Abbeygurl4 Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 are giving condoms to 12 year olds?? I don't even know what to say about this! It's just sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Don't know if it's true and I don't agree it but sadly there are kids that age having sex. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Whether we like it or not that is the way our society is going. I really hope that by homeschooling dd that I can instill different values in her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 (edited) Right at this very moment I"m sitting in my office in Hartford, CT, which is a mere 1/2 hour directly south of Springfield, MA. Hartford has a crippling number of teen parents, which goes hand in hand with Hartford's other urban issues of poverty, neglect, abuse, drugs, violence, a broken educational system and a wide array of more specific problems. Springfield is not much different than Hartford, unfortunately. Part of my job is to try to find solutions to the teen dropout rate and counsel teen mothers about why completing their education is imperative to breaking the cycle of poverty in which they're stuck. I supervise adult education programs around the state that help these parents complete a high school diploma and thus boost their earning power. The very young parents I see are so woefully ill-equipped to provide for their own basic needs, let alone those of their children. Had these pregnancies been prevented from the beginning, the lives of many of them would have been vastly different. It's depressing to say the least here on the front lines of teen pregnancy and staggeringly high dropout rates, but we soldier on. All this is to say that if they are having sex, they need condoms. Whether I feel that 12 year olds should be engaging in that behavior is beside the point, IMHO. But if you're going to go skydiving, pack a parachute. astrid Edited March 19, 2012 by astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 My heart hurts for these children who've been conditioned by society to see this as normal behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSNative Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Right at this very moment I"m sitting in my office in Hartford, CT, which is a mere 1/2 hour directly south of Springfield, MA. Hartford has a crippling number of teen parents, which goes hand in hand with Hartford's other urban issues of poverty, neglect, abuse, drugs, violence, a broken educational system and a wide array of more specific problems. Springfield is not much different than Hartford, unfortunately. Part of my job is to try to find solutions to the teen dropout rate and counsel teen mothers about why completing their education is imperative to breaking the cycle of poverty in which they're stuck. I supervise adult education programs around the state that help these parents complete a high school diploma and thus boost their earning power. The very young parents I see are so woefully ill-equipped to provide for their own basic needs, let alone those of their children. Had these pregnancies been prevented from the beginning, the lives of many of them would have been vastly different. It's depressing to say the least here on the front lines of teen pregnancy and staggeringly high dropout rates, but we soldier on. All this is to say that if they are having sex, they need condoms. Whether I feel that 12 year olds should be engaging in that behavior is beside the point, IMHO. But if you're going to go skydiving, pack a parachute. astrid Except that the parachute doesn't always work. For various reasons, condoms have a 12-15% failure rate. With perfect use, that rate drops to 2-3%. I just don't think 12 year olds are going to use it correctly and each and every time. Unfortunately, I think providing them, especially in schools, sends a message that they can engage in this act without consequences as long as they have a condom. In reality, they are playing a sort of Russian roulette. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 My heart hurts for these children who've been conditioned by society to see this as normal behavior. But in many of their cultures, very young pregnancy IS normal behavior. Inner city Hispanic culture is not my culture, so it's hard for me to understand, but nonetheless, it IS the frame of reference/norm for many teen parents. astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Except that the parachute doesn't always work. For various reasons, condoms have a 12-15% failure rate. With perfect use, that rate drops to 2-3%. I just don't think 12 year olds are going to use it correctly and each and every time. Unfortunately, I think providing them, especially in schools, sends a message that they can engage in this act without consequences as long as they have a condom. In reality, they are playing a sort of Russian roulette. They are engaging in this act regardless of whether it's sanctioned by their middle school. 85-87% success is better than 50% or less. astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 But in many of their cultures, very young pregnancy IS normal behavior. Inner city Hispanic culture is not my culture, so it's hard for me to understand, but nonetheless, it IS the frame of reference/norm for many teen parents. astrid I have to wonder if these very young girls are having s%x with very young boys or older boys/men. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leav97 Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Except that the parachute doesn't always work. For various reasons, condoms have a 12-15% failure rate. With perfect use, that rate drops to 2-3%. I just don't think 12 year olds are going to use it correctly and each and every time. Unfortunately, I think providing them, especially in schools, sends a message that they can engage in this act without consequences as long as they have a condom. In reality, they are playing a sort of Russian roulette. And what are the odds of a pregnancy or STDs without a condom? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I have to wonder if these very young girls are having s%x with very young boys or older boys/men. Primarily from what I see, the sperm donors are older boys, young men. There are a variety of reasons for this, but one scenario I've seen is that the girl's mom pimped her out in exchange for drugs. In other words, if you give me a hit of heroine I'll let you have sex with my 12 year old daughter. Sick, yes, but reality, unfortunately. There's so much more to this than just sex. Most of the girls I work with very much regret having sex, but felt pressured into it by many different forces. And again, I can only speak about the population I serve a half-hour south in Hartford, but Hartford and Springfield are strikingly similar. astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancer67 Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Sadly this is true. I have relatives whose kids go to Springfield Schools. The whole thing just disgusts me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I think it is tragic that kids are having sex at that age. But, I never hear of schools where kids are NOT having sex, they start giving out condoms, and then they start having sex. I hear of schools with high teen sex/pregnancy rates that THEN start giving out condoms. At that point the culture is already there, at least give them the condoms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Right at this very moment I"m sitting in my office in Hartford, CT, which is a mere 1/2 hour directly south of Springfield, MA. Hartford has a crippling number of teen parents, which goes hand in hand with Hartford's other urban issues of poverty, neglect, abuse, drugs, violence, a broken educational system and a wide array of more specific problems. Springfield is not much different than Hartford, unfortunately. Part of my job is to try to find solutions to the teen dropout rate and counsel teen mothers about why completing their education is imperative to breaking the cycle of poverty in which they're stuck. I supervise adult education programs around the state that help these parents complete a high school diploma and thus boost their earning power. The very young parents I see are so woefully ill-equipped to provide for their own basic needs, let alone those of their children. Had these pregnancies been prevented from the beginning, the lives of many of them would have been vastly different. It's depressing to say the least here on the front lines of teen pregnancy and staggeringly high dropout rates, but we soldier on. All this is to say that if they are having sex, they need condoms. Whether I feel that 12 year olds should be engaging in that behavior is beside the point, IMHO. But if you're going to go skydiving, pack a parachute. astrid :grouphug: I get so overwhelmed with the work to do in those situations. I guess the condoms are staunching the slashed artery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ailaena Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 All this is to say that if they are having sex, they need condoms. Whether I feel that 12 year olds should be engaging in that behavior is beside the point, IMHO. But if you're going to go skydiving, pack a parachute. astrid They are engaging in this act regardless of whether it's sanctioned by their middle school. 85-87% success is better than 50% or less. astrid This, this, this, this, THIS. Teenagers have been having sex since way before movies/television/radio have existed. They know what it is before you hand them a condom. At least this way, you can try and help them safely arrive at adulthood before having a child. Even children from the most conservative families can make a choice to engage in risky behavior, why not teach them how to keep themselves safe? Show me the research that concludes that sexual activity has risen due to accessibility to birth control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Teenagers have been having sex since way before movies/television/radio have existed. They know what it is before you hand them a condom. At least this way, you can try and help them safely arrive at adulthood before having a child. Even children from the most conservative families can make a choice to engage in risky behavior, why not teach them how to keep themselves safe? YES. A thousand times, YES. astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSNative Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Yes, I do get that rates of pregnancy and STD are higher without condoms. However, when I was in school (and now reading the info that our local school distributes) the message was pretty clear: condoms = safe sex. Safe sex meaning no pregnancy or STD. That just is not the case. If schools are going to be handing out condoms, I would hope they are at least giving out accurate info along with it. From what I've seen - a limited sample - that is not the case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Yes, I do get that rates of pregnancy and STD are higher without condoms. However, when I was in school (and now reading the info that our local school distributes) the message was pretty clear: condoms = safe sex. Safe sex meaning no pregnancy or STD. That just is not the case. If schools are going to be handing out condoms, I would hope they are at least giving out accurate info along with it. From what I've seen - a limited sample - that is not the case. :iagree: I was one of those middle school and high school kids having sex. I remember getting the message that condoms equal "safe" sex in school very clearly. If you used them, you would not get pregnant, get STDs, and be save from AIDS. I still never used them. I remember not caring at the moment. In my case, I was looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places because I wasn't getting it at home. The problem is huge and likely unsolvable. But the answer lies earlier and within the families. Kids coming from healthy families are less likely to engage in this kind of behavior. We need healthy parents who are home and involved with their kids in positive ways. We need parents who encourage, support, and love their kids. We need to stop verbal, physical, and sexual abuse. But I fear the ways our society might come up with to curtail these issues "for everyone's good". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Yes, I do get that rates of pregnancy and STD are higher without condoms. However, when I was in school (and now reading the info that our local school distributes) the message was pretty clear: condoms = safe sex. Safe sex meaning no pregnancy or STD. That just is not the case. If schools are going to be handing out condoms, I would hope they are at least giving out accurate info along with it. From what I've seen - a limited sample - that is not the case. When I had sex ed, the concept of safER sex was made very, very clear. I have never heard (firsthand) any adult claim that anything other than abstinence could completely prevent STDs or pregnancy. (Obviously excluding rape.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 A lot of teenage girls want to get pregnant or want a window of risk to get pregnant (because then the boy will love them/ get rid of the other girl/ she'll have something to love/ etc.). But if they want condoms and are too afraid to buy them themselves, it's probably good the school offers them. The world isn't a perfect place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 There is so much more to this issue then the schools handing out condoms. Premarital sex will always happen-with or without condoms. The rate it is happening, imo, is because families are failing their children. I am sure a lot of people want to blame the schools for the problem but it is not the fault of the schools. There is something very broken in our society. My personal opinion is that I would rather see schools handing out condoms to prevent pregnancy than opening up nurseries so the pregnant teens can at least graduate from high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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