Mississippi Mama Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Hi other moms! I have a 10 month old little girl and she has just started on solids. The two of us are quite happY:001_smile: I've always been one to nurse until the age of 2ish. My DH is fine with that so my question isn't about weaning. I don't plan for her to wean any time soon. I just have the nagging, and maybe selfish, idea that I want the DH and me to go on a cruise or a weekend trip for our 15th anniversary in August. Some of you will laugh and some with nod....anyway, I've never left my babies this long until they were a bit older. But I'm ready to get away! I wouldn't mind taking her, but I think DH and I will get more R & R if just the 2 of us are together and not any of our 6 kids. She will be 12-13 mo. old at this time. I've left my babes for maybe a night at this age and they have done ok....not great, but grandma and baby survived with a nap the next day:001_huh: SO....my question for you that have been in my shoes, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Schedule the vacation (grandma is on board for this idea--my mother in law is GREAT) and pray DD does ok? Or put off the vacation? One night is just not good enough for me. I need a break asap and something to look forward too. Plus I have a nagging feeling my DH and I need this as a couple. Thanks for your thoughts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Well what would you plan to do with the milk you are going to produce while gone? You'd have to pump or you would be engorged and probably compromise your supply. Has she ever had a bottle? Do you plan to pump a lot and freeze or do formula? I would not leave an under 18 month -2 year old for more than 24 hours with both parents gone, but that's just me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeganCupcake Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Only you can answer that question for you and your baby. :) You probably would need to either manually express or have a manual pump available so you don't get uncomfortably engorged and put yourself at risk of mastitis. And baby will need to take formula, cow's milk, or pumped breastmilk while you're gone. She will need to take a cup of something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Personally, I wouldn't do it if my baby is under a year old. Even then, if I left for more than a day, I would need to find a pump or else I'd be uncomfortable. That's just how I am though. Right now dd is 12 months and I would have a problem leaving her for more than a day. That's to say, I wouldn't leave her over night, but that's me. She still nurses 2-5 times per night so leaving her would be really hard on both of us right now. All THAT being said...I **really** need a break, personally. Dh is only home on the weekends and when he is, we're all pretty busy. Sorry, didn't mean to make this into something about ME lolol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalynnrmc Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 If your MIL is on board and you really think YOU will be okay, I say go for it. I'm in the same boat - usually nursing until about 2 years old and not usually being able to get away. Always before, around a year to 15 months was the first time my older kids could be left overnight. With my twins, who are 21 months old and still nursing and not even sleeping through the night <_< , leaving them overnight is NOT an option just yet. Actually I DID leave them with hubby, and baby boy did just fine... baby girl screamed til 5am, then was up at normal time and going all day like normal. :eek: Could you maybe try a trial run, one night with grandma before said cruise? We did the one night trial run in anticipation of my attending a 2-night retreat about 6 weeks later. I didn't go on said retreat because of the trial run's results, and honestly I'm SO GLAD we did that trial run. I'd have felt horrible to come back from a super fun, all-me weekend, to find hubby stressed and exhausted because the twins wouldn't sleep at all and screamed the whole weekend for their mommy. That would have broken my heart and would very much NOT have been worth it. So, though I was really disappointed to not go on my retreat, I did get ONE night away, (and the pumping because of engorgement thing is totally true - don't NOT take a pump because you never get engorged and don't think she's nursing "all that much" - take it from the voice of experience here,) and now I know that we still need to work on some things before any longer get-aways are possible. (Or, even leaving them with anybody BUT hubby. My MIL is disabled, and my mother is nowhere nearly as understanding as your MIL seems to be. LOL) I say try it, and go for it! Even us 'attached' mommies need some mom-and-daddy time. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 If you are okay with the possibility that an extended leave (more than 48 hours) may cause her to wean then it would be okay. If you really want to nurse longer than I wouldn't leave her more than a weekend at most. If it were me, I'd wouldn't want to wean at that age yet. I'd schedule the trip in January-March and celebrate your anniversary then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mchel210 Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 I went on vacation for 2 days with a friend and just left pumped milk for my husband to give my daughter. Mine was only a few months old...but boy did I need a break. No problems at all. I had to take a pump and dump while away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homemaker Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 I would do the cruise with my husband....in a few months when the baby Is weaned. Having to pump and dump every three hours or so doesn't sound like fun. Nursing is a short season of life, it won't be long until you are done, so just use the extra time to plan and save money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 I'd arrange something else when the baby is this young. Having engorged breasts doesn't sound like a fun get away to me. You'd be only thinking of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2samlibby Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 I probably wouldn't, unless I was ready to wean. At that age, I would imagine that if you go on a cruise that is more than a couple of days, she will probably be weaned by the time you come back. Unless you are planning on pumping while gone, it will probably be pretty uncomfortable for you. I would either wean before or postpone the trip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 My mom went away for a weekend when my brother was about that age ... it disrupted the nursing relationship to the point that he refused to resume when she got back ... it was an uncomfortable weekend away (even with some pumping), along with an uncomfortable couple of weeks after. My dad was deployed and it was to get to go see him (however briefly), but I'm not sure she'd do it again. Still, it's an individual decision. With my youngest, who was/is fairly demanding, I HAD to get away for a couple of days at that age for my own sanity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 I would do a one night stay somewhere like a B&B now. If it is a little less than 24 hours, you could pump enough for the baby while you are gone and pump while you are away. Most we have stayed in had fridges in the room, then you don't have to dump it. When baby is weaned, then plan a nice trip. I would end up with mastitis if I left a nursing baby that long. I have had it on a trip (with baby) before and it was NO FUN!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 Another option is if MIL is on board for overnight, maybe you could pump and leave a bottle, and have a special date night at h ome with DH. You can have some alone time, good sleep, and see how it goes with baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 I left my 1 yr old for a week to go on a trip to Guatemala. I pumped and made sure I kept my supply up, but my daughter wouldn't nurse when I got back. I tried very hard for several days, but she didn't want to do it. She also was very much a daddy's girl after that, she wouldn't let me comfort her or anything for several months. My advice would be to wait, or maybe higher someone to come with you, and they can bring you the baby when it is time to nurse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 For our family, I wouldn't do it. I'd be too afraid it would reduce my supply, baby would reject bottle (and if you are on a ship, there's no turning back) etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 Hi other moms! I have a 10 month old little girl and she has just started on solids. The two of us are quite happY:001_smile: I've always been one to nurse until the age of 2ish. My DH is fine with that so my question isn't about weaning. I don't plan for her to wean any time soon. I just have the nagging, and maybe selfish, idea that I want the DH and me to go on a cruise or a weekend trip for our 15th anniversary in August. Some of you will laugh and some with nod....anyway, I've never left my babies this long until they were a bit older. But I'm ready to get away! I wouldn't mind taking her, but I think DH and I will get more R & R if just the 2 of us are together and not any of our 6 kids. She will be 12-13 mo. old at this time. I've left my babes for maybe a night at this age and they have done ok....not great, but grandma and baby survived with a nap the next day:001_huh: SO....my question for you that have been in my shoes, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Schedule the vacation (grandma is on board for this idea--my mother in law is GREAT) and pray DD does ok? Or put off the vacation? One night is just not good enough for me. I need a break asap and something to look forward too. Plus I have a nagging feeling my DH and I need this as a couple. Thanks for your thoughts! I'd go, if it were me. In fact, I did. I had three children 5-and-under, and when my youngest was 10 months, I went on a three night get-away in Canada :) I pumped while I was gone, and came right back. Darling #3 got right back in the swing of nursing. No problem. It was wonderful for me. So. . .whatever works for you, but I was very happy, and I wouldn't do it differently if I could go back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie131 Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 I was going to say that I would totally go, then I realized that next year it will be our 10 year anniversary and we will also have a 11-12 month old who will likely be coming along to our anniversary get-a-way ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gentlemommy Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 I would not. I totally understand needing to get away, and needing to be a couple agin tho.:grouphug: For me, the deal breakers would be-she is SO young, I wouldn't risk her weaning t 12 months. The other thing is that on a cruise, if anything were to happen, you'd be stuck. This is not so much just for nursing, but for anything that happened. And lastly, *I'd* be miserable and anxious. And it wouldn't be fun feeling that way, and my attention wouldn't be on my dh at all. :001_huh: Would you be open to staying the night somewhere local? Or even a few nights, if grandma would be willing to bring baby to you a few times to nurse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 Well, I didn't feed formula and nursed till almost 3 and almost 5 with my kids. I gave Avent Bottles to them from when they were little... just like the ads, I could switch back and forth whenever ;) Have someone try out an Avent bottle when your little one is hungry but not starved and see if it would work. I always had a couple or more days of milk stored in my freezer. If you start now... I think it'd work. I also fed a little rice milk when I wanted some extra milk ;) I also had a few times when I had 3-5 days of not nursing and then just started up when I came back. Depends on how much your baby loves to nurse. Mine would have kept going till college ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
breadnbutter Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 OP, I know where you are so I'll chime in with what I would do... I've also nursed my babies through toddlerhood. They weren't ready to stay overnight til 2 or even 3. DH and I are celebrating 15 yrs this year too, and I knew that we wanted to do something special, and I knew that my littlest would be 2 and old enough to be away for a day or two! So exciting! For me, it's not just about being away, or alone, that makes it refreshing, but knowing my kids are OK. I'm very fortunate that my kids stay at Grandma and Grandpa's, so if we leave them there, it's awesome to be able to sleep in a house of peace and quiet!! However, what makes my time peaceful is knowing they're in good hands- my kids LOVE their time with their grandparents- and I know they're enjoying themselves. So for me, I'd have to know that my baby would be safe and happy. Also, I wouldn't take a cruise or go somewhere that I couldn't get home quickly if there were an emergency. I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to be that far from my kids even if they weren't nursing! My 2yo is still nursing but only nurses twice a day, and we've only left him for 24 hrs. at a time. Again, I know he'd be fine if we had to leave him for 2, 3, maybe 4 days. but i'm not sure if I'm ready for anything beyond that. So only you know how he'd do. Like others said, you do risk him not wanting to nurse when you return, if that's okay with you. And yes, if you're nursing full-time, you will have to plan to make time to pump. Esp. if you want to resume nursing full-time, you'll need to pump as often as he would nurse. At the very least, enough to feel comfortable and not get a bout of mastitis. But I also understand the need to have time- not just a dinner- but uninterrupted time where you can really feel you're off the clock. But maybe it's just a matter of time. Maybe do a shorter one day trip and plan the big trip for later in the year. Like someone else said, you can make the first trip a shorter practice trip, and then when you go away longer you can be confident that it will go smoothly. HTH- and enjoy your anniversary however you celebrate it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 Personally, I wouldn't but that is your choice. I would however accept that the baby may or may not come back to nursing and it very likely will be very uncomfortable while your gone. I think a trial run as a pp suggested would be a good idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mississippi Mama Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 All of you are so helpful! I would have responded sooner , but the Internet was down:( It's funny how this has panned out this weekend. DH and I have decided we need to use some extra money we have for another project. So a cruise is out! But I'm not disappointed! You all reminded me that some negative things between dd could happen and too, I am the type that I would not have fun if I knew dd and babysitter were having a hard time. PLUS I don't want to pump! Did enough of that years ago. So, as my dh pointed out, I like to plan so I need to plan a trip for several months out and that should excite me. Then I'll take all of these other ideas you all threw out....a dinner date, one night out, or a trial run. Thank you all!!!!! At least I did take a bubble bath tonight ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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