Do you find it hard to make friends after moving?

[treestarfae]

It can be hard to make friends after moving! What do you do to get to know your new community?

[Parrothead]

The only time I found it hard to make connections was when we moved to a remote small town two moves ago. It was the most hideous time of my life.

 

Generally when I move, I end up connecting with people from church, people from the home school group, people from the library, people from lessons/classes, people from dh's work.

[Koerarmoca]

I do, I was lucky with this move. While we have not found a new church home. Their are TONS of homeschoolers here.. like a Crazy amount..Any time dh brings up maybe public schooling I always say " with so many homeschoolers here I have to think the public schools are awful" :lol:

[joannqn]

Yep.

[Margo out of lurking]

It can be hard to make friends after moving! What do you do to get to know your new community?

 

Let's see. A man comes up to our door on moving day, and dh assumed it was the additional mover that was supposed to show. Then he found out it was our new neighbor.

 

Dh stopped the electrical company truck on our street and told him which house was ours. After all, we were waiting for an electrician to come fix a non-working outlet. It was another neighbor (from a competing company).

 

As for me. Hmm. I went to my first hs meeting, where a new hs mom went on and on about how thrilled she was with her video curriculum, how they MUST school five days a week to stay on track, and how she sent EVERYthing in to the company to keep her kids accountable. I sat there, slackjawed, and finally responded, "I would find that horrifying."

 

On the positive side, all of these people DID become our friends. It's a small town. Perhaps they were desperate.

:D

[Celia]

I sure do, and it can really depend on the community as to how difficult it is!

[Amira]

Sure. I've met new friends in lots of ways and lots of different situations, but in my opinion, it mostly just takes some time. There are so many new things to deal with when you move.

[T'smom]

Yes. Very. You just have to be very intentional about reaching out to people. Join groups, friend people, do the inviting. It will eventually get easier.

[Dandelion]

In addition to the usual venues for meeting people, check out http://www.meetup.com if you haven't already.

 

Meetup is a global platform that has groups for every interest and hobby, and the great thing is that people who join these groups are actually interested in meeting others... ;) Our city has almost 300 local groups for every conceivable interest - I've made many great friends through Meetup over the past couple years (mainly through a women's social group and a Homeschool support group I started on Meetup, which now has over 200 member families).

 

HTH!

[Rosie_0801]

I find it difficult, but that could just be this stage of life. It's hard to bond over "I'll be right back, I just have to go grab the toddler off the table/before he gets to the road/to stop him drawing on your walls/because he's stealing toys off your kid, etc."

 

I guess the next move will be easier. The toddler should be a bit more civilised by then and I'll have the energy to actually get involved enough to form friendships. For now, I'm content mainly to be a recognised part of the scenery. One of the biggest contributors to that feeling of community is to regularly shop in small shops, talk to the same librarian, that sort of thing.

 

Rosie

[ocelotmom]

Yup.

 

Shortly before DS was born, we moved across country, and were there for a year. I was part of some parenting groups, but wouldn't say I made any actual friends.

 

After that, we were in LA for six months. Beyond one friend whom I already knew, I saw one friend that I already knew a few times, but didn't make any friends.

 

Then we moved back to the city we'd left before DS was born. I had friends, but most of them didn't have kids yet, so we didn't really do much with them.

 

Then, shortly after DD1 was born, I ran into a homeschooling group having a park day and ended up making a bunch of friends within that group.

 

We moved again about a year ago. There is no active secular HS community here. We live 5 miles outside of town, and don't get there all that much. The kids aren't involved in many activities due to money, though hopefully that will change now. We're friends with one other homeschooling family who lives 30 miles away, and a few others in the closest urban area - about an hour and a half away.

 

I decided when we moved here that, based on my history with such things, I'd give it a few years for the social situation to stabilize before deciding it's hopeless and looking for somewhere else.

 

(I'm not really complaining. It gets to me occasionally, but I'm pretty introverted, which both makes it so I'm less likely to take a lot of initiative in meeting people, but it doesn't bug me too much when I don't.)

[Josie]

I have found that it can be very difficult to make friends. I just count on six to twelve months of an adjustment period when we move. We do eventually make great friends. It just takes time. I think it is harder the older the children get because the children have more requirements for school and not as much time for investing in new friendships.

 

We make friends through church, neighbors, classes, and homeschool groups.

[Cassy]

I've found with the three moves we've made over the years that it actually takes about two years for 'acquaintances' to become friends. After somewhere between six months and a year I would begin to feel a bit desperate and almost 'give up', but actually not 'trying' so hard from then on has seemed to help develop those friendships for some strange reason. If we were to move again I think I would expect to feel a bit in limbo for those first two years.

 

Best wishes

 

Cassy

[Laura Corin]

I joined a local choir. I also attended lots of events at the village hall.

 

Laura

[athena1277]

We moved 2 years ago and it has been really, really hard making new friends. I don't feel like any of us have any close friends. We go to church, but the members are so spread out and traffic is horrific, so no one gets together much or they get together with people who live near them. We haven't hit it off well with the few people who live near us. A friend who I went to church with for a short time as a teen moved here about 6 months ago and we are trying to start a friendship and hope our dh's will be friends. The lack of close friends has left us rather homesick for where we used to live. It's very hard at times, but we just focus on our little family and try not to let things get to us.

[The Girls' Mom]

You just have to be very intentional about reaching out to people. Join groups' date=' friend people, do the inviting. It will eventually get easier.[/quote']

 

:iagree: When we moved to MN, I was basically a hermit for a year and a half (for various reasons) and I made NO real friends there. When we moved here to TX, I made making some friends one of my biggest priorities. I visited homeschool groups like crazy until we found one that fit. Then we attended every. single. activity. for a long time. I offered my house for gatherings, etc. We now have a great group of friends (both the kids and I)

 

I haven't been as intentional with our church for some reason, and we are just now beginning to make a few friends there (we've been there over a year)

 

So I've learned that you just have to be willing to really put yourself out there!

[Tess in the Burbs]

Yes and No. We had some moves that were lonely that first year. This last move has been super great on the friend spectrum. But I wouldn't say we all are super happy which makes it hard. But as for making friends we just ask around and make lots of plans.

 

I learned a few things from all our moves and others who move like us.

 

Always say yes. Doesn't matter how weird the event or invite. Say yes, as you never know who else you may meet.

 

When new invite everyone you come in contact to do something with you. Playdate, family over for dinner, local event together. Just keep inviting people. You will find friends.

 

it takes effort. Get involved even if you don't like that kind of thing.

 

It used to take me years to get into a community but I am learning to just put us out there and do as much as we can to make friends.

[Pretty in Pink]

I don't necessarily find it difficult so much as I find it tiresome. I know how to put myself out there and I know where to go to meet people. It just wears me out. I'm an introverty.

 

We don't attend church so that does seem to limit our opportunities for networking. It seems that is where everyone meets people.

[Princess Peach]

I don't necessarily find it difficult so much as I find it tiresome. I know how to put myself out there and I know where to go to meet people. It just wears me out. I'm an introverty.

 

 

This is me, too. We moved to a city last fall. I have no friends here and neither do my kids. It's just hard for me to make friends and sometimes I feel it's not worth the effort. I hope to get the kids involved in community sports this fall and perhaps I will meet a fellow mom there.

[twoforjoy]

Somewhat. I find it pretty easy, especially having kids, to make acquaintances in a new community. I can make lots of friendly acquaintances pretty quickly.

 

My problem is always moving from the acquaintance to the friend stage. We've lived in our neighborhood now for six years, and I'm *just* getting to the point where I feel like a number of acquaintances have turned into good friends. I think I'm a pretty guarded person, so that's a transition that it's really hard for me to make.

[OLG]

It takes time... I found that the older I am, the more difficult it becomes. Don't know why. As others have said, church, activities etc. help. IT's sometimes difficult to find just the 'right' friends immediately since that, well, that takes time. Good luck!

[HollyDay]

packers are packing as I type. I'll let you know!