NotAVampireLvr Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) I just got off the phone with my sister. She is the first one we have told on my side of the family about the HSng. I also had to tell her to keep it quiet until we talked to my parents about it. She was completely floored by the decision but then she started asking me questions about different things (seemed genuinely curious) she breathed a big sigh of relief and said "oh so he's not being challenged enough in school" in a tone that said "phew she has a reason to be doing this" and then she talked about how excited she was the my 7 y.o. might be gifted. Um... I never said that - is he bright? Yes, I believe he is - but he shouldn't have to be a whiz-kid to validate homeschooling. Why do I need a "legitimate" reason... why isn't "because we want to" enough? The public school system has not failed my child ... maybe he's not being challenged, but he's making the grade. He's had great teachers who do the best with the resources they have. Although we are conservative Christians, this really didn't play much into our decision at all. I just want our kids home with us and let them explore and learn at their own pace. How do you deal with this on a day to day basis? ...off to go dig out some bean dip. Edited February 1, 2012 by NotAVampireLvr Grammar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leav97 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Because if you have a good enough reason it lets them off the hook for not homeschooling their child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlbuchina Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Thank you. I have wanted to home school my children even before I had them. I didn't want to have to send them away; I wanted them with me. I wanted them to have a better education than me. I didn't want them to go through the horror that was school for me.:tongue_smilie: As I was learning more about home schooling, and getting into groups with people at church that home schooled, I learned that it was supposed to be a "calling". They talked a lot about being called. I didn't relate, as I had always wanted to home school. I had a lot of reasons, and none of them had anything to do with feeling like I was called to it. So, while others may need a reason for you to home school, I say, nope. You can do it if it is just something you want to do.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) Well, obviously you don't NEED a reason, but any time you do something that's not the "default," (which PS is) people are going to wonder why, especially if it's something they're not too familiar with. You do have reasons for hs'ing, it's just that either you didn't explain them super clearly or your sister just can't really relate and understand. I get that--I don't really like putting into words for people why we homeschool, because it never seems to come out quite right. It's a much more nuanced thought process than I can easily put into words, especially within the confines of a short conversation. Choosing to homeschool was and is a very organic process for us, and it's hard to get that point across. People end up piicking up on the bits and pieces they can relate to, simply because they've never done much thinking/reading/talking about homeschooling. They generally can't relate much unless they've chewed on it a bit for themselves. Edited February 1, 2012 by Kirch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I find that pretty much everyone who lives outside of CA and finds out we HS takes an "of course you do, everyone knows that the PS in CA are horrible" attitude and is reasonably accepting of the choice (even if they might feel that private school attendance would be preferable). Ditto for the people we know here who have their kids/grandkids in private school. Where I run into a lot of defensiveness is with people who have their kids in PS, especially if their kids are in our zoned school. It's like my decision to HS is a direct criticism of their schooling decision. I find that I have to explain that we started HS when we lived in another town and it was working well for our family so we continued when we moved here. That really shouldn't be necessary to do, but it helps ease the tension. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Everyone has a reason. Preferring homeschool just because is still a reason. :001_smile: I have started saying "It is what works best for our family" and leaving it at that. No negotiation. No explanations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Because if you have a good enough reason it lets them off the hook for not homeschooling their child. But, having a "reason" to homeschool does help break the ice with schooling families so it's not a bad idea to have a nice, non-threatening one thought out in advance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 But doesn't everyone have a reason? There even has to be a reason for, "Because I want to." If you want to, there must be some reason or motivation behind it. It's not anyone's business why you chose to homeschool, but you must have some sort of internal or external motivation for making that decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) I think it's fine for someone as close as a sister to ask, "Ok, I know you want to. Why do you want to?" I wouldn't find that a problem. She seems pleased that your child is so bright and will get to benefit from hsing. Your sister (I assume) is not a cranky old guy at the library questioning why your kid is wandering around the library when 'she's supposed to be in school." I've never considered "Because I want to" much of an answer. :D There must be a way to repectfully articulate desire, espeically for a close family member, who, it is assumed, cares about your life and doings. However, I would draw a line in the sand with her if she were out to pick a fight. Edited February 1, 2012 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akmommy Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I used the "because it's what's best for our family right now" reason when asked. My number one reason was that I liked being with my kids and wasn't ready to send them away for seven plus hours a day. I didn't put it that way though because I didn't want to make others feel bad for their choice to send their kids to school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotAVampireLvr Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) I do have a long laundry list of reasons that I want to homeschool, but none of them serious enough that it would validate homeschooling our children. "Because it works for our family" isn't going to fly with my family. I need to remember that I am a grown-up... its also helpful that my husband is backing me up on this. Oddly enough, his mother - a public school teacher is way more supportive of me doing this then my family will be. (they gave me a hard time way back when we were deciding to send DS1 to prek or not) She has more faith in me then they do. A lot of that is that they believe I need to hold a degree to adequately homeschool my children. The "sins" of my past are not in the past for them I guess. DS1 being able to work a grade level higher seems like a cop-out to me... and I have friends that will resent that too. Sigh - its really a no-win situation... its frustrating having to have a different formulated answer for every person I talk to. Edited February 1, 2012 by NotAVampireLvr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyinND Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I love how she was so relieved that you were homeschooling because he wasn't being challenged enough in ps:lol: So relieved that you were homeschooling for a 'normal' reason & not turning into some wierdo homeschooler... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kesmom Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I have very similar feelings - we homeschool because we can. Of course, the bright oldest child makes for a nice reason my mom can give her friends. ;) I wasn't against the local school either. I'm pretty happy with it as an option if we couldn't hs in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotAVampireLvr Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 I love how she was so relieved that you were homeschooling because he wasn't being challenged enough in ps:lol: So relieved that you were homeschooling for a 'normal' reason & not turning into some wierdo homeschooler... absolutely... of course she already has confronted me about being in a cult since I attend a baptist church instead of remaining a practicing catholic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I know that my PS friends are the ones who seem most likely to comment on how advanced DD is when I mention that we homeschool (like say, while waiting at the dance studio). And I really think it IS feeling slightly guilty-that "I'd homeschool if I needed to, but I don't need to" as opposed to "I don't want to homeschool"-which is also perfectly fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotAVampireLvr Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) I have very similar feelings - we homeschool because we can. Of course, the bright oldest child makes for a nice reason my mom can give her friends. ;) I wasn't against the local school either. I'm pretty happy with it as an option if we couldn't hs in the future. Honestly my big thing with the "bright" oldest child is that as my other kids grow older I really don't want them to be aware of that... My daughter has the personality where things roll off her back, but I could really see that affecting DS2's self-esteem. Maybe I'm not giving him enough credit. He's only four though and it wasn't until DS1 was in kindergarten that we realized he was really great at math. I have met children that are truly "gifted" though and honestly I don't think this is the case with any of my kids. Edited February 1, 2012 by NotAVampireLvr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 You are always going to have to explain to curious people when your choices are outside the norm. I had to explain about hs'ing, but I also had to explain about homebirthing instead of hospital. I find that it's usually ok to share my reasons with people who are genuinely curious. If they press beyond that, then pass the bean dip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 "We homeschool because we want to travel with dh" doesn't count as a valid reason for many of our family and friends. But that's why we chose to start schooling at home. Dh's peak work season is the summer so our vacation options were limited while ds was in ps. I've found myself listing a whole host of justifications to cover for our real reason: so we can be together as a family. Thanks for saying so well why it bothers me that I must validate our choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyinND Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 absolutely... of course she already has confronted me about being in a cult since I attend a baptist church instead of remaining a practicing catholic. AAANNNDDD Homeschooling is further proof that you are, in fact, in a cult as you are trying to further isolate yourself...:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotAVampireLvr Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 AAANNNDDD Homeschooling is further proof that you are, in fact, in a cult as you are trying to further isolate yourself...:D and if "up North" means you live in New England - then you must know that to be a lapsed Catholic in this part of the country is a straight trip to hell - especially if your brother is a Catholic priest. Oddly enough though - he's the most supportive of our religious choices. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) and if "up North" means you live in New England - then you must know that to be a lapsed Catholic in this part of the country is a straight trip to hell - especially if your brother is a Catholic priest. Oddly enough though - he's the most supportive of our religious choices. :p I think it's very often the other way around. The Catholics turned Protestant here are very worried about the Mary Worship, which is the straight ticket to hell. lol Edited February 1, 2012 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotAVampireLvr Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 I think it's very often the other way around. The Catholics turned Protestant here are very worried about the Mary Worship, which is the straight ticket to hell. lol hmmm at the risk of going completely off topic ... I went from very conservative catholic to very conservative protestant and although I don't agree with the catholic beliefs on Mary anymore, I still do understand them... I do know many saved catholics. I'm probably in the minority though. My very conservative christian friends don't always see eye to eye with me on that... I don't know many protestants converted from catholicism though. One of my closest friends is catholic and she was actually jealous of my church ... she loves the idea of going to a baptist church because of all the fellowship - but could never leave the sacraments or the idea of Mary behind... I do get where you are coming from with your statement... of course now I've just talked myself silly in circles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Because homeschooling is abnormal. Duh. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splinter Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I still feel awkward about not having a specific reason to homeschool, I'm not sure why. I do have a reason to homeschool my 5 year old: he wasn't ready for public kindergarten (December birthday) and I didn't want to hold him back a year. When I decided to do that, my 9 year old asked if he could be homeschooled too. He didn't mind school, but found it a bit too easy and realized that he could do that amount of work in an hour or two per day. It's worked out great for us, but I still don't really know what to say when people ask "why" he's homeschooled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 "Because we want to" is absolutely a legitimate reason. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForeverFamily Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 "Because we want to" is absolutely a legitimate reason. :D :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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