jld Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 We were told recently that we seem more like an Indian family than an American one. I didn't ask for details, lol, but I did find that interesting. Has your family been told this? Did the people say why? If they didn't, what's your own guess as to why they think your family doesn't seem American? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 We were camping in Florida one February and were playing card games in a communal room on a Sunday night. There were other folks in there at different tables too. The next day one man was talking to hubby and told him he was surprised we were from PA (our license plate gave it away). He naturally assumed we were Canadian - as were the others there - considering we had skipped watching the Super Bowl the previous evening. :D There have been a couple of other times, but that one was the cutest. In general, people stereotype, but they forget that stereotypes aren't always true, especially when talking about an individual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Why is it that being a putz is the celebrated way of "being American"? We've never been accused of not being "America" but we have been accused of "not being normal" because we don't worship sports, we don't put our kids in school, and we are nice to people! Now, I will tell you that we went through some serious rejection when we lived near Frankenmuth, Mi...not in Frankenmuth but one of the other old German settlements. Our neighbors just could not fathom that a "non German" (meaning someone of not strong German heritage - these people were all US citizens) would move to "their town". When I say, "their town" I really mean this is what they thought. Germans had settled the area, everyone but us had a "german" last name, and anyone over the age of 45 could speak some German because up until the mid-seventies, German was taught and spoke in the Lutheran schools in the area plus many of the grandparents still spoke German as well. We were "outsiders" and actually had people knock on the door and say (this is an actual quote and similar to many conversations in the first year we lived there), "Hi, we are the _______ from the down the street. We just came to take a peek because we heard that Danish people moved into town and thought that was weird. You don't look Scandanavian." Me: "Uhm, no...my husband is Danish. I'm actually of Scottish and English background." Them: "Really????? Why on earth did you move here? This was a German settlement. Everyone's families have lived here for generations. We're supposed to be German. This house should belong to a German family. Good day." Off the porch they'd go! If we'd had any idea they would be so unfriendly, we never would have moved there. The realtor apparently didn't know or wanted to make the sale so badly she was unwilling to disclose this piece of information. The town's pastor was very, very friendly until he finally figured out we weren't going to convert. Then he stopped coming around. I think this attitude was unique to the town. I eventually began teaching music and science at one of the Lutheran schools in a different town and it was wonderful! Everyone was so friendly, outgoing, thrilled to have me there, loved our kids, loved dh, etc. It was the "alternate" universe to the town we lived in. Needless to say, after 11 years, we never made a single connection that caused us to have even the slightest twinge of sadness about leaving the area. People are weird! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 No, no one has really said to us but when we lived in Europe, people often didn't know we were Americans. In Ikea, the cashier was yelling at my husband in Vladeren since she was convinced he was local and just an idiot. Now we knew French and if she told us what to do in French, we would have responded. But seeing that my husband has strawberry blond hair, she just assumed he was Vlanderen and I guess an idiot. We didn't even know enough Vlanderen to say we don't speak the language. When we went to Poland, people were confused by me. See I do speak Polish but I speak pre-WWII Polish and not with a proper modern accent. They always tried to guess that we were Czech or Slovak or something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 The only time this has ever happened to me was in the months right after 9/11. I was in Walmart in or around Yorktown, VA. This lady from India (she was dressed like she was from India) was reduced to tears by some shoppers in the store and I took her and her kids to the bathroom to help. When I went to collect my cart, those same shoppers told me that foreigners like me needed to leave the country. I tried to laugh it off but it really scared me. For months after 9/11, I tried to go out only with my husband because when I went alone I was asked if I was an American and what my ethnic background was. Keep in mind, I am from the Great State of Louisiana, and with my accent, it was really puzzling why anyone thought I was from somewhere else. Not to hijack, but I just had to address this one. My dad is about as Cajun as they come. He has dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes, a super thick accent, and at the time he had a full beard. When we moved to Atlanta, people often mistook him for Middle Eastern. I could understand French, but Middle Eastern? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Medieval Mom Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 (edited) We get it all the time, especially from our European family, but from others as well. Well, DH is *not* American, but I got this response before I even knew him! :tongue_smilie: Edited February 8, 2011 by Medieval Mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 My husband has been accused of being an Israeli (by a Lebanese immigrant). My mother was always mistaken for being English (she has some PA-isms she uses and we both use European spelling habits). Many times, my husband and I have not felt like we were American...we just don't fit anywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firefly Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 My son's good friend is first generation American, his mom and dad are both Chinese. His mom has told me a few times, "You are just like Chinese lady!" I don't know what exactly she means by that, but I think she intends it as a compliment so that's how I take it. ;) And yes, when we lived in different places overseas, I was usually mistaken for anything other than American-- Swiss, Spanish, German, Canadian. Weird! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolally Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I was told this by an Indian family and my interpretation was that we valued tradition and roles within the family and it was something they didn't run across often with the American families they encountered in the schools. She also mentioned it in the context of the expectations we have of our kids. I didn't fully understand what she meant, and there is a bit of a communication barrier because of her english---but she clearly meant it as a compliment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxanne23 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 (edited) . Edited January 4, 2023 by roxanne23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepymommy Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Not exactly, I'm Indian American and look clearly Indian so I'm usually mistaken for not being American. OT, but I was in India for awhile an I was often mistaken as Italian??! Don't really know why and have never been able to figure that one out :confused::tongue_smilie:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepymommy Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I was told this by an Indian family and my interpretation was that we valued tradition and roles within the family and it was something they didn't run across often with the American families they encountered in the schools. She also mentioned it in the context of the expectations we have of our kids. I didn't fully understand what she meant, and there is a bit of a communication barrier because of her english---but she clearly meant it as a compliment. This is surely what they were meaning. Within most Indian families, parents have very high expectations of their children and strong family bonds are very important. Many normal Indian traditions are considered 'conservative' here in America not mainstream. For example, no dating, no going to parties (teenage type not birthday), VERY early curfews (I think mine was 7pm even when I was 17 yrs), etc. There is also a very strong emphasis on getting a solid education and going to a good college. The parents are involved with their kids a lot and religion usually plays a very important role in their lives. Instilling morals and good character is important not only because those are good traits to have but also because it keeps the family name clean. I know this is true of a lot of Americans not just 'conservatives', but it's not what is often portrayed in the media so the overall generalization of 'putz' as FaitheManor put it can often become the view of American families for those that have not been raised here. I'd take it as a compliment while knowing they aren't trying to be insulting towards Americans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I got that "compliment" when I was in Japan and in the Philippines. People would say, "You don't seem American" to mean that I didn't fit the stereotypes they'd picked up from watching American shows/movies on t.v. I tried to point out that it was a stereotype and there are many Americans like us but they just couldn't see that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Classical Country Mama Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 When my (American) family moved back to the U.S. when I was in high school, my sister and I did everything in our power NOT to be mistaken for American. Sometimes in public we'd go back and forth counting loudly in an Asian dialect just to see how many stares we could summon. Even now, living out in the Virginian farmlands in a 96% homogeneous area, I find myself silently rebelling at the thought of being mistaken for a native. Maybe it's one of the reasons I always prefer my house to smell strongly of curry. :D I guess people just see what they want to see, eh? Very telling, no matter which part of the world one is in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I would take that as a compliment! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 The only time this has ever happened to me was in the months right after 9/11. I was in Walmart in or around Yorktown, VA. This lady from India (she was dressed like she was from India) was reduced to tears by some shoppers in the store and I took her and her kids to the bathroom to help. When I went to collect my cart, those same shoppers told me that foreigners like me needed to leave the country. Ooh, I would have given them a piece of my mind! I remember getting so mad seeing stuff about incidents like this on the news. I was in the service and feeling a bit bitter about defending yahoos like that. I'd just decided not to re-up, too... When I was on liberty in Singapore I was mistaken for a local by a number of people. It's rather funny to have tourists asking you for directions when you ARE a tourist. But I'd snuck off without a liberty buddy so I could go to the National Museum (no one else wanted to go), and I was dressed in salwar kameez and had my (dark brown) hair braided down my back. Singapore is a fairly diverse place, but I don't look Indian. I'm an American mutt of mixed Spanish/Portuguese/British Isles descent. I'm sure I disabused anyone of thinking I was local when I opened my mouth and spoke...I definitely speak English with an American accent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Slightly off topic, but another cute one we had was when my boys were mistaken for native Hawaiians (still US, but...). We were on vacation in Kauai - our first time at the beach - and my boys first time with boogie boards. I was on the beach when a couple of older ladies walked past. One said, "Wait, I want to get a picture of those native boys surfing for my scrapbook." I looked over to where she was taking the pic and my boys were the only ones there. I guess they were doing well with their boogie boards! They're in somebody's scrapbook as native Hawaiians - probably due to a darker complexion. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amirah Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 this happened to me alot when i was still living in the US. since i am muslim and i cover in hijab people would just assume i was from somewhere else. until they heard me talk. i am from the south and i have a southern drawl lol. but i have gotten the people who yell go back to your country. i just laugh lol and tell them i am in my country. funny though i live in toronto and there is tons of muslims here and everyone can tell im american straight off lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4wildberrys Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Yes! We live in a VERY small town, yet my kids went to a different church's youth group meeting and they were asked what country they were from!! They didn't have that 'small town Idaho' look apparently. Needless to say, my kids were very flattered :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristinannie Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 When we traveled a lot, I would always try to emulate the locals when we went out. No one ever thought I was American. A lot of people spoke German to me (I guess I must look German even though I am Dutch and Portuguese) which worked out well because I speak German! It is usually pretty obvious when there is a group of Americans overseas and I try not to act like that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Year Round Mom Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I get mistaken for Korean or Korean-American all. the. time....by EVERYONE (Americans, Korean, Korean-Americans, everyone). I'm a Korean-adoptee, adopted as an infant. I was raised in rural, white America. I freaked out in college when the 30 or so Asians on campus pursued me, trying to get me to be part of their group. The problem is that so little is understood about international adoptees (the younger they were when adopted, the more the misunderstanding). I have no connection at all to Korea (except that I taught there for two years and that I married a KA). I don't really consider myself to having a heritage, but if I did, I would have to say it's more German-Russian because that's my parents'. I was born in a foreign country. The beauty of being American is that I am one based on who I am INSIDE, not OUTSIDE. I am a believer in nurture over nature, when it comes to culture. What I know from Korea and its culture is based on my time there as a teacher, as a foreigner. I was so often misunderstood, I started getting offended... Other Korean-Americans' judgments hurt me the worst. They believe I am forsaking my birth culture...I did not forsake it, it forsook me (I was only an infant!). I see Korean-Americanism as a spectrum. One could be more Asian or more American, depending on his/her choices. I didn't have a choice; I was raised American only. I'm so grateful for that one! But it's a mistake to think that I'm on the KA spectrum... I still take an interest in Korea, as my children have a Korean-American father and family members, but I, myself, am American. In case you're wondering, my parents did try to get me interested in Korean culture, but I was never interested. I understand that some Korean adoptees do desire to learn about the culture, and that's great. I am interested, too, like I said, due to the reasons above. But I do not IDENTIFY myself with it beyond being married to a KA. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RegGuheert Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I travel all over the world and there have been quite a few times when customers and/or coworkers were surprised when I did not fit their stereotype of an American: - In Asia I've had a couple of occasions where my host tried to get cutlery for me to use at a meal and they were quite surprised when I told them I was fine eating with chopsticks. (My hosts have ALWAYS been very generous in Asia!) - In Europe I once had a customer tell me that I had converted my fuel mileage incorrectly when I told him what our car used. This was in about 2003 and he insisted that my car must use more than his car. Our car is a hybrid. - In China I've had a coworker express extreme surprise that my family does not have any outstanding debt and that we saved a large portion of our income. I suppose we just don't fit the stereotypes very well... :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gratia271 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 We were told recently that we seem more like an Indian family than an American one. I didn't ask for details, lol, but I did find that interesting. Has your family been told this? Did the people say why? If they didn't, what's your own guess as to why they think your family doesn't seem American? I am told this all the time, particularly in respect of my son. My conjecture is that he does not dress nor hold himself nor act like the stereotypical American boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I don't advertise that I used to be American, but if it comes out, people often tell me that they never would have pegged me for an American. I take it as a great compliment. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 When I visited France I got into an argument with a bartender about my nationality. He was convinced I was Scottish - there was no way he would believe I was American. In Turkey I'm mistaken for British usually. No one picks American. DH is originally Turkish (now US citizen) and had quite a time in the Yorktown, VA area immediately after 9/11. It's not an easy place to be foreign. Which is very sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepymommy Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 When I visited France I got into an argument with a bartender about my nationality. He was convinced I was Scottish - there was no way he would believe I was American. In Turkey I'm mistaken for British usually. No one picks American. DH is originally Turkish (now US citizen) and had quite a time in the Yorktown, VA area immediately after 9/11. It's not an easy place to be foreign. Which is very sad. Not only Va, it was all over. We were in NY at the time, Dh was a first responder at Ground Zero. He was there all day and all night, he took the subway home at 6am and as he was walking to our apt he nearly got jumped by a group of guys yelling racial slurs and telling him to go back to "his country" ( we were both born and raised here). Another time we were driving down the road and at a stop light a man and woman got out of the car that was behind us and started banging on our car windows and kicking our car, again with the slurs and hate. I could go on but you get the picture.. :sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 This is surely what they were meaning. Within most Indian families, parents have very high expectations of their children and strong family bonds are very important. Many normal Indian traditions are considered 'conservative' here in America not mainstream. For example, no dating, no going to parties (teenage type not birthday), VERY early curfews (I think mine was 7pm even when I was 17 yrs), etc. I think it is the family bonds part, and the fact that we're vegetarian.:D I really took it as a sign of acceptance into the community. Of course, we'll never be Indian, but it is nice to have an easy relationship with our neighbors.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 Another time we were driving down the road and at a stop light a man and woman got out of the car that was behind us and started banging on our car windows and kicking our car, again with the slurs and hate. I could go on but you get the picture.. :sad: This is the sort of thing that scares me about certain groups, that intentionally or not, they encourage this sort of behavior. I'm really sorry this happened to you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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