S/O Clothes/Fashion & not looking frumpy... Guilt?

[WistfulRidge]

Thanks to all the fashion advice threads in the past little while I've spent the last couple days staring at my closet. It's not a pretty sight. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I've got 1 pair of jeans and 2 shirts that are relatively nice and wearable. The rest are cheap t-shirts that can now best be described as "ratty".

 

I've also realized that, unless you count the maternity jeans I bought in January of this year and the 2 shirts I bought in May of '10 as a graduation gift for myself, I haven't bought myself any clothes in a little over 2 years - and those are the "newer" things. Ignoring Maternity clothes, I haven't bought a new skirt since I was 14 or 15 years old :001_huh:. Sure I've occasionally replaced underthings but... yeah.

 

So I've decided that new clothes are definitely in order. It is no longer something I can ignore. The clothes I have aren't fit for public (or even private) wear. I need a completely new wardrobe from the top on down - shirts, jeans, skirts, shoes (because right now I have flip-flops and a pair of boots - everything else is dead and old), underthings... gah. All of it.

 

Part of me is kind of excited because I want nice things - not necessarily expensive, but nice - and I've never really had them. (I have one of those passive agressive mothers - "That shirt is lovely, it would look great on you if you lost ten pounds!". This has encouraged a life time of just grabbing solid color tees at Old Navy when they're on sale for $5 and calling it good).

The rest of me is filled with guilt. Even shopping places like Ross, TJ Maxx, and clearance racks it is still going to be a couple hundred dollars. Goodwill type stores aren't an option. Aside from the ones in the area having absolute crap in the way of offerings, wearing the clothes of someone I didn't know just gives me the heebie-jeebies. I feel really bad about needing to spend that amount of money on myself - especially because we have a tight budget and I'm the one in charge of finances so I can see all the other places that would benefit from the extra money.

 

Ugh... so do you ladies feel guilty spending money on yourself, even if you know it a completely called for and rational expense? If so - how do you deal with it? If not - please, share your secret(s) to escaping it, lol!

[Tap]

Yes, sometimes I do feel guilty but honestly, it should be in the budget just like everyone else's clothes.

 

I often buy myself clothes for gifts. My husband is horrible at buying gifts so I buy my own. Unless there is something I really want that is not clothing, I buy a few items here and there for my gifts.

 

Every couple of years I go on a spending spree at a place like Eddie Bauer online when they are having a great sale and buy some outfits. I will spend $300+. I buy a couple outfits that all coordinate so the pieces can mix/match. I get a coat/vest that looks great with it all and that will last me a while. I find that I get much more use out of these sprees than buying a random piece or two here and there.

 

Otherwise, I do shop at TJ Maxx (not so much at Ross). I do buy shirts/jeans/slacks there but I don't just look for the extreme bargains of $10-15. When I shop for myself, I try to shop in 'outfits'. I find that I get much, much more wear out of clothes if I bought things that already have something to coordinate with it.

[Garga]

I'd do this little-by-little if I were you. You'll make less costly mistakes that way. Buying all new clothes is like buying hs curriculum. It looks really good at first and it works great for a week, and then you realize it's Just All Wrong. This is why you want to buy little-by-little. For example, you may walk into Old Navy, buy the solid color tees in all the colors, spend $50 and then realize you don't want to wear solid color tees all the time, but now your money was wasted

 

Buy stuff over a couple of months. Start simple and work up.

 

You have:

1 pair jeans

2 shirts

 

You need right away:

Another pair of pants (pants and jeans don't have to be washed after each wearing, so you only need 2 for now to get by)

5 more shirts (shirts usually do have to be washed after 1 wear. Maybe 2 in the winter, if you're cold and not sweaty at all!)

1 pair shoes

 

I would buy this week:

1 new pair of pants (they can be more jeans or cotton or whatever--but think ahead to winter.)

2 shirts that aren't t-shirts, that are fun and as fashionable as you can handle right now

3 t-shirts to wear in the interim, until you can buy more. If possible, make sure they're fitted t-shirts and aren't billowing around you.

1 pair of shoes to match the new pants

 

This could cost $100 or so, depending on sales and where you shop.

 

Then wait until the middle of October or the beginning of November and see what else you need. Perhaps you'll need some long-sleeve shirts or sweaters and boots.

 

 

You won't feel as guilty if you start small and add to your closet little-by-little. There's nothing wrong with looking presentable and groomed. It's what people do in polite society! ;)

[Lily_Grace]

Yes, sometimes I do feel guilty but honestly, it should be in the budget just like everyone else's clothes.

 

 

 

This. I feel a twinge, but this is why everyone in our family has a piece of the budget carved out for their monthly needs. The money for me needs to be spent on me.

 

Take your time in getting new things. Find one thing you love and buy it. Then next month, do the same. Take an honest friend with you so you don't get sucked into getting something that looked great on the mannequin but sits in your drawer at home.

[justamouse]

I always feel guilty about spending $ on myself. Even if it's a three dollar hair tie. I've learned to just do it. I don't go crazy, but that guilt isn't healthy, either.

 

Garga has a great post. Listen to her. :-)

[Parrothead]

Don't feel guilty about buying yourself decent clothes. Do you feel guilty when your children need clothes? Your dh? Why on earth should you be any different?

 

I think it is some kind of... something. We, as stay at home mom,s don't work outside the home so we think why should we need new and fashionable clothes? Then we feel guilt about it because we are "taking food away from out children" because we need a new dress.

 

Don't you want your dh to be pleased when he takes you out in public - even if it is to the market for a sack of potatoes? No sense wearing the potato sack while doing it. I don't care that one's dh says he doesn't care what one wears. Deep down, yes, he probably cares. We put our men in hard places when we ask questions like that. Not that you are doing this or similar. It is just an observation.

 

Okay, I'll get off my soapbox. Sorry for the raving.

 

Go get yourself an outfit - appropriate undergarments, stylish top, matching stylish bottom, shoes, and a bit of costume jewerly. Then next pay period go get another set of undergarments, another set of top and bottoms that will mix and match with the first ones you bought and maybe another pair of earrings if you have a deep need for earrings. (I do and think everyone should. LOL) Then sometime during the 3rd pay period, go do the undergarments and outfit again. This time look at a different pair of shoes.

 

This will give you nine new outfits. But if you are wearing the same clothes over and over again they will start to wear so just keep shopping. You might get lucky and hit a good sale sometime soon and be able to buy 3 or 4 tops all at once to fill out your new wardrobe.

 

Try to stick with neutral colors that will mix and match. Make the outfit pop with colorful costume jewelry. Alternately, coming into the fall and winter make the neutrals pop with nice sweaters or jackets.

 

Check for sales. Keep an eye out for specials. Right now the end of summer clearances are going on. You'll be able to get some good deals. You might be able to get short sleeve shirts on sale. Then a few feet away a nice cardigan to go with everything.

 

Good luck and stop feeling guilty.

Edited September 11, 2011 by Parrothead

[Ria]

I have gotten over the guilt. I want to look good. I feel better about myself, and I want dh to think I'm pretty and sexy. Sorry if that shocks anyone, but there it is. For years I wore nothing but baggy stuff from thrift stores. Then I realized...hey, I'm in my 40's and look like crap. Ugh. No more.

 

So, I shop...prudently. For example, right now Loft has everything in the store 30% off, and if you spend $50 you get a $25 gift card for a future purchase. NY&Co and Loft both have sale racks in the back of the store (really good prices at NY&Co).

 

The key is to get items that coordinate, and that can layer. For example, I got a cami, tank top, and two sweaters at Loft the other day. In the summer I could go without the sweaters, but if I add the sweaters suddenly I can wear these things year round. Jeans can be worn year round.

 

I like the curvy jeans at both Loft and NY&Co. They are very flattering without looking too young.

[WistfulRidge]

Yes, sometimes I do feel guilty but honestly, it should be in the budget just like everyone else's clothes.

 

I often buy myself clothes for gifts. My husband is horrible at buying gifts so I buy my own. Unless there is something I really want that is not clothing, I buy a few items here and there for my gifts.

 

I think I'd feel less guilt if there was a "clothing" budget... but sadly, there isn't. We're at the stage of life were clothing purchases are made with carefully hoarded birthday/christmas money, a little excess out of DH's student grants, and our tax return.

 

I'd do this little-by-little if I were you. You'll make less costly mistakes that way. Buying all new clothes is like buying hs curriculum. It looks really good at first and it works great for a week, and then you realize it's Just All Wrong. This is why you want to buy little-by-little.

 

Great advice. I really dislike shopping for clothes so I admit I'd be tempted to do it all at once if I had the funds. I'm trying to avoid most tees in general because I know I'll be drawn to simply just throw them on and be done with it - and that's the rut I'm trying to get out of!

 

The biggest expense is I'm going to need bras. DS2 is 2 months old so I'm kind of having to admit that the full cup size gain is likely here to stay for a while. I'm cursed with a size that is impossible to find in stores, so, if I get lucky (ie: the ones I like are on sale) I'll still be spending $60-$70 just for the bare minimum of 2 bras.

 

 

 

Don't feel guilty about buying yourself decent clothes. Do you feel guilty when your children need clothes? Your dh? Why on earth should you be any different?

 

I think it is some kind of... something. We, as stay at home mom,s don't work outside the home so we think why should we need new and fashionable clothes? Then we feel guilt about it because we are "taking food away from out children" because we need a new dress.

 

Don't you want your dh to be pleased when he takes you out in public - even if it is to the market for a sack of potatoes? No sense wearing the potato sack while doing it. I don't care that one's dh says he doesn't care what one wears. Deep down, yes, he probably cares. We put our men in hard places when we ask questions like that. Not that you are doing this or similar. It is just an observation.

 

Okay, I'll get off my soapbox. Sorry for the raving.

 

 

Rave away. ;)

Wanting to look nice for DH is really one of my biggest motivators right now. I, ideally, want to get to the point were I want to look nice for me but I have some more psychological work to do on myself before I get to that point. I had one of those moms who was really, really good at being a mom, but was too self-sacrificing. I remember begging not to have to participate in park and rec basketball when I was 12 and getting the "I'm going without new clothes so you can have these opportunities" speech :glare:. So whenever there is any extra money I tend to go straight to "How can I use this to improve DH/kids life?" rather than spending it on myself, even if I need something.

[Lady Marmalade]

Goodwill type stores aren't an option. Aside from the ones in the area having absolute crap in the way of offerings, wearing the clothes of someone I didn't know just gives me the heebie-jeebies.

 

Do you have any thrift stores that are maybe a little nicer/cleaner than Goodwill? That might be a good inbetween option for you.

 

I used to avoid Goodwill like the plague. I hate the smells, and like you, the used clothes creeped me out. And then I found myself in a place where I truly had one pair of jeans that fit me. I had jeans and pajama pants, and that was it. I happened to have a generous gift card to JCPenney, so I promptly took it and spent it on a nice pair of jeans and a top to go with.

 

Fast forward three days later and something prompts me to stop at Goodwill. I perused the denim, and found seven pairs of jeans that fit me perfectly. I went back and forth, and then just decided to buy them- intending to give them a serious washing in scalding hot water. Do you know that I bought 7 pairs of name-brand gently used jeans for LESS than the one brand new pair I'd bought a few weeks earlier? And guess which pair wore out first? Not the used ones...

 

I'm converted- I still don't care for shopping there, but there is a huge benefit for me to buying used-but-nice clothing. It's already been washed, worn and pre-shrunk for me. I don't have to worry about something I love shrinking beyond wearability.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to throw that out there. When I need new clothes I go to Goodwill for many things, and then I don't feel so badly about wanting to spend a little more brand new for things like undergarments and shoes. It's a great compromise for me, but I realize it's not for everyone. :)

[Audrey]

Yes, sometimes I do feel guilty but honestly, it should be in the budget just like everyone else's clothes.

 

I often buy myself clothes for gifts.

 

 

:iagree: I feel this way, exactly. I also buy clothes for myself in lieu of my dh buying them for me. He will usually go with me, though. I value his opinion and, although he doesn't always know what will go with what, he has decent taste in style, and will honestly tell me if something doesn't fit, or doesn't look that great on me.

[Britomart]

I think the going slow advice is great too. I'd add: consider color before you go. Which colors do you really love? Which colors make you feel happy when you see them? Which colors make your eyes feel like they're getting rest, like they're at peace? Which shirt have you had in the past that made you feel pretty when you wore it - even if the style was plain? What color was it?

 

Those are probably the colors you want to wear and that look good on you. Pick your favorite neutral, or two (my favorites are white and, well, denim - yay, jeans!) and then a couple of colors that make you happy (green and blue, for me), and buy most of your new stuff in those colors.

 

You get two benefits from this. One, everything will match and you can mix and match your new pieces to make lots of different outfits. Two, you'll feel good in everything you've bought. Color is so important.

[melissel]

I feel the same guilt. Right now our budget is maxed out to where, if I need new clothes, we have to cut back on something like, say, FOOD :glare:

 

For me, the guilt comes from the fact that my clothes are not fashionable, but they are serviceable. Buying new ones feels overly self-indulgent and doesn't mesh with the "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without" mentality that I've worked so hard to cultivate!

 

When I buy the kids new clothes, it's because their old ones don't actually fit anymore, not just because I want them to have nicer, more stylish ones. And I can buy their clothes at Target because they only need to last a year. I can't shop at Target. I'm an odd shape--I'm in between misses sizes and plus sizes, so misses sizes are often too small, but women's sizes are usually too large/boxy. And I'm too busty for women's sizes to fit, but too hourglass-shaped for women's sizes to flatter. It's so frustrating! The only way to get clothing that fits is to go expensive. Talbots clothes fit me perfectly, of course, but I can't afford anything there!

 

Plus, it always seems that good, nice clothing needs special care, and I just don't have time/money for special care. So if I don't take special care with them, pretty soon they look as faded/ratty/old/stained as all the rest of my clothes!

 

Ugh. I'm venting, but yes, I totally hear you and struggle with it too. I know DH would love for me to dress nicer and would be glad to spend the money, but he's not the one staring at the budget every month, and he's more apt to wave his hand and say, "Eh, it'll work itself out." Not exactly the best financial management strategy, and again, one that we've spent a long time training ourselves OUT of! :lol:

[Audrey]

I think the going slow advice is great too. I'd add: consider color before you go. Which colors do you really love? Which colors make you feel happy when you see them? Which colors make your eyes feel like they're getting rest, like they're at peace? Which shirt have you had in the past that made you feel pretty when you wore it - even if the style was plain? What color was it?

 

Those are probably the colors you want to wear and that look good on you. Pick your favorite neutral, or two (my favorites are white and, well, denim - yay, jeans!) and then a couple of colors that make you happy (green and blue, for me), and buy most of your new stuff in those colors.

 

You get two benefits from this. One, everything will match and you can mix and match your new pieces to make lots of different outfits. Two, you'll feel good in everything you've bought. Color is so important.

 

 

 

That's good advice. I would also add... don't buy anything you don't love and that doesn't look great on you. Don't just settle for something because it fits or because you're tired of shopping. You'll end up not wearing those pieces much and that is kind of a waste of money, even if it was a really cheap item. Make sure you love it!

[Audrey]

I feel the same guilt. Right now our budget is maxed out to where, if I need new clothes, we have to cut back on something like, say, FOOD :glare:

 

For me, the guilt comes from the fact that my clothes are not fashionable, but they are serviceable. Buying new ones feels overly self-indulgent and doesn't mesh with the "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without" mentality that I've worked so hard to cultivate!

 

When I buy the kids new clothes, it's because their old ones don't actually fit anymore, not just because I want them to have nicer, more stylish ones. And I can buy their clothes at Target because they only need to last a year. I can't shop at Target. I'm an odd shape--I'm in between misses sizes and plus sizes, so misses sizes are often too small, but women's sizes are usually too large/boxy. And I'm too busty for women's sizes to fit, but too hourglass-shaped for women's sizes to flatter. It's so frustrating! The only way to get clothing that fits is to go expensive. Talbots clothes fit me perfectly, of course, but I can't afford anything there!

 

Plus, it always seems that good, nice clothing needs special care, and I just don't have time/money for special care. So if I don't take special care with them, pretty soon they look as faded/ratty/old/stained as all the rest of my clothes!

 

Ugh. I'm venting, but yes, I totally hear you and struggle with it too. I know DH would love for me to dress nicer and would be glad to spend the money, but he's not the one staring at the budget every month, and he's more apt to wave his hand and say, "Eh, it'll work itself out." Not exactly the best financial management strategy, and again, one that we've spent a long time training ourselves OUT of! :lol:

 

 

Melissa, I'm an hourglass, too. I've come to the conclusion that I have to buy to fit in 2 places -- my hips and in the shoulders. For bottoms, buy what fits your hips. It will be too big in the waist, but you are going to take that in (either yourself, or spend a couple of dollars to have it done). For tops, get it to fit your shoulders and go for tops that are a little stretchy to accomodate your bust. Don't worry if they are baggy in the waist as much because you are going to either tuck them into your altered pants or skirt, or you are going to belt them. Belts look fabulous on hourglass gals. It shows off your fabulous shape and highlights the smallest part of you -- your little waist. You can find all kinds of belts inexpensively these days. Longer waisted gals can get away with almost any belt, even those big wide waist cinchers. It might be a little trickier if you are short waisted. Try different ones to see what looks cute on you.

Edited September 11, 2011 by Audrey

[creativish]

Just wanted to say you are so not alone. :grouphug:

 

I've avoided this problem somehow because whenever it pops up, I seem to end up pregnant again?! :tongue_smilie: And of course I'm not going to waste a bunch of money on maternity clothes that I'll only wear a few months... er, years:rolleyes:

So I am amazingly awesome at putting this off-- for over a DECADE!!

Alas, now I'm in the midst of my final pregnancy so this issue is going to rear it's ugly head in the coming months, big and bad. My closet is cringingly awful.

I dread clothes shopping and I am no good at buying stuff for myself either. I have the SAHM syndrome and have to give myself these major pep talks just to be open to the idea.

And to boot, I honestly don't really care for many of the styles I see. skinny pants:ack2: nor a fan of dresses or skirts or other girly feminine stuff. Or should I say I don't feel comfortable in any of it. :(

What a chore it is to look decent!

 

:bigear:I'm listening and taking notes to all the advice in this thread:)

[MelAR05]

I had one of those moms who was really, really good at being a mom, but was too self-sacrificing. I remember begging not to have to participate in park and rec basketball when I was 12 and getting the "I'm going without new clothes so you can have these opportunities" speech :glare:. So whenever there is any extra money I tend to go straight to "How can I use this to improve DH/kids life?" rather than spending it on myself, even if I need something.

 

I have felt the same way for a long time then one day it came to me that I wanted it to be different for my girls. I want them to see it modeled as a mom that it is ok to spend money on yourself and still be a good mom.

 

Don't get me wrong, it is still hard to think this way, but I do want my girls to be free of the guilt that I've had, if and when they become a mother.

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

We really don't have the money for me to buy new clothes. And I have started shopping at Goodwill. I have found nice things with tags attached. I've also found like brand new items that must have only been worn a few times. When I go the goal is one type of item.... short sleeve blouses for example. Then I'm not overwhelmed. I 'll usually glance through other items. I always wash everything before wearing it... sometimes twice. All this to say.... you might give Goodwill or Thrift Stores one more chance.

[Tap]

I don't know about the Goodwills in other areas, but Goodwill can be expensive here. A pair of used men's Levis are $10-15, better brands are more. Nice shirts are $5-10. Many name brands are more. I would not be surprised if the entire store is priced at 25-50% of retail prices. I don't think I have ever seen a decent clothing item that is under $5 there. (other than a stretched out t-shirt)

 

There are many Goodwill's/Salvation Armys around. There is even an upper end Goodwill in down town Portland that sells designer items. $40-80 price tags are common there.

 

I can get an occasional item there, but really I do better at the end of season sales/TJ Maxx etc.

 

I have even seen items priced higher than they were in the store LOL....items like dollar store items that are now $2. LOL

Edited September 12, 2011 by Tap, tap, tap

[Joyofsixreboot]

I do feel guilty which is why I don't have anything to wear either.

[Orthodox6]

Clean, neat, and properly-fitting are the hallmarks of dressing well. Fashion whims are irrelevant and transient. If you feel comfortable and self-confident, you have chosen well, even if nobody else likes your wardrobe.

Edited September 12, 2011 by Orthodox6

[justasque]

I'd do this little-by-little if I were you. You'll make less costly mistakes that way.

 

This was an excellent post. I would add -

Take a bit of time to look (online, or in catalogs - send for a ton of them!) and get a sense of what's in style right now that feels "you". That way, when you go out, you can look for a specific type of outfit rather than being overwhelmed at everything. Like "I'd like a nice corduroy skirt, with a v-neck sweater to match, to wear with tights." (Or whatever - I have no clue what's 'in' this season yet.)

 

Also - consider setting a sort of long-term policy for yourself - like "I will buy myself two outfits each season, fall, winter, spring and summer, for this year." It helps you pace yourself, and sometimes you can choose pieces that mix-and-match with what you already have to "freshen up" your look.

 

And - I know some folks have lousy second-hand options and some have great ones. Here, adult clothes are around $3.50 per piece. Yes, a lot is trash, but there's some very nice stuff mixed in. Be just as picky as you'd be at the mall, and wash everything in hot two or three times. I can buy a higher quality of clothing if I go second-hand. Just stop by the thrift first, then fill in with new stuff. OR - buy your kids' clothes there this season, and free up a little $ to buy yours new.

 

Just as everyone seems to be in a cooking rut right now, everyone is also in a clothing rut. That's normal and natural at this time of year. Time to weed out and assess what's needed for the new weather/season.

 

(Of course, who am I to talk, I've been weeding out children's books all day.... Does any one family really need three copies of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or the Wizard of Oz? Sigh...)

[Garga]

I don't know about the Goodwills in other areas, but Goodwill can be expensive here. A pair of used men's Levis are $10-15, better brands are more. Nice shirts are $5-10. Many name brands are more. I would not be surprised if the entire store is priced at 25-50% of retail prices. I don't think I have ever seen a decent clothing item that is under $5 there. (other than a stretched out t-shirt)

 

There are many Goodwill's/Salvation Armys around. There is even an upper end Goodwill in Down Town Portland that sells designer items. $40-80 price tags are common there.

 

I can get an occasional item there, but really I do better at the end of season sales/TJ Maxx etc.

 

I have even seen items priced higher than they were in the store LOL....items like dollar store items that are now $2. LOL

 

Ay yi yi! Where are you, New York City? Eeep!

[Happy]

I applaud the idea of going slowly...

 

To the advice you've already gotten...pick up a colorful scarf or two. They seem to be a hot trend right now...and quite fun. They dress up a plain, solid-colored tee shirt and pants or jeans, too.

[Tap]

Ay yi yi! Where are you, New York City? Eeep!

 

Nope a mid sized town in Washington.

 

DD12 used to collect Build a Bears and you could find BAB items at Goodwill sometimes for $2-3. Then a new pricing system went into place. BAB shoes....$5 Outfits..$5-7.....FOR STUFFED ANIMAL CLOTHES! I have seen BABs there with an outfit for $20! Not collectible/retired ones. Current in the store items. New it would have been $40 but seriously....part of the BAB experience is making it yourself.

[Runningmom80]

I used to feel guilty.

 

Then my DH told me I used to dress better before I had kids. :glare: (He wasn't trying to insult me or be mean, but that's what came out.)

 

 

So now I think of that every time I start to feel guilty. :lol:

[Sevilla]

I feel the same guilt. Right now our budget is maxed out to where, if I need new clothes, we have to cut back on something like, say, FOOD :glare:

 

For me, the guilt comes from the fact that my clothes are not fashionable, but they are serviceable. Buying new ones feels overly self-indulgent and doesn't mesh with the "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without" mentality that I've worked so hard to cultivate!

 

When I buy the kids new clothes, it's because their old ones don't actually fit anymore, not just because I want them to have nicer, more stylish ones. And I can buy their clothes at Target because they only need to last a year. I can't shop at Target. I'm an odd shape--I'm in between misses sizes and plus sizes, so misses sizes are often too small, but women's sizes are usually too large/boxy. And I'm too busty for women's sizes to fit, but too hourglass-shaped for women's sizes to flatter. It's so frustrating! The only way to get clothing that fits is to go expensive. Talbots clothes fit me perfectly, of course, but I can't afford anything there!

 

Plus, it always seems that good, nice clothing needs special care, and I just don't have time/money for special care. So if I don't take special care with them, pretty soon they look as faded/ratty/old/stained as all the rest of my clothes!

 

Ugh. I'm venting, but yes, I totally hear you and struggle with it too. I know DH would love for me to dress nicer and would be glad to spend the money, but he's not the one staring at the budget every month, and he's more apt to wave his hand and say, "Eh, it'll work itself out." Not exactly the best financial management strategy, and again, one that we've spent a long time training ourselves OUT of! :lol:

With an hourglass body type, you will need to alter the items to fit you. Some simple sewing lessons can teach you how to do it yourself, or you can find someone to do it for you. My grandma-in-law alters my clothes for free (mostly hemming pants and skirts). But if you want them done by someone more 'professional' then you can go to a dry cleaners and get it done for a few dollars.

 

When you buy shirts, get them to fit your bust/shoulders - it is fine that they're big in the waist b/c you'll get them tailored and nipped in there. When you buy skirts/pants - get them to fit your hips and bottom. The waist can be tightened up by a tailor fairly easily.

 

Clothes on the rack are designed to fit average measurements - when your body falls outside that it doesn't mean your body is 'weird', it means the clothing measurements didn't match it so you have to fix it yourself.

[asta]

We really don't have the money for me to buy new clothes. And I have started shopping at Goodwill. I have found nice things with tags attached. I've also found like brand new items that must have only been worn a few times. When I go the goal is one type of item.... short sleeve blouses for example. Then I'm not overwhelmed. I 'll usually glance through other items. I always wash everything before wearing it... sometimes twice. All this to say.... you might give Goodwill or Thrift Stores one more chance.

 

And don't assume that this is your only option, either. If there is one thing I have found, it is that the "pricier" the store, the greater the sales. I just got the 'perfect' pants (eg the ones I've been looking everywhere for) on sale at Lands' End - marked down from $45 a pair to $15. And free shipping because I was on the e-mail list. I always scan the 'season end' clearances of any store for classic pieces.

 

Additionally, it *really* helps to figure out what looks good on you and just stick with it - a uniform of sorts. You'll save a ton of money by not buying things you never end up wearing, and lots of time by not having to think about what you're going to put on every day.

 

For instance: I wear back, side zip, pocketless pants (pockets look bad on me), a cotton-blend no-iron, fitted, collared shirt (like a gorky Oxford) that is designed to be worn "out" and black shoes. That's it. If I want to dress it up, I add a scarf or jewelry. I can put on a blazer or a sweater. I hate skirts, but I can tuck these shirts in.

[asta]

That's GIRLY oxford - not Gorky.

 

I hate typing on a phone.

[plansrme]

So whenever there is any extra money I tend to go straight to "How can I use this to improve DH/kids life?" rather than spending it on myself, even if I need something.

 

Just keep in mind that your kids want to have a pretty mom, too. You don't have to have the most rockin' body of their friends' moms for them to think you are the pretty mom; you just have to look like you give a darn.

 

I am hardly the world's expert at shopping, but when I am overwhelmed at how much I need, I find it most useful to shop only for whole outfits for a while. If I buy a top, I must also buy an appropriate bottom to go with it, on the same trip, if not at the same store. If I buy a jacket, either I have to have something to go with it already, or I buy it right then. Otherwise, I tend to end up with a pile of pieces that cannot be worn together. I get home with a pile of stuff and still have nothing to wear. :glare:

 

Second tip is to go with fewer outfits at first. If you have two outfits that look good and are suitable for wearing in a variety of situations outside the house, that's a solid start. If you pay close attention to what people wear, a lot of people wear the same things over and over again. Come up with a combination that works for you, e.g., these jeans and this cardigan, buy it in a couple of color combinations, and wear it repeatedly. Baby steps...

 

Once your wardrobe is better-established, it is easier to incorporate the odd piece that you pick up here and there and to expand.

 

Terri (who came up with these suggestions after a largely unsuccessful shopping trip yesterday and needs to follow her own advice)