Linda1951 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 She homeschooled her two boys who are now 15 and almost 16 till 6th grade, then sent them to public school for two years and when Obama got elected president she took them out to homeschool again. They were falling behind in PS anyway. this is going to be her second year homeschooling them since she took them out of PS. They are way behind in math, she has Saxon teacher and she says they just do not get it. She hired a tutor and they will not do the work. What would you do with them? SHe did tell them that she did not care if they stayed in high school till they were 20 but after age 18 she is not schooling them . Me I would kick them out of my house when they turned 18, period. They just will not do it. Their dad does not stick to his guns. I my self would stick them in high school and they would both be put in 9th grade. They may would even put them back as far as 8th grade. These are boys that just do not want to learn, they want to play guitars , go over to friends houses and get their drivers license and are not looking into the future a tall. They have a brother that does media stuff for movies and commericals. He went to school in California, got his degree in two years and is now making a lot and I mean a lot of money in Burbank California.He has no plans on ever coming back to Texas. They should see what he has done and want to make something out of theirselves. any help here.? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in SouthGa Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 are there any consequences for not doing the work? If all they want to do is play guitar-get rid of it until work is done. socialize? none til work is done. driver's license?-not until they are caught up to grade level work, meaning mid-tenth grade at least (I would go for 11th). Maybe more independence would help. Is there a coop she can join? Maybe try Teaching Textbook math, or Kinetic books (my video game loving son loves Kinetic). Competition can really help some kids too. Is this a play on their part because they want to go back to school? School has to be done, period. There is no other option. Either it gets done at home or in a brick-and-mortar school. Is that attitude being translated to the kids, or do they get what they want eventually? Without knowing your friend personally, it is hard to give much advice. It sounds like they need to ask themselves some tough questions and decide if they have the discipline to homeschool-of course, her kids may do the same thing with their homework in a school. It sounds like a rebellion issue, not a curriculum issue. :grouphug: to your friend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 GED? If they are motivated by nothing except their music etc. then maybe they can be motivated to get a GED and go do what they love? Not a path for everyone clearly but not sure public school would accomplish anything either at this point. I am so sorry for your friend who must be exasperated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Boys? Send them to a military boarding school? :tongue_smilie: Joking, but I could personally not stand the atmosphere of doing nothing. Generally I dislike coercion, but when it comes to that level of the lack of discipline, they probably need a total change of atmosphere in which they learn and live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyg Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I didn't understand what Obama had to do with this situation...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black_midori Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 are there any consequences for not doing the work? If all they want to do is play guitar-get rid of it until work is done. socialize? none til work is done. driver's license?-not until they are caught up to grade level work, meaning mid-tenth grade at least (I would go for 11th).Maybe more independence would help. Is there a coop she can join? Maybe try Teaching Textbook math, or Kinetic books (my video game loving son loves Kinetic). Competition can really help some kids too. Is this a play on their part because they want to go back to school? School has to be done, period. There is no other option. Either it gets done at home or in a brick-and-mortar school. Is that attitude being translated to the kids, or do they get what they want eventually? Without knowing your friend personally, it is hard to give much advice. It sounds like they need to ask themselves some tough questions and decide if they have the discipline to homeschool-of course, her kids may do the same thing with their homework in a school. It sounds like a rebellion issue, not a curriculum issue. :grouphug: to your friend! I agree. My boys wouldn't be doing ANY of those listed "things they enjoy" until they had earned by completing work in a reasonable & pleasant manner. If they are genuinely having trouble learning, then by all means she should switch curric - in fact, at their ages, I would have them taking a heavy hand in learning what style of learning they enjoy and what curric they want to try. But they MUST try - period! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Boys? Send them to a military boarding school? :tongue_smilie: Joking, but I could personally not stand the atmosphere of doing nothing. Generally I dislike coercion, but when it comes to that level of the lack of discipline, they probably need a total change of atmosphere in which they learn and live. Hoo, boy. This would be me. I would send them, get a job myself to pay for it, and let the military school work its magic on them. (My db taught at a military school for several years, and it is a wonder the level that kids will rise to when good teachers, good atmosphere and a student body that expects much all "conspire" together.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 The description implies that parenting issues underlie everything else. I can't field the schooling questions because the parenting issues come first, and those are not for me to tackle. If this is a close friend of yours, then perhaps you and she can discuss the family dynamics more intimately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 GED? If they are motivated by nothing except their music etc. then maybe they can be motivated to get a GED and go do what they love? Not a path for everyone clearly but not sure public school would accomplish anything either at this point. I am so sorry for your friend who must be exasperated. :iagree: Not everyone needs or wants a college education. Some people are perfectly content to live outside the materialistic aspirations of the norm. There isn't anything wrong with that. And maybe read Case Against Adolescence for a very different perspective. I didn't understand what Obama had to do with this situation...? :iagree: Also, I don't really understand why she needs to kick her kids out of the house at 18? It sounds like you're very angry for her, but is she as angry too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Maybe big brother can invite them up to shadow him/find something useful for them to do for a week or two? Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Military school might not take them! A lot of private military schools will not take kids that are that much of a discipline problem or that refuse to do their work. They are too young to be kicked out on their own, and I agree that they need to do some kind of hard work every day whether it is on their schoolwork or hard labor somewhere else. I know they are too young to get a GED in my state, what is the age for that where you are? What do the boys want to do that is productive? If they want to go back to public school at this point I would let them, if they want to have school at home then let them choose the curriculum and lay out your expectations. If they want to drop out and are old enough according to the compulsory education law in your state, then what exactly do they plan to do to keep a roof over their heads or food in their bellies? No one in my house can expect to lay around and still get fed. I would take the guitars and anything else they play with, like video games or that kind of thing. I would also get rid of the tv. I would refuse to sign anything for them to get a drivers license or to use my car insurance. I would not drive them anywhere and I would not buy them anything. I would only buy really basic food, like plain oatmeal for breakfast, ect. and that would be all they would get from me as far as a basic room and board until they came up with a plan they agreed to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamajo Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I didn't understand what Obama had to do with this situation...? I thought I was weird for thinking the same thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I thought I was weird for thinking the same thing! It wasn't just you. But maybe we shouldn't ask, "What on earth was that about?!?" ... I'm guessing it could get messy. (But I'm pretty certain Obama is not to blame for these students being directionless, unmotivated, and disrespectful.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pepper Potts Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 The description implies that parenting issues underlie everything else. I can't field the schooling questions because the parenting issues come first, and those are not for me to tackle. If this is a close friend of yours, then perhaps you and she can discuss the family dynamics more intimately. :iagree: Not everyone needs or wants a college education. Some people are perfectly content to live outside the materialistic aspirations of the norm. There isn't anything wrong with that. Also, I don't really understand why she needs to kick her kids out of the house at 18? It sounds like you're very angry for her, but is she as angry too? :iagree: In light of the recent Myers-Briggs threads, and discovering I'm a "Know Thyself Mother":tongue_smilie:, I recommend encouraging your friend to explore her and her sons' types. The boys may discover some goals they hadn't thought of, and the mother may find a more effective way to communicate/inspire her sons. She may then be able to pick more appropriate materials that fit their styles. A side bonus is that you will learn more about your friend and her parenting style. Perhaps she is freaking out about it, or maybe she just needs a sounding board to sort it out for herself. Either way, I can tell you care deeply for your friend :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter's Moon Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I didn't understand what Obama had to do with this situation...? I looked at it as more of a general time frame sort of thing, not anything against Obama. But, then again, I could be wrong... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I didn't understand what Obama had to do with this situation...? :iagree: I wonder if he knows? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dulcimeramy Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 :iagree: I wonder if he knows? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readinmom Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Not everyone is cut out for military schools! Just because you have a kid that is unmotivated doesn't mean something miraculously transforms when he walks through those gates. Most schools have standards of conduct regarding behavior and academics. DS graduated from miltary school, and he is the nicest, most polite kid you could ever be around. (he was that way before he attended) He is more of the norm representative for his school, not the exception. Just thought I'd throw that in there. If someone were to invent a cure on how to motivate the unmotivated, they'd be rich beyond anyone's wildest imagination. Perhaps it's more a sign of emotional immaturity than true ability. Set boundaries and expectations. Don't be afraid to let them fail. It's sometimes the biggest gift you can give, even though it is quite painful to watch. As far as the Obama thing, maybe OP is referring to the "Race to the Top" program? Big changes for public schools and their funding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 When our girls were homeschooling and they refused to do some school work we just said...you can either work with your mind or your back. We took everything from them that was important and they had to earn it back. If they didn't do school, they worked--physical labor. Mowed yard, weeded the flower beds, scrubbed grout, and if you didn't work, you didn't eat. We only had a couple of situation until it dawned on them it was easier to comply with our reguest. We also allowed our girls to work full-time while homeschooling. If they fell behind they had to stay home from work until they were caught up. We only had one incident and dd had to explain to her boss why she couldn't work. They did great after that. Mom and Dad need to be firm, follow through with consequences and have high standards for these boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I didn't understand what Obama had to do with this situation...? Well, I do think that knowing why somebody has chosen to homeschool can help in understanding the situation. As in, this decision was made as a reaction to a political environment, rather than their academic/discipline issues. They didn't bring them home to work on those issues (and it sounds like they haven't), so that could be a contributing factor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 (edited) :iagree: I wonder if he knows? :lol: Undoubtedly he's not been briefed on this situation. :D He and Michelle have no such problems with Sasha and Malia. ;) And I recall from an interview a few years ago that Pres. Obama was taught, afterschooled, by his mother before school every morning. His grandparents also took an interest in his education. To the OP, it doesn't matter what any of us thinks about this situation since it's entirely up to the parents on how to proceed. I'm not even clear from your post if they are looking for help, or if you're just frustrated with the situation. IMO the ball is in their court. It sounds like they need to repeat 9th grade if they haven't done the work required this past year. Edited July 5, 2011 by Teachin'Mine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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