Catwoman Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 I guess that should mean you would find it acceptable for a man to look into the ladies room before sending his daughter in, to make sure no deranged female is quietly hanging out in the bathroom?Or would THAT make him a creep? I'm sorry, but if a person of the opposite gender "poked a head in" to the bathroom to check it, that would be way more creepy to me than most of the other behaviors discussed here. I understand what you're saying, but I never check the men's room before I send in my kids. SKL was responding to previous posts about the single person bathrooms, so I don't think she meant that she poked her head into a rest room where other people might be present. She wanted to be sure the single person bathroom was empty before she sent her child into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 But if it's a single person bathroom, why wouldn't the kid just walk right back out and never make it through the door? That makes very little sense to me. But most of this thread makes no sense to me, as a person who isn't really suspicious of others and believes my kids are basically safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 Perhaps a 9-10, but I'd wonder if perhaps some mental incapacity may be at play there as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 After he left, he rode off on a bicycle. It did make me judge him more that he didn't drive away. I know SO who won't get a drivers license because it would require the SO stamp. A lot of how this situation made me feel is wrapped up in people I have known in the past, and the location of the library. Does anyone know if this is a common worldview? How many moms are suspicious of male bike riders? How many women think a license plate without a SO stamp assures the public that the driver of a vehicle is no threat to children? I'm having a down-the-rabbit-hole moment, here. In what universe have I found myself, where men on bikes are assumed to be pedophiles? My husband is a bicyclist. Why does he ride a bike? 1. To save on gas. 2. To stay physically fit. 3. To enjoy fresh air and outdoor exercise. 4. To avoid using the car, which is a disaster to the planet, just to travel someplace his own two legs can get him with no pollution 5. Because it is normal to walk or bike for transportation. At least it used to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outdoorsy Type Posted December 10, 2011 Author Share Posted December 10, 2011 :001_huh:Probably? Protecting the kids? Really if they are concerned or have a problem, they shouldn't call security. They should call the police. To suggest otherwise is ... Pointless and endangering. FAR more so than playing a game of chess with some guy. ETA: no one has suggested ignoring gut instinct or obvious questionable behavior. Simple math and facts are it is highly unlikely some guy wanting to play chess at the public library is a danger. Me too. :(I feel so horrible for today's young men. Security at that library is an armed officer. It's that way at both libraries I frequent. I have a feeling the librarian recognized the guy and that is why she responded by saying "oh, he is not allowed in here". She later also thanked me for asking if he came in with a child. If she had not responded the way she did, I might have just thought the situation was odd and left it alone. I had other things to do anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outdoorsy Type Posted December 10, 2011 Author Share Posted December 10, 2011 Does anyone know if this is a common worldview? How many moms are suspicious of male bike riders? How many women think a license plate without a SO stamp assures the public that the driver of a vehicle is no threat to children? I'm having a down-the-rabbit-hole moment, here. In what universe have I found myself, where men on bikes are assumed to be pedophiles? My husband is a bicyclist. Why does he ride a bike? 1. To save on gas. 2. To stay physically fit. 3. To enjoy fresh air and outdoor exercise. 4. To avoid using the car, which is a disaster to the planet, just to travel someplace his own two legs can get him with no pollution 5. Because it is normal to walk or bike for transportation. At least it used to be. No, you read me wrong and I am sorry. I do not assume people on bikes are pedophiles. What made me wonder was that the librarian responded the way she did. Trust me bikes are an extremely common method of transportation, and I would bike to my small town library if I weren't too scared of riding on the road. :tongue_smilie: So I apologize if I have made it seem that I am paranoid of men on bikes. That is not the case. I just know one person who uses that mode of transportation *because he is a registered SO*. It never should have been brought up on this thread. I need to be done with this thread, but I will do one thing for you guys before I go. Next time I go to that particular library I can ask about the rules and if there is a problem at that location. I mentioned there being a problem with SO but I was talking more about the general danger in that area (real) and coupling it with the other poster who worked at a library and had those rules for that reason. I promise I do not see everyone around me as trying to molest my children. They have a healthy amount of socializing with people of all ages when we are out and about. I am sorry if I have offended others or if I have made it seem otherwise. :( I have three boys of my own, and a husband and father. I understand how hard it is in this world. On the flip side, YES this is a sick world. There should be NO predators around. No one *should* have to worry. I wouldn't have worried as much if the librarian hadn't seemed to recognize him as a person that had been a problem in the past. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 Thanks for clarifying that, OutdoorsyType. The bicycle thing took me by surprise, so I'm glad that's not what you meant. Please update us on the library rules or if you find out any more about that particular man. Our library doesn't have a children's room. There's just a children's section that is entirely visible from the front desk. Still, I don't let my little ones out of arm's reach there, on the advice of our librarian. Ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 Security at that library is an armed officer. It's that way at both libraries I frequent. I have a feeling the librarian recognized the guy and that is why she responded by saying "oh, he is not allowed in here". She later also thanked me for asking if he came in with a child. If she had not responded the way she did, I might have just thought the situation was odd and left it alone. I had other things to do anyway. Was he security or a cop? Security can be armed. If that man is truly a known danger to children for whatever reason, I am actually really POd the librarian didn't call the police. What the heck? So he is a repeat problem and they just send him out to do it elsewhere? The attitudes and lack of reasoning in this thread (not all yours either, most are others i think) have me going back and forth from humor to horror. And mostly settling in very sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama2Many4 Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 I'd say he was probably harmless. It's not as though he was hanging out by the men restroom. As to him leaving the library completely, he was probably really embarrassed by the whole situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outdoorsy Type Posted December 10, 2011 Author Share Posted December 10, 2011 It is a uniformed police officer at both locations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outdoorsy Type Posted December 10, 2011 Author Share Posted December 10, 2011 The attitudes and lack of reasoning in this thread (not all yours either, most are others i think) have me going back and forth from humor to horror. And mostly settling in very sad. Sigh. :confused::(:sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outdoorsy Type Posted December 10, 2011 Author Share Posted December 10, 2011 Here is what I found about the library policy in writing: " Access to the children's section of the library is limited to minor children, adults accompanied by minor children and customers using materials that are not available at any other location in the library. Care takers may not leave children under the age of 11 unattended in any part of the library. Unattended means that the responsible person is not within sight of the child. (See PLS Policy on the Safety of Children.) " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 (edited) Our library has a public bulletin board right outside the chidlren's section. On that board are fun notices about craft fairs, school musicals, and movie screenings etc. They also post offical police mug shots of SOs with their offense. (Child, public nudity etc), so I can imagine one of our librarians putting two and two together and asking someone to leave. They could be breaking the law/their parole by being there. It's right to get involved in this case, although I would rather the librarian call the police. A blanket No Men Allowed is not OK with me. Some women simply not men near their children in public and/or forcing a library to make a rule about excluding them from certain areas is not OK with me. (Can a male teachers check out books from the children's section? Can my dh or 22 yr old son pick up ILL requests on an errand run? Do these guys really need a child chaperone?) I think you handled this whole thread well, OP. I don't know that I would not have allowed a chess match, especially since I was right there. For me, there is no knowable danger if I am with my child in such a situation. OTOH, I was not there, and so I don't know if anything would have sent up my neck hairs. Edited December 10, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Here is what I found about the library policy in writing: " Access to the children's section of the library is limited to minor children, adults accompanied by minor children and customers using materials that are not available at any other location in the library. Care takers may not leave children under the age of 11 unattended in any part of the library. Unattended means that the responsible person is not within sight of the child. (See PLS Policy on the Safety of Children.) " NO adults unaccompanied by children AND all children under the age of 11 not out of sight of parent. They must be very scared of SOs or of a law suit (or it is just easier to make more and more rules.) Of note, both the lone man and you were breaking the rules. Not a bash, just an "of note". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outdoorsy Type Posted December 11, 2011 Author Share Posted December 11, 2011 Yep. I caught it, too. ;) When I walked down the aisle, 10 feet away from DS I *was* breaking a rule I did not know existed. Next time I will know better, and it won't happen. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheApprentice Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Creepy. I vote 9. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Perhaps a 9-10, but I'd wonder if perhaps some mental incapacity may be at play there as well. I too wondered if the man in question was mentally retarded. My mentally retarded brother in law likes to play simple card and board games with children, and he rides a bike for transportation. He is over 60, so times have changed a lot in his life. He does not understand why he can no longer amble out his front door and play with neighborhood children anymore. It is irrelevant that he is a gentle soul with absolutely no history of impropriety. People are automatically suspicious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 NO adults unaccompanied by children AND all children under the age of 11 not out of sight of parent. They must be very scared of SOs or of a law suit (or it is just easier to make more and more rules.) Of note, both the lone man and you were breaking the rules. Not a bash, just an "of note". I occasionally read middle school level books when I want to research a topic without going into too much detail. I would be thrown out of the library you describe since my children are teens and young adults who no longer use children's section of library. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outdoorsy Type Posted December 11, 2011 Author Share Posted December 11, 2011 You wouldn't be thrown out if you were getting a book not located in other parts of the library. I read it to mean you can't go over there and hang out. I'm still going to go alone and pick out books for lesson plans because the books I need are not available in the general area of the library. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 NO adults unaccompanied by children AND all children under the age of 11 not out of sight of parent. They must be very scared of SOs or of a law suit (or it is just easier to make more and more rules.) Of note, both the lone man and you were breaking the rules. Not a bash, just an "of note". My thoughts as well. And really if the library is that much of a sicko magnet, then I would no longer patron it at all. To me this is vaguely similiar to my reaction to guns in schools. If the school is that scary a place - then it is no place for my kid at all. It just isn't a very friendly environment for patrons to me, so I'd likely not return. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 I'm sorry, but if a person of the opposite gender "poked a head in" to the bathroom to check it, that would be way more creepy to me than most of the other behaviors discussed here. I understand what you're saying, but I never check the men's room before I send in my kids. I only have daughters and they are 5 years old. If I had little boys and wasn't sure the place was safe, I'd have them use the ladies' or family restroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 What a stupid library rule. I would be violating it all the time. I go to the library and pick out taped books for my daughter (they like to put classics in with kids so I have to go there) and then I also pick out books to help the first grader I tutor. Many of my fellow tutors are retired men. They aren't tutoring because they are pervs since we tutor in the library in full view of the librarian, the kids who visit and other tutors and kids who are tutored. It is a true blessing that they tutor. These kids need all the tutoring they can get, unfortunately. No one gets to take a child out of the school. We don't even know where the kids live and most have such common names you couldn't find them. My girl;s last name is Smith. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outdoorsy Type Posted December 11, 2011 Author Share Posted December 11, 2011 What a stupid library rule. I would be violating it all the time. I go to the library and pick out taped books for my daughter (they like to put classics in with kids so I have to go there) and then I also pick out books to help the first grader I tutor. Many of my fellow tutors are retired men. They aren't tutoring because they are pervs since we tutor in the library in full view of the librarian, the kids who visit and other tutors and kids who are tutored. It is a true blessing that they tutor. These kids need all the tutoring they can get, unfortunately. No one gets to take a child out of the school. We don't even know where the kids live and most have such common names you couldn't find them. My girl;s last name is Smith. No, you would only be breaking the rule if you went to that area to play with the toy trains. You are allowed in the children's area to get books, and that is it. Teachers are welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissKNG Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 Um..."infinity and beyond" creepy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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