toys--how many is too many?

[caedmyn]

How do you decide how many toys to have for your kids? Is anyone a minimalist...and if so, what toys do you have?

 

DH wants to get rid of at least half our kids' toys. He says kids used to be happy with two or three toys each and our kids have more toys than he and his brother put together their entire childhood. I kind of wish they had fewer toys...but they have WAY less than their friends and they do play with everything they have (not all at once of course!) so I don't know what we would get rid of.

 

They have a few big toys (play kitchen, small table & chairs, doll stroller, doll bed, block cart, wooden castle, train table) and one medium size tub each of Lincoln Logs, legos, playdoh stuff, play food/kitchen stuff, doll stuff, Little People, and misc. toys (balls, tools). DS1 has a shoebox size tub of cars & trucks, half a dozen medium size cars and trucks, and half a dozen big trucks. We also have a shelf of art stuff. Does that sound like too many toys? We also have a wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling bookshelf full of books (half kids, half adults) with a shelf of kids' games & puzzles.

[Mommyof4ks]

Our rule of thumb is that we only keep what fits in our storage (two closets, the Lego bins, and the stuffy box in the playroom), and they must play with the toys. If a toy fits both of those categories, then it stays, if not it goes. When the kids were little the toys were bigger, so it seemed like they had more when they really didn't. Now the youngest is 6, the toys have gotten smaller, and they do have far more than they used to in the same space. We have gone 'minimalist' in many areas (clothes, shoes, Knicks knacks, and so on), but creative toys not so much.

[Guest]

Unfortunately, I think I lean toward the minimalist side of things. My MIL saved all of my dh's toys and for the most part, I go a bit crazy every time a new "bin" is pulled down from the attic. My son tends to take after me and stays pretty organized, but my daughter teaches me patience. If things can't be organized, then there is too much, imo. All their toys are categorized into bins, but they each have one drawer that is miscellaneous. (I have a not nice word for that drawer. ;)) Usually, I don't get rid of the bins' contents (unless they outgrow the toy or never play with the stuff), but I will go through that one drawer and throw stuff out quite often. I think my concern is more organization of what we have vs. being concerned about how much.

 

Bins my kids have:

DS-

Legos, playmobil, lincoln logs, cars, trains, building blocks

DD-

Petshop, Legos, Princess toys, trains, cars, My Little Pony, little animals

[shanvan]

How do you decide how many toys to have for your kids? Is anyone a minimalist...and if so, what toys do you have?

 

DH wants to get rid of at least half our kids' toys. He says kids used to be happy with two or three toys each and our kids have more toys than he and his brother put together their entire childhood. I kind of wish they had fewer toys...but they have WAY less than their friends and they do play with everything they have (not all at once of course!) so I don't know what we would get rid of.

 

They have a few big toys (play kitchen, small table & chairs, doll stroller, doll bed, block cart, wooden castle, train table) and one medium size tub each of Lincoln Logs, legos, playdoh stuff, play food/kitchen stuff, doll stuff, Little People, and misc. toys (balls, tools). DS1 has a shoebox size tub of cars & trucks, half a dozen medium size cars and trucks, and half a dozen big trucks. We also have a shelf of art stuff. Does that sound like too many toys? We also have a wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling bookshelf full of books (half kids, half adults) with a shelf of kids' games & puzzles.

 

I agree with your dh in theory, but I have trouble getting rid of things they still use. I wish I had started when they were younger setting a specific limit on the amount of toys. Now they have much more than you listed, so I don't think wha tyou have now is too much, but if you keep everything you have now and add to it during the holidays, birthdays, etc. maybe you'll end up with too much. To me it's too much once it becomes a major chore to purge and cleaning up the 'stuff' and finding places to store it becomes an issue.

 

I think when kids have too much it has an impact on their thinking in so many ways. Now that my kids are older, they have become good about donating items they no longer use. Discussing how much the items will bless others and thinking about whether or not it truly improves their lives helps them to see what they no longer need.

[Chris in VA]

We were overwhelmed with the amt of toys the kids had (when the boys were little). I couldn't part with them! I had trouble getting rid of stuffies because each had a personality and a name. :D Ds22 was clearly ready to let go, because he kept mentioning how his teacher (Montessori in 1st and 3rd) told them 10 toys is a good number. But I couldn't do it, and in retrospect, they really didn't have that much to begin with.

 

In your case, there's some overlap. Maybe getting rid of 2 trucks, 2 big trucks, extra play dishes (maybe there's a not-so-nice set?), a few games and any stuffies who aren't favorites? IDK. I like having options. :D

 

I also think it's hard with a span of ages--you want to save the toys the bigs outgrow so the littles can have a go at them, but you still want to get new stuff for the littles so everything isn't a hand-me-down.

[Desert Rat]

It doesn't sound like too much to me, but if you're feeling the stress of "too much" then it's time to weed out some. Maybe it's a case of organization. Are these under the bed bins? Can you make them fit into a small space or hide some in closets?

I have a 3-4 foot shelves with toys in my very large kitchen. Plus a bin of imaginext toys and a dressser of little games, arts and crafts, etc. My ds 8 has a bin of stuffed animals in his room, a big weapons bin (nerf, swords, etc.) and 3 bins under his bed-army/star wars guys, marble run, and a throw away toy bin that gets cleaned out a lot. Ds11 has a bin of bionicles in his room and a bin under his bed with all the lego/bionicle/k'nex instructions (I keep all of them).

Does that sound like too much? My boys are older. We sell things as they grow out of them. However, we are homeschoolers. We are home more than traditionally schooled kids. My boys play with their toys, especially the 8yo. He plays with every.single.toy. It's a little annoying, because it comes to a point where I say, "Ok, he hasn't played with that in a while. We should be good to go," he picks it up and spends all afternoon with it. :)

I guess I just know that this time in their lives is temporary. They won't play with any toys soon. I've earmarked the ones I'm saving for future generations-basically books and legos/bionicles. I'm willing to let me house look like a "kid house" as long as they are here.

Another idea that might be a good compromise, is getting a big tub or two and rotating toys. I used to do that when the boys were little. I'd take toys they weren't playing with and store them in the garage for awhile. Then I'd cycle them out. The kids were excited on "new toys" day. It also helps you decided if you can part with them. I do this regularly. I put a box of something out in the garage and pretend it's gone. If I don't miss it, it can go.

HTH

[rafiki]

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[ScoutTN]

We rotate toys and it helps keep things fresh for them and make less clutter which is easier for everyone! I switch out 3x a year. I use one large plastic tub with a lid and the dollhouse (large!) goes away during Christmas and in late Spring/early summer (birthday season here).

[Murphy101]

Too many here is when the toys can't ever seem to find a place other than the floor and on furniture. If they either don't care enough to put them up or notice they can't find them, it's too many.

 

We usually clean out after thanksgiving and sometime in the summer. We go through rooms and empty everything out and discard the broken and the loud and the just not wanted.

[Whereneverever]

In my house, if I'm asking if it's too many- it's too many. I only keep as many toys as can be nicely and EASILY put away.

 

If the kids are leaving things a mess, it's because the toy population has expanded and they can't get it put away easily... so they don't.

 

We cull them together- my kids love thinking of the other children who will get their old toys and love them like they used to. And I think it's taught them a healthy view of "stuff"- that it's nice and useful and fun- but not something to maintain an emotional attachment to.

[caedmyn]

I think one reason DH has issues with all their toys is because they don't get put away very well. I've been trying to limit the toys that can be out to ONE bin at a time, but I'm not very good at remembering to keep the toy closet locked (and making sure books and art stuff get put away BEFORE they can get anything else out) so it does get a little messy. And it's like pulling teeth to get them to pick up, even when it's just one small tub of toys. I've tried putting whatever toys they won't pick up away for a while, and even taking away the entire playroom (which has virtually all their toys in it) but it hasn't worked. The new rule is they can have five toys out at a time (not counting the big ones). So five little people, five items of doll clothing, five books, or whatever. The theory being that five toys isn't much clutter if it doesn't get picked up, and when they learn to pick those five toys up before getting more out they can start having more toys out at one time.

 

I don't really think they have too many toys even though it seems like a lot. It is all organized (when it's picked up anyway) and I do go through and purge toys regularly.

[mhornby56]

It doesn't really sound like you have a ton of toys to me. I'm not really a minimalist, but I am pretty picky about what toys come into our house. They seem to fall into a few categories:

 

Play kitchen/food/Bowls

Legos/Duplos

Playmobil

Blocks

Stuffed Animals

Doll/doll clothes

A small marble run set

I have a small tin of beloved misc. like a ball, wooden baby toys, a few pretty ponies, and few hot wheels, etc.

 

The stuffed animals and dolls each have a basket in my Ikea Expedit. If they don't fit into the basket then we purge some. My girls only have a couple dolls and a couple stuffed animals in their room. The rest of the toys are put away in my closet or up in the loft. They can ask to play with something and I'll get it down, then we put it away before we get out something else.

 

The girls spend most of their time looking at books and playing their own made up games without toys. They really like to play with the boxes that I get at Costco. We have a trampoline outside and we live on a farm, so they spend a lot of time outside when the weather is nice. They also love to play with toys, and I love the toys they have too. I think the key for us is keeping things put away and out of sight most of the time.

[Tigger]

Until January DS was an only and we've amassed quite a lot of toys - way too many, not only from us, but from grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends - everyone gave him toys and more toys.....we have a large play room so it's never really seemed like an issue, but honestly, it's way over the top!

 

Now with the baby, we have way too many pieces to keep track of and we're planning a major purge next week - yeah!

 

The only good thing - we haven't done any major purge before, we've just culled out broken things or things that lost pieces, so as crazy as it sounds, I have almost everything since DS was born, so I don't need to buy any baby toys or toddler toys or little boys toys....we just need to organize what we have and store them away to pull out as needed as the baby gets older! Then we'll keep out what older DS currently plays with and an assortment of age appropriate toys for the baby - anything else we're not going to keep is going to goodwill next Friday!

[mytwomonkeys]

Our rule of thumb is that we only keep what fits in our storage

 

same here. each child has a toy bin in their room. if it doesn't fit in it, they have too much and we purge.

[HeidiKC]

How timely! I am reading the book "Simplicity Parenting" and just finished the chapter on "Environment" where the author (psychologist, I believe) talks about MINIMAL TOYS, and getting rid of most of them and their visual clutter. He says that fewer toys help create calmer kids. The whole book is about how we have too much, too many activities, too much sensory overload, etc. His nickname in one town where he worked was "Dr. Trashbag", because he'd come in with a trashbag and help parents de-clutter! He also recommends keeping what toys are in their rooms in bins to help with the visual clutter.

 

He also talks about what toys are best to keep - those well-loved toys, the ones with the most staying power, the least annoying!, the beautiful ones, the ones with no broken parts, etc. It is an interesting book, and that was a particularly good chapter. It made me wish I'd read it before I had kids. If I could go back, I'd buy few (if any) of all those plastic toys with flashing lights and stuff. And more really nice wooden toys. And have fewer of all of them.

 

I don't think it sounds like too many toys that you have. What I do is keep a bunch of bins in the basement, and then swap them out every now and then. Or the kids can borrow a bin from the basement (they love this - sort of like going shopping), but have to return it when they are down playing with it. My bins stack neatly and each contains something like: dad's old lego trains, Zoob, wooden trains, marbleworks, Imaginext. So I don't have all the stuff all over their room.

 

I remember meeting an old man at the pharmacy last year while we were waiting for a prescription. One of my boys was with me playing with some sort of toy (probably Lego guys). The man commented about how amazing it was to see all the toys kids have now. I asked him what toys he had as a child. He was kind of surprised and maybe stumped and said, "none! Well, I probably had a ball to play with." Then when I questioned him a bit more he thought he might have had soem toy cars or something like that, but wasn't sure. WOW, I was amazed. I'm sure his memory might be different than how it actually was, but he obviously didn't have many toys at all and they didn't play a huge part in his life. I can't imagine my boys being old men and not remembering the PILES of Legos they play with for hours on end. I'm guessing this man and his friends made their own toys (guns, etc.!) out of sticks and that sort of thing. My grandparents lived on a farm, and our favorite thing to play with when we visited was dried corn!!! They had a big cannister of it and some play dishes. We'd pour it and sift through it for hours! Funny.

[Gentlemommy]

I have three dd's, 6, 3, and 1.

 

*They share a play kitchen with some wood food and dishes, and three wooden doll house type things (a house, a castle, and a fairy tree house), and an easel.

 

*They each have one baby and one stuffy.

 

*They each have 3 shoebox sized containers with small toys.

Dd1-pets shops, my little ponies, and accessories for the dollhouses.

Dd2-little princes dolls, wooden animals, and wooden blocks.

Dd3-an assortment of wooden rattle type toys, board books, and snap beads.

 

*Then they all have their riding/outdoor toys-bikes, trikes, scooters, a Rody horse, skates, and a small trampoline. These are stored in the garage, as is the easel.

 

*We also have a TON of books, games, craft supplies, and puzzles. Games, craft supplies, and puzzles are kept in the closet and are taken out with supervision, one at a time. Books are accessible, but we do have a three at a time rule as well.

 

I love love love having a very minimal toy stash. Even if every single toy is taken out, it takes me five minutes to put everything back in it's place. I used to have a lot more toys, but noticed that the girls didn't even play with them. Since getting rid of them, they've been more imaginative and actually playing nicely together. They would much rather play outside with sticks and leaves anyway.

[Kathleen in LV]

I think as a society, our kids (as well as adults) have too much stuff. I'm not criticizing any individuals on here or elsewhere, because I'm equally guilty. I'm constantly wishing we could lead a simpler life without so much stuff. And it's not about clutter, but about appreciating the things we have.

 

My mother "adopted" a child in Mexico. She recently sent him a couple of Matchbox cars. She received a letter back from him thanking her for the cars. He explained that he shares the cars with his siblings, but he supervises them very carefully because the cars are very special to him.

 

Contrast that to my son just throwing his many, many cars into a big bin without regard to whether they might break or get paint chipped each time.

 

Despite my efforts to constantly purge the toys no longer used (and he only gets new toys as gifts), we still have way more than one child needs. I don't think there's an easy answer. But I think it's hard to instill appreciation in our children when they have so many things. And society continues to tell them that they need more.

[Rosie_0801]

We are almost minimalists. We can't afford much in the way of toys, but we belong to a toy library so it doesn't matter. :)

 

Dd is getting a doll house for Christmas. We've bought the furniture, but made the house out of a book shelf. She also has a small box of dress ups (mostly normal clothes that suit the purpose, not specially bought stuff,) a small tub of Barbies and clothes (about half a dozen in various states of disability :rolleyes:,) a toy kitchen with some toy food and two other dolls.

 

Ds has a few trucks, some plastic blocks and will be getting wooden blocks for Christmas.

 

Our "school" stuff is mostly toys at this age too, of course. Maybe a dozen puzzles, some musical instruments and playdough toys.

 

I suppose in your situation I'd recommend to the kids that their toys stay in the playroom and their bedrooms, and I'd schedule a clean up for half an hour before The Dad Guy was due home. To hubby, I'd recommend he stay out of the play room! Since your kids already understand the "5 toy rule" suppose you make that the rule that follows the clean up. Five toys can't traumatise your husband too much.

 

Rosie

[Dustybug]

I have become like your husband recently. We live in a 900 sq. ft., 2 bedroom house and there are 5 of us. This means that it doesn't take much for it to look like the toy bins exploded. I cannot stand it. So, we've been slowly purging through things and either trashing them, consigning them, donating them, or selling them through a few local facebook yard sale groups.

 

DH and I were both really poor as children and so sometimes we have a tendency to really overdo it, but our space just doesn't allow it AND I've started to realize that our children don't have the appreciation that I would like to instill in them for their toys because they just simply have so many (and we have very little in comparison to most that we know). I think this is, in part, because they take for granted that they have so much. *shrug*

 

I hope to get to a place where we really only have toys that they play with on a regular basis.

[QueenCat]

I'd rotate rather than get rid of because pretty much everything you mention having helps with creative play, thinking, etc. None of it sounds like real "junk".

[hollyh]

I'm definitely not a minimalist. I think toys are wonderful and help with important skills, imagination, etc. Do they NEED them, no. They are completely content with pots/pans, etc. That being said, i see the positives in them as well. I keep them in bins so that they are not all visible at the same time and I have been working on rotation so that they always stay fresh & new. I don't think you have too many.

[ThelmaLou]

For us, too many is when we don't comfortably fit in the space alloted to toys (shelves and closet). If bins are being stacked on the floor and blocking doorways, it's too much.

 

BTW, I always declutter, donate, or sell on ebay before birthdays and Christmas. I can't handle starting back to school in January overloaded with stuff.

 

The hard part is that we're often getting rid of the "good stuff." With 5 boys, someone's always getting new Legos, Playmobil, etc... How do you part with those? Actually, it's rare that I do. I try to get rid of almost anything else. My grandkids are going to have a lifetime supply of Legos and Playmobil at Grandma's house!

[m0mmaBuck]

I'm not a minimalist but we do declutter and donate before birthdays and Christmas. There seems to be some sort of stuffed animal breeding program going on in DD's room though. I'm not sure what that's all about but no matter how many we donate it seems there are always more taking their places. It's like that episode of Star Trek with the Tribbles!