Oh I cannot WAIT to see what you all have to say about THIS

[Heather in Neverland]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20110604/wl_asia_afp/malaysiaislamreligionfamilypolygamy;_ylt=AqNofJqPN1m0mt1JIky3s839xg8F;_ylu=X3oDMTNybG1ncWRmBGFzc2V0A2FmcC8yMDExMDYwNC9tYWxheXNpYWlzbGFtcmVsaWdpb25mYW1pbHlwb2x5Z2FteQRjY29kZQNnbXB0b3AyMDBwb29sBGNwb3MDMgRwb3MDMgRzZWMDeW5fdG9wX3N0b3JpZXMEc2xrA21hbGF5c2lhbndvbQ--

 

Wow. What year is it?

[Slartibartfast]

Are there not women like this here? I think some wrote books

[elizabeth]

Misogyny is misogyny and there is a bunch of it in christian families, jewish families, hindu families, atheist families etc Where it happens does not strike me as much as those who are not lifting their sisters up instead of turning a blind eye to the woman hating culture everywhere. I am not suggesting you are a part of this merely my first reaction is gee more men are disrespecting and beating women as if they were cattle. Hell you would get more jail time in my state for beating a horse than a woman. I have cases to prove it. Very interesting article .

[Mrs Mungo]

I guess paternalistic conservatives come in all flavors.

 

I would also like to point out that I know for a *fact* that some men will stray no matter how freaky their wife might be in the bedroom.

[Audrey]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20110604/wl_asia_afp/malaysiaislamreligionfamilypolygamy;_ylt=AqNofJqPN1m0mt1JIky3s839xg8F;_ylu=X3oDMTNybG1ncWRmBGFzc2V0A2FmcC8yMDExMDYwNC9tYWxheXNpYWlzbGFtcmVsaWdpb25mYW1pbHlwb2x5Z2FteQRjY29kZQNnbXB0b3AyMDBwb29sBGNwb3MDMgRwb3MDMgRzZWMDeW5fdG9wX3N0b3JpZXMEc2xrA21hbGF5c2lhbndvbQ--

 

Wow. What year is it?

 

I really don't see it as being any different from this.

 

Or this.

 

In other words.... these are all extreme examples of submission to men, but just like those 2 links of mine aren't representative of the whole of Christian marriage philosophy, neither is your link representative of Islamic marriage philosophy. They are simply fringe elements. You'll find that everywhere.

[Slartibartfast]

I really don't see it as being any different from this.

 

Or this.

 

In other words.... these are all extreme examples of submission to men, but just like those 2 links of mine aren't representative of the whole of Christian marriage philosophy, neither is your link representative of Islamic marriage philosophy. They are simply fringe elements. You'll find that everywhere.

 

:iagree:

[Heather in Neverland]

Misogyny is misogyny and there is a bunch of it in christian families, jewish families, hindu families, atheist families etc Where it happens does not strike me as much as those who are not lifting their sisters up instead of turning a blind eye to the woman hating culture everywhere. I am not suggesting you are a part of this merely my first reaction is gee more men are disrespecting and beating women as if they were cattle. Hell you would get more jail time in my state for beating a horse than a woman. I have cases to prove it. Very interesting article .

 

I think what surprised me the most about the article was that...well, there was an article about it here! Typically, the muslim women here do not speak of sex at all and they certainly don't speak out about their marriages.

 

The fact that they made a "club" about it here was sad and shocking... to them they are actually being more "progressive" and "speaking out" about how things should be in the bedroom between man and wife. Women who join this type of club feel very "modern" because they say the word "sex". Too bad they are several decades still behind... :glare:

[Heather in Neverland]

I really don't see it as being any different from this.

 

Or this.

 

In other words.... these are all extreme examples of submission to men, but just like those 2 links of mine aren't representative of the whole of Christian marriage philosophy, neither is your link representative of Islamic marriage philosophy. They are simply fringe elements. You'll find that everywhere.

 

That was not my point. It had nothing to do with muslim vs. christian.

[OrganicAnn]

There were news stories today about the high numbers of Muslin divorce in especially I think in Malaysia and all the ways they are trying to combat it. I assume that this is coming from this story line. It is more sensational that the free make up tips that some group was recommending.

[Audrey]

That was not my point. It had nothing to do with muslim vs. christian.

 

 

Oh. Well, you never said you had any point in your OP other than "can't wait to hear what you have to say about this."

 

That is what I have to say about it.

 

If you had a specific point you wanted to have addressed, you should have said so, rather than simply tossing out a pithy phrase with the provocative article.

Edited June 5, 2011 by Audrey

[Emerkaza]

I would also like to point out that I know for a *fact* that some men will stray no matter how freaky their wife might be in the bedroom.

:iagree:Yep.

 

 

"You must satisfy your husband. A good wife should be a wh0re in bed," said 46-year-old doctor, whose husband has three other wives.

 

My life would be so much easier if my dh had 3 other wives to keep him busy.:lol:

Edited June 5, 2011 by Emerkaza

[Jean in Newcastle]

What I think:

 

1. Putting the onus all on the women is wrong.

 

2. The language (ie. talking about being a wh*re in bed) might culturally mean being more free and enjoying it more - or it might not - I don't know enough about the culture to know.

[Mrs Mungo]

:iagree:Yep.

 

 

"You must satisfy your husband. A good wife should be a whore in bed," said 46-year-old doctor, whose husband has three other wives.

 

My life would be so much easier if my dh had 3 other wives to keep him busy.:lol:

 

Me, otoh? I would need an extra husband in such a case. ;)

[Slartibartfast]

:iagree:Yep.

 

 

"You must satisfy your husband. A good wife should be a whore in bed," said 46-year-old doctor, whose husband has three other wives.

 

My life would be so much easier if my dh had 3 other wives to keep him busy.:lol:

 

That was my favorite line too!! :lol:

[elizabeth]

I really don't see it as being any different from this.

 

Or this.

 

In other words.... these are all extreme examples of submission to men, but just like those 2 links of mine aren't representative of the whole of Christian marriage philosophy, neither is your link representative of Islamic marriage philosophy. They are simply fringe elements. You'll find that everywhere.

 

That site is repugnant. Now off to bleach my brain with Doctor Who reruns. Just because someone slaps a christian label on a site does not make it at all palatable, in fact it is creeperish. Where is the puke smiley??

[Heather in Neverland]

Oh. Well, you never said you had any point in your OP other than "can't wait to hear what you have to say about this."

 

That is what I have to say about it.

 

If you had a specific point you wanted to have addressed, you should have said so, rather than simply tossing out a pithy phrase with the provocative article.

 

So sorry to confuse. You can read my follow-up posts for a clearer vision.

 

It had absolutely NOTHING to do with muslim vs. christian (as you tried to link the two). It had to do with yet MORE women (of any kind) being told that the responsibility for a happy marriage (i.e. a non-cheating husband) lies on their shoulders (or on their back, I suppose). AND the fact that this "revelation" makes these women feel progressive.

 

In America, the general public has already written off these theories as "extremes". But here? Not so much.

 

Clear?

[Audrey]

So sorry to confuse. You can read my follow-up posts for a clearer vision.

 

It had absolutely NOTHING to do with muslim vs. christian (as you tried to link the two). It had to do with yet MORE women (of any kind) being told that the responsibility for a happy marriage (i.e. a non-cheating husband) lies on their shoulders (or on their back, I suppose). AND the fact that this "revelation" makes these women feel progressive.

 

In America, the general public has already written off these theories as "extremes". But here? Not so much.

 

Clear?

 

 

I wasn't confused, Heather. You weren't clear about anything in your OP. You left it to later posts to explain what you want people to say in response to you.

[Heather in Neverland]

I wasn't confused, Heather. You weren't clear about anything in your OP. You left it to later posts to explain what you want people to say in response to you.

 

True. I suppose I was just hoping for more than a "tu quoque" conversation. A girl can hope, right?

[Slartibartfast]

It had absolutely NOTHING to do with muslim vs. christian (as you tried to link the two). It had to do with yet MORE women (of any kind) being told that the responsibility for a happy marriage (i.e. a non-cheating husband) lies on their shoulders (or on their back, I suppose). AND the fact that this "revelation" makes these women feel progressive.

 

In America, the general public has already written off these theories as "extremes". But here? Not so much.

 

Clear?

 

That is a big movement here as well.

 

We are not getting it because it is going on here too.

[Rosie_0801]

I think what surprised me the most about the article was that...well, there was an article about it here! Typically, the muslim women here do not speak of sex at all.

 

Funny. I had an Indonesian Muslim friend, and have watched a few docos on Indonesian Muslims and I got the impression that they were more candid than us Aussies are.

 

Rosie

[kalanamak]

I thought you were going to announce the death of Sheriff Dillon.

[Slartibartfast]

I thought you were going to announce the death of Sheriff Dillon.

 

I am sad about that. It made me miss my grandpa all over again.

 

:crying::crying::crying::crying:

[Jean in Newcastle]

I thought you were going to announce the death of Sheriff Dillon.

 

Dh came running upstairs to tell me about this.

[Peela]

Its so difficult to know - it might be a step forward for these particular women, as Heather suggested.

ALso...they are in a country where the economic situation is such that leaving a marriage is probably usually unthinkable, because you would then have no one to support you, and your kids, or you would lose your kids as well. That really puts a different slant on marriage, when you are pretty much stuck in it for life no matter how your husbands treats you. They might actually be getting something good out of the fresh approach :) maybe its not as selfless as it seems :)

 

I have certainly seen similar conversations on these boards, though, over the years, from conservative Christians.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

Wow.

Just. Wow.

 

I'm annoyed that society puts it on the woman to keep a marriage together. Which implies that if a marriage falls apart it is the woman's fault- be there abuse, infidelity, etc.

What a sad situation.

 

I believe that cheaters are cheaters. If someone is going to cheat, there isn't much you can do to change it.

[Slartibartfast]

Its so difficult to know - it might be a step forward for these particular women, as Heather suggested.

ALso...they are in a country where the economic situation is such that leaving a marriage is probably usually unthinkable, because you would then have no one to support you, and your kids, or you would lose your kids as well. That really puts a different slant on marriage, when you are pretty much stuck in it for life no matter how your husbands treats you. They might actually be getting something good out of the fresh approach :) maybe its not as selfless as it seems :)

 

I have certainly seen similar conversations on these boards, though, over the years, from conservative Christians.

 

Americans also live in a country where women who stayed home are screwed in a divorce

Edited June 5, 2011 by Sis

[WishboneDawn]

I think what surprised me the most about the article was that...well, there was an article about it here! Typically, the muslim women here do not speak of sex at all and they certainly don't speak out about their marriages.

 

The fact that they made a "club" about it here was sad and shocking... to them they are actually being more "progressive" and "speaking out" about how things should be in the bedroom between man and wife. Women who join this type of club feel very "modern" because they say the word "sex". Too bad they are several decades still behind... :glare:

 

Maybe this is a good start though?Maybe it will get women talking about sex and in reaction to the story?

[unsinkable]

Americans also live in a country where women who stayed home are screwed in a divorce

 

HA! PUN!

[LizzyBee]

I really don't see it as being any different from this.

 

Or this.

 

In other words.... these are all extreme examples of submission to men, but just like those 2 links of mine aren't representative of the whole of Christian marriage philosophy, neither is your link representative of Islamic marriage philosophy. They are simply fringe elements. You'll find that everywhere.

 

If I'm not mistaken, the second book/author/website (The Surrendered Wife) is secular, not Christian. I think this is the book that was mentioned on the boards some years ago, so I took a look at it then and it's not a Christian book. I can't find any references to God or Christianity on the website.

 

ETA: There is a free download on the website that I just listened to. The author describes surrendered as understanding that you can only change and control yourself and not your spouse; iow, her book is not about surrendering TO your spouse. It's about stopping trying to control everything and everybody. She describes the principles in her book as compatible with Christianity, Islam, and other religions or no religion at all. She recommends divorce rather than the principles she teaches in cases of abuse, addiction, and cheating.

Edited June 5, 2011 by LizzyBee

[unsinkable]

Oh. Well, you never said you had any point in your OP other than "can't wait to hear what you have to say about this."

 

That is what I have to say about it.

 

If you had a specific point you wanted to have addressed, you should have said so, rather than simply tossing out a pithy phrase with the provocative article.

 

Tangential comment (if I may):

 

I always appreciate it if posters will give some idea of what an article is about as well as a link. It is more helpful to me to have a bit of info about the article rather than a non-descriptive title like , "have you read THIS?!"

[Jennifer3141]

Tangential comment (if I may):

 

I always appreciate it if posters will give some idea of what an article is about as well as a link. It is more helpful to me to have a bit of info about the article rather than a non-descriptive title like , "have you read THIS?!"

 

 

:iagree:

 

And about the article itself... it's GROSS, like the most patriarchal sects of every religion tend to be.

[LidiyaDawn]

I really don't see it as being any different from this.

 

Or this.

 

In other words.... these are all extreme examples of submission to men, but just like those 2 links of mine aren't representative of the whole of Christian marriage philosophy, neither is your link representative of Islamic marriage philosophy. They are simply fringe elements. You'll find that everywhere.

 

:iagree:

 

 

True. I suppose I was just hoping for more than a "tu quoque" conversation. A girl can hope, right?

 

a what?

[Heather in Neverland]

Maybe this is a good start though?Maybe it will get women talking about sex and in reaction to the story?

 

I found myself thinking this today as well. It is a long way off but maybe, just maybe it is a start? Or is that just more wishful thinking on my part?

 

It is interesting that they believe that satisfying their husband in bed will keep him from cheating but it doesn't mention if it will keep him from marrying three other women... You know, seeing as how polygamy is legal here (well, legal among Muslims but no one else).

 

The whole premise of the club still makes my skin crawl.

[Joanne]

I found myself thinking this today as well. It is a long way off but maybe, just maybe it is a start? Or is that just more wishful thinking on my part?

 

It is interesting that they believe that satisfying their husband in bed will keep him from cheating but it doesn't mention if it will keep him from marrying three other women... You know, seeing as how polygamy is legal here (well, legal among Muslims but no one else).

 

The whole premise of the club still makes my skin crawl.

 

I think it is simply more women-hating.

 

The fact that men can be polyamous but the woman is required to be the submissive marriage keeper is part of the problem - the answer isn't being better in bed.