10 month old niece: not sitting or crawling yet, "frog legs"

[Mergath]

What???!!! Early Intervention is *only* for kids through 3 years old! Then they're usually handed over to the PS for services. It's specifically for kids too young to go to school - so how in heavens name could they make that argument. :confused::confused: Then there wouldn't be any kid who qualified for services...

 

Yeah, I've often wondered if the person who told me that was high at the time.

[Whereneverever]

Like I said, I have a hard time getting my mind around this. I really do.

 

It stinks but it happens. I had one of my dds medical condition dismissed by doctors in two states until she got so bad she nearly died. Then they were ready to refer her. :glare:

[kitten18]

That's an important point that your MIL can bring up. Early Intervention (also known as Part C) is free and does not require a doctor's referral for an evaluation. California also has other state services for children in need (CCS, Regional Centers, IHSS and MediCal waiver to name a few).

:iagree: When I wanted my DS evaluated for a speech delay, I went straight to the county, I didn't even bring it up to the Dr.

[gardenmom5]

I have 4 kids and they've had 4 pediatricians in three different states. IME, pediatricians check milestones at every visit. They do not just ask. They want to *see.* I have trouble believing a pediatrician would just smile and nod at a 10 month old who cannot sit up.

 

I had multiple ped with dudeling in a three year period. they didn't check, they just asked. when I did express concerns, they ALL brushed it off.

[gardenmom5]

. I recently wrote that doctor a letter and told him about my daughter's diagnosis and reminded him of his brushing off concerns. I stressed the importance of listening to parental instincts. I'm sure it went in one ear and out another, but I didn't want it to happen to another family.

 

I have a dear friend whose adult daughter was suffering extreme behavior changes, and unknown to the mother, severe headaches. her daughter was seeing a psychiatrist, who at mention of the headaches, very sarcastically mocked her with "you think you have a brain tumor?" but NEVER did a physical neurological exam. just treated her for the extreme personality changes for two years. (and told her her parents were her problem and to stay away from them.) Only when after one ER visit, the STATE was attempting to commit her to a psychiatric hospital and she was evaluated by a different Dr (who noted the neurological flags at his fisrt visit with her), was it eventually determined, yes, she had an enormous brain tumor. At that point, the surgeons told the parents she had a 50/50 chance of surviving surgery, and 100% chance of dying in months without it.

 

after it was all over, the daughter (who survived and was her old self again) wanted to leave that same sarcastic message on the idiots machine. "yes, I had a brain tumor".

Edited December 28, 2011 by gardenmom5

[Whereneverever]

I have a dear friend whose adult daughter was suffering extreme behavior changes, and unknown to the mother, severe headaches. her daughter was seeing a psychiatrist, who at mention of the headaches, very sarcastically mocked her with "you think you have a brain tumor?" but NEVER did a physical neurological exam. just treated her for the extreme personality changes for two years. (and told her her parents were her problem and to stay away from them.) Only when after one ER visit, the STATE was attempting to commit her to a psychiatric hospital and she was evaluated by a different Dr (who noted the neurological flags at his fisrt visit with her), was it eventually determined, yes, she had an enormous brain tumor. At that point, the surgeons told the parents she had a 50/50 chance of surviving surgery, and 100% chance of dying in months without it.

 

after it was all over, the daughter (who survived and was her old self again) wanted to leave that same sarcastic message on the idiots machine. "yes, I had a brain tumor".

 

:blink::blink::blink::blink:

 

I'm glad she's ok!

[Trish]

It sounds like the parents are accommodating the baby's weakness rather than acknowledging that there may be a problem. Google SMA.

 

I truly hope it is something not serious, but it sounds like something. A doctor should be the one to investigate further, and it sounds like the current pediatrician isn't nearly concerned enough!

[Julie in CA]

There "was something wrong" with my oldest that we didn't really know about till she was 3. A Sunday School teacher said something one week and I just about tore her head off. The next week, another teacher said the same thing, same reaction on my part. The third week yet another teacher said something and I finally said "Okay God, you're obviously trying to tell me something."

I hope you don't mind if I ask a question about this...

WHY was your reaction angry? I've always wondered why people respond that way rather than with concern, but it's a hard thing to ask the folks who do that. :001_smile:

[AdventureMoms]

I have 4 kids and they've had 4 pediatricians in three different states. IME, pediatricians check milestones at every visit. They do not just ask. They want to *see.* I have trouble believing a pediatrician would just smile and nod at a 10 month old who cannot sit up.

 

If my kids' pediatricians wanted to SEE every milestone all my kids would be HUGELY delayed, I think! My eldest was terrified of strangers and did nothing but lean against me and hide her face for most ped visits. My sons are less scared, but still, even a baby who can roll over won't alway do it "on demand", kwim?

 

I've also had several pediatricians at this point, and have never had one need to *see* any milestone. If I say baby can sit, that's fine. Also, my twins were not sitting at 10 months, and the ped was fine with it, since they were doing tons of other stuff (pulling up, crawling, pincer grasp, climbing the furniture, etc). But not sitting at 10months with otherwise good milestones was not enough for her to feel that something must be done. This same doctor is now talking about referring us for speech if they don't have any real words by their next visit (at 15mo). I think that is overkill (they babble, they have great receptive language, and they "talk" to each other) but she's clearly not *that* laid back on milestones.

 

That said, this baby clearly has more serious issues, and I'd be aggressively pursuing some kind of help if it were my kid. I'd definitely try to gently mention it to a mama who might not be aware.

 

FWIW, my twins did learn to sit. At 11mo. At 13mo they are now learning to walk.

[unsinkable]

It would be an awful lot to bear, telling your family during a visit.

 

MIL said that baby's mom shared an email tonight from a friend who said her oldest child was delayed in everything, but eventually caught up. Mom is definitely worried. How can she not be.

 

I agree that if something is not shared out loud, it can make a problem seen unreal. I am sure she is scared.

 

I wish I could talk to her in depth. I know she would confide in me. She told MIL that she loved getting to know me and felt a connection. Sigh. I want to be there for her.

 

could you call her? Maybe your MIL could email her first and then you could follow up with a phone call?

 

:grouphug: Best wishes. You'll all be in my prayers!

[BigMamaBird]

I hope you don't mind if I ask a question about this...

WHY was your reaction angry? I've always wondered why people respond that way rather than with concern, but it's a hard thing to ask the folks who do that. :001_smile:

 

No problem.

 

She was my first and I really had no idea what was considered "normal" for a baby, I just hadn't been around them that much. So her behavior seemed fine to me. When very well meaning and loving folks tried to point out that something was off, I took it as a criticism of my parenting. To me it sounded like "Oh look at the young, inexperienced Mom. She's so clueless, she has no idea something's wrong. If she were a better Mother she would have seen this by now!" Of course, that's not at all how they meant it, those were MY hang ups. But when you're facing a huge, looming, physical issue with your precious baby, it's overwhelming and your emotions are all whacked out and the slightest thing freaks you out.

 

And, she was my precious, perfect baby. I didn't want to imagine that anything could be wrong with her. That only happened to other people. It was hard to face that something was wrong. Looking back, I see that it was a blessing that it was caught so early and now, three years later, she's living a completely "normal" life because the issue was caught. Still, it's hard to admit.

 

So, pretty much the anger I felt was a protective reaction to all the fear, uncertainty and self-doubt I was feeling. It was easier, at first, to just be angry, rather than deal with the actual problem.

[Julie in CA]

No problem.

 

She was my first and I really had no idea what was considered "normal" for a baby, I just hadn't been around them that much. So her behavior seemed fine to me. When very well meaning and loving folks tried to point out that something was off, I took it as a criticism of my parenting. To me it sounded like "Oh look at the young, inexperienced Mom. She's so clueless, she has no idea something's wrong. If she were a better Mother she would have seen this by now!" Of course, that's not at all how they meant it, those were MY hang ups. But when you're facing a huge, looming, physical issue with your precious baby, it's overwhelming and your emotions are all whacked out and the slightest thing freaks you out.

 

And, she was my precious, perfect baby. I didn't want to imagine that anything could be wrong with her. That only happened to other people. It was hard to face that something was wrong. Looking back, I see that it was a blessing that it was caught so early and now, three years later, she's living a completely "normal" life because the issue was caught. Still, it's hard to admit.

 

So, pretty much the anger I felt was a protective reaction to all the fear, uncertainty and self-doubt I was feeling. It was easier, at first, to just be angry, rather than deal with the actual problem.

Thanks for that perspective. I'll think about what you've said. I have a special needs kid, and it just never crossed my mind to be angry.

 

It reminds me a bit of my sister-in-law. She had a c-section with her 4th baby, and had her tubes tied at the same time. She was horribly upset when she came around afterwards and realized that her baby had Down Syndrome, and she'd just had her tubes tied. I did NOT understand, and though I didn't say anything, I was offended on her new baby's behalf that because he wasn't just what she expected, now she would have wanted another baby after all. I'd like to say that I just didn't understand because I was so young, but honestly, I still struggle with understanding other people's anger responses in those situations. Maybe it's because I'm a bit of a pesssimist (I think of it as being a realist though ;)) and I never expected to have a perfect baby/kid. They're like snowflakes, 'ya know? :D All of us come fully equipped with flaws, whether mental or physical.

 

Anyway, thank you for letting me ask, and for giving me some food for thought. :001_smile:

[AimeeM]

nm

[Donna]

I'm having real trouble getting my mind around this one. How can anyone not realize that a 10 month old should be able to sit unassisted (at least!)? I honestly and truly thought they must know something is up... and I honestly and truly assumed they may have already taken steps and just didn't feel ready to share their experiences/knowledge yet.

 

Is it possible that regular, average parents wouldn't notice that a 10 month old who sits in a baby seat for 7 hours and cannot sit up alone is delayed??? (I won't list the things my kids, their cousins, and my friends' kids were doing at this age, b/c it's not about what other kids are doing, but all those other kids are my only measuring stick and I am in SHOCK that anyone would think this 10 month old's described behaviors are anything like typical.)

 

I know a lot of parents who have not realized that their child was delayed or maybe knew their child was delayed but didn't realize exactly how delayed. Maybe they didn't grow up around children so don't know what a child should be doing at whatever age or maybe they are told by laid back pediatricians that every child develops at a different rate so wait and see for a few months...many with boys are told this about talking. Also, some parents may have pediatricians who are telling them things aren't exactly right but they just aren't ready to hear it at the time...selective hearing and denial seem to happen until the parent is "ready" and able to mentally handle whatever it is.

 

With the families I have worked with, isn't that they are bad parents. In fact many are very loving parents who eventually take in a bit of the facts here and there, enjoy finding out how to help their little one, and become good advocates for their children. They just do it in their own time.

[lisabees]

UPDATE: Finally, at niece's 1 year check up yesterday, doc was very concerned!! Baby will go to many specialists in the upcoming weeks/months. Apparently, she has some hand flapping also, which is concerning. In addition to that, poor sweet baby spent the weekend in the hospital with a UTI and dehydration.

 

So sad for my bil and sil. Please keep them in your thoughts.

[Twigs]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[catz]

:grouphug: I'm sorry. Keep us posted!

[Mergath]

UPDATE: Finally, at niece's 1 year check up yesterday, doc was very concerned!! Baby will go to many specialists in the upcoming weeks/months. Apparently, she has some hand flapping also, which is concerning. In addition to that, poor sweet baby spent the weekend in the hospital with a UTI and dehydration.

 

So sad for my bil and sil. Please keep them in your thoughts.

 

Poor thing. I hope they get everything figured out.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

(Written without reading any previous replies.)

 

The developmental nurses (ds2 was born premature and had to be assessed a few times) told me that those seats that are suppose to encourage kids to stand don't actually developed the muscles but rather teach the kid to lock their joints to make them stay up. They strongly discouraged everyone not to use them.

 

My point in this is the chair probably isn't helping her.

 

I hope that helps.

[MistyMountain]

.

Edited October 11, 2015 by MistyMountain

[Catwoman]

UPDATE: Finally, at niece's 1 year check up yesterday, doc was very concerned!! Baby will go to many specialists in the upcoming weeks/months. Apparently, she has some hand flapping also, which is concerning. In addition to that, poor sweet baby spent the weekend in the hospital with a UTI and dehydration.

 

So sad for my bil and sil. Please keep them in your thoughts.

 

I'm so sorry that there is a problem, but I hope it's something that can be successfully treated. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[MistyMountain]

Oops didn't notice that this was an older post. Hopefully she get the help she needs. :grouphug: