Probably a dumb ? - but, how to rest?

[ErinD]

Hi everyone, I am a shy fan and avid reader of The Hive who has been trying to post more often. :)

 

I really need advice, please! Here's the deal: We have had more than two months of non-stop illness at our house, mostly the kids but then a couple of weeks ago I caught pneumonia from one of them. Not surprising - I was run down from keeping all our comittments, schoolwork, extra laundry from the household barfers, a renovation...ok, you get the idea.

 

I was supposed to rest completely, but the best I was able to do with our schedule was to cut down drastically...ie basic schoolwork, the usual tons of laundry, and meals. My husband works 70+ hours per week so he is almost never home. My 18 yo has been running backup for me with his siblings (10 and 3) wherever possible, changing bedsheets, etc.

 

Even so, I ended back up at the hospital yesterday and have been diagnosed with a combination of some leftover pneumonia, asthma developed from the pneumonia making it hard to breathe, and beginning bronchitis caught from another of my children, causing me to cough all the time. I am on various meds and have been told in no uncertain terms to do basically NOTHING for two weeks.

 

My question is, with all the committments that a 5-person family has, a pile of relatives wanting to do Christmas things, and a three year old peeing the bed all of a sudden every night, how am I supposed to just stop? I'm ready to cry, I'm so worn down. What will my house look like if I just sit around? Help! Any advice welcome! Please!

[lionfamily1999]

Your house will look as bad as it would if you were hospitalized, which is where you are heading without a good long rest :grouphug:

 

You're ill and stressing/cleaning isn't going to make you any better. It's time to ignore the pleas and go to sleep.

[elegantlion]

:grouphug::grouphug: I'm sorry, being ill bites. But...be okay to let it go. IMO take two weeks off of school. Maybe have your ds18 read to the little ones, rent some holiday films.

 

Laundry and Meals? Time to have your ds 18 help out more. Laundry..wear only what is necessary, wash when needed. Meals, again have the 18 year old help out. Can your dh start something in the crock pot before he leaves for work? Have the 18 year old change sheets.

 

I'm a big believer in taking time off when you're sick and it sounds like if you don't get the rest you need, you'll only make it worse. Be sick. Shut the bedroom door and rest. Don't get up, allow the others in the household to help you out. Laundry and dishes and meals will still be there when you're better.

 

As far as holiday plans, I'd tell family I'm sick and if they'd love to come and take the kids for a few hours so you could rest that would be great.

 

Delegate, delegate, delegate...Hope you feel better soon. :grouphug:

[SailorMom]

I have had pneumonia 3 times. The first time my kids were 3 and 4 - and it was right at Christmas with my in-laws coming into town. Then I got it about every other year after that. My DH is military - so add that to the equation :(

 

Anyway - what I learned was this.... If you do not rest NOW - you will pay later.

Be it a longer time sick, more antibiotics, or eventual hospitalization - it will catch up to you.

 

The house can fall apart, the kids can eat PB&J for dinner, all outside commitments canceled. I'm serious. Your health MUST be your priority right now. This is a great time for your 10 yo to learn how to cook and clean. Those pile of relatives.... they need to be at your house doing laundry and wrapping your X-Mas presents for you :)

[Melinda in VT]

Buy Pullups for the 3yo for nighttime use until you are feeling better.

 

:grouphug:

[MaMa2005]

I would start Christmas break right now. No more schoolwork until after the first of the year. Put the three year old in nightime pullups for the time being. Go the the store and get some ramen noodles, cup of soup, cereal, etc. that are in their own containers (no flames for unhealthy eating). The 18 and 10 year old should be able to keep up with the laundry.

 

Your health is of utmost importance. Your house will still be standing in a couple of weeks. Get yourself well and then start back slowly with your regular routine.

 

:grouphug:

[Twinmom]

I'm so sorry you are so sick! You must, must, must rest or you will end up in the hospital. I was going to ask if you could hire some help for a few weeks, but since you have an 18 yr old... ;) Put that kid to work! Offer to pay a babysitting/housecleaning/light cooking rate as an incentive if you are able to do so, and your kiddo can earn some unexpected spending money! If you can't, heck...just call it the responsibility of being part of a family. Put all thoughts of school out of your head until after Christmas. Even some of us who are not sick are doing that (tee hee...we quit last Friday until January! :D) Get that pile of relatives to offer to help...Christmas is about giving, after all!

 

Make a quick checklist of the chores you need done during the day, ideas for easy meals and suggestions for what to do with the kiddos. Rent a bunch of holiday movies for the small ones. Got any old toys in storage? Pull them out and they will seem like new ones! Leave your 18 yr old a library card to take the kids to get Christmas books to read at home while you are resting. A quick trip to the grocery store on behalf of said 18 yr old can bring home some store bought Christmas cookies, candy canes or whatever you all have around on the holidays. Buy whatever gifts you can online and have them delivered...the extra cost will be worth it this year. Skip Christmas cards and send "Happy New Year" ones instead. Cut corners this year wherever you can manage it. Skip those holiday parties, etc. and focus on healing your body.

 

If you give yourself two solid weeks of rest, you can probably feel human again by Christmas (or at least partly there!) and you can enjoy the holiday with your family. If you don't, you will collapse closer to the 25th and feel so bad on Christmas morning that no one will enjoy themselves! Ask me how I know this...unfortunately, btdt. :glare:

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

:grouphug: I had pneumonia 4 times in the past 2 years.

Consider these:

1. See pulmonologist

2. Have pulmonary function tests and maybe methocholine challenge test, pulse oximetry, lab work such as CBC, ACS, and urinanalysis, vitamin D level, thryoid as ordered

3. Ask about need for steroid inhalers or advair discus and albuterol inhaler as well as nebulizer with albuterol nebs to have on hand at all times at home.

4. Consider Vitamin D3 2000 units to 10,000 units daily-check with doctor

5. Use warm saline water gargles 3 times a day to prevent colds

6. Use mouthwash twice a day to help prevent colds

7. Neilmed nasal saline rinses 2-3 times a day at the first sign of a cold (Walmart carries this. I prefer the bottle)

8. Emergen C 3-4 times day at the first sign of a cold

9. Fish oil 3-6 capsules daily-check with doctor ( I use Sam's club)

10. Kefir drink daily

11. Ask about prilosec daily for possible esohpageal reflux which can aggravate asthma.

 

For your 3 year, consider using nightime pull ups to save your sanity IMHO. Many kids need them till they are even 7 or 8 years old.

[ErinD]

I hadn't given any thought to being hospitalized - yikes! Wouldn't have thought that could happen! Scary.

 

Hubby just found me hanging onto the shower wall coughing up a lung and asked "Is it always like that?!" When I answered in the sort-of-affirmative ("Well, actually, no...I didn't throw up this time"), he called everyone who had plans with me and cancelled them; he has also booked some time off work.

 

So hopefully I can actually get some actual rest. A daycare friend has offered to take the 3 year old daily for the next 2 weeks as well, so all I have to do is get him there and back.

 

Thanks everyone for the support, advice and private messages - it's so great to hear from btdt people instead of the "come on you're a superwoman" family members! Much appreciated.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Cereal and pizza won't kill anyone if it's only for 2 weeks.

Pullups for the 3yo for now.

School is over for the semester except for maybe good videos.

18 yo can go buy everyone more socks/underwear and help with laundry.

Go to bed and get better or you'll be in the hospital again.

[elegantlion]

I hadn't given any thought to being hospitalized - yikes! Wouldn't have thought that could happen! Scary.

 

Hubby just found me hanging onto the shower wall coughing up a lung and asked "Is it always like that?!" When I answered in the sort-of-affirmative ("Well, actually, no...I didn't throw up this time"), he called everyone who had plans with me and cancelled them; he has also booked some time off work.

 

So hopefully I can actually get some actual rest. A daycare friend has offered to take the 3 year old daily for the next 2 weeks as well, so all I have to do is get him there and back.

 

Thanks everyone for the support, advice and private messages - it's so great to hear from btdt people instead of the "come on you're a superwoman" family members! Much appreciated.

 

Wonderful!!! I'm so glad to hear it. May your downtime be restful and your healing be swift.

[Catwoman]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I don't have any great advice for you, but I'm so sorry you've been feeling so awful for so long, and I hope you start to feel better soon!

 

I'm so glad your husband is starting to realize just how very ill you are, and that he's going to help you.

 

Cat

[Peela]

Fantastic that your husband will stay home and help.

Take care and let go of the housework and school and as much of the childcare as you can. Let the others cook or eat cereal for a couple of weeks.

Better now than hospitalisation soon, perhaps over Christmas, as others have said.

Christmas is still Christmas whether you have prepared a lot or whether others are bringing you tea and cake in bed. Its only Christmas, really- your health is more important.

[Rosie_0801]

Thanks everyone for the support, advice and private messages - it's so great to hear from btdt people instead of the "come on you're a superwoman" family members! Much appreciated.

 

Don't answer the phone to those relatives :glare: and instruct whoever answers the phone to say "Sorry, you can't talk to Mum, she's got pneumonia and is coughing up a lung. We're so worried about her we've locked her in her room to make her rest so she doesn't get herself hospitalised. No, I'm serious, she really is that sick."

 

If your 3yo's bed wetting isn't caused by the stress of your illness, a trip to the chiropractor would probably fix it. But that's extra hassle you don't need to I'm with the others, send someone out for pull ups.

 

Go to bed and catch up on all the silly romance novels you've been meaning to read ;)

 

:grouphug:

Rosie

[Pippen]

I had mono a few years ago and I was down for a week, and again last year with major surgery the week before Christmas.

 

Go to all paper and plastic for dishes. It will save a lot of time.

 

Take a second look at laundry--can they reuse towels, wear jeans a second day, etc?

 

If you have a church or circle of friends, let them know you are in need of meals for the next two weeks. Most people are glad to be told a specific way to help.

 

Also tell friends you could use to borrow some DVD's. My friends and I did this when we had sick kids--helped a lot to have new stuff in the house and my kids had fun putting together bags for movies for the sick house.

 

Think of this as a different sort of Christmas. Last year we knew in advance I'd be having surgery so everything was on a smaller scale. You know what? My kids liked it that way, and I'm not one to go way overboard to begin with.

 

When you start back up again, start slow. ie Let the kids carry the laundry down and you just put it in and out. Empty the top rack of the dishwasher, let someone else do the bottom.

 

Go to pullups for nighttime for the three year old. A time of major upheaval in the house usually isn't a good time to make potty training progress anyway.

[kwickimom]

:grouphug: I am in the same boat. We had a 9 day stomach flu, which I then caught bronchitis, which turned into pnuemonia. We have already taken 2 weeks off of school. I cant rest because I have 3 kids and a life. All I can say is let go what you can, which I know is hard and almost impossible. I havent left my house in like 10 days. My kids are going nuts, the house is trashed, Christmas is coming and I have nothing done..............totally stinks. Just try not to land in th hospital again. Thats my main goal- not to land in the hospital.

 

Ask for help if you can. I have no one, but at this point I would ask anyone that bothered to talk to me for help LOL

[Parrothead]

Hire some help!

[dangermom]

Everything they said above, and...call on your friends. (Actually, have your husband do it. You stay in bed.) If you go to church, call them up and tell them you need cleaning and meals. If you have a homeschool group, call them up. Call up your other friends and ask them for help. Not everyone will be able to help, but I bet quite a few will show up.

[JVA]

Buy Pullups for the 3yo for nighttime use until you are feeling better.

 

:grouphug:

 

I SO AGREE. Make this easier on yourself. :iagree:

[ErinD]

:grouphug: I am in the same boat. We had a 9 day stomach flu, which I then caught bronchitis, which turned into pnuemonia. We have already taken 2 weeks off of school. I cant rest because I have 3 kids and a life. All I can say is let go what you can, which I know is hard and almost impossible. I havent left my house in like 10 days. My kids are going nuts, the house is trashed, Christmas is coming and I have nothing done..............totally stinks. Just try not to land in th hospital again. Thats my main goal- not to land in the hospital.

 

Ask for help if you can. I have no one, but at this point I would ask anyone that bothered to talk to me for help LOL

 

Sending well wishes and thanks to someone else in the same boat. I know it's sick, but it's great to know I'm not alone in this! PM me, kwickimom, if you want to moan and whine along with me at any time. Maybe we can keep each other off-track, lol.

 

Thanks again everyone for the great suggestions. I took it really easy today and I plan to do the same for the rest of the week.

 

On a funny note, we discovered the reason for the sudden-onset bed-wetting: turns out that each sibling, in an effort to take to load off Mom, has given their brother his bedtime sip of water for the last several days...except that Mom had already done it too. :lol:

[lionfamily1999]

I hadn't given any thought to being hospitalized - yikes! Wouldn't have thought that could happen! Scary.

 

Hubby just found me hanging onto the shower wall coughing up a lung and asked "Is it always like that?!" When I answered in the sort-of-affirmative ("Well, actually, no...I didn't throw up this time"), he called everyone who had plans with me and cancelled them; he has also booked some time off work.

 

So hopefully I can actually get some actual rest. A daycare friend has offered to take the 3 year old daily for the next 2 weeks as well, so all I have to do is get him there and back.

 

Thanks everyone for the support, advice and private messages - it's so great to hear from btdt people instead of the "come on you're a superwoman" family members! Much appreciated.

Give dh a high five from me :D

 

I'm glad you'll get the break you need.

 

:grouphug:

[bookfiend]

I hadn't given any thought to being hospitalized - yikes! Wouldn't have thought that could happen! Scary.

 

Hubby just found me hanging onto the shower wall coughing up a lung and asked "Is it always like that?!" When I answered in the sort-of-affirmative ("Well, actually, no...I didn't throw up this time"), he called everyone who had plans with me and cancelled them; he has also booked some time off work.

 

So hopefully I can actually get some actual rest. A daycare friend has offered to take the 3 year old daily for the next 2 weeks as well, so all I have to do is get him there and back.

 

Thanks everyone for the support, advice and private messages - it's so great to hear from btdt people instead of the "come on you're a superwoman" family members! Much appreciated.

 

I'm certain you already know, but you have an awesome husband!

 

Also, all those family members who want to make holiday plans - put them to work instead. Now is the time to call in chips.

[justamouse]

Glad you're getting that rest.

 

Having pneumonia feels like an elephant is sitting on your chest so I can't imagine how you're getting up. ;)

 

Your Dh is awesome. Now get some sleep.

[joannqn]

Let it go.

 

School work can wait.

 

Laundry can wait. Have DH, an older child, or a friend put in a wash of essentials when you run out of underwear. Wear clothes a few times to cut down on laundry.

 

Vacuuming, dusting, mopping, picking up can wait. About the only thing that must be done is dishes which can be done by DH, an older child, or a friend. Get paper/plastic and use every time possible.

 

Put the 3 year old in pull-ups for now.

 

Do the simplest meals possible. Cereal, sandwiches. If you have older kids that can make something, anything, eat that.

 

You do NOT want to end up in the hospital.

 

I've been there. I was on bedrest for 5 weeks and watched my clean house fall apart as I stayed in bed. It's hard to see, but your house will recover and your kids will survive.