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Ever wish it were legal and acceptable


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to smack someone else's kid up the side of the head? Especially when they've been horribly cruel to your child AGAIN?

 

I'm about up to HERE with this kid and it's futile to talk to the mom. Last time I did that, dd got no apology nor even acknowledgment of what happened and the mom wouldn't talk to me for 3 months.

 

This kid is very lucky I wasn't there to witness her antics tonight. Or maybe I'M lucky I didn't witness it. I am fuming. FUMING.

 

:rant::boxing_smiley::smash::cursing:

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I told dd tonight that she's to stay away from this kid as much as possible. It's a kid at church and I'm contemplating going to the youth pastor about it, since talking to the mom is a waste of time. I need to simmer down before I talk to anyone, though, because right now, I'm still in the smack-up-the-side-of-the-head mode.

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:grouphug: That sucks! :mad:

 

For the record, when I was growing up, other people DID smack you upside the head if you were being a jerk. :tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree:

 

And, they would tell your parents and then you would get in trouble twice for the same offense. :lol::lol:

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:iagree:

 

And, they would tell your parents and then you would get in trouble twice for the same offense. :lol::lol:

 

ROFL Yep you know it! I once mouthed off to a neighbor of mine when I was little who put me over their knee and spanked me and then marched me home to my mother. When the neighbor told my mom what I had said my mom asked her, "Did you spank her?" The neighbor said, "yes" and my mom thanked her and then spanked me again. lol

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ROFL Yep you know it! I once mouthed off to a neighbor of mine when I was little who put me over their knee and spanked me and then marched me home to my mother. When the neighbor told my mom what I had said my mom asked her, "Did you spank her?" The neighbor said, "yes" and my mom thanked her and then spanked me again. lol

 

It is interesting how quickly things change. This was normal practice when we were growing up.

 

Now, a more common response would be to get mad at the neighbor and some would possibly even sue.

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It is interesting how quickly things change. This was normal practice when we were growing up.

 

Now, a more common response would be to get mad at the neighbor and some would possibly even sue.

 

Yep. As harsh as my parents were, they never let other people spank me. Not even much older siblings, though as I'm sure most can imagine, siblings have a way of getting their licks in anyways.:tongue_smilie:

 

I remember a time when every kid I knew knew that it wasn't what the teacher or principal or whoever did that made you nervous. Oh no. It was the words, "I'm going to call your parents about this."

 

Yep. Even if the principal gave you a paddling, you knew you were in for at least same or worse when you got home.

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to smack someone else's kid up the side of the head? Especially when they've been horribly cruel to your child AGAIN?

 

Oh YES! There is one child I have just told dd to stay away from completely, and if I know he will be somewhere, we don't go. Luckily we don't cross paths often. He kicked dd while wearing ice-skates (not easy, as they are heavy, and he kicked her on her thigh) and she ended up with a nasty bruise. He has always been a problem child to be around, but that was the final straw for me. At the same event I told him outright I'd have the ice arena staff take him off the ice if he didn't quit giving the girls a hard time (after another child asked me to step in). I told the mother, but she didn't follow up on his behavior. I sympathise...

 

I told dd tonight that she's to stay away from this kid as much as possible. It's a kid at church and I'm contemplating going to the youth pastor about it, since talking to the mom is a waste of time.

 

This seems like a really good idea. I once spoke to a Girl Guide leader about dd's ongoing complaints, over at least 6 months, that another child was harassing her (and honestly, dd is tough, and not easily upset). The Guide leader said she was aware of general issues with the child, and she promised to keep an eye on things. She apparently put an active end to any attempts the girl made to interact negatively with my dd, and within 3 weeks the girl had left Guides. Not the the end I was hoping for, but it did highlight that dd was not exagerating, and that without the entertainment of baiting dd every week, Guides lost its attraction for the other child...

Edited by nd293
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:grouphug: That sucks! :mad:

 

For the record, when I was growing up, other people DID smack you upside the head if you were being a jerk. :tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree:

 

And, they would tell your parents and then you would get in trouble twice for the same offense. :lol::lol:

 

 

It is still like that here. My kids know they step out of line someone will get them right back in line. Same with the kids who come to my house or are around us. I would not have it any other way.

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I suggest cutting the ties with the child completely lest you actually snap one day and do it. Even if it was a practice that was fairly acceptable in our generation, the sensibility regarding who gets to "educate" your child and by what means has changed... for better and for the worse.

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:lol:

 

Try asking on the K-8 board.

 

(And the story of the world is full of people being mean and/or getting smacked upside the head.)

 

:lol::lol:

 

I miss the good, old days! I'm pretty sure I was never smacked upside the head by people other than my parents, but I'm sure some people wanted to!

 

Tell your daughter that the girl is just a big meanie and not to react to her.

Edited by thescrappyhomeschooler
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I have smacked other people's kids! My closest friends have always known that I expect them to treat my kids like their own - even if that meant a smack. I had the same liberty with theirs. Now they are too old to smack, but I'm not going to tell them that!

 

I would keep your child away from the one who obviously needs a smack if it is at all possible. Talking to the youth pastor sounds like a good idea too. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

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I spoke to another mom today who saw what happened and has seen similar episodes in the past between dd and this other child. She said what normally happens in these scenarios is the child will do something to antagonize or annoy dd. Dd reacts and usually ends up with her feelings hurt. The mom said it's like this every time and HER opinion was that the chances of the instigator changing were slim so maybe helping dd deal differently with her would be more effective. I agreed. The other mom also acknowledged that the mom of the instigator is just not interested in really seeing what her child is like and agreed that confrontation with her is futile.

 

So, we now have a plan. I spoke at length with dd this afternoon about how to deal with people like this kid. Bottom line: ignore her antics. Don't dig deeper to find out what she means by what she's doing or by her baiting comments. Just walk away and realize that this other girl is plainly jealous of dd and that's HER problem; it doesn't have to be dd's problem. The other mom I was speaking with was going to talk to her dd, who was also there when all this happened, to get any additional info, but her dd is not part of the problem. In fact, her dd tried to smooth it all over.

 

This kid just can not stand not being the center of attention. For example, dd mailed her Sunday School teacher a birthday card. He thanked her for it in class. Not in front of the class, but before it started. It was no big deal, just "Hey M's dd, thanks for the card!" This girl got an angry look and said, "You don't have the be the center of attention ALL THE TIME!" Dd was all :confused: and said, "I can give Mr. C a card if I want to. It doesn't have anything to do with you."

 

Another time, dd played a song she wrote for the piano for our NYE Talent show. This girl made unkind comments about it, again referring to being the center of attention. She is jealous that dd is homeschooled. She is jealous that dd "gets" two Christmases. (Dd pointed out that she "gets" two Christmases because her parents are divorced and did this kid want her parents divorced too, just for more presents??) On and on. So, helping dd deal with it and not get sucked into the vortex of idiocy is going to be more effective for dd in the long run. The mom I spoke with this morning and I (she's a youth group chaparone) agreed to keep them separated as much as feasibly possible, but we both know that won't be possible 100% of the time. But it might make things easier for dd for now.

 

It just makes me mad. I have worked so hard with dd to enable her to have confidence in her abilities and skills without being stuck up about it and be comfortable with who she is (quirks and all! LOL) just to have this kid seem to purposely try to rip her down. It's maddening! My friend encouraged me to look at it as an opportunity to help dd gain strength in setting boundaries for others and herself and to protect her emotions from being manipulated and hurt. Which, given how I was raised and my own default reactions to things, are good skills for her to learn!

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Ha! Several years ago, some older kids on the playground during a soccer practice were throwing shoes up in the air and a shoe hit my 3yo. I asked them stop several times. When they didn't and laughed at me I grabbed the shoes and told them that if they threw those shoes one more time I was going to throw them over the retaining wall. Yikes! I couldn't believe I said that! Not one of my better moments. Of course, they went and told their moms. The moms came and asked me if I had a problem with their kids. I said yes, explained the situation and their moms made them apologize! Closest I've ever gotten to slapping someone else's kid. :)

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It isn't usally the kids I want to smack. It's their parents who continually ignore their child's blatently obvious misbehavior over and over and over again. I'd be too scared of being sued to ever smack another kid, no matter how much they deserved it. Now, sometimes I would gladly spend the night in jail to kick the ever-loving bejesus out of some dumb parent.

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