Mynyel Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 at my kids. The straws that broke the camels back was a DVD that was flung across the room by ds3 that no one put away and the brand new sweatshirts I just bought dd13 the day before yesterday on her floor under a bunch of other crud in her room. I told them: 1. I will not be buying anything until they start taking care of things. Even clothes. I told them they have to buy it with their allowance that way if they ruin it, it is their money not mine. 2. If I find it on the floor or I have to clean it up it is garbage. Period. Toys. Clothes. Movies. Games. Books. Everything. 3. If I find clean clothes in the dirty laundry (I can't even count how many times I have!) they go in the garbage. Dd13 skulked off to her room, I am sure mental daggers are sticking out of my head right now. Ds9 is actually organizing the movies :tongue_smilie:. Ds3? Well he is being the same rapscallion as ever :001_rolleyes:. I am serious as a heart attack. I am not buying anything or keeping anything I have to clean up anymore. I just can. not. do. it. I work 25-30 hours a week, I clean, I school the kids, I grocery shop, I cook, I pay the bills, I cart them to karate 4 nights a week, I clean up after a very rambunctious 3yo (Yup I know all of you can relate to that! :D) I think I do enough without having to do more. I think I need to take some more St. John's Wort :tongue_smilie:. So does anyone think this is to harsh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Not too harsh. They are perfectly capable of picking up after themselves. And after the first few times you throw something away, they'll get the message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hankins3 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 :grouphug: Nope, not too harsh! :) Just stick to it, and after a couple days, you should start to see a change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Stick to it, mama! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzybluecheese Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Oh, I have sooo been there! cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susann Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Nope, not too harsh at all. Stick to your guns! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura in STL Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Not too harsh at all! I have told mine in the past that stuff left out would be trash or donated. I've never actually had to follow through, but I would if necessary. Teaching them to respect and care for property is a valuable life lesson. Someday they will be grateful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Stick to it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OregonNative Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Nope-not harsh at all! I feel your pain and have recently told my kids the same things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I am sooo feeling like this recently. I wonder if I'm expecting too much out of 8 and 6 year old girls. They just don't pick up after themselves. I wonder if I'm flipping out b/c I'm with them all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendedforecast Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 BTDT. Stick to your guns and they'll learn (hopefully) to be more responsible. At my house, the kids are now pretty good about taking care of their stuff, because they know that if I pick up x,y, or z off the floor, they'll have to earn it back with chores. You are not being too harsh; some kids need to learn the hard way. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I've told my dc that I'll give the items to a charity. I can't stand the thought of throwing something good away! :D Stick to it, though. Seriously, look around tonight and tomorrow to find one thing to get rid of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Nope not harsh at all. It is so frustrating when they don't appreciate all that they have. I went off the deep end yesterday, over the crappy way they treat each other and the constant bickering, and "Mom, he did this to me, Mooom, he said this to me, Mooom, Mooom, Moooom, Mooooom!!!!". Ugh! So they had no electronics and early bed (meaning right after dinner so 6:30!!!!) for the rest of the day, and all day today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolamum Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 at my kids. The straws that broke the camels back was a DVD that was flung across the room by ds3 that no one put away and the brand new sweatshirts I just bought dd13 the day before yesterday on her floor under a bunch of other crud in her room. I told them: 1. I will not be buying anything until they start taking care of things. Even clothes. I told them they have to buy it with their allowance that way if they ruin it, it is their money not mine. 2. If I find it on the floor or I have to clean it up it is garbage. Period. Toys. Clothes. Movies. Games. Books. Everything. 3. If I find clean clothes in the dirty laundry (I can't even count how many times I have!) they go in the garbage. Dd13 skulked off to her room, I am sure mental daggers are sticking out of my head right now. Ds9 is actually organizing the movies :tongue_smilie:. Ds3? Well he is being the same rapscallion as ever :001_rolleyes:. I am serious as a heart attack. I am not buying anything or keeping anything I have to clean up anymore. I just can. not. do. it. I work 25-30 hours a week, I clean, I school the kids, I grocery shop, I cook, I pay the bills, I cart them to karate 4 nights a week, I clean up after a very rambunctious 3yo (Yup I know all of you can relate to that! :D) I think I do enough without having to do more. I think I need to take some more St. John's Wort :tongue_smilie:. So does anyone think this is to harsh? When my sdd was about 13, I finally drew the line at a) throwing clean unworn clothes in the dirty laundry hamper and b) changing outfits 3 - 4 times a day as well as using 2 towels a day (all of which ended up in the hamper). I gave her an ultimatum to either cut it out or do her own laundry. She began doing her own laundry the next day. Of course that led to other issues (like all my clean clothes being taken out of the dryer and thrown on the couch in a big wrinkled ball), but it did cut out at least 5 loads of laundry for me a week. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I don't think you are harsh. I hope you can stick to it. Also, try to get anyone over 9 doing their own laundry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Not too harsh. I'm glad I'm not the only mean mom that gets frustrated by kids' poor treatment of belongings. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 That's not harsh, that's reasonable expectation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iquilt Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Not too harsh at all-I've donated items before after they've been left on the floor for too long. I also think kids can have too much stuff and at that point we discuss the idea of donating and work together to purge unwanted items. Their grandparents have always been way over the top with presents, and though we've talked to them over the years about it they won't change so we have learned to deal with it on our end. My in-laws in particular go way overboard with packages for everything, including toys at St. Patrick's Day, etc. I think she has invented holidays just so she can send us cr*p. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I dont think it is harsh however unfortunately my experience is that those sorts of outbursts rarely result in long term changed behaviours. Better to be consistent, even when you are in a good mood and the mess isn't bothering you so much. And better to be consistent with a good attitude- just cheerily consistent- than easygoing and lax, then explosive, according to your emotions. Kids don't usually have the capability to translate one explosive mommy session into long term motivation to change. Patience and persistence is always called for. My mum was generally an easygoing person and I was a slob, as was my brother. We didn't do chores, we didn't keep our bedrooms tidy. Around once a month, mum would explode in anger about the mess and we would have to stay in on the weekend until everything was tidy. But I grew up not having a clue about keeping things tidy- and resenting the need to. With my kids, while we do not have a perfect situation by any means, I have tried to teach them to pick up after themselves consistently, I have worked alongside them with big jobs, and also continually decluttered, and taught them to declutter, so as not to have too much stuff around. I think it takes a bit more strategy than a few threats :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 When my sdd was about 13, I finally drew the line at a) throwing clean unworn clothes in the dirty laundry hamper and b) changing outfits 3 - 4 times a day as well as using 2 towels a day (all of which ended up in the hamper). I gave her an ultimatum to either cut it out or do her own laundry. She began doing her own laundry the next day. Of course that led to other issues (like all my clean clothes being taken out of the dryer and thrown on the couch in a big wrinkled ball), but it did cut out at least 5 loads of laundry for me a week. Lisa :iagree: I learned to do my own laundry when mom found an entire pile of folded clothes in the dirty clothes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I'd never throw away clothes to prove a point. We buy the bare minimum of clothes, for financial reasons as well as storage reasons. We live in a very small house and it's smarter for us to have less clothes than more. I'd only be hurting our financial situation if I threw out clothes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alyeska Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I don't think it was too harsh. It will be a good lesson for them. When my ds was almost 4, I warned him that if he didn't pick up his toys in the yard that I would throw them away. He said he didn't care. So I did exactly what I said I would do. Now at 7 years old he STILL remembers that lesson and picks up his stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mynyel Posted May 18, 2011 Author Share Posted May 18, 2011 I, personally, wouldn't throw things away - especially clothing. I find the idea horrifically wasteful... What I *would* do, is pack it away, and make them earn it back with housework/chores. ...and I think refusing to bring more stuff into the home until they, or at least the older two, can take better care of what they have is absolutely reasonable! I'd never throw away clothes to prove a point. We buy the bare minimum of clothes, for financial reasons as well as storage reasons. We live in a very small house and it's smarter for us to have less clothes than more. I'd only be hurting our financial situation if I threw out clothes. Honestly I don't like throwing things away either but I have come to a point where I am beyond caring. I have asked, begged and pleaded not to get clean clothes in the dirty laundry and yet I still do. I have neither the time nor will to keep all the junk around to donate it. The only reason I am on the message boards at all is I post in between stints of work. So I throw it away. If they are putting clean clothes in the dirty laundry then they don't care about them and don't wear them. We shall see, I am firm in my stance. Let's see what happened in a couple weeks... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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