't had any real friends in years. He was in the Air Force when we got married and we spent the first half of our marriage moving all around the country. We were never anywhere long enough to make close friends. Once he retired I thought that would change, but he took a job with a military contractor and we were on the move again. LOL We just moved from PA to the high desert of California. I have 3 little ones that keep me busy. I am the only stay at home mom on my block. I think back to my childhood when everyone stayed home and neighbors would pop in for morning coffee, bringing their own mug. Times have changed and it is harder to find those kind of friends. This will be my first year homeschooling and I know that will just isolate me even more. It would be wonderful to have friends to text or email or even call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 I think this is a sweet thread. :) I would love to be anyone's friend. I have only a couple if nice acquaintances that I don't see often and really no close friends irl at all...no reason other than we've moved a lot in our lives I guess, and that makes you have to start all over again. I really love the hive because it fills that void in my life when I need to talk to somebody besides my dh, and I know there will be somebody here who understands! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CyndiLJ Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 I checked out your blog (I hope that wasn't stalkerish of me;)). I think you have a beautiful, industrious, fun family. If I still lived in CO I would make a trek on over to see you. I think you are my kind of people. BTW - I posted on your thread about the Boy Scout Merit badge pamphlets. I don't know if you revisited that thread or not. You had me totally laughing over the "stalkerish" comment! Thank you for the kind comments about our family, we are a crazy crew, but man do I love 'em all. You know, due to being part of online adoption communities since our first one 12 years ago, I have met some of the most amazing people who became dear friends who have been incredibly supportive. I so hope I can find a way to find that same sort of connection with homeschooling, as even that would help. So...Dragon Academy, let's stay in touch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 I'm close to Syracuse. That's where I grew up! Unfortunately, I don't live there anymore and everyone I still know there is in the "getting married/first pregnancy" stage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reflections Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 I am surrounded by people I don't fit in with. I have about 2 friends IRL (one is solidly christian and the other is solidly not) - but the isolation sometimes has me talking to old men in electric carts at the grocery store just for an adult conversation - I am so not kidding. And I worry that our quirkiness will make it difficult for my daughter making friends too - my ds7 is too little right now for it to matter too,too much. I worry alot about alot. I would love more friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godsaggie Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I have been reading a few of the posts over this past week and I have noticed a trend. There seem to be a few women who like myself seem to desire to make friends from the Hive. As a single, homeschooling, working mother all my time is taken up with my kids or working all weekend long as much as I can. Therefore, my chance to get out and make friends is next to impossible. Yes, I go to church but for some reason I haven't made close friends even doing that. I think it would be wonderful for those that would enjoy the chance to make friends, become e-pals, or whatever to have that chance to do so with like minded women. Maybe I am the only one who has this desire but I figure it wouldn't hurt to post and find out. I for one know I would enjoy having someone to just share the ups and downs of the day at times or be able to ask advice of things you don't want posted in an open message board. Thanks for taking the time to read.:) I can totally relate! I came to these boards when I was really feeling lonely and now feel like I am addicted to the boards! I don't always comment and mostly lurk. I have had a hard time connecting...we live in a small rural Colorado mountain town where I am living on a shoestring while everyone else lives on trust funds and whatnot. So I don't really fit in with most of the homeschoolers that I meet. And I am a fairly conservative Christian and stand firm in my beliefs...so I really feel isolated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I would like to join in (please don't let me kill your thread!). :lol: I have never been great at making friends. I am shy AND introverted, socially awkward, and eclectic. I don't fit in to a lot of groups-I'm very liberal (politically and religiously) and AP, but I'm not militant and like all sorts of people no matter your affiliation. Anyone can message me if they are interested. Maybe we can set up penpals or something? A social group on here? It's depressing to me not to have a best friend like everyone else I know. I have dh, but in many ways, we've grown apart in our interests. He only wants to talk music (I am completely tone deaf and am ambivalent at best about most music). I need someone nonjudgmental to talk homeschooling or kids or life with. I would say I have a blog you can check out to know more about me...but it's so neglected that it's an embarrassment! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom2011 Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I totally understand and agree. I didn't quite expect the isolation to the degree we have experienced it. Don't get me wrong, our kids are in several outside activities and are hanging out with people of all ages, but it is ME who suffers from time to time as I miss out on the interaction I used to have even on a casual basis with other adults. I have made almost no friends in the homeschooling community here, maybe because we jumped in mid-stream and maybe because we are not a good fit for many of the very religiously conservative homeschooling families around us. We attend church regularly, and most of my friends are there but almost all are older whose kids are grown and gone. I go through stretches where I feel terribly alone, and others where I am just fine. I truly love homeschooling the kids, it is fun for all of us, and I have been surprised to discover that I am actually quite good at it! So, no regrets, but I sure do wish that connecting with others was a little easier. For me, all it would really take would be one or two friends who understand curriculum talk and the homeschooling lifestyle and I would probably avoid feeling that tug every once in awhile. Cindy I sometimes feel quite isolated as well. My kids have their neighborhood friends and activities. I get little to zero socialization. I have also found that we don't fit in too well with the HS groups in our area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Based on Faith Academy Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 St. Lawrence County :001_smile: We are about three hours away from each other.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Based on Faith Academy Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 This will be my first year homeschooling and I know that will just isolate me even more. It would be wonderful to have friends to text or email or even call. Welcome to home schooling!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Based on Faith Academy Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 That's where I grew up! Unfortunately, I don't live there anymore and everyone I still know there is in the "getting married/first pregnancy" stage. Niceeeeee! Well I am single and not pregnant or if so it is definitely immaculate conception. Oh wait I have already had the "first pregnancy" stage almost 14 years ago. You are in Ohio now? That is still not that far away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Based on Faith Academy Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 I would love more friends. We have kids almost the same age. My ds is 13 and dd is 6. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bee Happy Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I'm in a similar boat. My husband works out of town for 11 days and then is home for 3. I have no car, so we are often stranded and only able to participate in things within walking distance. We get left out of a lot because of it. I am hoping to get a car soon! Anyway, I'm such an eclectic person that some people just don't get me. heh I've been homeschooling since 1999 and for many years people wrote me off as the weird one. HEHE...that may be a little true. I can't fit myself into any box. I'm open to buddies as well. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Based on Faith Academy Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 And I am a fairly conservative Christian and stand firm in my beliefs...so I really feel isolated! One hundred percent agree!!!!!!!!:iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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